Relax and It'll Happen- at the BESH Spa

[starcuntmole]

Unwind and rest your weary wombles as we cater to your every relaxation need. If you've been getting stressed about failing to fertilise for what feels like five hundred years, and your follicles aren't getting any younger, we have the perfect combination of treatments to send you on your way uplifted, and updiffed.
Pampering experiences from head to toe, and all the bits in between, whose benefits stem from the combination of nature?s ingredients and our therapists? highly trained hands and tongues.
Feel the all over healing powers of touch, with one of our speciality Cuban massages (rum and cigarring compulsory) , indulge in a volcanic mud-cake wrap or lose yourself in our unique water experiences: gin jacuzzi, turkish delight baths, and enjoy the Sechseny pool staffed by our attentive in house swimmers. Finally treat yourself to a mani/pedi (polishes come in the full range of colours from Clearly Clear to Russet)

Complimentary bar.
Please note: Robes must be worn in all pubic areas.

Not me Boo. MS has a stepmother. A crazy one.

chezza I am not ignoring you but as I am generally wandering the wastelands of mn in a drunken stupor not in the palais I feel it is not my place to welcome you to the coven fold. I will gladly give you a manly backslap though :)

Just came back to remind Aries that Fight Club Brad is STILL MINE (see some fucking ancient thread or other for details.)

Big big love to all the marvellous BESHes. Laters.

I approve of the violence. More pliz.

Welcome Cherry . Do not let the HagofGin give you a manly backslap, she will probably feff your arse whilst she's at it. Excellent work on the word flangipani btw.

His name is Tyler Durden. And he's just about to jump in the bath with me. HA!

Arrrrr!

trying to think of an embarrassing man I fancy, finding it hard.. I have such darn good taste...
What about that man who plays the headteacher in the inbetweeners? He's a good tall man.

That's the spirit Cunty. Comedy bombs. I don't know, we have been far too fluffy of late. The next time someone is in need of sympathy they will get an affectionate decking from me, for one.

How lovely that Muse, Meds and Ginny are here

Bring on the fight club fred then I say. Shall we start now, in the wreckage of the expolodicated spa, or wait 100 odd posts to set the scene?

I wouldn't recommend taking bath with Tyler btw. He had this amazing soap but something about it wasn't quite right.

Random question - how come you can italicise a phrase by putting ^ at each end, but you can't do the same with * to bold one?

you definitely can Boo

I think we should wait until the end of the spar. It would be mean to abandon it.

Well I never

Wow - it looks like a bomb has gone off in here.... Has anyone got my handcuffs?

I could fashion you some, when I've finished doing <a class="break-all" href="http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=1.bp.blogspot.com/_WQnDRmZpycc/TP-5VU32EZI/AAAAAAAAAIs/8gvqkjpOvNs/s1600/flashdance_1.jpg&imgrefurl=obsessionsofkikistar.blogspot.com/2010/12/flashdance.html&usg=__e8kWjJDKI1eLbIe4T8kkaxGweHk=&h=310&w=465&sz=14&hl=en&start=0&sig2=4KHdm1sJYgBnVJYppwXYAg&zoom=1&tbnid=ejHZkRAcR9P1bM:&tbnh=149&tbnw=196&ei=r8j_TdHuMdHC8QOswdTTAw&prev=/search%3Fq%3Dflashdance%26hl%3Den%26client%3Dfirefox-a%26hs%3Di9S%26rls%3Dorg.mozilla:en-GB:official%26biw%3D1280%26bih%3D668%26tbm%3Disch&itbs=1&iact=hc&vpx=252&vpy=365&dur=408&hovh=174&hovw=255&tx=155&ty=89&page=1&ndsp=20&ved=1t:429,r:14,s:0&biw=1280&bih=668" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">this.

THAT woman on THAT thread simply won't go away and she has brought out my inner bully. I have stooped to her level

The trolls are out in force at the moment. There was another one on a thread about stillbirth that made me so incredibly angry I had to stop reading it and go off and swear quietly in a corner.

Fuck the lot of them, I say. They are ignorant idiots who have no empathy for anyone else and I pity their families/offspring/friends if they have any.

Cherry is that not the chap who was in Buffy the Vampire Slayer? If so he is not nearly embarrassing enough. Having said that, I cannot remember what I put down back in the days of BESHyore when I turned up. I may have to go off and find out.

Thing is I don't think she is a troll. I just think she is a stupid, thick, insensitive bitch . Moreover she cannot punctuate.

Rie Hide the thread sweets. You've got enough to contend with without someone you don't know causing you extra pain. Close the virtual door on her, she is evidently going to stick to her viewpoint and she won't change - some people just don't have that kind of depth.

Here, have my welding kit and nail that door closed.

Fuck... I've broke fred :(

I had to go and post in the end. There comes and point where you can't sit on your hands anymore.

Fuck me! What a cruel, cold, judgemental and nasty fucking harpee! Read Fred, didn't post as don't want to get banned from MN! Also, because I am prone to fluffiness would add that the rest of the fred is proof of how good a place the ttc boards really can be.

As am also a bit prone to the woo am going to join boo and burn green fags to discourage malign visitors.

Nipple twists anyone? Or just a feff

Oh boo, she didn't upset me so much as anger me that someone like her was actually on this planet using up oxygen. And she set out to hurt the feelings of us, AS A GROUP

Who's for a black eye?

Look, you could hang your coat on those.

I'm quite fond of my eyes Rie but you can give me a chinese burn if you like

Hold out your wrist, bitch!