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Original poster

Freak out room for those newly updiffed after mc - Part V

994 replies

MummyAbroad · 13/04/2011 13:29

Just found out you are pregnant after a previous miscarriage? There is plenty of support, hand holding and problem-shared-problem-halved going on over here. All welcome to join in.

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Velvetcu · 13/04/2011 17:31

:( knitter I am so, so sorry to hear your news. I was so hoping for things to be ok for you. I hope you have people around you who will be looking after you over the coming weeks/months and remember we are here if you need us although I understand if you don't. I am really gutted for you :( take care xxxxxx

mattsmama glad you had a good scan

KnitterNotTwitter · 13/04/2011 17:45

Thanks for all the lovely words ...

I have a thread going on the Testing board which I'm going to post on about things for the time being as I don't want to divert this board from its proper purpose... It'd be lovely to see some of you over there if you feel inclined to keep tabs on me.

DH and I have discussed 'what next' after the termination and agreed that we definitely will be trying again... So hopefully I'll be back on this board before long... :)

I'll lurk here to keep track of the progress that you and your lovely beans make over the coming weeks and months. All the best ladies...

OrangeGloss · 13/04/2011 17:48

Knitter I'm so so sorry to hear that, my heart goes out to you both :( :( xxxxx

Matsmama congrats on the scan :)

lily06 · 13/04/2011 18:00

So sorry Knitter, after everything you've been through you deserve some good luck and happiness. Thinking of you. x

DoubleDiffedDachs · 13/04/2011 19:04

I figured it was about time to put my next scan date on here - and they updated my due date at the 12 weeks scan so i've updated it below as well

Wednesday's list

Nickster 23+3 EDD 7/8/11
Orange 19+3 EDD 4/9/11 next scan 20/4/11
Wombat33 18+4 EDD 10/09/11 next scan 27/4/11
Daisybell 17+6 EDD 14/09/11
Pinkfondantfancy 16+2 EDD 25/09/11
Tiggersreturn (TTT) 16+1 EDD 26/09/11 next scan 10/5/11
mamapower 16+0 EDD 28/9/11
DoubleDiffedDachs 15+0 EDD 5/10/11 next scan 18/5/11
Emoo 14+5 EDD 7/10/11 next scan 19/5/11
Lovemysleep 14+1 EDD 11/10/11
Tunnocksteacake 12+2 EDD 24/10/11 next scan 20/04/11
Onions 11+6 EDD 27/10/11 First Scan 20/04/11!
Velvetcu 11+5 EDD 30/10/11
IreneHeron 11+2 EDD 26/10/11
MummyAbroad 10+5 EDD 4/11/11
CEP 10+4 EDD 5/11/11
Hils74 10+0 EDD 8/11/11
Katherine2008 9+5 EDD 11/11/11 next scan 3/5/11
Haffertee 9+3 EDD 14/11/11
delilahbelle 8+6 EDD 22/11/11
Mattsmama 8+6 EDD 17/11/11
Ninunina: 8+2 EDD 21/11/11 next scan 12/5/2011
wombatinwaiting: 7+6 EDD 26/11/11 first scan on 17/04/11
Collie 7+5 EDD 25/11/11
IzzyWizzyletsgetbusy 7+4 EDD 26/11/11 first scan 19/4/11
LaraMi 6+5 EDD 2/12/11 Next scan - 18/05/11

Thinking of.... hairy; ladybee; digi; A&R; barbie; harassed; MumTum; Knitter

knitter still thinking of you. Hope you have lots of RL support.

mattsmama Glad you had a good scan.

banana87 · 13/04/2011 19:19

knitter huge hugs.

Mattsmama great news!

katherine2008 · 13/04/2011 19:31

Yay for Mattsmama

mamapower · 13/04/2011 20:35

knitter I am so sad for you and your DH, life can be so cruel, I can't begin to imagine the emotional roller coaster you have been on. I'll be thinking of you over the coming days. Take care of yourself, lots of love xxx

Ninunina · 13/04/2011 20:43

knitter I'm so so so sorry this has happened. I don't know what to say to console you, I can't begin to imagine what you're going through.

My thoughts are with you tomorrow. I hope you have the support you'll need in RL. We're all here for you if you need some extra support xxx

Original poster
MummyAbroad · 13/04/2011 21:03

knitter's news has really knocked me for six today. I feel gutted for her, scared for myself and so angry that its all so unfair. Suffering mc is bad enough (or in knitter's case 2!) so why arent we all given a free pass on foetal abnormalities? How can this happen to anyone? and especially someone so lovely? Sad

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Velvetcu · 13/04/2011 21:23

mummya I know what you mean I'm so very gutted for her too and am shitting myself about my NT scan on Friday. I know that we probably say it a lot but it is so unfair!! Why do some people get to sail through when they totally don't deserve to have children?

I also feel useless because there is absolutely nothing we can say that will make her feel any better :( it's sad because I feel like lots of us have really bonded over the past year or so and so I feel as sad/angry/worried/relieved about you lot as I would over my rl friends.

IzzyWizzyletsgetbusy · 13/04/2011 23:11

velvet and mummya I know - I have to admit I had to vanish into the loos at work and shed a few tears when I read knitter's news today - so gutting and so very very unfair Sad

It feels like we've been through so much together and I'd just love to see a happy ending for everyone. Sometimes life can be unbelievably cruel.

velvet I'll be thinking of you Friday, fx it'll all be fine x

And hopefully we'll see knitter back here soon too x

wombatinwaiting · 14/04/2011 05:51

V pleased to hear your news mattsmama - how long to chew your nails until the next one? Smile

Good luck for your scan tomorrow velvet.

Is anyone else getting really extreme dreams? I'm quite a vivid dreamer anyway, but in the last 2 nights I have had the following: an affair with a detested colleague, trying to save a nice colleague from being eaten head first by a crocodile, sympathising with a dad who kidnapped his kids and took them to Sri Lanka and trying to escape from a really tall building in an earthquake (although to be fair I was in central Christchurch in Feb when they had their earthquake).... Confused

Daisybell1 · 14/04/2011 08:37

Knitter I'm so sorry to hear your news. I will be thinking of you
xxxxxx

LaraMi · 14/04/2011 08:57

Knitter - thought about you so much last night and this morning - hope you're okay.

Wombatinwaiting - I have had v vivid dreams - a MC the night before last, another very gory MC last night and an affair with a friend. I am also sleeping appallingly, body temp way too high and needing to pee three times a night.

Collie2 · 14/04/2011 09:43

Morning everyone.

knitter I hope you are holding up ok? My thoughts have been with you.

matts yay for they good scan

mummya yay for good scan too not sure if I said that yesterday! Ds sounds soo cute wanting a closer look!

wiw yes I have been having more vivid dream too, although not quiet as traumatic as wrestling with crocodiles!! The weired thing is I seem to know inam dreaming, which was never really the case with my dreams before as I just to get quite shaken up by any bad ones I had!

kat2504 · 14/04/2011 10:08

Lara I've been having the mc dreams too it's really unpleasant and especially when you are tired enough as it is. No crocodiles in my dreams though!

Still feeling absolutely gutted for knitter today and has certainly put my own mentalling into perspective. If ever there was anyone who had already been through enough and deserved a happy outcome she would be top of the list. Knitter, am amazed by your strength and courage and hope that trying again will work out for you.

well, having a day off doing moving house stuff today so intend to put feet up and wait for new mobile to arrive!

wombatinwaiting · 14/04/2011 10:53

Hear hear kat - very well put. Knitter - you have been so gracious and brave throughout this and my thoughts are still very much with you.

Haven't yet had the mc dreams but I feel quite sure they are just around the corner (hopefully minus crocodiles!)

lara - do feel free to contact me for emergency docs here etc. (although I am quite sure you won't need them) -I'd be v happy to help.

Emoo · 14/04/2011 12:10

Mattsmama - hooray for a good scan!

Knitter have posted on your other thread x

tiggersreturn · 14/04/2011 13:11

Wombat - maybe you've been reading too much news? I have a phobia of crocodiles so any dream with them in is a really bad nightmare.

Original poster
MummyAbroad · 14/04/2011 13:57

hello ladies,

I have also been having disturbed sleep - keep thinking about DS's birth, having weird dreams and also getting up to pee. I am going to treat myself to a big pregnancy pillow soon. I didnt have one with DS and am hoping it will make a big difference.

I am starting to panic about screening and diagnostic tests now. They are not routinely offered here in Costa Rica because terminations are illegal, so they dont want to give people bad news and then not have any options of what to do about it. I would like to get tested and then if there was a problem, get on a plane very quickly. Many private doctors will do the nuchal scan and amnio but I havent found out where or if I can get the bloods done or CVS if I need/want it. CVS is done early than amnio (12 weeks vs 16 weeks) so that would be much better but then again I dont really want to do it with a doctor who hardly ever performs them because nobody else does them here! Have been putting off doing more research because it all seems so scary, but I am going to make a bigger effort today and have a ring around. Are there any other ex-pats on the thread in a similar quandry?

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IzzyWizzyletsgetbusy · 14/04/2011 14:20

not an ex-pat obviously but thought I'd answer...it seems odd that private drs will do the scan but don't do the bloods; I would ring round and double-check that. I can see the CVS might be a problem (fwiw personally I wouldn't want it done by someone who didn't routinely do them because I understand mc rates can vary quite a lot and wouldn't want to take an increased risk of mc a healthy baby). However if you have the nuchal scan and bloods and they come back ok you won't need to worry about that bit.

Not very helpful I know but if I were you I would try and find someone to do the nuchal + bloods and then look at my options when I got the results from that.

Bit of a weird day today...having felt quite nauseous over the last week or so I'm feeling pretty good today - so naturally I am having a slight . However it has occurred to me that I would usually be at work at this time, and haven't noticed any nausea at work, so I'm wondering if it's just been coming on in the early evening and I'm just thinking about it more today?

oh and DS (7.5) patted my tummy today and asked me if I was PG Hmm. I fibbed of course, but really, how do they know?!!

LaraMi · 14/04/2011 14:31

MummyA - makes sense to look into it, but PLEASE tell me you're not finding yoursef something ELSE to worry about, now that the stress of your scan is over.

I have managed to convince myself I have to not be PG... (on account of lack of symptoms). However, that said, am absolutely shattered. Today am working from home and have only left the bed to eat / use the bathroom Blush. For me that is exceptionally abnormal - I am normally extremely active and up at the crack of dawn rushing around. I even fell asleep at 11am this morning, laptop on duvet... oops...

cep · 14/04/2011 14:32

knitter thinking of you lots today, hope you're ok.

lara i had a couple really horrile mc dreams and some just bizarre ones.

i need someone to hit me with a fish, or two, or the whole bloody counter. I keep seeing single magpies, some even off in the distance so can't actually see if it's on it's own or not. But keep thinking that's it, it's officially doomed now. I keep imagining being in the scan and being told the bad news again. I've had no blood since last thursday,so no real reason for thinking all over i just can't shake the feeling. Last time i was 11+5 when i found out it had died (although it died at 7 weeks) so i'm wondering if because that's coming round again that's giving me the bad feelings. i really hope i get my scan soon.

Original poster
MummyAbroad · 14/04/2011 14:34

mmmmmmm

thanks Izzy I have only asked one doctor about bloods so far and he didnt have much of a clue about them. I can phone my local laboratory (who did my HCG's for me) and ask them, I think I have gleened from the internet which ones are needed and also found a program online which does the overall calculation for you. (feel very Confused about using something that I have cobbled together myself of the internet!) This might sound wierd but the other thing that worries me is that I might not be able to trust what the doctors say about the nuchal scan. Because they are getting paid lots, and have no solution to offer if its bad news, I really feel that they wont have a vested interested in being accurate, I think they are more likely to spin it a bit and tell you what you want to hear. I totally agree about CVS risk, but am still hoping I can find an experienced person to do it, so that I can get a clear answer. I had amnio with DS (high blood results, scan too late to do nuchal) and although it was scary, it was really good after knowing all was well. Having a pregnancy without a diagnostic test feels daunting, but I guess that is actually the norm for millions of women.

Your DS is very astute! My DS has started kissing my tummy now and telling me he has a "friend" in there Smile. Its lovely, last pregnancy he was a year younger and really oblivious. For me nausea was totally related to physical exertion, more rest = less nausea. Perhaps the journey into work itself makes you feel more sick?

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