Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Fantastic 40+ thread - part 4

999 replies

hippychick66 · 15/06/2011 20:13

Come on ladies - you know who you are Grin.......

OP posts:
shandybass · 28/07/2011 19:30

Hi all. I'm still checking in and around but sorry I haven't posted. I get a bit frustrated by the iPhone and I've been busy swi. Who knows I'm Cd19 and wondering if we can stop for a breather. I've used up all my opk but still haven't had any positives. Grr. But at least my cycle is longer this time.

gum and bb I would count yourself lucky to have been offered fertility specialist advice. I wasn't and I had the but you've got two dd's give yourself an end date to ttc type advice by my gp. I would go back but unfortunately my dh is of the same opinion.

angel hope you're having better days again. It's funny how things can take you straight back especially smells and sounds. I've had a few people announce being pg and it almost winds me. Mind you the dds are doing my head in every so often and I wonder why I'm ttc at all. Today my dds got hold of my shopping before I put it away and mixed shampoo and conditioner on my carpet.

I was askance at your mil curly and made me wonder my Mum is always on about cutting dd's hair. I snapped back once that when I was little I always wanted longer hair and she was not in charge now. She still comments though but I guess it could be worse.

Hi to hippy. I bet the IOW is fab at the moment. Good luck bb with your 'adventure' too.

Curlylox · 28/07/2011 20:26

Hi shandy glad to hear the reason you've not been around because of lots of swi your using your time productively Wink. Must be something in the air as panashe confused me with hippy and you're confusing me with BB Grin.
Well have been to see gynae/cons his findings were significant scar tissue (due to c-section 1989) ovaries seemed fine from what he could see, tried to separate some of the scar tissue but stopped as he was getting too near bowel etc. Dye ran through left tube but not right he would consider it blocked. I have 3 options, 1 - open surgery to unblock right tube but bear in mind that's a month or two out of ttc, 2 - ivf but bear in mind due to my age not all clinics would assist and 3 - do nothing and just carry on ttc naturally. So what to do???????
This is for Angel ((((((((((((((((((((((()))))))))))))))))))))) x x x x
Hello to all the fantastic 40+ ladies

shandybass · 28/07/2011 21:00

So sorry curly to get you mixed up. I was trying to recall correctly. Sorry about your gyne findings, I think sometimes it may be best to follow my dh's advice and live in naive hope. The surgery sounds a difficult call.

Hi and welcome to hopeless. I'm afraid were all pretty hopeful here mist of the time despite the stats being stacked against us so I hope it rubs off on you.

shandybass · 28/07/2011 21:02

Oops I've got it wrong again your hopefulness so sorry again. Do you think I have baby brain already, perhaps I should test..

AngelGeorgie · 28/07/2011 21:23

Thanks curly mmm... Some serious thinking to do then with regards to what u do next. Any idea? Xxx
Not bad today very tired from work my work is ok it's this " acting up" lark trying to sort all the other stuff out on top!!! Did manage to go swimming this morning before work so did feel a bit better for that. Saw a patient at work today who I've not seen in ages!!! She said I look HUGE asked me if GILS is twins!!! Even our male staff nurses, who are gay , have informed me my boobs are BIG now!!! Thank god it's Friday tomorrow.
Hi all hope you rd all surviving in the heat xxx

shandybass · 28/07/2011 22:16

Rock on Friday angel. I'll be in your position acting up in 3 weeks time. It's taken the shine off being on holidays for 3 weeks when I found out I would be walking in to my managers boots the day I go back. How much longer have you got to do it?

hopefulgum · 29/07/2011 01:46

Hi everyone.
Curly - so sorry to hear about the scar tissue. Were you expecting that news? I don't know what I'd do in your shoes? I suppose I would think about it in terms of what each option offers in terms of chances for a pregnancy. For example - will you get more chances, or a higher % chance of pregnancy if you have the surgery? Will IVF give you a greater chance, and will it cost the earth? And will you feel okay with just carrying on as before? I have heard that women with missing tubes compensate with the other tube swinging over to catch the egg from the tubeless side - but don't know if the same applies for the blocked tube.

I suppose if you have the surgery and it takes two months out of ttc, but gives you more chances for ttc because both tubes work, it might be worth it. It's a difficult decision. ((hugs))

LOL do you have any news on the testing front?

I'm feeling so much better after seeing my acupuncturist yesterday. As soon as the first 5 or 6 needles went in I felt my body relax, which I really needed.

We talked about the miscarriage (it's the first time I've seen her since the mc), and although she doesn't have any answers for me, she did say that we cannot know why the Universe does these things to us, but I should be reassured that it is part of my journey and somehow it will all "fit" in place. She also said that the losses also have made me more compassionate and forces me to live in the present, to feel the grief, which is supposed to be good for me. Maybe one day I'll agree, but for now it feels difficult and unfair. One loss was bad enough, two is horrible - will I have to endure more?

She also said my kidney yin essence is depleted, so I am taking some Chinese Herbal medicine. It should help with all things fertility - EWCM, thickening the endometrium etc. I have been feeling hot and dry, and it should help with that.

I got through my due date - was tough. Wanted to cry a lot, but Charlie didn't like it - it upset him. He'd be by my side in seconds with a tissue, telling me it's "awright". I didn't do anything to mark the day - I wish I had. But my Dh brought flowers home for me. Which was very nice. I'm on the other side of it now, and I survived. But I can't say I feel any better. Still wish I had the baby in my arms.

I'm going to phone my Dr today about the blood tests. I had a letter from the fertility clinic.They want me to fill out pages and pages of information. Which is understandable, but with the section about "previous pregnancies" it only has five places. I need two more spaces!LOL. Don't really look like a fertility clinic patient, do I? Then there was a whole lot of stuff about IVF and treatments and a bit where we both have to sign in front of a witness. It all seems so serious! I just want some advice about miscarriage. I'm in two minds about going. On the one hand I feel like I'll just wait and see what happens - go to acupuncture, take supplements etc...but I did that before, and alas, it didn't work out. On the other hand, this doctor might just have a protocol for miscarriage that works. I have the appointment, and can change my mind, but I reckon I'll go, just to see what he says. I think a dictaphone would be handy, because I'm bound to forget much of what he says.

When you have that kind of appointment, do you make notes while you are there?

AngelGeorgie · 29/07/2011 05:29

Gum yes I have made notes particularly at the meeting with our consultant for the results of Georgies pm. Glad you feel your accunpuncture is helping.
Shandy last day of " acting up" though I feel Gez will walk straight back out on Monday when he sees the amount of notes I ve left him on his desk!!!! I m at another 1 of our clinics on Monday!!!
So tired but my bloody cat woke me up at silly o clock meowing her head off. Of course, she's fast asleep now and I ce got to get ready for the gym and work!!!! Who's the idiot here???? Friday yeh!!!!! Thank god xxx

hopefulgum · 29/07/2011 09:27

OMG you could knock me down with a feather. I just got a (very faint) positive test! We did the deed once in the fertile window. I had a funny twinge yesterday that felt like it might be in the uterus - I thought it was impending AF, and today I felt a bit sick. So, stupidly did a test in the middle of the day, diluted wee, and there was the faintest hint of a squinty line. So I saved my pee for three hours, and have just seen a more clear line. I usually get early bfp's, so I hope it doesn't mean it's a chemical, or will end in miscarriage.

Whatever will be will be, etc. Nothing I can do about it, so I'm going to keep taking the aspirin, my welcome womb herbs and hope for the best. I phoned my dr for test results - I'd really like to know about the progesterone, in case I need it. I suppose I could call her again. I don't want to be a pushy patient, but I guess it is a good reason to phone?

Can't believe it...

hopefulgum · 29/07/2011 09:29

Perhaps I won't have to see the fertility guy?

panashe · 29/07/2011 09:37

Hey Gum that is unbelievable Smile Why not double up on folic acid too it can't do any harm.

Curly I think I'm with Gum on this one and think looking at what is best option for highest chance of conceiving. Maybe the surgery would be easier than IVF and you could give it 6 months after the surgery if you wanted an end to ttc.

lolfactor · 29/07/2011 09:38

Hi all - wasn't it lovely weather yesterday? I actually got my legs out for a change! CD27 this morning - and AF was up before me. Oh well. Tbh, it's a relief 'knowing'. And I'm very proud of myself for having managed not to test and read the depressing bfn box. Xdp now is South Africa with Miss Gorgeous for 2 weeks Sad Before he left, I did make it clear that if there was any interaction with Miss G I would be removing his knackers and using them as a rosary. He winced and seemed to take this on board. He texted from the departure lounge to say how much he is going to miss me and wishing me a great holiday. I'm off to Skyros on that creative writing holiday. I booked it at the same time as the SA school trip, knowing I'd be feeling terrible. How WISE! No dp and no baby Sad. I'm going on my own, and will have to share a room with a complete stranger. They'll be charting with me by the end of the week.

Curly I can see the dilemma. Can't remember how 40+ you are but you're younger than me. I'd unblock then have mini IVF - but that's just me. And it's expensive. I'm trying to find a clinic in this country who'll collect my egg/s each month and save them if they're any good. Some clinics won't bother over 44 and I don't want the drugs to make me produce MORE crummy eggs. Finding the right clinic is proving tricky.

Angel I can understand how that lovely song would do it to you every time. ((()))x.

Gum Any room for a climbing rose in your garden? Each time it flowers, you would see your beautiful precious children. Just a thought.

Shandy will you have TIME to take over from your boss? Wink

Panashe - that MiL story tops them all. Flippin' eck! The audacity of the woman!

Hippy is the sun shining? Are you on the beach?

panashe · 29/07/2011 09:40

Lol rushing now but (((((()))))) to you xx

lolfactor · 29/07/2011 09:42

Cross-posted Gum. Crikey!!!! Fingers and legs crossed for you! x

panashe · 29/07/2011 09:53

P.s. I was in m&s yesterday and saw 2 pregnant women who were def older than me & I had to stop myself from going up to them & asking them how old they were ! I am getting obsessed with it, I was reading article about Jo Whiley (radio 1 dj a while ago) & she is 46 and has 4 kids youngest is 2. There are lots of ladies doing it.

Have fab time lol can't wait for the low down on your room mate !

Diege · 29/07/2011 13:23

Wow Gum that's amazing news Grin. I think you have the right attitude - keep healthy, relaxed as you can, and continue with your supplements. I'm another one who doubled up on folic acid this time (I think it was Alba who suggested it?).
Curly my sister had the op to unblock one of her tubes (something she was born with) after 3 unsuccessful rounds of IVF. I think she waited a couple of months and then was lucky enough to get a bfp. I think she was told that her fertility would be raised too after the op (a little like they say it is after other gynae procedures). Lots to think about though and I appreciate your dilemma x
Lol the creative writing hol will be fab, though did have a chuckle about your roommate and charting. Will you be able to muffle the beep? Grinpanashe loving the door story Grin.
Better dash, dd1's party tomorrow and have to be all domestic-goddess-like and whip up some cakes Hmm while ds has his nap!
Back for the bistro tonight Grin

AngelGeorgie · 29/07/2011 18:00

Wow .Gum. fab news big FX here xxx if u double your folic acid it makes no difference anyhow as your body will excrete whatever is surplus to requirements.what a lovely surprise xx
LOL maybe your room mate will be a strapping , young, fertile god so while your ex is away having fun so can youWink
Hi Panashe yes , us " older" mums are still rocking it !!
Hi .Shandy hope u re ok?
OMG soooo glad it's Friday and the end of the week so tired!!! Work very busy still and incredibly warm off for a shower and lay down.
Hi all love to all xxxx

panashe · 29/07/2011 19:21

Sorry to spoil Friday night, miscarriage number two for me. Heartbroken.

Curlylox · 29/07/2011 19:32

Ahh panashe so sorry Sad

Curlylox · 29/07/2011 19:42

Lol I'm not as young as you think, I'm 44. Ooh will you know beforehand who your room mate will be? Please explain "mini ivf"?
Gum fantastic news, 3rd time lucky lets hope and pray.
Angel you rest my darling, sounds like you've had a week and half......
Diege so how many little angels do you have attending DD's party?
I'm leaning towards the surgery to unblock tube, but just wondering what to tell my boss as don't want to give them a heads up on my plan to have another baby. Cons says I'll need about two weeks off and am not inclined to use my holiday. What can I say I'm having done without too many questions being asked, fibroids perhaps????

lolfactor · 29/07/2011 20:04

Hi Curly - mini IVF - check out the New Hope fertility clinic. www.newhopefertility.com/ Before you ask, no, there isn't one in the UK. The nearest equivalent is Create in Wimbledon/Harley Street. I'm booked in for the 18th August for an initial consultation and scan. I'm still ovulating, my periods are regular and my charts look decent so my hormones are probably fine. I just have 45 year-old eggs. There's probably no point in making me produce 8 ancient eggs a month. My body naturally selects the most viable (apparently). So, instead of giving me loads of hormones to stimulate several follicles, they'll just harvest the single egg each month, screen them, fertilise them and stick them back in. Admittedly, xdp could probably do a pretty good job of fertilising them himself, and if they say this is the case I won't go ahead. I will have had a full scan, though, to check that everything's working ok, and had a repeat of bloods, so I shall feel that I've done all I can. I'm expecting them to try to talk me into a donor egg - and if that's the only option, then I'd like to go for it.

Of course, I AM assuming that xdp will be my dp. All of this is being done on a leap of faith. Eeeek. I'd rather be prepared and disappointed, though, than assume it's over and find it's 'too late' when he comes knocking. I might even get them to freeze a good egg if I have the dosh (and the good egg).

Is it something you might consider?

Curlylox · 29/07/2011 20:31

Intriguing, will have a read of your link but please would you keep me posted re your appointment lol?

AngelGeorgie · 29/07/2011 23:03

Panashe. very sorry xxxx
Curly I m resting!!! Mmm...mini IVF? Interesting I d never heard of it either?
??? Exploratory surgery for ovarian cysts or other " women's" things if your boss is male !!! Xxx

shandybass · 29/07/2011 23:03

Hi so sorry panashe. Are you ok? Its hard to think of anything comforting to say but to say sorry. It's so sad.

gum also thinking of you. I hope you've got a sticky one there.

hopefulgum · 30/07/2011 00:43

Oh Penashe, I'm so sorry. It really is the pits. (((HUGS)))