Freak Out Room For Those Newly Updiffed After M/C Part VII

[Blackkat]

Just found out you are pregnant after a previous miscarriage and too nervous to move over the to pregnancy boards? Freaking out about spotting, cramping, symptoms (or lack there of) and nervously awaiting your first scan? Here is a lovely place for lot's of support, hand holding and problem sharing.

Courtesy of owlbooty here are the Ten Commandments of the Freak Out Room.

1. Thou shalt check thy knickers to the point of insanity until the baby actually arrives.
2. Thou shalt also check the loo roll post-wipeage (sorry, gross, I know)
3. Thou shalt bore thy physician and midwife to tears with the mentalling.
4. And thy husband/boyfriend/family/neighbour's cat.
5. Thou shalt obsess over the absence of symptoms.
6. And the presence of symptoms.
7. And the fluctuation of symptoms.
8. Thou shalt pee on a vast number of sticks and keep ClearBlue and First Response in business.
9. The day before any scan extreme mentalling is permitted without recourse to the Haddock.

10. Self-diagnosis with Dr Google is Forbidden.

The Haddock will be applied liberally to all transgressors.

See here for the previous thread

Just had a call from the hospital - my nuchal results have come back as 1:20. Going in tonight to speak to the head midwife. Numb at the moment and not really sure what to do.

Hi everyone

Just trying to catch up as have been travelling with work.

Collie excellent news on the scan! So lovely you can start buying a few blue bits now!

Willitbe I'm so sorry hun and so wish you weren't going through this. I hope you have lots of TLC in real life. Sending you a big hug.

Lily hun please do not panic. Very close friends of mine had a similar result. They had an amnio (which is not compulsory at all so you don't have to if you don't want to) and the results came back as absolutely fine. Just because this first result is 1:20 it by no means means there is a problem. Try to stay calm as stressing yourself out won't be good for you or the bump and speak to the midwife tonight. Sending you a big hug.

Really sorry but can't view the page before properly so can't post lots of individual messages today but to the crampees, I've been having a few on an off too...sometimes connected to the loo and other times to stress or if I get very upset (which can easily happen with my mental hormones at the mo). I so wish I could have a scan every week for someone to tell me its ok. The 12 week scan to the next appointment feels like forever at the mo

xxxx

Lily I'm sorry, what a worry for you and a shock. I expect your head is just spinning now. I can't offer any specific advice because I haven't been in your situation but I would say that 1:20 also means 19:20 chances of not being downs.

I would also urge you not to google too much (or even not at all if you can help yourself). Until you have spoken with the midwife and got more information, it will won't help because you'll be d
However, having said that the ladies on some of the antenatal threads here might be able to offer you advice and at least will have experienced similar and understand what you are going through.

Before you got the phone call had you spoken with your DP about this scenario? I know some people do and some people don't. If you had, maybe focus on what you discussed to try to straighten out your thoughts.

What are you doing until the midwife appointment? Sometimes distraction helps, as it is only a few hours away now before you get more information and advice about next steps.

Hand here for you to hold in the meantime.

Thanks bump and freezing. I'm at home now distracting myself with mumsnet, DH is looking after our shop for me so that I didn't have to deal with anyone this afternoon. We had already discussed it and decided that we would have the extra tests done. Too late on the googling, I'm afraid, though I did that before we went for the scan. They mentioned cvs on the phone, but from what I understand that has more risks that amnio and also a higher rate of false positives, but the advantage that it can be done now rather than three weeks time. Maybe everyone feels this way, but I just feel I knew this was going to happen, hence having already discussed it all with DH on several occasions.

oh lily sweetie i'm sorry you got this extra worry. like freezing said you still have a higher chance of baby not being downs. Hope the mw is able to ease some of your worries.

lily so sorry you're having this worry. Have you looked on the Testing board? Also there's a lady on Pregnancy at the moment with a 1:25 post running. If you ignore the crap from one poster, there are lots of helpful posts.

Off to catch up.....but had to post to lily.

Lily I think you need to wait and speak to the midwife before deciding which test. I actually read about them in my baby book over the weekend and they seemed to suggest CVS was less risky and had a lesser chance of cramps/bleeding after than an amnio. which can worry people (but doesn't mean anything bad is happening)

I have no idea which is right and there are so many misleading things on the internet that really your midwife will be able to tell you the best

xxx

Oh lily I'm so sorry! What worry you must be going through. I just can't imagine. But as freezing has said 1:20 means 19:20 that all is fine. If you can, try to focus on that for now. I'd had all the conversations with dh too, so your not alone in fearing /preparing for the worst. I think personally, if termination was ever going to be an option I'd want the tests straight away, so that we could deal with that as early as possible. But I don't know the ins and outs of the success rates.

I don't know if you remember knitter ? She had a similar situation a few months ago, although I think it was a higher risk for her. Sadly her tests indicated downs, so perhaps not the best person to sign post you to for support, but it doesn't mean it will be that way for you. She's very nice and is in the common room, I'm sure she'd be happy to talk to you about her experience etc.

I'll be thinking of you tonight. Good luck darling. Please keep us posted. Xxx

Hi ladies,

Wow, you've been a busy bunch!! Sorry I haven't been on for a couple of days, life is really manic at home but then so is work......

Collie Wahoooo!!! So pleased for you! Are you telling everyone??

Willitbe I'm so sorry lovely. I hope you have lots of support x

Marathonmama Yaaay.....glad to see you here.

I'm sorry, my memory is crap and the phone keeps interrupting so for everyone I've forgotten.

I had mw yesterday and although I'm 16 wks today my actual 16 week appointment isn't for another two weeks, so this was just to check my "high" bp. The mw was perfectly happy with it which was a relief. The top number had gone up quite a lot but that apparently is to do with the volume of blood which of course is increased! So it's only the bottom number which counts and you're allowed a 15-20 increase in that from booking in before they worry about it. Got a sneaky listen to the hb which was lovely, even though I have my own doppler. Nice to know I'm listening to the right thing .

Thanks for all your birthday wishes for ds1 and dd, they both had a fab day. Ds1 is off for a night on the town on Saturday, and normally I would have gone, but I'm not being the only non-drinker!!

lily I'm sorry you have to deal with this. By my maths a 1;20 chance is a 95% chance that everything is totally fine. Please try not to panic. We're all here for you. I know knitter had a CVS, and over in the common room mummyabroad had an Amnio with her last child that was fine. As you say an CVS carries more risk, but still only 2% from what I remember. Good luck with the midwife xx

lily just wanna echo what others have said, I can't help you with what happens next, but hopefully the midwife will be able to give you all the answers you need - maybe write down all your questions so you don't forget when you are in there and then panic when you get home

Not having the greatest day, have been a low level mentaller for a while now and quite pleased with myself - but funny tummy feelings all day have sent me in a spin - just wanna go home, put on baggy pants and knicker check to my hearts content

lily I'm sorry your test results arent what you wanted and that you are having to deal with the extra worry. good luck with whatever you decide to do

Sorry your test results are worrying lily I hope your midwife appointment helps make things clear for you x
TMI please help, my cervix is very low and I'm panicking I could feel so much pressure so I had a feel to see what waas going on and it's a only just inside me about an inch if that, I'm terrified its all about to start!

lily I'm so,so sorry you are having this worry. I hope that the midwife is helpful and sympathetic tonight and is able to answer your questions. Try not to stress too much, it is early days, you will get through this. Thinking of you. x

laylasmummy I'm afraid that I can't help with your cervix question (I really wish I could set your mind at rest) but please don't start panicking yet. Please ring your midwife first thing tomorrow and ask her advice, I really feel for you worrying tonight - try your hardest to put it out of your mind until tomorrow when there could be a perfectly rational explanation. Also, don't stress about the cramps - I have been really worried about mine over the past few days and everyone has said they are incredibly common around 11 weeks. Hope you are ok. x

Thanks for all the words of support, I really appreciate it. The midwife was very helpful. We've decided to have the CVS, and the hospital that will do it have a 1% miscarriage rate for both CVS and amnio which makes the decision a little easier. Apparently my nuchal measurement was ok, but free bHCG was 4.5x the norm and the PAPP-A was about 1/2 the norm. I like knowing the facts, even if it dosen't change the outcome. I'm booked in at 9.30am tomorrow to see the consultant and will have the CVS done at the same time. Hoping for the abdominal rather than cervical entry route, but apparently this depends on the location of the placenta and we will have a scan first to find out. There's a small chance if its in the wrong place entirely that we will have to wait for amnio anyway. Assuming they can do the test ok we should have results on Monday afternoon. The hospital has been great and they have moved everything along very quickly for us.

lily I'm glad the hospital were so good. Obv wish you didn't have to be going through it though. You sound like you are holding up ok, how are you feeling? Tomorrow is quick, which is good. Wishing you lots of luck, I'll be thinking of you. Any idea how long the results take. Remember what izzy said 95% chance it will be ok! They are GOOD odds!!!

laylas sorry you're having worry too. I'm bot too sure about a low cervix, but as long as it's closed I would say you're ok. I agree though, you should see your gp tomorrow (or mw). If it is a risk there are things they can do like stich and ope cervix closed. Xx

Sorry lily, just realised you said results Monday. X

Thanks, Collie. I'm kind of ok now, had a good cry earlier and now focussing on just getting through tomorrow. I have four exams to take next Thurs/Fri, so planning to spend tomorrow and all weekend revising which should take my mind off waiting for the results...well that's the plan, anyway.

Hi lily I'm glad the midwife was able to give you all the facts and that you managed to get an appointment with the consultant for the CVS so quickly. I hope everything goes well for you today. Thinking of you. x

Laylasmummy how are you this morning?

Hi lily good luck today will be thinking of you.

lily good luck for today, glad you were able to get in so quickly.

layla i have no idea about the cervix positioning, if you're worried maybe talk to mw or gp? hope you're feeling better this morning.

I'm ok thanks, spoke to midwife and she said see gp, should be ok as long as cervix is closed, thankyou for your advice, I think I needed fish slapping lol
lily good luck today x

lily good luck for today, will be thinking of you. Sounds like your hospital is great x

layla I've no idea about your cervix either, I don't think you need fish slapping yet .

I'm having a bit of a tough time at the moment. I think it's a combination of things: my first dd is fast approaching, my best friend is due the week before I would have been, dh is never bloody home (was out 5 nights a week and now it's going to be 7 up til his fight), dd had a massive tantrum,having probs with my mother this is my thread here, plus work isn't great. They're def not happy about me being preg and I've no idea what's going on.

So it all resulted in me falling to bits last night. Lots of tears as I hurt my tummy whilst trying to get tantrumming dd up to her bedroom and then I panicked. Closely followed by a huge arguement with dh....... so feeling a bit shell shocked and sad today. Don't really know what to do to make myself feel better. Did anyone have any post-mc counselling?? I feel like I should be coping, and a bit of a failure that I'm not iykwim.

Argh, link didn't work......here

Take it easy, you... Sounds like you've had a lot on this week and need to take a step back and try to relax...
DH - can you try to use the time he's away to do nice stuff for yourself - have a long bath, get a takeaway, watch a DVD?
Mother - mine is a pain in the arse (and it can't be attributed to any illness). She has said some crass things including (yesterday) "I hope your baby gives you as much hassle your whole life as you gave me - you have no idea what you're in for". Can anyone else take over the cleaning? I'd say that you need to be taking it as easy as you can
DD - probably the timing of her tantrum wasn't great but perhaps it was worse because everything else has been getting to you?
Can your midwife or doc get you referred for counselling. I can't remember who but definitely one of the ladies on here had post-mc counselling and I seem to remember it was very good. Perhaps try the grads thread.
We're all here for you too... If you wanted a chat over the phone even, I'll happily be there... (WIW can assure you I'm not an axe-murderer).