Fantastic 40+ thread - part 4

[hippychick66]

Come on ladies - you know who you are .......

Very gentle ((( ))) for you Curly. Nobble the consultant next time he does his rounds and make him speak into 'voice memo'. I remember saying the same thing to my mum, vividly. And my dd said the same to me. You become aware of the concept and it's terrifying. I'm glad you're able to reassure he - even if you can't remember your own name and address .

Curly sorry - now I'm being confusing. I was talking about your dd and her comment.

Italian - here's the link: www.nice.org.uk/nicemedia/live/10936/29270/29270.pdf . Just search on 'prayer', or go to page 18, Cha et al.

Thank you for your well wishes and your careful ((())) lol. I was bedbound but they don't let you sleep properly - taking temp, blood pressure, checking my wee bag etc. Morphine is great for the pain but has made me itchy and nauseous (been sick twice). Feeling dozy and haven't got much of an appetite - great for weight loss lol. Looking hot in my white surgical stockings with leg pumps (to help circulation), hospital gown, oxygen nasal tube with crazy hair (hair with no products in). Was told that someone would help wash me, couldnt think of nothing worse. So with all the energy I could muster and the pain I was determined to have a shower. Nurse saw me in all my glory as needed help to put a plastic glove over hand with that needle thingy in it and to position my wee wee bag out of the way. Now have added pain - trapped wind, thankfully I have a room to myself

Awww. You poor thing Curly. Have another gentle ((((())))) and get better soon.

Big IOW hugs to curly - remember i warned you about the trapped wind - it rises up to your shoulders - blimey I remember it well. i remember the morphine too - ahhhhhhhh.......

get well soon, lovey. hope it's all worth while for you.

I have been getting terrible pains up my jacksy (that's anus or rectum to the more refined of you).

For a while now i have had pressure and pain up there. (I do remember getting it after the EPRC as well). Somwetimes at night it really hurts - like someone is shoving a brolly up there .

Obviously I have googled and am confident that i either have rectal cancer, endometriosis in my bowel, an anal fissure (sp?),or IBS.

i suspect it might be my endo because I am having that bad at the moment in my abdomen.

Anyway I will just have to make an appointment with our new GP - wow what a great first appointment - wish i could go back to my lovely GP in Hertfordshire.

love to all. XXX

Curly, glad to hear it went well, and I hope you are feeling back to your normal self soon.

Hippy - those pains sound awful. It is most likely the endo. Don't be worrying yourself about all that other stuff. I do hope it eases up soon.

Italian, how soon will you have the transfer done? What an exciting time for you.

I'm pleased to hear your Gran is praying for us, Curly. Although I've done all I can to accept my lot, it's still incredibly hard. Really would much rather have a pregnancy and baby.

Like you Hippy, I am starting to believe that after 44 it really is the exception that carry a baby to term, unless going the donor route.

I'm going to see my Doc today. It's been ten weeks since the miscarriage and I haven't had a period. I suppose it is normal for an old duck like myself? But then again, I was regular before the pregnancy and miscarriage. So I'll ask her about that. I'm still waiting on the results from pathology. Two weeks ago I was told it would be a couple of days for the FISH(Fluorescence in situ hybridization) results to come through. They still haven't. No doubt they were sent to the wrong place again. Hopefully, by going in to see the doctor (and paying $60 again) she might try a bit harder to get the results. She must be sick of the sight of me!

How are our Preggie girl's feeling?

Hi all.
Curly we use to stock peppermint water on the ward ; very good for trapped Wind.'hope u feel better soon.
Gum good luck at Drs and hope AF Isn t AWOL for much longer.
Hippy fx only endometrisis ( sure it is) all the other alternatives you listed are way too nasty. Hope the boys enjoy their first day.
Hi all I m fine just knackered . Finding it hard going at work. My cankles at the end of thd day are so attractive!!!! My manager is trying to arrange it now whereby I don t have a clinic so can do admin work but best laid plans; !!!! Like today ; there's only my clinic as we re so short staffed!!! I ve slowed down a lot at work and patients just have to wait ; if they don t like it it's tough!!!!
I ve virtually packed my hospital bag , GILS
: my mum can do it if I have to go in early.
Too painful to do yet. Xxx

hello all. Sorry I've been awol for such a long time. Have had a torrid time with dh - he moved out and went to his mothers, and has been totally horrible to me alot of the time. I thought he had had a personality transplant. We're still not properly together - I can't forgive him for leaving me alone over the last mc, for being so horrible for me, for always putting work first. He is also very controlling I think. Being charitable though, we have gone through alot recently - mcs, loss of job, moving house (and city ), new schools it's all alot to take and it did seem as though he was/is very stressed and taking it out on me.

Since then I've been away on holiday with the dcs alone (was already planned due to dh's work - but that's another bone of contention as he could have come if he wanted to) which was nice, and hot, and not-very-relaxing!

Anyway, just to confuse things, I did have a couple of nights of passion (!) with dh and guess what!!! BFP!!! omg. . I sort of knew that it was going to happen actually, and although I only tested this morning, I have known for days I was pg as I am already feeling sick. So it's all a bit of a mess, I don't know what to do about dh, and I haven't even told him yet (and wont for a while until I start to feel really sick/tired). So need to work out how pg I am - cd30 today, but dtd on days 11 and 13. I think I ov'ed on day 12 or 13.

gum thanks for the message. I'm so sorry about what you're going through. My dh is a bit similar to yours. When we were rowing, he was horrible about ttc, but has said since that he does want me to get pg and to to everything to make that happen. So it's all a bit confused.

italian woohoo! HOpe everything goes well for you.

hello to everyone else, and newbies! Hope it all goes well for you.

angel and diege I'm getting very excited for you.

Also saw the sad news about magic8, didn't "know" her well, but was on the ttc after mc thread with her when I was Someone Else.

OMG Beattie that's amazing news!Congratulations. I hope it is all trouble free from here on in.

So sorry to hear you've been having a rough time of it though.

I've just got back from the doctor's and she chased up the results while I was there. They couldn't find any abnormality, but they can only check for the main ones when they test from the placenta. At least I know it was a boy. So that's two little lost boys. I cried all the way home - was glad to be alone in the car, and glad I had a 20 minute drive.

My doctor is very "pro" intuition, and knowing if you are "meant" to have another baby, she describes herself as "spiritual",and felt very sad that my DH and I can't agree about trying again.

When I got home and spoke to my DH he hardly looked up from the computer as he had to get some work done. It just breaks my heart that he can't see how sad all of this is making me. I sometimes wonder what happened to the man I was happy with for 20 years. Not because I no longer love him, but I just can't quite fathom how he can feel no sadness about any of this. I guess I just have to accept that it is this way, and try to move on.

Sorry to be a "Debbie Downer", just feeling sad and really have no one else to talk to.

my dh is the same in alot of ways gum. He won't acknowledge anything about my last mc, how sad it made me, how hard it was. He is (imo) really heartless about it in a really weird way. He didn't take time off work to be with me and didn't even hug me. He made me carry on as normal while I was mcing, even inviting his mum and her partner to the flat while he wasn't there for me to entertain them. I hated him for it. and just find it incomprehensible. I daren't even tell him about this pg in case it goes wrong and I'm left alone again. I kind of feel that I'm protecting myself by not telling him in case I do have to deal with it. I just don't understand how someone who is meant to love me can be so cold about it.

Sorry that turned into a post about me, but it seems that my dh and yours are behaving quite similarly - maybe it's a weird male thing, but I don't understand it at all.

Bloody hell... so many of you are having such a horrible time.

BB really sorry to hear what you've been going through. I think men do handle stuff "differently". I seem to recall that you have 5 children already - are they all with your current husband, and have you been with him all that time? Perhaps if so, and he is acting really so out of character, there is something more underlying his behaviour? Depression or anxiety maybe? You must feel topsy turvy about the BFP - are you feeling pleased, or is it just overwhelming?

Gum Big hug to you - I'm so sorry about your 2 little boys. And I'm really sorry you have no one to talk to about this. Looking "in" at your life in your blog, it always sound so idyllic - do you think those around you perhaps haven't heard how much you're struggling with this?

curly hope you feel better soon.

fireflies so sorry about the BFN - hand squeezes to you x

Lou hope you are shirking like hell

We're doing fine. M is sleeping 6 hour stretches now, and I can even form sentences and bake cakes on good days.

Hugs to all and welcome to all the new people xx

Hi TTT glad you re getting some sleep and hope you re enjoying M. . I m attempting to shrik!!!!
BB firstly; congrats x secondly; sorry you re having a rough time with DH. Men are so ttotally different and do grieve/ mull stuff over in a way that seems alien to us. When we were in the depths of grieving I used to think Ant didn t care but as my counsellor advised me he did/ does just shows it differently, on the other hand ; there's no excuse if you re DH' being mean and selfish to you. Hope you can come to some happy medium for you both. Xx
Gum sorry you re experiencing the upset again. Have you tried/ thought of counselling to see if it helps??? Hope u feel a little better soon xxx
Hi all hope everyone's ok?
Finished work at 2 , siesta time now. Finished buying " fat" trousers and tops for my hospital bag. It's packed!!! Xxx

Hello again all and so sorry so many of you are having such a terrible time... It's so bloody hard and all consuming. I used to be on here maybe for the last 18 months to two years - from when I first miscarried. All in all I miscarried 5 times - only had three scanned. I gave up hope and paid for a private consultant who found nothing wrong bar age. All the time I was ageing. After three expensive visits to him and during my fifth miscarriage we went again. After an hours wait I told dp I couldn't face it. Dp went in alone and asked for clomid. Told 'no she's ovulating' dp demanded saying 'whyever not - worth a try' consultant gave the script saying it was 'bad medical practice' .
The next month was long and I did not ovulate till day 23 bfn. The next month I ovulated much earlier than normal. That's pretty normal for me as I just kept miscarrying. However I am here to say 'keep trying' as this one had stuck. I went numb after the bfp and could barely thibk pg. At 7 weeks I suddenly booked a scan and went. I unashamedly shouted all the way through the scan ' no it can't be - a heartbeat - no!!!' and was then scanned the next week and the next. I paid for them all could not face the epu that had seen so much pain.....
Anyway I'm no way out of the woods but am 15 weeks and 44 next month.
Please pm me for any chat or advice as I'd love to help. I'm sure the consultant will say the clomid did nothing but I've had 12 pregnancies now and I don't believe that.
I DID despair/ give up hope/ chastise myself for beibg so obsessed and then start to look at egg donation but I kept trying in the knowlede I just could NOT stop.
It's dominated two years of my life but it was nature or something that drove me and I KNOW how lucky I now am. But I've been on so many MN threads and been the one with the mmc - this feels unreal. Please don't give up hope xxxxx

Shpuld have previewed but on phone - after second month it should say I 'got bfp but that was normal for me I just kept miscarrying'

Just to add another thing that sticks in my head - I said to sonographer before the first scan ' please don't ask me if I am sure of my dates - I am' I had been there so many times .

And one last thing - it puts such a strain on relationships it's surprising any of us survive it.

Congrats Soothe hope you get your take home baby xxxx best of luck xxx

thanks so much angelgeorgie - this whole thing can be so so hard and heartbreaking - all the best to everyone on here

Soothe welcome, congratulations and sorry that things are difficult for you.

curley Hope you feel better soon. Thanks for clarifying about your DD; of course she doesn?t want you to die. Silly of me to ask!

Fireflies Hugs to you, honey. Is that right, that the people were twice as likely to get pregnant with assisted conception with prayer? Or am I reading those figures wrong? Kids so say some weird things, and worry about weird things! My DD watched Horrid Henry the movie and found something to be scared about in it, then watched a (FRANKLY QUITE SCARY) episode of My parents are Aliens and was not scared at all!

Hippy - Dr Cake here - get thee to a doctor. Remember to tell them if you are taking Clomid, it might be affecting your endometriosis or IBS.

www.medicinenet.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=53647
"MEMBER QUESTION:
Would Femera or Clomid cause endometriosis to thicken or grow at a quicker rate?

DR. AMOS:
Both of these medications can occasionally worsen the symptoms of endometriosis. They induce ovulation, and ovulation increases your estrogen levels, which can make endometriosis grow. Most doctors usually make sure they monitor their patients to ensure that endometriosis does not grow too much. "

Not sure there is much here
www.uptodate.com/contents/patient-information-endometriosis but take a look if you wish to.

On a brighter note, it is good news about Amanda Holden
uk.lifestyle.yahoo.com/celebrity-baby-news-135421392.html

Gum and BB so sorry things are hard at the moment. I can only say that men do seem to view miscarriage very differently from women. I miscarried while doing the ironing, DH went to bed and I had to wake him up and get him to take me to the hospital because it was so difficult. It took a while for me to really forgive him for not feeling the same way as I did about the baby (tiny embryo) that we lost. In the end I had to accept he just did not see the embryo in the same way I did. I wonder if counselling of some sort would help. All the best.

Hugs to Angelgeorgie, Hairy, Pocket, Curly, Diege, Jolls, Nicole, Tank, Panshe, Shandy, Tina and Mitzimaybe and baby dust to all.

Soothe sorry that should have been "....congratulations and sorry that things have been difficult for you."

And I spoke a bit soon for dear Amanda Holden...

uk.news.yahoo.com/pregnant-star-holden-shaken-car-crash-190537480.html

Hope all is well with her.

Congratulations bb lovely to hear from you. Sorry that things between you and your Dh are unsettled. Welcome and congrats to soothe wishing you an uneventful, boring but pleasant 25 weeks. I'll add you to my DG prayer list. Waves a groggy hello to all the 40 plus fantastic ladies....you know who you are mesh x x

Hippy just a quick word to say that clomid has affected me even in the months I haven't taken it - I have had shooting pains, IBS and bloating. I was still getting pains and bloating around ovulation a couple of months later (which is helpful in one way, but doesn't particularly put you in the mood!).

Many congrats BB and lovely to hear from you . SOrry to hear things are rubbish with dh - I think I would (personally) hold off telling him for now - as you say a self-preservation thing, and you will know when it feels right to break the news.
Curly you poor thing, you sound in a pretty rough way (meant in the nicest way!). I also remember the trapped wind after a gynae op', and also the pain of trying to cough. Take care and fingers crossed for a swift recovery.
Hippy that pain sounds rubbish - get to your GP! If it does turn out to be an anal fissure I am (sadly) a bit of an expert in this area, so ask away!
Gum sounds pretty tough for you too You must feel very despondent, esp with the way dh is behaving. Would it be worth spelling out to him exactly how you are feeling in a very unsubtle way? It's certainly not doing you any good keeping it to yourself xxx
TTT glad to hear things are good with M. How old is she now?
Soothe hello and many congratulations
Angel you've got me all anxious now about packing my bag. I don't even have a bag to pack as such, and while I have lots of baby clothes don't have any essentials just yet (ie. nappies) other than ds's size 5s.... I am also super tired at work - the commute is killing me. Woman at school said to me this morning 'Have you still not had that baby yet' - er no, I don't really want to give birth to a 31 weeker...
Fireflies hope you're ok xxx
Italian sounds like things are progressing well - very exciting though I'm sure extremely stressful for you too!
Love to all x

Hi all.
There's been a lot going on here hasn't there.
bb Congrats for your Bfp, that's amazing. I'm so sorry that things have been rough with your dh though and I hope you pull through and he's there for you.
gum I so feel for you too and your dh. I agree with the others that men don't react in the same way as us. My dh doesn't see the it's a baby thing as it's not here after a mc and I think they don't get the timeliness of getting older feelings either. In some ways they are so much simpler and straightforward which doesn't really help us or them to empathise with us. Hang in there gum.

Hugs to you curly hope the pain is getting less.

Having been months in the wilderness since my mmc in May I've just had a, wait for it Bfp! I'm still in shock but also not letting myself quite believe it in case. . I haven't told dh yet for those reasons. And what's weird is I don't feel pg, which is why I waited til cd34 to test, normally I'm a cd26-8 girl.

Anyway I'm now desperate to hang on to it and have bought Boots out almost and now I'm worried about taking too much new stuff. Happy days!

Love to everyone soothe, Italian_ go you, tank hi, Angel, diege. and alls.

Ooh Shandy that's wonderful news, hoiw exciting I'm sure you feel all over the place, but try and relax and enjoy these early days xxx

Woohoo for shandy, fabulous news. Hi Diege, hugs to gum and waves hello to all.....sorry that's all I can manage for now, as the painkillers knock me for six.........