Relax and It'll Happen- at the BESH Spa

[starcuntmole]

Unwind and rest your weary wombles as we cater to your every relaxation need. If you've been getting stressed about failing to fertilise for what feels like five hundred years, and your follicles aren't getting any younger, we have the perfect combination of treatments to send you on your way uplifted, and updiffed.
Pampering experiences from head to toe, and all the bits in between, whose benefits stem from the combination of nature?s ingredients and our therapists? highly trained hands and tongues.
Feel the all over healing powers of touch, with one of our speciality Cuban massages (rum and cigarring compulsory) , indulge in a volcanic mud-cake wrap or lose yourself in our unique water experiences: gin jacuzzi, turkish delight baths, and enjoy the Sechseny pool staffed by our attentive in house swimmers. Finally treat yourself to a mani/pedi (polishes come in the full range of colours from Clearly Clear to Russet)

Complimentary bar.
Please note: Robes must be worn in all pubic areas.

That's what I mean: he seems like a nice man. Is it Children in Need or Comic Relief stuff he does as well. And on DIY SOS the women always fall on his shirtfront weeping. I think I would too - he's that sort of guy. But I wouldn't shag him.

I just deleted a gushy bit from my post about when he went to Africa and was in a camp where AIDS was totally rife, but I couldn't remember the country, and it bugged me. But at the time he made me cry. And I really believed him when he said it changed him. And I still would.

I meant it bugged me about not remembering which country. I hate generalising about Africa. Not that I know anything about it, or have been there or anything.

Yes, I remember that. Was it Malawi?

So Boo - why are you Orange? Am assuming this isn't some Northern Irish reference... but more a 'slipped when applying the tango juice...'?

SunnyD - you can fire a FB friend's updates without firing the friend themselves. I've done this with the more inane and ridiculous offenders.

Right - what's happened to the chillout room? Cunty - did you blow that up too?!?! FFS.

Hello? Hello? Hello?

Where are you all? You have all gone to hang out somewhere else and not told me haven't you?

It's quiet round 'ere today, innit?

'Allo Euro. I have decided that if I ever have any kind of camera up the bum or down the gullet investigation, I will ask for a print out and put the results up on FB for everyone to inspect my insides and tell me how lovely they are.

AIBU?

My hair is Orange Brownie, the rest of me ranged from milky white to slightly tanned (arms) :o

I thought the same Rie. I thought you'd all gone off to that other fred and run off into the sunset with new and more amusing friends... sniff...

I have worked damn hard today and am emotionally drained. Yesterday was an office day which is why I got to post whenever I got distracted in my lunch break, whereas I have been out and about all day with young reprobates. Took one to do some volunteer dog walking at a rescue centre. It was very pleasant.

*ranges.

Must start to proof read.

Sound reasonable to me...!

Don't be silly Boo

I am friends with everyone

Nice work on orange hair. The brighter the better. I am at work this evening and am loving it. No really. Someone smack me to make me snap out of grumpyness.

Rie I likes you as an ice queen. Don't go changing, to try and please me, we never could have come this far ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh.

Lush henna Brown, in Caca Rouge. Smelled like cow pat, itched like hell, but now all orange and shiny!

An ice queen? Actually that was my nickname at school. For someone with red hair and an awful temper, that was odd. But maybe I can be quite glacial

'Twas a nod to an ages ago fred Rie, when we discussed Tilda Swinton and I posted <a class="break-all" href="http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=www.dealsdaily.info/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/1305284525-54.jpg&imgrefurl=www.dealsdaily.info/tag/tilda-swinton&usg=__jv6O0PZGTSzaAYvA37cog4LkfgM=&h=300&w=416&sz=33&hl=en&start=0&sig2=-5eu9LNFu8WoVEMqnI7IDw&zoom=1&tbnid=6IancblOpsBReM:&tbnh=147&tbnw=189&ei=yjkCTv30OtCv8QOz1fzEAg&prev=/search%3Fq%3Dtilda%2Bswinton%26hl%3Den%26client%3Dfirefox-a%26hs%3DDST%26sa%3DX%26rls%3Dorg.mozilla:en-GB:official%26biw%3D1280%26bih%3D668%26tbm%3Disch%26prmd%3Divnso&itbs=1&iact=hc&vpx=816&vpy=240&dur=675&hovh=191&hovw=264&tx=104&ty=113&page=1&ndsp=21&ved=1t:429,r:19,s:0&biw=1280&bih=668" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">this pic. Or you did. Someone did anyway. My memory isn't that good.

Scream

Ice queen was my nickname too!

Good plan on posting nasty scans on FB. Do you know anyone going for a rectal cam examination soon?

just looked up who Nick Knowles is.. Yum. Not very embarrassing though.
I know, I know, I'm pretty slow on this fred!

Just done A LOT of baking for a cake sale. Feeling rather like a domestic goddess. Beloved man arriving home soon and by the calculations of the moon 'tis ovulation season.... so tonight ladies we shall be mostly shagging (inbetween eating cakes)

I'm here now, I have been Socialising All Day, it's very tiring.

brown I'm afraid the chill out room fell foul of my ratherover enthusiastic plan to open a drawer that had got a bit stuck. (What do you mean using sticks of dynamite was a tad excessive?) I am demolishing the Spa bit by bit, since it let me down, so those of you who were rather more successful may want to take some pieces as a souvenir. Here ski have a brick. Ooooops.

Is anyone on here a Chris Lilley fan? I am much enjoying Angry Boyd, although I think Summer Heights High was better. It's the only programme with as much cunting swearing as the Palais (and doen'st make me cringe in the way the Inbetweeners does) Fucking love it.

cheery, which do you like best cake or sechs, cake.....or sechs......

I meant Angry Boys. Duh.

and doesn't.

(preview you arsehole, preview)

Cunty, I haven't an earthly idea what you are on about.