Relax and It'll Happen- at the BESH Spa

[starcuntmole]

Unwind and rest your weary wombles as we cater to your every relaxation need. If you've been getting stressed about failing to fertilise for what feels like five hundred years, and your follicles aren't getting any younger, we have the perfect combination of treatments to send you on your way uplifted, and updiffed.
Pampering experiences from head to toe, and all the bits in between, whose benefits stem from the combination of nature?s ingredients and our therapists? highly trained hands and tongues.
Feel the all over healing powers of touch, with one of our speciality Cuban massages (rum and cigarring compulsory) , indulge in a volcanic mud-cake wrap or lose yourself in our unique water experiences: gin jacuzzi, turkish delight baths, and enjoy the Sechseny pool staffed by our attentive in house swimmers. Finally treat yourself to a mani/pedi (polishes come in the full range of colours from Clearly Clear to Russet)

Complimentary bar.
Please note: Robes must be worn in all pubic areas.

aries I'm so thrilled you got two bars, I felt very vindicated when I got them - PROOF that it was not I who was infertile, but HIM!

bbq sending all manner of BESHly love and pretzelated limbs for this afternoon. Will be thinking of you all day, and not all in a bad way.

aries props on the linage. Lineage?

Will some one tell me to get a move on and get busy. I love not having to wokr on Mondays, but am taking the piss today. Clean wonam, clean.

I have had the lineage/line-age debate with myself before Cunty. Tis an amusing and ironic one, yes?

Sorry, scannage is at 2:30. Must remember to keep me knicks on, I'm getting dildocam withdrawal symptoms.

Barbs good luck again for this afternoon

Aries 2 lines, you say? I wouldn't so much fall on cock as launch myself on one if I were you (any one which happens to be nearby).

(Contrary to impression given by previous post I have not, in fact, spent morning drinking, just didn't have my glasses on. )

I love Glee.

and barbie's wriggly baby kit!! (It's a baby beaver- I looked it up) So so so so so so so so happy for you luffley lady.

Baby Kit!!!

Barb how was scan?

Am on a course this week. It's hurting my head. Some of the other attendees are wankers. And droid is coming.

Fucking hell I'm a miserable old bitch at the minute aren't I!!

Sorry I forgot to come back and update - I never know whether to let you guys know or whether tis insensitive to mention pregnancy bollox on here (owing to the fact I was an oversensitive cow about that subject for years). Scan was fine and the Kit was alive. I think we are still in denial about it all and still not wanting to get excited in case it all goes tits up again, but it's a major hurdle overcome.

Sunny - of course they are wankers. Can you spend time doodling indecent pictures of them instead? Just don't get caught or could be humiliating.

Having had loads of MC (7wks through to 13wks) unfortunately I'd say do what you feel is right for you. I'm so sorry that you're going through this..

I didn't find the natural option too bad, though I felt very shaky (anxious I mean) and wanted someone with me. I kept telling myself it was good practice for when I had a full on labour and baby...saw it as a mini practice run. Shorter and less painful than full term labour (2hrs on the loo) and some people find it's like a really heavy period. It took about 2 weeks before it actually happened for all of them but that's just me and obviously it may not take that long for you, however you may not wish to wait (I had no bleeding so less risk of infection). The up side of having the medical option is at least you haven't got that wait. The ERPC didn't work out for me but I'm sure it's ok for a lot of people. I found the miscarriage association really helpful as I felt so alone after.

Be gentle with yourself you have had such a massive dissappointment, I'm so sorry.

Oh I keep doing this, sorry everyone i was responding to the first page! I'll keep quiet in future!

OIC. I was scratching my head about the non sequitur there! Sorry to hear of your loss.

Anyway, I am hoping for some hooker sechsy time tonight. I have a stinking cold but I am about to lay an egg (I think). So there will be no kissing or slobbering, Just a delivery of white goods. I really don't want him to come down with it or he might not have the energy to keep going through the rest of the egg laying window!

I suggest doing teh sechs from behind then. No need for all that kissing and less risk of contagion. He will not realise that you are just trying to avoid kissing. Is usually quite a speedy method of receiving white goods too.
I am back to pissing on ov sticks. Only day 9 so plenty more sticks to sacrifice. Getting plenty of supply work this week which means at least i will have money.

So pleased about your scan barbie

Rie how are the lines? Have you had them for consecutive days? Do you get them for more than one day? < ponders science of shag dictator >

Science of shag dictator is mental. One line starts dark and gets lighter and the other one starts light and gets darker. The left one gets lighter and the right one goes darker near egg time. You go from one to two bars when left gets lighter as it means estrogen has gone up. When right gets darker you get egg display as that line detects lh surge.

Anyone want the lesson on breaking apart a cb digital?

I have had 2 bars for two consecutive days

Your fertility frightens me aries!

I am shocked, yet highly amused, by Kat's filthy avoidence speed 'em up sex talk! ;) I also didn't know that the sag dictator had multiple lines and stuff.

Bloody hell Kat. That sounds terribly romantic. None of this gazing into each other's eyes bollocks.

How's the shit and puke, Alps? Feeling any better?

PS How are you finding the supply, Kat? Are you with an agency or are you going direct through school/s?

Sag dictator? Aimed at us ancients eh?

aries I've not shit myself or fetched for nearly 18 hours. (Proud)

Well, that's lovely

Have you shown MrA how to check the machine so he knows whether he's on duty or not?

Not exactly. He did read the instructions aloud very slowly and patiently when we first got it, when I was throwing a tantrum about deciphering anything with instructions. And every morning he says "Peed on a stick yet? What did the stick say?" in an interested fashion. And this morning he must have seen the little dish of wee I left by the loo at 6am for late dippage purposes, but politely didn't remark on it. Tomorrow is Day 11. Maybe I will have 3 bars!! Or more likely a day or two more of two bars.

Has anyone ever had two bars which never got to three?