Relax and It'll Happen- at the BESH Spa

[starcuntmole]

Unwind and rest your weary wombles as we cater to your every relaxation need. If you've been getting stressed about failing to fertilise for what feels like five hundred years, and your follicles aren't getting any younger, we have the perfect combination of treatments to send you on your way uplifted, and updiffed.
Pampering experiences from head to toe, and all the bits in between, whose benefits stem from the combination of nature?s ingredients and our therapists? highly trained hands and tongues.
Feel the all over healing powers of touch, with one of our speciality Cuban massages (rum and cigarring compulsory) , indulge in a volcanic mud-cake wrap or lose yourself in our unique water experiences: gin jacuzzi, turkish delight baths, and enjoy the Sechseny pool staffed by our attentive in house swimmers. Finally treat yourself to a mani/pedi (polishes come in the full range of colours from Clearly Clear to Russet)

Complimentary bar.
Please note: Robes must be worn in all pubic areas.

Well I recovered enough to do it twice! Not sure what happened there. We haven't done that in about 5 years. Can I have a sick note for the rest of the month now please? If that hasn't done it, nothing will.

I think it's because the solstice is approaching.

yay for gin and a stretcher!

Thanks for jelly B

Impressed with the double sechs Euro

Boo does the BooWoo solstice predict diffment?

Sorry; sechs x 2? What is this? Some curious pagan practice?

I'll go out on a limb and say yes solsticesunshine but my disclaimer is that my woo fred yielded not one diff so I wouldn't bank on it.

Yes but maybe your woo Fred needed a summer solstice

I am on a conference call whilst MNing on my phone. Never going to win employee of the month!

It's the bloody summer solstice. If someone in here doesn't get diffed I'll eat my sunhat.

"summer" solstice? "Summer"? What is this summer of which you speak?

I knew they would be eating their badly chosen words as soon as the word drought was mentioned.

Ooh it is quite summery here today! And i need to do teh sechs tonight. Hopeful the solstice will be lucky! I should have done it yestersay but i had the worst hangover ever. It took me till 4 to recover. But the magic sticks haven't given the orders yet so i think it does not matter.
Twice in one day??! Bloody hell that is impressive!

owl I think sechs x 2 was prompted by me refusing to let hubby have any of the cake I had baked for my dad for father's day because "you don't deserve it as you haven't managed to produce any super sperm that could stick to my teflon womb yet". I think he was out to prove a point. Proof that men respond better to criticism than praise.

But I am definitely taking the day off today. I might limber up for a summer solstice hippy baby making sesh tomorrow though.

That's nice for you Kat

It's been pissing down here all day.

If I am diffed this month I will call the child Luna/Lune, because I will have conceived on the full moon. Is that woo enough for you, Boo?

Hello!! Hello everyone!! Guess who I am! I have changed my name in honour of Wimbledon fortnight. I will change it back again, I promise.

Don't worry about it. I was too stupid to have two names running at once and have messed it up!

I'm confused!

I was on a Wimbledon thread where the talk turned to who would shag whom, naturally enough and everyone has started changing their usernames for comedic effect. I tried it, and then changed back, and then tried to create another account with the IWantToLickRafasBiceps name and it all went WRONG!

I would never have guessed it was you -you are a mistress of disguise with all those exclamation marks Rieanna. How is HesterShaw these days anyway?

Someone else at work has just told me they are diffed with their third child today. So that now makes 8 people in total that I am friends /colleagues with who have baybees in their tum tums (ESH not included). I do believe this is the season and I am choosing to let this give me hope today, instead of being all 'Gah' about it. Bit early for proper 2woofling yet though.

Sechs done. Had better be lucky.

Get off rafa he is all mine. Well ok i might share...

Hello there ladies, may I join you? Been TTC for nigh on 2 years now and bloody hell do I need a spa sesh with some wisdom from those going through similar! Can't really talk to my mates about it as I don't want everyone to know/ don't want to be the no fun whinger in the corner... Line me up a gin and a massage please! Xxc

Hello. Sorry to crash drunkenly into the room visit after such a long absence. Hello to lots of BESHes I have not yet attacked with bar furniture. Headbutts all round :)

Just popped in to see Aries I have been missing you and bloofbanger and wanted you to know I'm gonna do some proper nekkid pagan solstice fertility shiaaaat tomorrow. And I know the Head Witchy person that runs the Witch Museum in , which practically makes me Glenda... so it'll work.

Also Aries Juno is a fab name. Goddess of the moon innit.

Gin? Gin? Is that really you?

I am so pleased to see you! Thank you for popping by. Do I sound needy or what?

Hello Cherry. Welcome but first you must find and complete the BESHtionnaire.

luffs ya mate.