Relax and It'll Happen- at the BESH Spa

[starcuntmole]

Unwind and rest your weary wombles as we cater to your every relaxation need. If you've been getting stressed about failing to fertilise for what feels like five hundred years, and your follicles aren't getting any younger, we have the perfect combination of treatments to send you on your way uplifted, and updiffed.
Pampering experiences from head to toe, and all the bits in between, whose benefits stem from the combination of nature?s ingredients and our therapists? highly trained hands and tongues.
Feel the all over healing powers of touch, with one of our speciality Cuban massages (rum and cigarring compulsory) , indulge in a volcanic mud-cake wrap or lose yourself in our unique water experiences: gin jacuzzi, turkish delight baths, and enjoy the Sechseny pool staffed by our attentive in house swimmers. Finally treat yourself to a mani/pedi (polishes come in the full range of colours from Clearly Clear to Russet)

Complimentary bar.
Please note: Robes must be worn in all pubic areas.

Euro & Rie my nickname at work is Ice Queen apparently I have a swinging brick instead of a heart.

Love Henna Orange Boo have fun at ESH meet tomorrow!

Just watched 24hrs in A&E. So much respect for anyone that has to deal with all that.

Only cake for me tonight, beloved only just got back from work and already snoring.. DAMNATION and FRUSTRATION!!

Pint of gin and 2 tequilas please

Gah should also have been shagging . My man also fell asleep straight after dinner. Bollocks .

Am too tired fir working today. School has ofsted coming in. Shouldn't affect me as am only supply. But everyone will be running round like headless chickens. I will be mainlining coffee.

I don't think we ever managed an evening shag. If I didn't clamber on first thing in the morning whilst we were both half asleep it didn't happen at all; cue months of teeth-clenching pointless ovulation rage. May I just say also how utterly shite the morning sechs is when you're half asleep and late for work to boot. I shall tell Owlet of this when he is old enough to be mortally embarrassed.

Too early for gin? I think not.

Kitty Ofsted are work of satan and it would not be unreasonable to put overripe bananas in their briefcases whilst they aren't looking.

Fuck, I am so tired.

I can feel a shift in the earth's forces as booand alps move closer....

Work has felt just like that 24 hours in A&E programme this week. One of our GPs was assaulted by a patient and the police took half an hour to arrive. The police station is over the bloody road. Outrageous!

In other news I have been called a hard-hearted birch today. I take such pride in my work!

dor perhaps your can take it as a compliment? Why are you a hard hearted bitch ?

Morning sechs? No chance! Mr kat gets up for work at half four. I did it once at that time when we first got together. But i need to be asleep then! Also he is pretty rubbish before ten as he is not a morning person. The sticks have spoken so he gadgets better be ready to give me some white goods as soon as he gets in.

Gadgets? How is my beware mobe inserting random words that i did not write. Gadgets are no good. I need a shag with a real penis.

That just really made me larf Kat. Gadgets don't do it for me either...

Wellllllllllllll???? How was it? Did the earth move?

I think it did - when we all went down the slide :o

'Twas most pleasant. I was late though and missed the beginning. Got stuck behind a fecking tractor. Grr.

Half four???

No, that is not at all feasible, I am gobsmacked that you managed it even the once! I recall the heady days when me and Mr Boots first met. On one occasion we did actually shag twice in one day. It has never happened since and will never happen again.

Dor You stole the receptionist's biscuits, didn't you? I'm sure people at my work are calling me all sorts behind my back as I am going round the building at the moment hoovering up any snacks they have foolishly left in my path.

Boo what are you doing behind a tractor?

I had such a fab time today I can't stop smiling. The eshes are of course brilliant and the slide was possibly more fun for mums... we sprinkled loads of babydust.

Babydust? Did we?

Booty I was on the A4103. It always happens. Farming country innit?

It could've been crap ham and cheese, it did rather look like an explosion in a deli by the time we were done. ;)

Phew, I was just about to say who are you and what have you done with my Pony? :o

Did you go and meet the other ESHlady or is that another day?

Hello slags. Glad you had a luvverly day Boo & Alps - ham & cheese baby dust on the slide sounds brilliant.

Don't know what the needles woman did to me this afternoon but my stomach is making odd noises and I can't stop burping.

CD8 - pee'd on a OV stick, nada. I am POAS every day this month until something happens. End of.

Ooo, I saw my needles laydee today too. No odd noises yet though! What I would really like it to have done is to make my work stress go away. It's quarter to ten and some fcker in my NY office is still email me questions.

Euro the needles rock if only because I get to have a little nap in the middle of the day

Tell NY to piss off, don't they know you have more important things to do like chatting shit researching accupuncutre on MN??

So, these needles ladies: do they stick them in your womble?

Oh, I am mainly called a bitch when I withold methadone prescriptions when people don't attend their appointments. Today i excelled myself by going through the palaver of cancelling a script and reissuing it for one day only so the patient had to come back and see me tomorrow. He told me I was wasting his time... to which the only appropriate response was 'welcome to my world'.

evening girls
can i just ask, how long have you all been trying? i'm 2 years now.. starting to think maybe i should give up the gin but really how much difference does it make? I'm not out getting lashed every night, just having a few bevvies on the weekend..
Thoughts please!

Sort of Rie (as I believe they call you in these parts). Most needles go in my lower legs. Sometimes I get them in my head, wrists and feet too. And I think every time she has stuck 3 in my lower abdomen, around the knicker line area.

Cherry I'm on cycle 7 of "proper" trying (i.e. making sure we are hitting ov time by a combination of opks and temping). Before that we were using natural contraception/not really preventing. But now I am tracking my cycles I realise that I ovulate later than I thought so we probably hit ov quite a few times in that phase (and certainly did once cos I got implantation bleeding). So somewhere between 2 and a half years and 7 months! But it has only taken a mental toll for the time I have been really trying. And it's already driving me loopy (or loopier, to be more accurate).

On and off since Jan 10 Lifeislikeabowlofcherries. I do have a child already, but I try not to bang on about it (even though lovely laydeez of the fred say they don't mind).

I am feeling a bit low about my chin situation. I just cried on MrBoo and said I feel like a bullfrog. I seriously need to do something about my weight. Went to body balance and am the fattest lady in the class. It's truly crapola :(

Boo, have you tried calorie counting? It's how I keep my weight under control now. I use a website which does all the calculations for you to make it easy. You just enter a Pret sandwich, 20 mins walking, etc. The only pain is having to weigh stuff that doesn't come portioned.