Relax and It'll Happen- at the BESH Spa

[starcuntmole]

Unwind and rest your weary wombles as we cater to your every relaxation need. If you've been getting stressed about failing to fertilise for what feels like five hundred years, and your follicles aren't getting any younger, we have the perfect combination of treatments to send you on your way uplifted, and updiffed.
Pampering experiences from head to toe, and all the bits in between, whose benefits stem from the combination of nature?s ingredients and our therapists? highly trained hands and tongues.
Feel the all over healing powers of touch, with one of our speciality Cuban massages (rum and cigarring compulsory) , indulge in a volcanic mud-cake wrap or lose yourself in our unique water experiences: gin jacuzzi, turkish delight baths, and enjoy the Sechseny pool staffed by our attentive in house swimmers. Finally treat yourself to a mani/pedi (polishes come in the full range of colours from Clearly Clear to Russet)

Complimentary bar.
Please note: Robes must be worn in all pubic areas.

Good work on the painting Kat. Just who is it that decides what names are chav & what names aren't? Some people on MN are just too big for their boots. That's all.

Despite my posturing on that other brooking no argument Fred I very much doubt I am diffed this month. My needles woman said my pulse was rubbish and I am full of cold. And I got stitch on my fecking run.

All in all today I am a bit grumpy. Sorry about me.

I have to agree with Rie, I like Katkin as well. Although good ruse for remembering your birthday Katarina (Ooh, I like that as well).

I am very, very, very excited for such fantabulous news BrownOwl and am so pleased that you got to enjoy the delight of a little heartbeat on the screen.

Katkin am in agreement with name and a bit scared of forceful Rie so would have seconded anyway so think you should update to that. I wouldn't do it to bow to the MN bullies opinion though. It is a nice username though. Props on the painting, I also lose interest after one wall and grumble my way through the rest of the room. Otherwise you could just call yourself 'GreggsSausageRollAndAFruitShootIsAWellBalancedMeal' and be done with it

We have TGB's 19 year old cousin staying with us this week, whilst he is work experiencing in London. This means my telly box is full of computer games every night, so I am off for a bath and then bed. I've been out of the house for 12 1/2 hours today and think the rest of the week will be much the same so an early night is no bad thing anyway.

How about Katquinn?!

Hurrah brown bear!

boo That droid is a cheeky fucker, on a day out too! :(

kat I thought the "un-classy" one's were the "Jaydensmommy" style ones. I didn't know numbers were declasse, how awful for you. Judged, they will be done! "Momoftwopreshusboys".

braaaaahn You've got just 2 days before morning sickness kicks in -make the most of it!

Jaydensmommy, MummyLuvsIckleBabykins...Oh God!

Kat, keep your username. Keep it! Or you could add "InYourFaceBitches" to it. Kat2504InYourFaceBitches

Oooh, I'm going to change my name to OwlBaybeeDustHunBooties.

Brownie do not listen to that there Pone , I never barfed once as I cunningly contracted out all my puking to Bites . Except now when I lean over I sometimes do a little sick in my mouth because my stomach is the size of a walnut. Nothing's fallen out yet though so that is nice. Something to look forward to eh?

Boo Evil droid showing up on day out - why does that always happen? How does it know?? I send commiserations and gin.

KittyTurkeyTwizzler ?

Actually I rather like Rie 's suggestion. I may steal it and become OwlInYourFaceBitches. Nobody wants an owl in the face.

Has anyone else been reading the MN entrance exam thread? The levels of my ignorance know no bounds...! I would FAIL FAIL FAIL!!

So Alps - in your experience, morning sickness kicks in at about 6-7 weeks huh? And InYourFaceOwl - in your experience it kicks in at 6-7 months? I love these hard and fast rules...

You'll all be surprised to hear I have found a bunch of Other Things to fret about...! I believe this goes on throughout pregnancy and gets worse once they're born? I think I'm going to try meditation as a sanity saving measure.

brown By ESH experience it kicks in at 6+5. Everyone breezes around saying "do you know what? This ms is a myth, I feel fiiiiiine". Then at 6+5 they log on and say "I think I want to die now". Some are fine, others, like me, are still vomming the day they give birth.

kat pliz change your name to breastfeedingismingingandshouldneverbedoneinpublic and then go and be vocal in AIBU

Brownie Yup, the fretting doth not cease. Am now 8 1/2 weeks off due date (how the fucking fuck did that happen??) and it's still going strong.

I'm going to have to go and look at the entrance exam now. I bet I wouldn't pass it either.

Thanks for the suggestions! I will see what is available.
Chilling today and then going shopping. Have a day's work supply teaching tomorrow. School sounds dreadful but it will only be a few weeks at most and then i will have cash for our home renovations/summer holiday.

I have now downloaded three "droid" apps on my mobile phone. we will see which one produces a baybee for me in four weeks time. If I get a bfn I will demand my money back from O2. Sounds reasonable enough to me.

kat is it primary or secondary that you teach? I have signed up to do some voluntary work at my local primary one morning a week from September with the aim of doing a primary PGCE the following year. As I believe I may have mentioned, my current job is HORRIBLE and I am thinking about a fresh start. Would you recommend it? Or is it possible that all jobs are HORRIBLE and that is why they pay you?

I teach secondary. French. I hated doing it full time. I've been in it for 9 years. Some of the time I loved it, but I left my last job because it was too stressful dealing with the bad behaviour all the time. Obviously not all schools are the same. Kids will be naughty but if the management are good then things are easier to deal with.
If I was to start over I would do primary not secondary. The hours are long and primary teachers have to do a hell of a lot of admin and assessment. The training year is hard work too. Be prepared to spend lots of evenings and weekends working over the first 2 years.

My biggest tip would be to not do it full time. That is my intention. If I don't work 5 days a week I can get the marking and plannning done to a good standard and still enjoy a life. Primary is competitive at the moment and the jobs market isn't great. Depends very much on where you live though. There are a lot more jobs in the London area it seems.

Um...I used to do primary. I left.

Go figure

Thanks kat I suspect the job market is pretty bad down here (south Wales) which is the main thing putting me off.

I already spend a lot of evenings and weekends working on my PhD which hasn't served to protect me from taking a pay cut so I am thinking it would be more in my interests to do this instead. At the moment I give lectures to the most bored students in the world and the thought of having enthusiastic kids instead feels much more exciting!

Hats off to you for working with teenagers though!

Ah, there you are!

Are you saying I am.... predictable Bitey?

Actually teaching primary would be lovely if you were in a well-run, supportive school, with no insanely PC inclusive policy which was clearly a money saving initiative leaving the teacher with no help to deal with it, with class sizes fewer than 34/5 kids and supportive parents who backed you up in terms of learning and discipline. I didn't have those things. The sensible thing to do would have been to seek another job. I did a very un-sensible thing and left the profession altogether, with its good salary, good (well they were then) pensions, and secure career ladder which would enable me to afford a mortgage and holidays.

Actually, are you a Welsh speaker? If so, you would walk into a job.

at arial No, not a Welsh speaker but I can play the piano

Your experience sounds horrible, and worth considering when applying for jobs. It pays to be choosy doesn't it? I will of course forget this in my desperate hunt for employment in two years time!

I gave up a lovely job with a fairly good salary and pension to do this one. Actually it wasn't a lovely job, it was vay vay stressful but that's not the point. I gave up a permanent contract to come here and get shafted.

Hooray for BOC's Brownie! On my fertility print out from early scans it always has the date (ie. 6+5 or whatever) +/- 5 days on it, as no scan that early can be accurate as it is all so weeny.

Apologies for absenteeism, I have a note from my Dr honest. I have been off work for a month due to vomiting but am back now so will try to keep up with fred. (Awaits spanking).

Which uni are you at bitey? I may be able to get some people killed.

Poor barbie :( although very glad to hear that you're on the mend.

My mum found that RC primary schools veh good, as the priest would always fuck/beat them in to submission if the parents didn't. My sister did her teacher's conversion a few years back with the aim of doing secondary. She completed the course but chose not to apply to teach... not thick-skinned enough methinks. "OI MISS! WHY'S YOUR FUCKING ARSE SO FUCKING FAT?".

I could never in a million years do secondary.

If you can play the piano, then any school will want you Bitey. That's how I ended up in mine - the piano bits were the good bits actually. Christmas, panto, harvest etc. It was the actual teaching and targets that bummed me out. Though if you are intending teaching in Wales, then you'll have less of that crap foisted on you anyway. And if you train in Wales, then you'll have to do the Welsh course, which is freakin hilarious. Dw i'n hoffi yfed cwrw. Dw i'n hoffi sgoldion a selsig.

Welcome back, lovely BB I won't translate the above or it may bring on another bout of vomming. Are starting to feel a little more human, or is it still shit?

I nevah said I was classy. Although child isn't actually called 'macaroon' either.

I have taught teenagers and little kids and I much prefer little kids while they still have a shred of respect but there is that Gangsta's paradise dream all Michelle Pfeiffer-like that you can get their respect

BB how ARE you? :)