Freak out room for those newly updiffed after mc - Part V

[MummyAbroad]

Just found out you are pregnant after a previous miscarriage? There is plenty of support, hand holding and problem-shared-problem-halved going on over here. All welcome to join in.

Fab news ninu and Irene

Irene fx for the results - when do you hear?

wiw so so so pleased for you hon. i was actually holding my breath till i found your news.

irene again so so pleased for you.

i'm a bit nervous about tomorrow as it turns out i'll have to go on my own so thinking sods law says.......

right i'd better go sort out weekend clothes from being away.

Yay for all the positive scan news today :)

pink coccyx is still v sore and am still sitting on cushion at work - it's not helping much!

Am totally stressed out at work because nightmare boss is being her usual self and is being really stroppy at me - things like putting meetings in my diary right at the end of the day so I can't ever leave at my usual time and get my usual train any more. Also hasn't seemed to grasp that I'm really planning to go on mat leave at the start of August and that she therefore needs to recruit a replacement before she disappears for the whole of June and half of July - hasn't even started thinking about advertising for a temp yet. She's planning to refust to let me leave on my planned date - I know this, but I've told her when I'm planning to leave and I'm not intending to change my mind on that. Working until 32 weeks with twins is brave anyway!

Sorry for the me me me post - just felt like a rant

dachs your boss is an arse. Just make sure you follow all the right procedure re taking mat leave etc then just sit back and let her worry about the rest - not your problem. I think 32 weeks with twins is quite far enough!

pink two weeks can make a huge difference to how you feel, and when it comes to it, if you're really struggling, I'm sure they would sign you off again.

DCs are at my parents for the week (school holidays - childcare issues) which means I get back from work mid-afternoon and the house is soooo quiet and now I'm really starting to mental about tomorrow's scan. What if there's no heartbeat or there's something wrong? I booked for 5.50 so dh wouldn't have to leave work too early but now I think I'm just going to be going mad all day! Aaaaagh!!!!! Actually having a baby seems so far away at the minute it's hard to believe that theoretically at least we're a fifth of the way there.

Anyway am going to go and pretend nothing's happening tomorrow. Going to cinema later and working tomorrow so hoping I don't have too much time to worry. But will still be worrying.

irene that's fab! Also brilliant to have effortlessly taken yourself out of the 1st trimester without having to do an extra week!

cep sorry you have to go by yourself. We'll be virtually holding your hand but is there anyone else in RL you could take with you?

tunnocks sorry you're having a hard time. I don't know what braxton hicks feel like but when I had my 12 week scan, the sonographer could see a contraction happening - that freaked me out but she said they happen all the time throughout your pregnancy so maybe that's what's happening to you too?

izz hugs for you - pre scan mentalling is par for the course for us lot, I think it's scarring from the fact that your last one brought you bad news so you're conditioned to expect it again. But there is a good chance that things will be perfect tomorrow (not that I expect that to prevent the mentalling, I know it's not as easy as that!) Going to the cinema is a fab idea. What are you going to see?

dachs arghghghghg your boss is an absolute arse. How are you feeling? I know you were starting to feel nauseous a few weeks ago - did that peter out or kick in? How's the tiredness? I have no idea how you're managing your hours with your commute and twins too - I'm only brewing up one and I am permanently shattered. I've got a few ideas:

• Do you work for a big company? If so, I would definitely visit occupational health. I work for a bank and occupational health started taking an interest right from when I was about 8 weeks, especially as I'd had a miscarriage before.

• Are you able to block out your diary from say, 4pm onwards so that it's not possible for your boss to book meetings in there?

• Alternatively, if she is insisting on making the meetings later, can you speak to her and tell her that you're just not coping with that length of hours and so you'll be starting at, say [10:00] instead of your usual start time?

• If she's really not responsive, go to your GP and tell them how tired and stressed you are feeling, and how unsupportive your boss is being. It's possible for them to complete a sick note that says you're only allowed to go to work if your working hours are modified to a specified pattern e.g. mornings only. Your boss is not allowed to ignore that.

• I think you do quite a long commute too? I commute on the train into London for about 45 mins each way and it is a horrible commute on a super packed train - I'm thinking about starting maternity leave around 30-ish weeks mainly to avoid getting hot and stressed on the train, so I personally don't think you should be bullied into still being there after 32 weeks with twins. izz is right that if you do all your maternity leave stuff by the book there's nothing she can do to refuse it. Also, if things are just getting too much before then, you'll have to just start sick leave before your maternity leave kicks in.

Dach I agree with the others, its your bosses problem, not yours. Start being obstructive - "I'm sorry I cant make that meeting, I have a doctors appointment/not feeling well and am going home early" Also talk lengthily and loudly about things that you plan to do on the first week of maternity leave. Things that involve tickets/reservations etc. I think it is a great idea to get back up from your GP/human resources/occupational health if that is an option.

Dachs I think your boss needs a slap with the biggest fish you can find! What is her problem?!?!?! Definitely go to HR, especially as this is bordering on discrimination. She just can't do that. Is it just you she is mean to, or is she generally like that? If she is like that in general, talk to the lovliest person in HR, you may find that they don't like her/have experienced similar problems with her before. What a bitch eh?!

Izz get plenty or R&R whilst your DCs are away. Shame we can't store it up for other days when we really need it.

Irene fab news on the scan, a wriggly bean is always a fab sight to behold! And lucky you for being a whole week on without any effort. I hope the same happens at my scan on Weds . And then I may be back there with you and Tunnocks as triplets. OMG I hope I haven't got triplets

Plenty of Brian moments here today. Earlier when I was typing my post originally put 10 Stalks. Then went to get some milk and something for tea, went through the checkout and realised I still had my holiday purse on me, which didn't contain my bank card, and I had spent the last of my money at lunchtime. So had to ring DP to come to the rescue
I love baby brain!!!

Izz perfectly natural hon, given what you went through before. Try to keep busy lovely and soon 5.50 will be here
dachs your boss is a cock! Even for a lady! a ladycock even. tell her to naff off! Y'know in my experience of ladybosses, they have been fab around pg and MC but i have heard of lots being awful. Dont let her put you under pressure, you dont need the extra stress... what a witch! MA is right, they cannot by law stop you from going to doc apts so i would start scheduling them for 3.30 pm and then of course there is your antenatal classes & antenatal appts that may miraculously appear in your diary - and they can say DIDDLY SQUAT!

Great scan news
teacake put away your headfuck doppler and bring it out in a few days!! Its probably buried deep in your pelvis! (LIKE MINE!!)

Currently trying to get org'd for easter hols...going to stay with DH on thursday by the beach - whoop... but v disorganised. Monster week before then though.....

dachs so sorry your boss is being a total cowbag, agree with what everyone's said already and really like pinks suggestions, you are legally entitled to all your antenatal and GP appts off work (and you will have more with twins ). Good luck with it and stick to your guns

izz I completely understand why you will be mentalling, will be thinking of you tomorrow xx

cep hope you had a nice wknd away and that you get good news tomorrow too xx

tunnocks hope the swordfish dent has disappeared from your forehead, step away from the doppler!

to everyone else and hopes Collie is ok?

First puke of the pregnancy this morning, damn toothpaste

dach agree with the med cert, they're now called fit notes and there is a space on there to adapt to say can work but under these certain circumstances.

izzy i've still had 2 successful scans his pg and i still get scared witless before a scan, mine's at 10:50 i've got to go to work and be on the phones before i go. not looking forward to it.

pink unfortunately the only people in rl who know are all work people. i told another work person on friday and i've been really scared all weekend that she'll tell someone else and i'll find a note on fb or something. nothing yet thank goodness, but i keep checking.

cep hope that work manages to keep you distracted in a good way, tons of luck for the scan

Izzy best of luck for you too, I know it wont be your "safe zone" scan, but I found knowing that the dates were right and heartspeed was good (anything over 90 is good) really helped me believe bean was growing healthily. Everything crossed that you get fab news. xxx

TUESDAYS LIST
Nickster 24+2 EDD 7/8/11
Orange 20+2 EDD 4/9/11 next scan 20/4/11
Wombat33 19+3 EDD 10/09/11 next scan 27/4/11
Daisybell 18+5 EDD 14/09/11
Pinkfondantfancy 17+1 EDD 25/09/11
Tiggersreturn (TTT) 17+0 EDD 26/09/11 next scan 10/5/11
mamapower 16+6 EDD 28/9/11
DoubleDiffedDachs 15+6 EDD 5/10/11 next scan 18/5/11
Emoo 15+4 EDD 7/10/11 next scan 19/5/11
Lovemysleep 15+0 EDD 11/10/11
Tunnocksteacake 13+1 EDD 24/10/11 next scan 20/04/11
IreneHeron 13+1 EDD 23/10/11
Onions 12+5 EDD 27/10/11 First Scan 20/04/11!
Velvetcu 12+4 EDD 28/10/11
MummyAbroad 11+4 EDD 4/11/11 nuchal 25/4/11
CEP 11+3 EDD 5/11/11
Hils74 10+6 EDD 8/11/11
Katherine2008 10+4 EDD 11/11/11 next scan 3/5/11
Haffertee 10+2 EDD 14/11/11
delilahbelle 9+5 EDD 22/11/11
Mattsmama 9+5 EDD 17/11/11
Ninunina: 9+1 EDD 21/11/11 next scan 12/5/2011
wombatinwaiting: 8+5 EDD 24/11/11
Collie 8+4 EDD 25/11/11
IzzyWizzyletsgetbusy 8+3 EDD 26/11/11 first scan 19/4/11
Banana87 8+0 EDD 29/11/11
LaraMi 7+4 EDD 2/12/11 Next scan - 18/05/11

Thinking of.... hairy; ladybee; digi; A&R; barbie; harassed; MumTum; Knitter

Morning everybody. Wow I've missed so much over the past few days. Sorry I've not been on much, a combination of being shattered and promising dh I would stay off dr google and mn for a couple of days after a mini meltdown and tearful episode on Sunday morning! I've been having the odd quick lurk in the meantime though!!

wiw congratulations from Sunday on your good scan!!! Soo glad it went well!

ninu glad you got yourself to the walk in yesterday and all was fine! I have serious scan envy right now!

irene yay for you too, and for losing a week-that's ace!

dachs your boss is a complete nob and is totally out of line. Like others have said you'd be well within your rights to raise a complaint against her. What is her problem?? I think all of pinks suggestions are spot on. Blocking out your diary in the evening and just telling her no would be a good first step, then if she doesn't listen, go further. I know this will be hard but try not to worry about the mat leave cover. She CANNOT prevent you taking your mat leave at 32 weeks and if she fails to arrange cover, that's her problem not yours as you'll be at home resting taking care of your beans!!!!

pink poor you! make sure you get lots of rest while your off, don't be tempted to feel like you have to 'do' something and be productive with your time. 2 weeks will go quickly but is also enough to get you rested. If not, like someone else said, just go back to your gp.

thanks for checking on me sweet. Still can't see you ob the list glad to hear your dads doing well xx

cep good luck this morning. I wish I could hold you hand in RL but I'm squeezing it virtually and I'll be thinking of you all morning. I'm sure you'll be fine. Xx

izzy good luck for the scan tonight. You'll be fine I know it. Fx for you though xx

Quick me update. Sickness eased Friday night and had nothing all day Saturday. Sunday morn had major temp nosedive (no I'm not still taking it every say just every now and then typically). So that, combined with my annoying period aches sent me into a panic! Anyway, ms back but thankfully only untill the afternoon so far. But exhaustion kicking in now!!! I'm just sooooo tired and I'm not sleeping great either which isn't helping! Totally mentalling out about Scotland as will be away at the point our bean died last time. But today I'm going to ring and book scan for when I get back. Hate the fact I'm having to pack towels and pads and figure out where and how far A&E is from our cottage!!! But other than that, I'm ok. Much calmer now than the weekend anyway! Xx

Morning all, am sneaking back. Hello

Dachs I'm so sorry your spine is still sore - I can't believe your work's attitude. That's got to be illegal, surely? Can your consultant write a really stroppy letter stating that you need to be off work from a certain date?

Pink How are you finding being off? I see you're worried about going back - can you go back part time? I have to see occupational health today before work will let me back, and even then its only going to be 2 or 3 days a week initially, to see how I get on.

Blackkat great to hear your dad is home

Tunnocks sorry to hear you're worrying about the cramps. I think I may be getting something similar - occasional period pains. Am not really getting movement, although occasionally it feels like something is bouncing in my fanjo

Yay to everyone else for the good scanning news. Right, what else have I missed??????? Ah yes breakfast - I'm going for eggy bread - anyone joining me?

gaaaaahhhhhh wrote a long message and stupid horrible laptop deleted it!!!

so, shortened version...

collie you poor thing. I promise the cramps are completely normal - I remember speaking to the lovely consultant about it and he assured me that it's either your uterus stretching or your bowels working on something exciting . Also, I noticed on the pregnancy boards yesterday there were lots of people panicing about symptoms disappearing around 8 weeks or so, which is where I think you are? So I think it's very common. I really think you should give the temping a miss though - as you say you're not sleeping well so your drop in temperature is most likely only reflecting that. Huge hugs though, can completely understand why you freaked out. It's not a good time at 8 weeks either as the 12 week scan still feels a long way away.

daisy going back part time sounds really sensible - that way you've got the option to either increase your hours or cut back if necessary. I'm planning to go back full time, but see how I'm doing, and if I'm really struggling by late afternoon, maybe leave a bit earlier or something. Am keeping everything crossed that I'm going to be feeling much more awake by then though. Being off work is great as it means I can have a sleep every afternoon but as someone else said, there's an overwhelming urge to get stuff done but actually I'm just so tired that I end up doing an embarrassingly small amount other than sleeping most days.....

Ooooooh eggy bread - yes please!! With sugar and cinnamon too please!

ALL THE BEST OF LUCK TODAY scandudes - izz and cep, (hope I didn't miss anyone!), I'll be thinking of you.

Just a quickie to wish cep good luck for this morning - I'll be thinking of you!

Good l;uck for today cep and izzy

Ps Freakout room wisdom, is my name better capitalised?

yrmotb bizarrely, I think I preferred it as it was before but I have no idea why!! I do fear change though...

Thanks for all your good wishes everyone, will update tonight!

Fingers crossed for good scans today, Cep and Izz.

Dachs hopefully your boss's behaviour will come to bite her in the arse, especially if she's dragging about getting maternity cover. Don't let her bully you, I'm sure your doctor will back you up.

People who've had their nuchal, did you get a hint of the result straight away or did they say they had to send it in the post or ring you? I can't remember with DS, but I wasn't mentalling then. Am running the scan through my head and the radiographer's very serious expression, I'm hoping it was because bean was in a difficult position and she was concentrating rather than because she was concerned.

Morning All

Good luck today scanners - thinking of you.

My turn to stress. My sickness was shortlived - only about three days. Bearing in mind my mum and sis both had appalling sickness I am petrified mine is supposed to also be bad and therefore that something is wrong.

Plus I am sure I am supposed to have more symptoms.

BTW - is it normal to get a weird stretching sensation in my lower, lower stomach at night? I hope it's my uterus stretching. My skirt was super tight this AM. Hoping it's pg bloatedness and not just the fact I'm getting fat.

Sorry for me, me, me post but am so stressed!

Mmm, I think I do too izz. In my mind it sounded more like the song, IYSWIM..

YRMOTB I like it better capitalised I think, although can't remember what it looked like before!!

Irene I had mine privately so probably not helpful, but I got results straight away. Try not to read too much into the serious face-the dr struggled to get all the readings for mine, because pinkbean only really wanted to show her its bum so I would have thought it would just be concentration. Did they not say at the time when you'd get the results? That's rubbish!!

Lara I was stressed about the same thing as my mum was very sick, and I haven't been really, but so far so good-I think it varies a lot from pregnancy to pregnancy and so doesnt mean doom. Also, stretching is good, and tight skirt sounds about right too. I was very bloated, it might be that?

Thanks Pink... I guess I'm constantly finding stuff to stress about. Today I even panicked in case I have a MC in the office today cos I'm wearing quite high heels (so can't run to a hospital) and a summary skirt with no tights (so blood could drip on office carpet). Ridiculous I know....