Relax and It'll Happen- at the BESH Spa

[starcuntmole]

Unwind and rest your weary wombles as we cater to your every relaxation need. If you've been getting stressed about failing to fertilise for what feels like five hundred years, and your follicles aren't getting any younger, we have the perfect combination of treatments to send you on your way uplifted, and updiffed.
Pampering experiences from head to toe, and all the bits in between, whose benefits stem from the combination of nature?s ingredients and our therapists? highly trained hands and tongues.
Feel the all over healing powers of touch, with one of our speciality Cuban massages (rum and cigarring compulsory) , indulge in a volcanic mud-cake wrap or lose yourself in our unique water experiences: gin jacuzzi, turkish delight baths, and enjoy the Sechseny pool staffed by our attentive in house swimmers. Finally treat yourself to a mani/pedi (polishes come in the full range of colours from Clearly Clear to Russet)

Complimentary bar.
Please note: Robes must be worn in all pubic areas.

Hiya Cherry just one Q - are you post 30? We izz old and wizened in here you see. If answer is yes, then proceed to BESHtionnaire pronto by hitting the search button yonder, and... erm searching and finding. And answering.

I have plenty of comedy violence to go round. Now, drink this shot of tequila from my cleavage

Oh yes, officially turned 31 just a few weeks ago..
I love a challenge, will seek and destroy the BESHtionnaire

Boo pliz to not flounce. We need your woo wisdom and general all round niceness. Now stop those tears and take Gin's offer of the shot.

Hello Gin.

Rie it is pissing down here too. I am coming back to that there Cornwall in October. Can we party please? Obv we will both be diffed by then though.

I'm not crying Sunny, I just can't get out from under this anvil.

Fanny Priceless was over 40 when she became a BESH, Boo. She LIED about her age on the application form but was graciously allowed to stay.

Oh and Sunny, yes we will deffo be diffed by then. We can shop for maternity clothes together

Actually MyLovelyFriendGinster's visit has reminded me there has not been nearly enough comedy violence lately. We are forgetting the original spirit of the BESH. Therefore the next fred should be set in a Fight Club style illegal brawling venue.

Will stop cluster posting now.

Well I do need to declutter the flat.

The Original Spirit of the Besh... Definitely tequila.

C'mon LushAries let's RUMBLE

I miss it too. Can you tell?

muse is all about the eroto-violence. Filthy biatch. If that doesn't draw poopy over to the Fred I don't know what will...

Is this it? Have I found the grail mistress? I haven't typed out the questions cos I can't be arsed and I don't want to make it too easy for any other New beavers. Mwah ha ha ha!

1. Do you like gin?

YES, make mine a double with ice and a slice of lime.

1. Bit of both..
2. C or as we like to call it, the flangipani
3. A
4. B
5. Sage green
6. 3 - 2 cats, 1 snake
7. Woody harrelson
8. Shakira

10. Love it, don't go often enough. 11. B - over £100

Can next fred be at some sort of boxing type gym then? Hilary Swank in Million Dollar Baby style

X post Cherry sorry & hello!

Shakira...... interesting choice. As long as she's quiet.

is coz she haz humble breasts?

Welcome, Cherry!

I confuse my breasts with mountains by the way. Pfft.

BOO !! Boo!

BANG.

Thanks ladies!
I live the way shakira moves, I would prefer it if her breasts were MORE mountainous though. She's a bit of a skinny minny these days.

do I get a welcome drink or what??

I would, but I think Cunty just blew up the bar.

You lot have cheered me right up ce soir by the way. Fathers day was shitty. I am still so fucked off about it I am thinking of starting a fred about it in relationships. You've got a stepmother too haven't you Sunny?