Freak out room for those newly updiffed after mc - Part V

[MummyAbroad]

Just found out you are pregnant after a previous miscarriage? There is plenty of support, hand holding and problem-shared-problem-halved going on over here. All welcome to join in.

Hi there
Congrats to hairy on the bfp. Hope things have calmed down a bit for minnie and battery.

I felt sooo sick and grotty on Friday and Sat I thought I'd never feel better. I couldn't really stomach any food (after eating constantly in the first few weeks food is no longer my sickness cure). DH did complain about my moaning, but only in a very gentle way. Then Sunday, pow - only mild nausea (can cope with that!) and way less sore boobs - cue constant worry that it's all over again. Arrrghh, this really is a crazy rollercoaster of a ride isn't it. Can't help wishing months of my life away right now and then feeling very bad as that means wishing away most of Summer and doesn't feel very balanced or mentally stable at all!

Oh, I've also managed to get some very strange sharp pain deep in my buttock cheek that only seems to hurt when I've been sat or laid down. It keeps me awake at night as it really hurts when I turn over (which I do a lot). Looks like it might be sciatica or something (from middle of the night googling!).

Doo - to reiterate what I try and tell myself on a daily basis... symptoms come and go....!

Doo pillow between the knees when you're sleeping to keep your hips aligned. Helps my pg-induced sciatica no end!

Anyone who's suffering with sciatica or spd......get yourselves to a chiropractor!! Really worth the money.

I've just eaten a big spoonful of pickle. Straight from the jar. I couldn't help it.

Where can I buy lemonade lollies like the icecream man sells?? Please........

I think the cravings have kicked in .

Hi all

Lara yep weekly. I had an IVF clinic in London monitor the pregnancy (they were investigating the MC) and they did weekly scans to make sure all was well. Weekly blood tests too to see if needed to adjust medication. They were fab and helped a lot with the mentalling but the flip side is that they stop regular scanning at 12 weeks so was a long wait for the next scan!! Sounds like you've had a v boring day!! Did you puke Kiev??? That sounds unpleasant-I puked twiglets including through my nose last week-v v nasty!!! :)

Sorry v bad memory and on phone so can't scroll! On drinks, im addicted to apple juice mixed 50/50 with water.

jiggle sorry you're having probs with DH. how about trying couples counselling? I think hormones make you feel weird about relationship stuff too which doesn't help.

Minnie and battery how are you doing today?

harrassed I'm with you on the constant eating! I just wish I fancied healthy stuff-I'm loving hula hoops and french fries at the moment. Also had a bizarre need for spaghetti hoops in the supermarket earlier-haven't eatn't them since I was a student! Those lemonade lollies were gorgeous though and the cider ones!

lara I see I'm not the only one googling weird symptoms. Bit worrying considering dp's mate sometimes comes round to borrow our computer. Can't imagine what he'd think to 'brown cm in week 7 of pregnancy' when it pops up on the history!

jiggle sorry about the stress with dh. All this ttc and mc stuff is so stressful. I'm worrying that since I got my bfp I haven't even thought about doing the deed. Worried it'll set off another mc which I know is probably irrational. Dp pretty good about it at the moment but I can't see it lasting much longer!

Thanks for all the positive messages about getting a scan- it's made my mind up and I'll aim for one on Wed I think. Dp thinks yes though a few people at work think we're mad (not a mc between em I may add!). Bleeding not too bad just brown now. Also realised yesterday would have been the first day of an af so maybe that's just it. Fx

Ok, this will be my last post on the topic then I'll just inbox the people who can make it;

I'm going to visit mamaps wine bar/restaurant at some point in the next couple of months. Let me know if you want to come and I'll get organising.

I know I've sent this before but I cant remember who replied!

Minnie ignore what people at work think-they have no clue what being pg after MC feels like. I haven't DTD since BFP either, and to be honest I can't see myself psyching myself up for it until at least 28 weeks..... I've read that the cells of your cervix change when pg so there's a chance you'll bleed-not that it sets off a MC but I could really do without the stress of bleeding....

Someone on the train is eating wotsits, they smell AMAZING!!!

velvet I'm keen! I'm trying to get there with my family too but would love to meet you all so happy to go twice!

Evening all and apologies in advance for the me me me post. I'm feeling depressed and scared today

For the last couple of days I've been feeling a lot less pg and today I feel nothing at all - no tiredness, no nausea and my boobs aren't sore in the slightest. I don't feel any different to normal and I wouldn't have the faintest clue I was pg if I hadn't had a BFP.

I should be 6+4 today and this is around the time it all went wrong before. I KNOW symptoms come and go and I've been telling myself that but today I have the same feeling in my bones that I had last time - that something is wrong. I know it's irrational but I've been crying my eyes out because I can see it all unfolding in exactly the same way .

What should I do? I haven't had any bleeding yet but then last time I only started to bleed about a week after the symptoms stopped. I don't think my EPU will give me a scan unless I'm bleeding.

Should I call the EPU and see if I can persuade them to scan me? Maybe I should go private - pink where do you go in London?

Or should I just sit it out and pray? Maybe it's better not to know and to deal with it if and when it happens...

Aaagh sorry for the mentalling, I just don't know what to do with myself

hadrian sorry you are worrying. My epu wont scan without a midwife referral but you could always lie and say you are bleeding a bit. At least it will put your mind at ease.

hadrian sorry you're having a rubbish time. Thing is, once the idea it's all gone wrong gets in your head it just keeps going round and round and there's nothing you can do about it until you see some evidence that everything's ok (if you're anything like me). You could try the EPU like velvet says but in my area you have to go through a GP and even then they make you wait quite a few days. If you're in London, IIRC there's a walk-in EPU somewhere central, sorry I can't remember which hospital but hopefully someone who can remember will be along soon. Otherwise if you wanted to go private the Fetal Medicine Centre were fab for my 12 week scan and I know they do early pregnancy scans too. xx

hadrian I would lie too. It's all for peace of mind. My symptoms are honestly coming and going a lot, but am a week behind you. If it makes you feel better, I'd just fib to the epu a bit. Hugs x

UCH and I think Guys and Tommys have walk in EPU (I went to UCH with the mc).

hadrian sorry you're having a crap time. I agree with the others - lie and get yourself a scan or go to a walk-in. Hope it all works out for you. Privately there are loads of London places that do it - FMC is one of the best but there is also the London Ultrasound Centre who will do early scans.

Thanks for the advice everyone. I went to UCH last time and don't think I can face going to that EPU again - all I remember is sitting in those bloody uncomfortable seats facing the wall and waiting for hours on end for someone to see me. Actually maybe it wasn't that bad, I'm just feeling a bit negative about everything right now

I like the sound of the Fetal Medicine Centre, thanks for the tip pink. I think I'll see if I can make an appointment there for next week when I should be more than 7 weeks. I know it's a lot of money but your're right, it's about peace of mind.

Oh god it's all so agonising!

Morning all. Sorry you're having a tough time hadrian. I agree with the others that a private scan might be the way to go-my EPU actually told me to say I was bleeding next time I needed a scan but I hate the hassle/stress involved with fibbing so I had a private one last preg.

It's no consolation but I've felt the same since Sunday and my loss of symptoms, that's even after a good scan on Friday. It's soo torturous isn't it. I've woke in the middle night the last three nights, dreaming that it's all gone at the next scan. It's the boobs bit that worries me as that went before with my MMC and then I convince myself that I can't feel the pg at all like last time and it's gone. During the day I can be a bit more rational and listen to the ladies on here, but in the middle of the night I'm completely irrational.

Anyway, hope you get the scan booked in and feel a liitle calmer as a result x

Morning Ladies and I hope we all calm as the day progresses. We need to remember the mantra - symptoms come and go!

Had a freak out this AM. Was late for work. Spent 20 mins standing in my knickers in front of my wardrobe freaking out cos nothing fits.

Also freaking out cos scan is in a week's time and I'm terrified.

Also freaking out cos I'm not, erm, belching that much this AM.

Also freaking out after hearing about Kelly Brook... V sad. But surely, leaving Mahiki and various other clubs at 2am, jetsetting between LA and London etc can't be good for a growing bean... anyone else have a mini freak out after hearing about her loss?

Yum - wotsits.... just made an emergency stop at M&S for orange juice.

Good luck to any scanners today?

ps - Tommy's walk in is supposed to be very good - one of the lovely ladies on this group went there a few weeks ago if I recall.

ps - happy to go on a school trip to MamaP's too with you all - would be fun. Bet we don't discuss half our gross symptoms face to face!

larami i'm chanting the mantra now. I'm being quite good during the day, it's just the dreams and waking in the middle of the night, they make you think 'perhaps i know something'. I've actually considered a short sharp slap round my own face these last few days.

Didn't know about Kelly Brook, very sad news indeed.

Hi, I've been in for my recurrent mc tests and they are all clear. She things it's egg quality due to age.

So I have an eight week scan booked on 7th June, but I don't know if I'll go to it - I might just wait til 12 weeks and then we'll know for sure what's happening.

Feel like shit today :( Having to go back there was horrible. It's where I have lost two babies and had endless conversations about it.

Hairy - which hospital? Have you considered moving to another? I had ds at st mary's but switched to uch for the next one as at that time they allowed people with my condition to go to 40 weeks instead of 39 and I was intent on having a vbac. The mc was at uch and they handled it appallingly on a systemic basis to the extent that I had no confidence in their ability to look after me. Since I was already under st mary's for diabetes and then got referred to fertility there it made sense to remain for this pg. So far seems to have been a good decision. I wouldn't say it's absolutely brilliant but I do know how to make the system work for me which is important and gives me some comfort. I did consider going to uch again very briefly when I finally got my bfp but thought that I wasn't up to having to deal with them again, even though it's a more convenient location for work and home, and also I felt it had a bad aura from the mc.

sorry just saw hairy's post

sweetheart I felt like you in previous pregnancies, what's the point of early scans, it won't change anything etc etc, but actually there IS statistical evidence that the whole TLC approach of support and regular scans reduces the MC rate.

Of course there's no guarantee that a successful scan at any stage equals trouble free rest of pregnancy (sadly as we know from too many examples on here, and even in the news today, there is no definite from even a 12 week scan, which we tend to think of as a "if I can just get there I'll be ok". But the truth is, we don't know that :().

But you have to do what is best for you - if you can NOT panic too much (logically that can't be great for a bean), then if waiting til 12 weeks is right for you then do it.

wave to everyone else - sorry for hijack

Hairy - only you know how you feel but I'd urge you to have an early scan. It might just offer you that reassurance that things are going according to plan and I do believe that a better state of well being can do no end of good. It might reduce some of the initial angst.

I actually wish I'd had more scans than the only scan I had at 6 weeks.

Jollster - good to hear from you too. This thread has been way too quiet the past couple of days.

Another panic to add to my list - no symptoms today.

Hairy I had a scan at 6 weeks (last week) and it's really helped to reassure me. So far. Hoping I can persuade them to scan again around 8/9 weeks as had mmc in Jan. I don't want to get to 12 week scan only to be told it's all gone wrong weeks ago...........

Jollster thank you for the words of wisdom. I really wish they'd scan us all regularly, just for peace of mind.