Freak Out Room For Those Newly Updiffed After M/C Part VII

[Blackkat]

Just found out you are pregnant after a previous miscarriage and too nervous to move over the to pregnancy boards? Freaking out about spotting, cramping, symptoms (or lack there of) and nervously awaiting your first scan? Here is a lovely place for lot's of support, hand holding and problem sharing.

Courtesy of owlbooty here are the Ten Commandments of the Freak Out Room.

1. Thou shalt check thy knickers to the point of insanity until the baby actually arrives.
2. Thou shalt also check the loo roll post-wipeage (sorry, gross, I know)
3. Thou shalt bore thy physician and midwife to tears with the mentalling.
4. And thy husband/boyfriend/family/neighbour's cat.
5. Thou shalt obsess over the absence of symptoms.
6. And the presence of symptoms.
7. And the fluctuation of symptoms.
8. Thou shalt pee on a vast number of sticks and keep ClearBlue and First Response in business.
9. The day before any scan extreme mentalling is permitted without recourse to the Haddock.

10. Self-diagnosis with Dr Google is Forbidden.

The Haddock will be applied liberally to all transgressors.

See here for the previous thread

Big hug to you Mistress... Glad your mum is coming and make sure you put your feet up and take it easy.

Are you going to see your doc / go the EPU? Might be worth going just in case and also if the situation is as bad as you fear, to check you're not at risk of any infection. Did you say you had a scan on Sunday? Even if you're bleeding, please go because they will be able to scan you and check everything's ok.

It's totally normal for your emotions to be all over the place but keep positive... I think a holiday is a lovely idea.

We're all here for you....

ps - I think a glass of wine is a fab idea... with lots of chocolate cake

mistress i'm so sorry this has happened. I had my mc at just over 11 wks but the baby had died at 7 weeks. When i had the bad news scan i went home and opened a bottle of wine. I think you should do whatever you want to help you today. Is your mum staying? can she look after ds for you this evening/tonight?

Same as Lara, big hugs Mistress. I also think you should continue to go to your scan and enjoy a lovely glass of wine tonight.

I'm away this weekend so will catch up with everything when back on Monday. Katherine really glad the scan went well.

Hope everyone has a restful weekend. Giant buttons, shortbread fingers and mango slices (as a palate cleanser) are on the side for you all.

Friday 24th June LIST

Lovemysleep 24+3 EDD 11/10/11
Tunnocksteacake 22+5 EDD 24/10/11
IreneHeron 22+3 EDD 23/10/11
Hils74 20+2 EDD 8/11/11
Katherine2008 20+1 EDD 10/11/11 next scan 23/6/11
Haffertee 19+6 EDD 14/11/11
Ninunina: 19+3 EDD 15/11/11
delilahbelle 19+1 EDD 22/11/11
Mattsmama 19+1 EDD 17/11/11
Banana87 18+3 EDD 22/11/11
Bigmacsauce 17+3 EDD 29/11/11 Next scan 11/7/11
Blackkat 16+4 EDD 5/12/11 Next scan 26/07/11
Jigglebum 16+1 EDD 8/12/11
Minnie74 15+6 EDD 12/12/11
Lucky 14+4
Dooscooby 14+1 EDD 22/12/11
Harassed 14+1 EDD 22/12/11
Hadrian 13+1
Youremindmeofthebabe 12+1 scan 22/6/11
Updiffed 11+6
Freezingmyarseoff 11+6 scan 5/7/11
Milkyways 11+5 EDD 08/01/12 Next scan 04/07/11
Bump 10+6
Hairylights 10+4
Mamarara 10+1
Lily06 10+1 Next scan 12/07/11
Pigletmania 9+6
Laylasmummy09 9+5
purpletoes 7+1 EDD 09/02/12
willitbe 6+0

On the grads thread too:

Nickster 33+6 EDD 7/8/11
Orange 29+6 EDD 4/9/11
Wombat33 28+6 EDD 10/09/11
Daisybell 28+1 EDD 14/09/11
Pinkfondantfancy 26+6 EDD 25/09/11
Tiggersreturn (TTT) 26+4 EDD 26/09/11
mamapower 26+0 EDD 28/9/11
ALovelyBunchOfCoconuts 25+6 EDD 01/10/11
Emoo 25+1 EDD 7/10/11
Onions 22+4 EDD 24/10/11
Velvetcu 22+3 EDD 25/10/11
MummyAbroad 21+0 EDD 4/11/11
CEP 20+6 EDD 5/11/11
CollieandPup 18+5 EDD 20/11/11
wombatinwaiting: 18+1 EDD 24/11/11
LaraMi 18+0 EDD 25/11/11 Next scan 20/07/11
IzzyWizzyletsgetbusy 17+4 EDD 26/11/11

In our thoughts and prayers
Dachs whose beautiful little babies Alexander & Felicia left this world sleeping

Thinking of.... ladybee; digi; A&R; barbie; MumTum; Knitter, Kat2504

Just updating list - thanks collie i forgot my scan date was still on there. I had to move mine to last Friday as DH had to work in Germany this week. All was fine, had a suprise though as we were told team blue at early gender scan but it turns out we are pink.

mistress I'm sorry to hear that you are bleeding and cramping but please make sure you do get scanned. I don't want to give you false hope but my sister bled fairly heavily (as in a few sanitary towels a day and had big clots) from 8-11 weeks and is now 15 weeks and bleed free with a healthy bean.

I'm in Kent btw southerners. I will get on with organising a meet at mamaps place too.

Hope everyone is ok

Byeeeee ladies - see you in a week and a bit's time! Hope you all have a freak-out-free week ahead. Will miss posting. Will spill all the beans on my meeting with WIW and will get DH to stand from afar to take pics from phone that I will post immediately online

Will miss you all - not sure that grumpy DH will be a replacement for your freakouterly love.

Mwahhhhh!

xx

Oh mistress I am truely so so sorry. Life can be crap! velvet is right, bleeding abd even clots can happen and bean be ok, even though unlikely. I would agree with everyones suggestions that you keep your scan on Sunday and go. You can know where you are that way. If it is a mc, then my Sunday you may have passed most of it (took me 2-3 days) so they can scan you too see how things are looking.

You sound like you are handling very bravely and with much dignity. I think you very much deserve a glass of wine tonight so go ahead and have one. I'll be thinkng of you tonight. X

have a super super holiday misses!!!!

have a fantastic time lara

sorry meant to say Yay katherine for a great scan.

So sorry to hear the latest developments mistress. I agree with the others about still going to the scan on Sunday - it's important they check it out, otherwise you could be at risk of infection. The whole thing is unbelievably awful for you. It sounds like you are dealing with things really well, but don't give yourself a hard time if you lose the plot at any point. We've all been there. I think a glass of wine or two sounds like a good plan...

Lara, if you're still around, hope you have a fabulous holiday!!

Thanks chaps. Don't worry, I will be going for the scan on Sunday. Hopefully it will all be over by then. I've passed quite a bit now, although there must be more to come. Pains have eased up considerably and my mummy is here for the night!

Have a lovely time Lara.

Right, time for wine. Hugs to all xxxx

Misstress - sorry to read your update. I hope that if it is a m/c that it all goes fairly quickly and painlessly from now on. Just a word of caution on the wine - if things do get bad and you have to go in for pain relief you may regret the glass of wine later. Also cramps and passing clots suggests m/c but does not mean it is definitely. But on the other hand I think that you have to follow your instincts and if you think a glass of wine will help you cope then go for it. It is sad that you have to wait til sunday still to find out if it is a m/c and what is going on. But if it is a m/c at least by sunday they will hopefully be able to say if it is complete. So sorry you are going through this.

Katherine2008 - congrats on the scan and finding out it is a boy!

dooscooby - great that you mananged to hear the heartbeat today.

lara - enjoy the holiday.

bigmac - having brushed off the scales from our haddock fight, I am pleased to tell you that the wee-ing does not get less, it gets different!!!! Night-time loo visits increase and the daytime loo visits get infuriating with thinking you need to go and go right now, only to get to the loo and do half a tea-spoon full, and then need to go again half an hour later!!!!! Yep I remember this well from my previous pregnancies that reached term! Ah the joys of it all

mistressp i will be thinking of you tonight and say a little prayer. Thanks all for your good wishes. One thing I forgot to say, I have a low lying placenta, which I'm sure will all turn out ok, but wondered if anyone had experienced this before? I was quite surprised at 20 weeks to be fanjocammed anyway!

mistressp I'm so sorry lovely. Glad you have your mum with you. Thinking of you x

katherine fanjocam for 20 weeks?? Blimey..... never heard of that before. I don't think a low lying placenta is that unusual, and you've got plenty of time for it to move. Are you booked for another scan to check it's moved?

lara have a fab hol and give wombat a squeeze from me!

katherine i've never heard of a fanjocam at 20 weeks, i suppose they just wanted to be thorough.

mistress how are you this morning?

I'd concur with pants and cep on fanjocam at 20 weeks katherine, however, I'm sure different sonographers have different preferred methods. The important thing is that everything is going along smoothly and that it's good you know about the low lying placenta - I believe it can mean that you're more susceptible to random spotting e.g. after sex. Please don't take this as gospel though!

Thinking of you lots mistressp and glad to hear that you have good support from your mum. You are dealing with this admirably and I hope that tomorrow's scan will help in some way.

Waves to all x

Hi cep. I'm okay actually. Not much blood loss through night, so I'm wondering if perhaps the embryo stopped developing some weeks ago, and that the clots (some felt quite large) I passed yesterday were the bulk of it. It is annoying that I was not scanned in time; I'll never know how far I got, and I could have saved myself a lot of worry and fear about what to expect.

My mum and I shared a bottle of wine which helped me relax. I feel very empty this morning, but not distraught. I think I have done all my crying and worrying during the week. It will be hard telling friends though.

I thought about things like my folic acid, my decaf tea and my alcohol free beer but instead of feeling utterly depressed, I think "well, I'll need them again soon". Is it weird to feel this okay so soon?

Going to try to enjoy the summer, have the holiday, start my new job in September and begin trying again for this elusive number 2.

Not sure what to do today. Mope or get out.

mistress im glad the bleeding has eased off. You seem to be dealing with things quite well. I know that I would stay in and mope today but it's probably best to get out and do something unless the bleeding starts again.

katherine I was fanjocammed at 20 weeks too - its normal policy in my area so they can get a good look at the cervix and placenta. I am also taking part in a study into premature birth so they need the results for that too.

Morning mistress glad you're feeling ok today and well done for getting through the past few days - I think sometimes mentalling can be good, as you work through things in your head which helps you to deal with everything. Do whatever you fancy today I would say. Sometimes getting out of the house for a change of scene does the world of good (especially if you have been at home for days on end) but obviously only if you are feeling up to it physically. Maybe don't go too far afield in case you have a dodgy patch? Is there anywhere you can take your DS that he loves? Seeing him having a fab time will probably lift your spirits.... (Please take your Mum too as back-up!!)

Everyone deals with mc and the aftermath differently, so I don't think it's weird to feel ok so soon. With my last one I was totally numb for the whole thing - I think I was just in shock - I only cried once. It probably sounds heartless but it was my coping mechanism, and I just focused on getting pregnant again asap (and yes I am now using up the remaining decaf tea, pregnancy vitamins etc so hang on to them!!!). I know others cannot contemplate trying again for months, but for me, trying again really got me through it. By the way, holiday is a fab idea - we had one booked to Greece, which is where my 2 little beans were conceived, so always good to have continuous access to DH for that kind of thing! :o

Good luck with the scan tomorrow and let us know how it goes. Big hugs. x

Morning.

mistress I'm glad the bleeding is eased. I understand what you mean about not being scanned, it makes no difference to anything but I would want to know how far it had got. It's not weired to be feeling ok and calm. As you say you did your worrying in the week and yesterday. But also don't be suprised if the grief and sadness comes back and overwhelms you again another day. After my mc I had days where I felt my works was ending, abd then litterally the next day I would feel like I was ok and getting over it, abd that cycle continued for a couple of weeks.

I think a bit of both lazing around the house and getting our is good. Maybe go out but not to far or for too long. Then come back and settle infring of the tv and watch some trashy tv. The friends you need to tell, are they likekybto be sympathetic and sensitive to the situation? I hope so. I know it's not a nice way to tell people, but I dud it by text. I couldn't face rining people but didn't want to get messages checking how I was either. Most people After initailly replying, left me for a few days and then got in touch.

((big hugs)) mistress take it easy today. When is your oh home?

velvet great news on the scan. I did read that on the grads thread, but mustn't have registered the shift to team pink. What a shock!! How do you feel?

xx

Morning
So sorry to hear about your pain and bleeding mistress - I hope you are ok. Thinking of you.

Good news on scan though velvet!

And have a fab holiday Lara!

I am mostly listening to Glasto on the radio today. Might also not wash for a couple of days and jump in some puddles for an authentic experience. Not really.

Have a good weekend all.

Saturday 25th June List -

Just tidied a little and moved Irene and Tunnocks to grads bcs I know you're both posting there now, hope that's ok.

Lovemysleep 24+4 EDD 11/10/11
Hils74 20+3 EDD 8/11/11
Katherine2008 20+2 EDD 10/11/11
Haffertee 20+0 EDD 14/11/11
Ninunina: 19+4 EDD 15/11/11
delilahbelle 19+2 EDD 22/11/11
Mattsmama 19+2 EDD 17/11/11
Banana87 18+4 EDD 22/11/11
Bigmacsauce 17+4 EDD 29/11/11 Next scan 11/7/11
Blackkat 16+5 EDD 5/12/11 Next scan 26/07/11
Jigglebum 16+2 EDD 8/12/11
Minnie74 16+0 EDD 12/12/11
Lucky 14+5
Dooscooby 14+2 EDD 22/12/11
Harassed 14+2 EDD 22/12/11
Hadrian 13+2
Youremindmeofthebabe 12+2
Updiffed 12+0
Freezingmyarseoff 12+0 scan 5/7/11
Milkyways 11+6 EDD 08/01/12 Next scan 04/07/11
Bump 11+0
Hairylights 10+5
Mamarara 10+2
Lily06 10+2 Next scan 12/07/11
Pigletmania 10+0
Laylasmummy09 9+6
purpletoes 7+2 EDD 09/02/12
willitbe 6+1

On the grads thread too:

Nickster 34+0 EDD 7/8/11
Orange 30+0 EDD 4/9/11
Wombat33 29+0 EDD 10/09/11
Daisybell 28+2 EDD 14/09/11
Pinkfondantfancy 27+0 EDD 25/09/11
Tiggersreturn (TTT) 26+5 EDD 26/09/11
mamapower 26+1 EDD 28/9/11
ALovelyBunchOfCoconuts 26+0 EDD 01/10/11
Emoo 25+2 EDD 7/10/11
Tunnocksteacake 22+6 EDD 24/10/11
Onions 22+5 EDD 24/10/11
IreneHeron 22+4 EDD 23/10/11
Velvetcu 22+4 EDD 25/10/11
MummyAbroad 21+1 EDD 4/11/11
CEP 21+0 EDD 5/11/11
CollieandPup 18+6 EDD 20/11/11
wombatinwaiting: 18+2 EDD 24/11/11
LaraMi 18+1 EDD 25/11/11 Next scan 20/07/11
IzzyWizzyletsgetbusy 17+5 EDD 26/11/11

In our thoughts and prayers
Dachs whose beautiful little babies Alexander & Felicia left this world sleeping

Thinking of.... ladybee; digi; A&R; barbie; MumTum; Knitter, Kat2504

MistressP pleased to hear that things seemed to have calmed down a little for you, I do hope tomorrow's scan brings you the answers you need. ((((hugs)))). I think you do whatever feels right for you today and for the next few days. Pleased you DM is there to support you. Thinking of you today. X

to everyone else, hope you get some sunshine today, I'm settling down to get ready for the tennis.

mistress glad the bleeding wasn't too bad. I found that after i'd cried the first day or two i wasn't too bad. had a cry when i got the 12 wk reminder text as i was told that would be cancelled and so it suprised me. But other than that felt quite calm. But then i do tend to shut my feelings away.

Just checking in on Mistress how have you been today? Good luck for your scan tomorrow.

After doing our van errands this morning, dragged dh around 4 baby shops and came back empty handed Was close to buying the gorgeous cot we love (and lara bought) from M&P but the sale only applied if you bought 3 items and we only wanted the one so i might as well wait until closer to the time and hope its gets reduced Think we've decided on the pram too. Quinny Buzz 3 for us i think. Found a great deal, so debating showing my mum in hope she'll offfer to do the honours but having had a look on ebay you can get the lot for half the price 2nd hand so i'm torn. Part of me thinks save myself £300, and another thinks this is what the baby will be in a lot of the time, and if i have another its likely to be saved for dc2 too, so i should get new. I expect we'll also accept a lot of other stuff off my SIL who has everything we could need, and no londer needs most of it, so don;t have everything to buy. Any views? old V's new??

Hi collie. I'm ok. Bleeding but no real physical pain now. Have a houseful; Mum, sisters and their DPs, best mates, but I've snuck off to bed. They're happy downstairs watching glasto on the tv and drinking beer, and it's nice to hear them chuntering away, knowing I'm being babysat! I have DS sprawled our next to me in bed.

The sadness has hit me a bit this evening. Been going through old texts that refer to the pg, thinking about how everything has changed, that they'll be no baby in January etc. All sorts of indulgent, very sad thoughts that are part of the grieving process and need to be had.

Scan tomorrow at 9am.

Night all.