Fantastic 40+ thread - part 4

[hippychick66]

Come on ladies - you know who you are .......

Thanks hippy, it is hard to let go. I had a lovely day out today with my youngest, and on the way home it crossed my mind that it would be quite nice to be free of the dreaded PMS every month. Then I got home, went to the loo, and slight signs of the dreaded AF arrived, three weeks late. Could already feel my decisive thoughts about letting go being eroded by thoughts of 'Well, even if my periods become really sketchy, I've still got a tiny chance' :(
Just going to ignore it, keep remembering that it's most likely a different future I need to plan, and concentrate on having the utmost fun with my kids.

Hi all - sorry I missed the bistro. Dps birthday, so took him to see Warhorse. Not a dry eye in the house! Has anyone else seen it?

Hippy Gilly Gum you all seem to be on a similar path for different reasons. I may well have to join you and some point, so keep a space for me. *Gum I'm grateful for the B vits info - I'm pumping bovril/nuts/eggs rather than taking supplements
Panashe that's so sad. You deserve a break. CPs are the pits. Thinking of you ((())).

Lou Tina Italian Diege TTT Shandy all - glad to catch up with your news. It's all happening! As usual I've spent ages catching up and left no time to send you replies. Typical.

We've swi-ed for Britain this month but I had less EWCM than I usually have (sorry if you're eating) so I'm not sure I've created a very warm/loving place for the little critters. It's preseed next time, I think, just in case. I've become more chilled about ttc, but that's probably because I've got dp moving in in a few weeks time and it's all systems go. He's being very very good.

On a crosser note, I got 'done' for speeding and sent the forms back with a cheque. They replied, returning my cheque and licence, saying I'd not enclosed one of the forms - so they're taking me to court! I can't believe it. I tried my hardest to do things right and they're determined to get me! May Thames Valley Police be dissolved. Come the revolution...

ps - I was doing 35. Not 95. Just in case you were wondering.

Lol we ve tried to see "Warhorse" a couple of times when we have come to London but never got tickets as they only seem to do about 2 shows a week!!! Did you know the film is coming out sometime next year??? X

Hi lovely ladies

Dr Italian you do make me laugh ? ?Doctor of cake? I love it!

Lol I love all your yurt and welly tales. My DP would love to get a RV maybe I could get him glamping

hopeful sending you a hug

1000Fireflies Sorry about your news. I was gutted when I found out my AMH was so low that I?d never have kids of my own ? hence I?m going down donor egg route ? it was such a kick in the teeth and delivered so matter-of-factly by the expensive consultant. I got a second opinion, same result, gently explained and full of hope that donor egg would work for me. Interestingly, my new Doctor said that some Clinics are reluctant to take on the ?risky? people as it lowers their stats. How thoughtless. Maybe you need to see someone else with a better bedside manner.

Hi Gillypops I?m sorry you?re having a tough time. As you can see from my note above, my own fertility was dealt a very conclusive blow recently. But there is so much help out there and I?ve been given so much hope. I can understand your DH?s reluctance to keep trying, is there any way that getting help might in fact take the pressure off? You?d get all sorts of medical support, there are lots of magic people in clinic land who manage to do many wonderful things?

Panashe sorry about you?re result/non-result. Totally not fair.

Hope there?s room for another at the bistro, I?ll join Hippy with the mozzarella salad. Then I?ll have grilled fish of the day followed by a double slice of lemoncello pud.

Lots of love to everyone

xxx

gillyglops all the best, please try hard not to pressurise your DP with times which are the 'right' time! Instead just try and make it all a bit sexier when you want it to be! It sounds sneaky but it is really not. The more the man knows about you wanting or needing him to perform the harder it gets (or rather the reverse - sorry carry on humour coming in there!) Can someone explain the vest and pants/jogging bottoms phases to gillyglops!

lol any news?

Panshe Can I please ask (or am I dumb) is the wedding still on, has it happened etc etc.

Fireflies, hippy, gum, Diege and all, all the best, Hairy, Pocket, Curly, Jolls, Nicole, Tank, Shandy, Tina and Mitzimaybe and baby dust to all.

Angelgeorgie we have started! The next stage will be when I am down regulated and that (Gum) is what the injections are for, to stop my system working. Stage 2 is the build up of the womb lining and then stage 3 is when the embryo/s are trasfered into my hopefully warm and waiting womb! It is all dependant on a lot of factors. So please send up a few arrow prayers for no hitches!

Oh great Italian I ve got my fingers crossed for all stages to go swimmingly. Xx
Where does the weekend go??? So tired now as been cleaning the kitichen today and now it's back to work. Grh!!! Xx

Sorry to hear that things are not great for some of you, apologies for not name checking, however ((((())))) hugs to you all. Welcome gilly. Good to have you back hippy. Anyone heard from bb? Angel & diege where did the time go, your due dates are fast approaching, am so excited for you both as well as Italian . Psst Italian I've asked my DG to say a prayer for us all - she attends church everyday. Can't sleep as worrying about op later today. Dd had a meltdown this evening, she wants to have her teacher from last year for this year too and doesn't want me to stay at the hospital and for me or her Dad to die!! Had Dh teary eyed a couple of days ago, saying he's worried about me having this op - told him I need him to be strong for me. I think it's the recovery that's worrying me, was told by pre admissions nurse about not driving for at least 3 weeks, no hoovering, no lifting buy can lift a half full kettle. I'm booked in for 3 nights but will pop in to keep up.

Good Luck Curly - I'm sure everything will be fine. JUst don't be tempted to do things too quickly!

Pocket, I have also had the Bad news about my AMH and egg reserve. And I did manage to get pregnant twice in the last year, about 6 months apart. However the eggs were obviously duds, so I'm scraping the bottom of the barrel. However, it's not impossible to get pregnant. In your position, I would be going for donor eggs too. I hope that it is all smooth sailing for you.I do think these health professionals could be a bit more caring.
Which reminds me,I have to chase up those pathology results, because my doctor seems incapable of contacting me. I left her message last Thursday, but she hasn't managed to call me back...

Although I am feeling okay about everything, I have to admit to still having a "where's there's life there's hope" type of attitude.I am guilty of allowing my DH to be lazy about discussing contraception (it's not been mentioned), and having the attitude if it's meant to be, then it will...

I have, however, sold all of the little baby clothes, some maternity clothing (I have more to list, but don't really have the energy for it), cloth nappies etc. I still have Charlie's lovely bloom baby chair/rocker. It was very expensive and is beautiful, so I won't part with it. I'll keep it for the grand kids(can't really imagine that right now, but one day...)

Deige and Lou, won't be long and your beautiful babies will be here. It is wonderful.

curly I can't sleep either & am sat having cup of tea downstairs. Dp birthday today so don't want to wake him! I didn't realize how big a procedure it was & I really hope it goes well & you're not too uncomfortable afterwards.

Italian I haven't eloped & the wedding is still on next year hopefully but no date set. I keep putting it off as I keep getting pregnant, but maybe we should just tempt fate & I'll end up walking down the aisle 8 months gone

Hi gum xx

Nothing wrong with getting married while your pregnant, Penashe - I did it, but was only 18 weeks. It was my first, so I hardly looked preggers. If I'd gotten married at that stage with my last pregnancy there'd be no mistaking I was up-duffed!

The only thing that I didn't like about getting married while pregnant was that I was exhausted and I couldn't hop into the champagne as I would have like to.

You might as well just plan it, then no doubt you'll get pregnant and it'll bugger up all your plans.

Curly good luck xx
Hi all . You lot seem to have been busy in the night!!!! I slept but am having the most vivid odd dreams due to pregnancy , that's in between 5-6 visits to the loo!!! Oh, wish I was off work today. So tired. Love to all xxx

good luck Curly and to you also Italian of course - so excited for you!!

Just a quick update - Dr has now sent letter to gynaecology clinic at the hospital requesting I be referred for my lap and dye - he did say he wasn't sure if the NHS would fund more than an investigation however. Am hoping that A. The tubes are actually clear or B. that they unblock anything obvious at the same time they're checking the tubes are clear.
Does make me a little angry though I've paid into the system for years and they go on about funding then other people never pay into it and get whatever they need.

Rant over - have a greta day all - I am off to Turkey next week for 10 nights yeeeehhhhaaaaaa can't wait!

thinking of you today curly, my love.

Has anyone heard from BB - i don't think she's been on here since i came back after my move. Hope you're ok BB.

Gotta dash - we are off to DS2's new school today to register him and buy uniform. Then tomorrow we are off to DS1's big school to buy his blazer. Wednesday is their big day at their new schools - I will be a nervous wreck all day .

DH and I had a good old talk about TTC the other night and we both feel we are a bit too old for all this but we did agree that we wanted to use the last 2 lots of clomid (otherwise it will always bug me - a bit like when you eat half a biscuit, put the other half down and then keep wondering what you forgot to finish) IYSWIM.

So I have started the clomid this month and will use it Sept and Oct. then when i am still not up the duff in November i will go and get the coil put in and banish these painful periods to hell. So for now, i'm very much in the game but not very hopeful.

I know it sounds awful but i feel like I am just trying for another MC - i can't see a pregnancy working out for me. There was a thread on here recently asking about having babies at nearly 46 and one person had said that an obsterition (can't be bothered to work out how to spell that) had told her that he had delivered 2 babies to women over 45 in the last year but alas he had lost count of how many he knew who had had an MC - sorry if that brings everyone in their mid 40s down - perhaps i shouldn't mention it .

But then again we are all honest on this thread about what we are thinking and we all know the odds.

italian keep sticking those needles in or taking those tabs or whatever it is you are up to right now.

lol Please please, can i have the story of how you and DP came to be moving in together after you split? I love a good romance.

Curly you're probably in recovery right now - just wanted to say how much we're all thinking of you and sending you good luck vibes. I'm half-filling the snug kettle for when you need it.

Gum very impressed that you've managed to get the spirit together to sell those baby bits and pieces. When you say you're going to do something, you certainly do it.

Italian isn't it amazing how they can control the womb in that way? I wish we could all have those injections each month, regardless of trying to conceive naturally. It would be so good to know that the lining was the right thickness etc etc.

Tina have a great holiday. Think of us in the rain (but not too hard).Angel I'll do one of your night-time loo visits for you. That's what friends are for .

Hippy hi. It all sounds like so much fun in the Iow. I think your obstetrician is confirming what I already feel I already know and reflects the stats on this thread, to be honest. The graduates are mainly younger, aren't they? Still, I agree with your biscuit theory. That's pretty much where I am too.

Didn't BB say she was wondering whether she should stop contributing to the thread - change/acceptance of circumstances? Or am I imagining it? BB if you're out there...

Hippy Well, dp texted EVERY DAY from South Africa, even though we weren't together, because he knew I would be worried that he was there with Miss Perfectly Eligible and 8 students for 10 days. And he said it was a pleasure because he missed me and I was the one he wanted to tell everything to at the end of the day, which was lovely, and made my holiday in Skyros a joy, rather than a duty. When I got home he was round within the hour to give me a huge hug. We went out for a long walk with the dog and he said that I'd been too nice to him. I should have really bollocked him for the way he behaved and made him feel ashamed of what he was doing
( er...I can hear you all saying 'I told you so' ). He didn't ask to come back - he just started to mend things around the house, then stay for dinner, then the night etc). A few days ago he asked if he could move in at half term . And he wants to try for IVF but says if it doesn't work out we'll DEAL WITH IT. So, hoping things calm down on the relationship front and that we have a really boring time. Never thought I'd say that!

Hippy - good luck to your boys and you for their first day at their new schools. Hope they get off to a great start. FX for your goes with Clomid. I?m sure all that lovely, fresh, clean sea air will help you both too. (Jealous, moi??!)

Tina - couldn?t agree more re how tight the NHS is with fertility, esp when you see how much is spent on fitting gastric bands etc etc. Plus when you compare what we are entitled to vs other countries we really are short changed ie IVF allowed way past 39 elsewhere. BTW, some fertility investigations can be swung on the basis that you need investigations for something else. Eg my lap and dye was to investigate endometriosis, but consultant was able to report on my fertility secondary to this. Have you packed your bikinis yet? If ever there was a summer to inspire you to go abroad, this has to be it! Can I come too?? Maybe we could take the whole snug??

Angel hope you made it through the day!

Have you set the date yet then Panashe??!!

Oh, hopeful - you?ll be a granny before you know it, and you?ll love every moment! At least you have that to look forward too, as well as watching your brood growing up. But, sounds like your DH might still be a tiny little bit into having another one. And you never know.... I don?t think your eggs are that bad. You?re certainly doing better at getting preggers than I am.

Curly- thanks for arranging the prayers for everyone. The NICE guidelines quote a study where IVF patients had more success when they were prayed for!! When I get round to it I?ll ask my local churches if they can do some for us all. I hope you are recovering well from your op and will take it very easy for the next few weeks. How?s DD?

Italian/Dr cake - sending a few extra prayer arrows for you and your donor. Can?t wait for your next update.

Pocket- how are you doing with the DE search? I?ve heard that The Lister has managed to get waiting lists down to 6-9 months which is amazing as I had been told up to 2 years by some places. We definitely have it as a possible option if IVF doesn?t work. In the meantime we have our frosty and awaiting an appointment with the ARGC.

Gosh Lol- I could really do with a pee myself right now. Would you do the honours for me too? I am worth it!!

OMG, I love how DH feels his work is done for this month... I noticed he?s started using the sauna at the gym again and there?s cider in the fridge. Lucky him!!

Hugs to all!! xx

Thanks 1000 yes made it through, though very busy!!!! Your DH sounds like a typical man!!! Don t you realise just how hard they work!!!
Lol thanks for the offer if you were a proper mate you' d do all the night time visits!!!!!!
Hi all xxx
Oh Lol you re love story is very romantic glad alls well that ends well.

Awwww. Bless. He's just asked if he can have a cider. He can do whatever he likes if we ever get a BFP! He can wear the tightest pants and turn the heating up on full and spend all his free time sitting on a radiator then if he likes. Still, at least he's cooking dinner.

Anyone else dare admit to succumbing to Red or Black...?

Yes 1000 though getting a bit bored of it now!! Glad the first 2 won seemed " worthy" causes. Ant and I were praying the unemployed guy who stated would never work( as currently didn t) if he won, wouldn t win. Xxx

lol - lovin' the romance - you just got under his skin didn't ya? Lovely story.

My boys were watching red or black earlier and i could hear them shouting No,No No at the TV - like they were in with a shot at the money themselves.

fireflies at least he asks if he can have a cider - mine is way to fond of lager for my liking Although he says it's not a beer belly it's a chocolate belly and that apparently is all my fault for buying treats - arrgghhh!

lou I'm often up in the night,i'll meet you in the loo for a natter???

curly hope you are recovering ok.

love to all

lolfactor that seems ridiculously unfair of the police to take you to court just for not sending in a form! Hope the judge gives them a rollicking for it!

Pocket1 I'm sorry you got such bad news, but it does sound as though you have lovely medical professionals now who are really positive. DP is very much a blokey type who'd rather stick a fork in his own eyeballs than go to the doctor. It's taken him a long time to agree to get help for his depression, and any talk of getting help for fertility issues is immediately faced with him stubbornly saying he doesn't want to do it. It doesn't even get as far as a discussion, he's so against it, so it's not worth the arguments it would take.

Italian I know you're right, and that's the approach I usually take, or was taking. When DP's depression got to the point of affecting his libido, things got a bit tense as he didn't admit for ages that he was having trouble in that dept, instead he just tried to avoid any intimacy, so there I'd be trying my best to subtly turn up the heat at certain times of the month and getting 'I've got a headache' type responses! His ego was taking a battering because he felt he couldn't perform, and I was getting frustrated at each month's precious opportunity being thrown away. At least now we're talking about it, but my efforts to not put the pressure on means I wait for him to make the first move, so even when I know it's about the time we should be trying, I just have to leave it and wish he was feeling in the mood. You can see why it's easier to decide to just stop hoping!!

Curly, hugs. Hope the op goes well. Can?t believe DD said she wanted you or DH to die, or did she say she didn?t want you to? My DD says some cruel things sometimes! She is 6 but I think kids can be cruel at almost any age! How old is yours? You said ?Psst Italian I've asked my DG to say a prayer for us all - she attends church everyday.? ? Who is DG? Dear Gran? Really every day? Thanks so much.

lol I am so happy you and DP are back together, I was rooting for him, you know!

Hippy Glad you are giving it two more goes, let us know any news. Hope the kids enjoy their new school and keep the old man off the booze ? I mean chocolate!

Panshe totally up to you but if you want to marry him, go for it. Life is too short to dilly dally. If you are not ready then of course dilly and dally all you like! We can have the debate we had about Kate?s dress (Princess Catherine) about your wedding dress. Is this wedding number 1, 2, 3?? Just curious, don?t answer if you don?t want to! Hugs.

Fireflies any news honey? Where is the bit on the Internet about people being prayed for and getting better results?

Tina yes, I agree. Hugs.

Gillyglops I really hope you and DP will work out the problems with his depression. I have never had it but I did have anxiety (panic attacks) years ago and had cognitive behaviour therapy on the NHS (refereed by my GP) and it worked amazingly well. It was great. It may not be for everyone but it worked for me and I wonder if there is anything similar for depression.

Mitzimaybe, Hopefulgum, Pocket, Jolls, Nicole and Shandy - Hugs and baby dust to all.

Hugs to Diege, Hairy, Tank and AngelGeogie.

All fine with me, I am injecting, Hippy, DH injects me every night.

My boss said we need to go a day trip with work next month! I am desperate to get it out of the way so that it is done, I will volunteer to organise so I can control when it is! Sneaky or necessary?!

1000 you're all welcome to come - where I'm going its around 36 degrees at the mo - a little too hot I think but I'll 'suffer' it not sure about the bikini don't want to put anyone off their dinner lol

Italian yes DG is dear Gran and she does go to church 6 days of the week. Dd is 6 years old and said she didn't want me or her Dd to die. Have had op, think it went well as in my heavily seated state I can barely remember what consultant said. Sorry not feeling great so signing off. Love & hugs to you all x x

curly hope you feel better soon. Love to all xxxx