Fantastic 40+ thread - part 4

[hippychick66]

Come on ladies - you know who you are .......

I can't sleep. When I woke this morning I thought I didn't feel pregnant but told myself not to be silly. In afternoon felt very rough & went for sleep when I woke I had started pink bleeding. It quite quickly turned bright red with clots. Not much cramping yet. I guess I need to go for scan but don't want to.

Dp very upset & cried with me. He gives the best cuddles & didn't let go the rest of the day. I know I'll get through this with him by my side.

Glad you all are here x

Panashe I am so sorry I didn't see your earlier post. I am absolutely gutted for you. Words just can't describe it, can they? I'm so heartened to hear your dp is wrapping you up in his arms and looking after you. Sharing this heartbreak might make you feel really close; it's no consolation for your loss but it will surely help you while you both come to terms with what's happened. Thinking of you ((())) xxx

Panashe'sending you my love xxxx

Panashe so sorry to hear your news - you must be devastated . Thinking of you and dp xxx

Just wanted to drop in and let you all know my joy was short-lived. BFN this morning, temperature drop, so I expect to get AF today or tomorrow.

Feeling disappointed, but this is nothing like having a miscarriage. I just want to get AF over with so I can start using the monitor again to time SWI properly.

Thinking of you Penashe. I hope you can have your "for keeps" baby soon.

Sorry Gum having a CP is shit Isn t it? I felt like I d built myself up to something big and it was nothing, however, it sounds as if you are extremely fertile and your body is latching on to every chance to get pg. Surely, that means it's only a matter of time???? Take care x
Panashe thinking of u x

Gum hope you are ok xx

Thanks Angel, bleeding had stopped last night & I allowed myself to get hopes up, but it has resumed this morning with more clots.

Yesterday was such a strange day. My dd is travelling (unexpectedly) abroad on thursday and her passport expired in June. I had an appointment with her in liverpool passport office for 9.30am ! Had planned to take other dc & go shopping during the 4 hour wait. Dp was working & I had no choice but to take her. I had rung Friday to try to rearrange and I was in tears on the phone, the poor woman must have wondered what had happened. But they had nothing early part of this week.

So we went, I had told dc about pregnancy because symptoms so bad couldn't cook or eat. So consequently told them about mc. They were so sweet, dd propped me up when feeling faint in passport office. Then we went & had breakfast, sat in the sunshine it was lovely with the three of them (oldest was still in bed after night out). They went off shopping & kept coming back to check on me. Got the passport & 7 hours after leaving the house I climbed back into bed. I wouldn't reccomend it on first day of mc but it was strangely distracting.

Today I am still in bed & intend to rest all day. I know one or two of you might identify with this, especially Lol ( who is hopefully having fab break ) but I worry I won't be able to give dp a much wanted baby. He says that a baby is an added bonus, & what is important is our love for each other. I do feel closer to him though after all worries a couple of months ago. His insecurities stemmed from thinking I would run off with some rich sugar daddy. He is nurse & doesn't drive flashy car, have loads of money etc etc like my ex bf and ex dh.

My boobs are still big & sore

Sorry for the me post

Go for nurses I say Panashe can t meet a better type of person!!! But then I am slightly biased , being 1 myself!!!!
Rest up xxx

I agree Angel which is why ex bf & ex dh are exs

He he xx

hello all. Panashe so sorry about your mc. I haven't gone for a scan yet, but know I need to. it's shit isn't it? gum really sorry your joy was shortlived too.

I don't have much to say. have rowed with dh and he is at his mums. i don't know if I want him back tbh and too actually.

No idea what is happening re my cycle either - no temp rise, so i think it is an ovulatory cycle, but probably need to get a scan to check whats happening. have started bleeding slightly again so hoping af is on its way.

Had a lovely day in the sun with the dcs today. v nice. am starting to think I should and can be happy with my lot.

Oh Beattie, I'm sorry to hear about rowing with your DH. Glad you had a lovely day in the sun with the DCs.

Like you, I am starting to think I should and can be happy with my lot.

The last four days have been awful. All this uncertainty with dodgy tests/chemical pregnancy (still no AF and temp above cover line), without saying a word to DH about it, peeing on several sticks, wasting money on them, not being able to concentrate on anything else....anyway, was watching my youngest play yesterday and thought, "He really is a little miracle, one I never thought I'd have, maybe I should be content with that".

So why do I still want another one? It's so stupid and illogical... and time consuming. And difficult.

Angel and Penashe, I have the pleasure of having a best friend who is a nurse, a SIL and two nieces. They are all so lovely.

If anyone is into charting, would you please look at my chart: I'm not sure if FF got my O day right, but I don't even feel like I did O - but I have had high temps, anyway, here it is:www.fertilityfriend.com/home/186327

Oh Gum I'm so sorry to hear your news . I do really think that, with your fertility rate, that you'll get there in the end but agree that what looks quite posiitive 'on paper' feels very different when you're experie4ncing for yourself. I'm no charting expert but I did chart this time round and looking at your chart it may well be the case that ff has estimated your ovulation date a few days earlier than it actually happened? I'd say looking at the temps now that the chart looks quite a similar one to your January chart. Don't make any decisions just yet xxx
BB row sounds tough - been there and some. Not the best time to be making decisions about ttc; must be hard being in new house too xxx
First day of school hols here and taking dds to a park for picnic with a friend and her dcs. Should be good fun as long as the weather stays dry.
Sorry for all the bad news/sadness here at the moment. We do have it tough on this thread but what great support too.

Again sorry for absence but since MN changed their website I can't post from a smart phone and we have been away at bil's wedding
panashe hang in there, I am so sorry you have to go through this ...
Gum as you know I did temp once but found it hard to cope with having to face the thermometer every morning so I am not much help but I think it is progesterone that makes you 'warm' after ovulation so maybe if you want to carry on it is worth looking into that ....on the bright side if you got a positive chances are you ovulated which isn't bad straight after a mc
BB sorry you have been rowing you have had to go through a huge upheaval recently ......moving and miscarrying together is never going to be good, any chance you can get away for a break or just get off the 'life merry-go-round' for a bit even if its only for a day or two ?
oh and I can honestly say I have never met a nasty nurse...doctor! yes and many many "look at my flash car big wallet shallow personality" successful pleased with themselves men
Today it is CD32 have no idea when or if o happened best guess CD16 have been gently cramping since CD22 I thought the witch was on her way Sat evening...at the wedding ( I just love the timing !) so obviously got plastered with the rest of the family ! but I am still waiting ......and no I will not pos cos it makes me feel stupid every time ....what do you think ?

BB hope you are ok. Everything can seem so overwhelming sometimes. Try just to take a day at a time and not think ahead too much...about dh, tcc or whether you will stay in London etc etc Sometimes the answers come when you're not thinking about it. The children are a great distraction & I'm glad you spent a nice day with yours. My dc are being wonderful, & giving me lots of hugs. My 12 year old ds said to me last night that he couldn't have wished for a better mum

Gum thinking about you. How old were you when you had your youngest ? I woke at 5am thinking what am I doing wanting a baby at almost 42 !!! But I do and will carry on for at least another year.

Isaboo how long are your cycles normally ? If you can hold out and not poas good on you, but if you did at least you'd know one way or the other. I think we should all put our ages after our names I can never remember how old anyone is, sorry Isaboo how old are you ?

How you feeling Diege ? It is cloudy here & not really picnic weather. The Tate last week was fab, we had gone to a Magrittte exhibition, but they had so much other stuff there..Picasso, Salvador Dali, andy Warhol. It was less busy than London too.

Hope Italian is having some chill time. Hippy you struggling with Internet in IOW hope you and family are ok

Hello everyone else

43 years old and generally 28 days on the dot but a couple have been strange since mc .....oh and I have the usual bucket load of stupid winding me up further symptoms
panashe good too hear you upbeat and completely understand the middle of the night question .....mine usually goes "do I really want this at this stage in life or is it more an unwillingness to give up " I usually come to the conclusion it would be fantastic for all of us especially dc's as I was an only child and I truly believe you cannot have too many siblings.
I know I must test at some point but will wait a bit longer yet maybe save myself a fiver

Does anyone mind if I join the thread? I'm 43 (44 in September) and would like to conceive my first child, now that I've finally found the right fella - who knew he'd make me wait so long?! Mind you, given that he's just turned 30, I guess I had to wait for him to grow up!

I've been 'averagely' trying for the last 4-5 months, but know I need to do these things properly given my age and general lack of fitness etc.

I hope you don't mind me barging in, but being this old and trying to conceive your first child is a bloomin' lonely business - I swear my doctor thinks I'm a freak and, given that I have bipolar disorder, I'm just waiting for him to make some smart-arse comment about the state of my mental health - which is just fine so he'd better watch his step! :)

BB and Panashe so sorry to read about your losses
BB sounds like you are having a generally crap time too - it doesn't seem that long ago that you were having such a good time in Vietnam - hope all the crap are blips that sort themselves out soon...
Gum so sorry - that's just crap

Madeleine is 22 days today, and finally made her birth weight - we had a tongue tie and a big early loss to deal with, so a relief to get the bf established properly at last. She's gorgeous - looks like her Dad and her big sister.

Despite her geriatric mother, birth went swimmingly. Here's the birth story..... Was booked for an elcs on the Tuesday, but went into labour on the Saturday before. Went to the labour ward, as instructed by the hysterical consultant who thought I was so old, and they examined me and told me I wasn't in labour and my cervix wasn't even favourable(??) and that I had an irritiable uterus not proper contractions. Got back home, feeling a total fraud at 9pm - had a bath... felt I must be pathetic to need to breathe through non-progressive contractions..

At 11pm, passed a bit of blood (show I think) and called my own IM, who decided to come out to me. Thought I was coping badly with what I assumed might be early (latent) labour, and got out my tens machine. Then I started to shake - remember thinking this is awful like trasnition... but... I can't be... 12 midnight, my waters broke... and I thought on no - premature rupture of membranes. 12.15 my midwife arrived, adn the first thing I asked her was "am I in labour". I was 9 cm dillated. 4 min second stage, and Madeleine was delivered in 1 push, 35 minutes later... whoooshh... I was so shocked - the first thing I said to her was "I've had a baybeee"

Had a physiological third stage... we all had a good prod of my ancient, supposedly failing placental and it looked fine. Didn't cut the cord until after the placenta was delivered. 1 small tear, didn't need stiches. It was a dream compared to my first birth anyway..

So there you go... can be done - even at the decrepid age of 41.

Glad to see Diege and Angel bubs are still fine

Just wondering if I should have another now?

Hippy where are you?!

Italian hang in there Mrs! Nearly there now xx

Brilliant news TTT lovely. Well done u was thinking of you the other day and meant to ask after u . Huge congrats
Xxxxx
Hi decrepidold welcome xx

Oh sorry I ce now insulted you!!! Long day at work!! Meant desperateoldie not decrepid!!! Think that describes me!!!

Hahahaha...nah, decrepit kinda fits too! :o

Welcome desperateoldie67

WelcomeDesperateoldie. Don't let your Doc tell you that you are too old. You are not.

Isaboo - I was 41 when I had Charlie - just 3 months shy of my 42nd birthday, with absolutely no problems at all.

After these two miscarriages, and now possibly a chemical pregnancy, I feel that 42 is positively young! I would love to be 40 again ttc.

Still, I don't know that I will give up trying. Perhaps I need to change my approach, and try to focus my energies into something else, whilst still being proactive. I just find I get so involved in all of it - the research, supplements, charting, etc. I'm definitely a control freak, and that's how I tackle anything that is important to me.

Anyway, today my temperature has gone down a bit, so maybe AF will be here tomorrow? I actually hope it isn't today because I have a really long day ahead of me. I'm not used to working outside of home (been on Mat leave for 3 years) but today I have to work, plus do 2 extra hours after work, and also fit in a doctor's appointment before work. Which means leaving home at 7.30. It is probably just a normal day for some of you, but this is really out of the ordinary for poor pampered me!

The doctor called yesterday when I was out, to get me into the surgery to discuss test results. I wondered why, because when I called the doctor's office on Friday the receptionist said"your results are normal, otherwise the doctor would have called you". I suppose what that really means is the receptionist had no idea of my results? It may also be that she (the doc) finally has the pathology results from the miscarriage. I'll find out soon enough. I hope whatever it is doesn't make me cry, because I have to go straight into work afterwards.

Lovely to hear from you TTT - so glad your gorgeous girl is doing so well.

Congratulations on your beautiful daughter TTT. Mind you, the more I hear about people involved with the hospital side of labour, the less I want to have to go there (should I get pregnant) when I have to give birth! I think I'd rather be at home. They sound incompetent! Eeek.

Thanks for the welcomes ladies. I'm so sorry for the losses you ladies have suffered. As I've not really been fully trying, and this is my first time of doing so, I've not been through a mc so I can't say I understand how you feel, but I can certainly empathise with you. I can't begin to imagine how awful it must be.

Look forward to getting to know you all a bit better :)

Desperate there are also brilliant staff working oin the NHS and some doctors, nurses and midwives are fabulous. Like in any profession theres good and bad and ad someone working in the NHS I m afraid
most of the problems come from too many people using the service sometimes not for approriate reasons and not enough funds going in to it!!! X
Hi all not posting much as knacked work mega busy, way too hot too many long days. GILS fine feeling movement now, not kicking but never did with Georgie but flutters and ." farty" movements!!!! Xx
Is Hippy still AWOL in the Isle of Wight???? Love to all xcx