Fantastic 40+ thread - part 4

[hippychick66]

Come on ladies - you know who you are .......

italian thank you. Haven't read the link yet but will take a look.

panashe I have family like that too - who like to know what I want to eat in advance but I am also a bit like - whatever you want! - I can't plan in advance at all - hence the no packing yet thing

Started watching the sextupets programme. They were born recently in Abingdon. She took clomid . BB is yours a clomid pregnancy???? Just a thought

Waves at everyone...

BB glad things are looking good.
Hairy oh fantastic news... I think this is your first too - how exciting!

Apologies for the me, me, me post... We have been having a bit of week. Went to hosp last Sat - I was having a paranoid moment and thought Fidget wasn't fidgeting enuf. Then the mw decided my bump was small and recommended a growth scan (which I didn't really believe as bump has grown consistently). So Tuesday, got a good result - est 7 pounds... and then they went BUT your amnio fluid is a bit low, you need to see the Registrar.

So the Registrar goes, you're ancient - I want to induce you tomorrow. Remember I am patholigically allergic to hosp. My MW think this is ott as you can apparently get fluid up by drinking water... So back yesterday to see the consultant for a gruelling 2 hour meeting (!!) - who says, not so bothered about the amnio fluid level, agrees it may be inaccurate - but thinks the main issue is I AM SO OLD (41 last April) and we ought to be getting this baby out before my ancient body stops the placenta working. He mentions the still-birth rate a lot - though he says there isn't any research to say how much higher it is for old biddies, but it is HIGHER....

We started anxious - so by now we are terrfied. Then he adds that my labour is high risk and I need to be in hosp not home - and continuously monitored. I think this sounds awful - and say no way. In the end we settle on a compromise of an e-section next week - I reckon this is better than a failed induction/epidural/emergency section. I know that won't necessarily happen, but there is a good chance! The risk of a still-birth is about 1 in 3,000 at term (but apparently higher for us oldies, though he can't say how high). I think the risk of a maternal death with a section is about 1 in 2,500 (though maybe lower with an elective) - so it seems a mad decision. But there you go...

I can't help wondering if I will regret a section - and what effect it will have on future fertility - irl people keep going future fertility FFS Susan - but I thought you lot might understand (apologies if this is in poor taste to mention this here, but I have been pondering whether I would ttc again or not). On the up side, an elective section is very safe for the baby - and this is a priority for me. I know this is what you've got lined up Lou and I totally get where you're coming from.

Anyway, do I get a (boobie) prize for posting so lenghtyily on childbirth on a conception thread... having totally missed out pregnancy

Hope everyone else is doing ok. x

Oh my goodness TTT what a week you've had of it!! I was surprised to hear that being 41 is necessarily a risk factor if the pregnancy has been pretty normal - you're not overdue are you? . Anyway, re: c-sections and fertility, I can assure you (as Dr. Google) that sections have no effect on future fertility, esp an elective one. I know with mine (emergency) the risks were slightly higher, but that was specific to my situation, so for you it would be a non-issue. I bet you feel excited/nervous/scared all in one! I would say as an aside that (as you know) consultants etc do tend up ramp up the risk thing as you get to term, and often changes to fluid etc are pretty normal at the end of a pregnancy. I had the opposite at 39 weeks of being declared large for dates, with severe polyhydramnios, neither of which were ever 'proven'. I remember how stressed I felt though. Let us know how you get on!!
Hippy best of luck with the address hunting - hoping for must (sp?)-free houses for you!
BB agree with how lovely a bit of solitude can be - have a night away for work in Cardiff next week and really looking forward to it . How are you feeling health-wise? Great on last test 2-3 wks
Italian I have to say I am warming to your Tom , though still too 'nice' to win I say.
Panashe how are things? Good that dp is pleased. How are you feeling?
Lou hope all is well. No more scans here, unless they pick up 'growth issues' like last time. Pretty happy with that!
Have finished first 50 scripts, ready for post office - only 160 left!!!

TTT bloody he'll you must be knackered with all this going on. Glad you ve come to some sort of compromise. You have to do totally and utterly whatever you re comfortable with, my consultant doesn t think my age (40) is a problem at all and when I first mentioned it , after Georgie, she was like. " it means very little to you re 45 or so dont worry get on with it" . Hope
Fidget arrives before your section and with as little fuss as possible!!!
Hi Diege glad you re ok, don t work too hard. Hi all hope alls well? Quick note as just home from work need shower, food and bed!!! Xx

Hi all
panache and hairy big Congrats.
ttt I'm really surprised your consultant is stressing you out. I'm sure it would all be fine if they didn't put all these worries into your head. I guess they're thinking reduce the risk as much as possible.
diege and Lou and bb please take it easy, you are carrying previous cargo.
gum how are you doing? ((((big hugs)))))
hi to curly chocolate mitzy and anyone I've missed.

I haven't posted for a while as I got fed up of silly iphone losing my post. And I went on a superbly relaxing recharging girlie weekend break last weekend. It was absolutely heavenly. I am feeling so much happier with my life in general.

Having said that I'm still on a mission ttc but am trying to think of it as something that will happen eventually. Well that's my thoughts at the moment anyway. I have however just purchased of some pre seed as I rarely see any sign of ewcm and when I did I conceived last time. So I'm hoping pre seed may do the deed. Fx

Oops I meant 'precious' cargo not previous??

Hi guys, thought I'd drop in and keep my place.

Thinking of you Tank. In some ways I wish the medical profession would just leave you alone, but on the other hand, I suppose they just want to give you the best possible outcome.

Lou - hope all is well for you. How many weeks are you now?

Penashe - I'm so glad you DP is happy. I really hope it all goes smoothly for you.

I've had a shocking couple of days - just been really sad. Also DH and I had the talk, and it didn't go well(that's an understatement). However we've hashed it out today and we've come to the decision that we will wait for the test results and then talk some more. At least, this time around, I feel that we have got it all out in the open, and maybe, just maybe, there is a take home baby in our future.At least we may be able to try for it.

Luckily a dear friend took Charlie today - so at least we've had some time to talk without a toddler around.

I'll be back later to see how everyone is going.

Hello all

gum thinking of you, this is a hard time physically and emotionally. How long will you be waiting for the test results ?

Hi Tank am also concerned that the registrar thinks your age is the main issue Maybe things will start naturally before you go in.

I am ok, got a very bad headache this morning which made me feel very sick, struggled to get kids to school but am sat in bed now My cold has gone on to my chest and I'm full of catarrh which is also making me feel very sick and my asthma is bad.

My boobs are sore and sorry to bring up again but nipple tweaking off the menu for dp

Had a few talks with dp and feel we have cleared the air.

Trying not to get excited.

Just de-lurking briefly to offer a big hug to gum , big congrats to hairy, hope it's very uneventful , and to say to tank your post struck a chord with me, DS1 was borderline low fluid at term, definitely low at 2 weeks over and I was told I was high risk and induced. No lovely homebirth. I was, at the time, petrified. But induction was ok. One pessary and contractions started a few hours later, I was abandoned on the ante natal ward as they were short staffed so spent an ok afternoon labouring in the bath (most private place we could find! Feel a teeny bit bad about hogging it for 3 hours...) but then for last bit on delivery suite had the monitoring. But, I could move a bit and did deliver on my knees not lying on my back (though DH had to insist...) and overall it was ok. But the placenta looked pretty ropey and DS was skinny and very dry so it was good they got him out when they did (but I was 2 weeks over and certain of dates). AFI was 5 cm at term, which is borderline. At delivery it was a lot less and there wasn't much left at all. And scan at term they said 7 lb. He was less than 6... A good midwife can tell size much better by feel. Having read up on it (was worried this time) the high risk was essentially that baby may not react well when contractions start therefore chance of emergency section, and the most likely reason for low fluid is placental insufficiency.
I was nearly 39 btw, and they didn't insist on induction till two weeks over.
This time all was fine, so needn't be a repeat issue if you go for it again, and I did get my lovely relaxed homebirth.
So based on my own experience, induction needn't be too bad. Insist on a rescan and second opinion too, registrars can be a little nervy, I had consultant this time who after a few growth scans told me I was boringly normal and refused to induce at due date, and wished me a lovely homebirth. Only risk factor was my age and in the absence of any other indications that made no difference.

Oh, and if you can find a doula in the next few days to go with you if you do decide induction worth a try, that could help with hospital phobia, someone who you've chosen to be there for you, all the time, to reduce your worries. If you need contacts, Lia66 is on all the doula forums. It's not too late to reflect and change your mind if you want to.

I've waffled too much. All the very best with what you decide and very exciting you'll meet fidget soon (oh, and despite all high risk issues with DS1 he was absolutely fine and thrived from day 1 despite being small. He sure isn't now!). Best of luck x

Penashe-I don't know how long til we get the results from pathology (for the baby). I phoned the Dr's surgery yesterday and was told my Dr would phone today, but she didn't. I have an appointment on the 25th, but I think the results will be in before then, but I don't know if she'll call with them. I'm not sure I want to wait til the appointment, so will call her next week.

I just don't know how the results will make me feel. If the baby was "normal", then I will wonder why I miscarried - but at least I can have blood tests to rule out a few things. But does that mean if the results say there was a chromosomal issue, then there's no need for blood tests? I suppose that's a question for the Dr.

I read today that someone who had recurrent miscarriages at 8 weeks learnt it was due to not enough progesterone. I would have thought low progesterone would show up as a problem earlier - with spotting? I'd hate to think that could be the issue - so simply fixed. My Dr mentioned that she didn't think it was a progesterone problem, but I'd like to be tested for it. Is that supposed to be on day 21, or 7 days after ovulation? Which means I will have to start temping again.

Waves hello to Alba, don't just lurk please post more often, it's good to hear from you.
Gum big huge ((()))))
Hippy waiting to hear good news re viewings of school and homes.
TTT the worry is never ending is it? You're "ancient" at only just 41!!!
Panashe hope you feel better soon and good to hear you and dp have sorted things out.
Diege hope you get through the 160 scripts quickly, where/when do you find the time to do them?
BB good to hear things are looking good, am slightly at your half hour commute to work. However used to have that when I lived in London too. When are you getting broadband set up at home, we're missing you?
Lou how goes it?
Shandy you're relaxing girlie weekend sounds like it just the ticket to help get you back on form.
Italian where are you my dear?
Waves hello to anyone I may have missed.
Lap and dye went ok. Consultant came by to see me but was drugged up with codeine and morphine. This is what I remembered him saying - significant scar tissue on uterus (from c-section 1989), flushed through dye ran out of left tube but not right. Dh was with me but cannot clarify anything more than what I heard, the word useless comes to my mind. I'm trying not to worry too much as have googled scar tissue apparently this is common and the fact I have fallen pregnant twice since then. Regarding my tubes I'll hang fire until I see him on the 28th July, wish it was sooner but he's away on holiday. Still feeling a little sore but ok. Feeling a little excited because read that a bfp is "more likely" after a lap and dye but no there are no statistics to prove this.
Found a couple of interesting articles, what are your thoughts:
www.thisislondon.co.uk/standard/article-23967278-test-that-could-stop-250000-endinng-in-miscarriage.do
www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2009628/IVF-great-lie-fertility-40s-.html

Hi all
Curly glad you re lap went well and you re feeling a little hopeful now x
Hippy hope u re packing and today is productive x
TTT much love to you xxxx
Panashe wonderful news about you and your parnter hopefully, you ll be totally on track again soon. X
Gum glad you ve had the " talk" and hope you re recovering as you can . X
Alba hi nice to see you . X
Hi Shandy hope you re ok ? X
Much love to all: italian, Mitzi and Lol hope you re all well???
I m fine just finished work for a week. Off to the Lake District with family tomorrow for a few days really looking foreward to it. All fine here still trying to persuade Ant to get a new cat GILS fine next scan in 10 days time. Oh hi Diege xx forgot who asked?? I m 23 weeks today ... Xxx

gum I am convinced that my problem has been low progesterone. I did have the test - it came back at 32 (whatever) and that was considered to be fine. However I googled and it was at the low end of fine. I did have very light periods too but not at the time of my last mc. In the end I spoke to the dr about it and took progesterone. She said that she advises everyone to take it and that it (like everything else!) declines after 40. I hadn't realised this. I have taken it this month and fell pregnant. I do think that on other months I was nearly pg (i.e. got as far as fertilisation but not implantation) due to drop of temps/spotting/cramping etc and I think that the reason I failed to get pg for months was that I didn't have enough progesterone. I also think this is why I mc'ed last time. Of course there is no scientific reason for believing this and I may still mc this time even though I'm taking it. Having said that there are no medical side effects from taking it and it doesn't harm at all.

Sorry about the essay!

curly glad the lap and dye went ok.

tank sorry you have to go through a c section. Is there a chance that things could happen naturally for you before then?

hippy hope the househunting went well for you.

panashe what would your due date be if everything goes ahead fine? (mine would be 27th Feb apparently!).

I am convinced I'm not pregnant actually - apart from massively inflated boobs I don't feel very pregnant. Time will tell though - I normally start to feel sick in week 7 which is next week...

Thanks to all... still hoping I go into natural labour - have been out eating curry tonight... not a twinge... but C was 12 days over dates... so maybe nowt will happen before Tues. I think the worst things is not really feeling sure that a c-section is the right move... am so undecided... having changed my mind zillions of times this afternoon alone... I could just say bollocks to your advice - I'm take my chances and wait for baby to come at home... but ...... well, you all know the buts....

Alba thanks for your reply - I already have an independent midwife - she was there for my first birth, and has supported me through DD's death, my ttc tribulations and pg. So I definitely couldn't be any better supported. I'm not keen on induction per se... I suppose my main worry is that the pessaries wouldn't be enuf to get me started and that I would end up with a drip. Also the consultant, for no reason other than my age - and my AFI (which was 4.2) thinks I am high risk and would require continuous montioring - which would basically mean being strapped to a bed throughout labour..

Gum I hope you get some answers. Think it is very positive that you're sorting stuff out with DH - hope that will make decision about trying again easier this time xx

Lou how are you doing?

BB fingers crossed for you x

waves at everyone... (and throws another log on the fire) Unbeleivably we have the heating on up here!

Hello.

I'm just popping by to say that I have had a low risk nt scan. Nuchal translucency measuring 1.37 at 13 weeks today and nose bone us present. Feeling mightily relieved and wanting to share the news with my fellow feisty oldies. Waiting for bloods to come back.

Fantastic news hairy, that's so great.

bb I'm off to get progesterone, shame I've got to go to the doctor, which I am crap at I'll just go all meek at the docs and go yes no yes I'm fine.

I'm a bit worried what's happening with my body I'm on cd10 and started streaky spotting again and wondering if there's still debris up there after my medical treatment from the mmc.

Just to cheer me up more we booked our summer hols today after much research and was feeling very excited until my sister said she and her family had been to the same camp and it was awful and had nothing good to say about it. Great from joy to tears again.

I'm on the vino, forget the food tonight.

Hi TTT I m fine, thanks..hope something happens before u need a section, enjoy your curry. It's cold up North though we ve not got our heating on!!!
Hi Shandy enjoy your wine, your holiday may be fine I know your sister didn t enjoy it but everyone has different experiences.
Hi BB glad to here you re plodding on hope your nausea kicks in with s venegance. Love to all xxxx

BB, when I talked to my Doc, she said she had a meeting with some specialist fertility doctors about progesterone, because she had had 5 patients miscarry in one week(blimey!How depressing for her). She told me the specialists said there's no point in just prescribing progesterone, even though they do it for IVF patients. She said she worries that it may have side effects (for the baby) that we don't know about. I just don't agree with her on this one. I think it actually saves many pregnancies, and Drs will say it's (your level)okay, even when it is the low side of "ok", which can be not enough.

I'm going to consult my favourite book by Randine Lewis - The Infertility Cure- and see what she has to say about it. I'm back on the Maca smoothies - that's supposed to help with progesterone and hormone balance.

It all remains to be seen, and I'm starting to feel impatient!

Hairy - I am so pleased to hear your good news. If you have a minute, can you remind me how old you are? And did you do anything differently this time around?

Shandy I second what Lou says - everyone has different expectations - perhaps it's all about attitude? Unless of course you are going to Fawlty Towers - that would be shit!

Hi guys, just watching One born every minute USA ? someone wants to call their baby girl London!

TTT hugs to you. Whatever you decide to do will, I feel sure, work out. You seem to have really looked into it all and I am very hopeful all will go well. Just for the record I had a C-section and it worked out OK. You can decide what is best for you. I know you are not comfortable in hospitals, at the end of the day it is your decision, I just wish you all the best.

Curley thanks for asking after me. Glad lap and dye went well.

panache how?s it going?

Hippy any news?

Lol any news?

Diege* I stick to my original prediction, it will be Susan but of course I?d love it to be Tom. If I were Alan I would get them both, Tom to design stuff and Susan to sell it!

Wow, found this interesting site www.mothersover40.com/celebrities.html Can?t necessarily recommend it all but loved the pictures of celebs having babies in their 40s.

No news for us, still waiting! I feel both anxious, excited, relaxed, hopeful!! Just add an adjective!
Hugs to all.

What is with the wizard stuff, it's not Halloween yet! [hsmile]

Italian take it you are on about the "Apprentice" ??? I like Tom too bit like a " mad professor" with his wild hair!! I think he ll go next week I can t bear Susan ; whinging and bleating all the time. I
Think Helen will win she's excellent.
Hi all why at weekends are u always awake at stupid o clock?? I so wanted a lie in I m knackered. Xxx

Hello

I think Lord Sugar has a soft spot for Tom !

I have another headache. Woke about 4am with it. They are verging on migraines & making me feel very sick.

beattie if it is to be my due date would be 15th march which is an eternity away !!

Hi hopeful. I'm forty three. Had three mc last year.

I have taken it super easy this time and been ultra careful. No exercise at all. Sex only twice since bfp.

Didn't scan til 8 weeks, and then privately, then again at 12 privately. Have completely avoided Epu. And only booked in after 12 week scan was ok.

I had my recurrent mc results (which showed no cause) three days after a bfp.

I also did a short mindfulness meditation course when we were trying. I found out the karmic theory on miscarriage and I positively affirmed that "my body, mind and life are ready for this baby".

I learned to reduce my worrying and I learned to manage my anxiety better. And I got over the guilt and grief I was still carrying for my ex (I had carried it a long time - very complicated and unpleasant).

I dont know if any if that made a difference.

I'm far from out of the woods . But taking things a stage at a time.

"today I am pregnant"

Ps I realise I sound like a hippie

Hairy - thanks for that. I don't mind if you sound like a hippy. I've always been a bit of a hippy myself.

One thing I hadn't thought of was the karmic theory on miscarriage. I'd love to know more. How did you find out about it? I've googled, but haven't found much that I understand.

Do the wizard smilies have something to do with the new Harry Potter movie?

Yes - I think these [hsmile] are for Harry Potter's last movie.

i heard my name mentioned so came running...

TT good luck with everything - i hope it is the right decision for you and fidget - am horrified to hear you are ancient - OMG what the F am I then???

with DS1 I was running out of fluid and they did a scan and guessed he would be about 7 pounds - next day he arrived and was 9.5 pounds !!! Just thought i'd mention that

We have an address in the IOW . And we visited a primary school which was so fab even DS2 wants to go there (he hates school!!) They were really knowledable about his dyslexia and DH and I both had a good feeling about it. The property we have chosen to rent is 2 mins away from the school. So I am feeling a lot happier about the move now.

A really weird thing happened on the TTC front this month. I got the 2 lines on an OPK and assumed I'd ov'd last week-end but I checked a couple of times and my temp seemed too low. Anyway on Thursday I had eggwhites and felt like I was about to ov. I thought ... and on friday i did an opk and got the two lines again. So I have been SWI. i think it's like Toni's bible where she says your body may gear up to ov but somethng stops it (in this case the stress of having no address maybe). And then your body tries again a while later. That has never happened to me before. I was quite impressed with how in tune with my body I am cos I just knew I hadn't ov'd when I was meant to have. My boobs just weren't telling me that i had .

Lucky I checked my temp though cos I will be 1 week late this month and would have been very confused and excited.

love to all.

ps. gum in my recurrent MC book it says that the most common cause of MC is chromosones and progesterone will simply stop or delay a natural MC - having said that it does seem to make a difference to some people. Confusing isn't it??

Angelgeorgie how you doing, honey? The Apprentice ? sadly, I do feel Helen's card is marked after her disastrous sell to retail decision. I think if it were her or Tom Lord Sugar would keep Tom! If that were the case it would mean the terrible Natasha would be in the final 4! I think there are only 2 more episodes so I wonder how they will do the final task!

Hope all is well with you, Angelgeorgie

Well done hippy.

Hugs to gum.

TTT hope you are coping with the anxieties OK, all perfectly understandable and hopefully some nice people are being good at the hospital.

Hairy HUGS and KISSES again.

Diege, extremelychocolateymilkroll, Bollocks2u, Nicole, Panshe, spottysox, Curley, Shandy, BB and Mitzimaybe, and all, all the best, to you all.

I feel reasonable content at the moment, very blessed to have my lovely DD and grateful for that. Still hoping to give her a sib but time will tell. Saw a friend/acquaintance today who has fostered two adorable girls and finally thought well if this fertility lark doesn?t work out I will go for fostering or adoption, suddenly feel a lot calmer. A lot less like it is or all or nothing with the treatment and a lot more able to take what comes. No idea where this is coming from, maybe because the sun is shining!

Love and calm to all.