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Original poster

Freak out room for those newly updiffed after mc - Part V

994 replies

MummyAbroad · 13/04/2011 13:29

Just found out you are pregnant after a previous miscarriage? There is plenty of support, hand holding and problem-shared-problem-halved going on over here. All welcome to join in.

OP posts:
randomimposter · 10/05/2011 14:35

yeah I'm not sure my post was that clear Confused... I have changed my approach and would definitely take advantage of any offered scans; I would get 6/8/10/12 weeks offered at the EPU as I'm on the RecMc list.

Sadly it's not going to be relevant this time; was never very confident that my BFPs were strong enough and have started to MC today. But hey I've never had a Chemical Pregnancy before (am only 4+4), I can add it to the set HmmGrin. Onwards and upwards people, onwards and upwards!

harassedinherpants · 10/05/2011 14:47

Oh I am so very sorry Jollster Sad. You have a great attitude though.

LaraMi · 10/05/2011 14:49

Oh no Jollster - so sorry to hear it... I am sure you will be back here soon but next time with the stickiest, gooiest BFP in the history of BFPs. Take care.

PinkFondantFancy · 10/05/2011 15:24

jolls I'm so so sorry to head about your CP-I've had one too and they suck :(

hairy sorry you've had such a horrible day. Don't cancel the 8 week scan yet-see how you feel when you get closer to it xx

owlbooty · 10/05/2011 16:00

Aw Jollipops :( Shit and buggeration. I have also had a CP and had the same uneasy feeling you describe - onwards and upwards indeed and a very large virtual glass of sauv blanc coming your way x

nickstermum · 10/05/2011 16:06

Bollocks Jpops :( i really thought this was your time xx Will you go back to have tests? Or is there any test you havent yet had?

Hairy understand you wanting but also not wanting the scan... weigh up the pros and cons and see what works for you best x

cep · 10/05/2011 16:17

jolls so sorry to hear your news.

DoubleDiffedDachs · 10/05/2011 16:26

oh jolls I'm sorry Have a Wine

hairylights · 10/05/2011 16:31

So sorry jolls :(

Cd 29 for me and af due date. I do have some mild cramps, but the fat lady hasn't sung yet so fx.

I have had a bit of a melt down day... And am off for a two day conference
later :(

Today's news wasn't what I wanted to hear, because there us absolutely nothing I can do about it. And I fear the time to give up may be soon if weeny hairy doesn't make it. (this ones name is weeny because that's
what it is).

It's hard to stay positive.

nickstermum · 10/05/2011 16:43

Hairy. wasnt it Dachs who was told about egg quality...? Have you looked into things you can do to improve eggs? From memory there seems to be quite a lot of info on Dr Google...but am sure this weeny one will be fine. x

hairylights · 10/05/2011 16:49

Thanks everyone for your posts. In Wales we don't have patient choice so we don't get to choose ...one bad thing about having our own assembly govt. I am bound to one Nhs trust. And at forty three I'll likely want to stay away from the midwife led unit because it's 20 miles from the consultant led unit and I'm high risk due to my age. So I'm stuck with the royal gwent which is where I had my last two mc.

I'm sorely tempted to just have a private scan at twelve weeks (if we get that far) because I can't cope with even setting foot in the Epu (I feel really traumatised by it ... It's a truly awful place) and I can't cope with an inconclusive six week scan with a request to come back the week
after or an eight week heartbeat but a dead baby at ten or twelve. :( been there in the last six months and am scarred by it.

In previous pregnancies I've had scans at six, seven, eight and ten weeks but I just dont feel I can face the "is it/isn't it going to be ok" thing.

I don't intend to do the booking in appointment til after 12 weeks either.

DoubleDiffedDachs · 10/05/2011 16:50

hairy this si what my clinic said about improving egg quality:

  1. lose weight (if you're overweight)
  2. stop smiknig and drinking (if you do)

otherwise not a lot you can do.

However, statistically some of them will be perfectly fine anyway - otherwise I woudln't be pg now.

I don't think they really know a lot about what you can do to improve egg quality, but given that I'm still pregnant there's hope for everyone because mine were totally buggered. Low quality, low reserve.

CollieandPup · 10/05/2011 16:57

jolls I'm so sorry to hear you have started to mc. Sad I admire your strength and attitude though. I hope you're here again soon with another bfp and extra sticky bean.

hairy sorry you are so worried and didn't get the news you'd hoped for. How old are you? Like nickster said I think there is lots you can do to try to improve egg quality, but hopefully it won't come to that. AF not showing is a good news. Yay for that! Personally I'd have the early scan. I know a heathy early scan doesn't mean all will be fine, but it might help at least reassure you abd help you feel a bit more positive, even if just for a few days? I know it's not straight forward, as I think scans also make you more attached, so a loss could be harder. Ps, welcome and congrats by the way x

hairylights · 10/05/2011 17:09

collie yes it's the attached thing bothers me.

With bean no 2 we saw her at six weeks then with heart beat at eight, booked in, re assured things were likely to be fine, but she died at 8 1/2 weeks and we found out at ten :(

With bean no 3 they said at six weeks it hadn't grown enough and we had a week of horrible uncertainty then another scan showed no more growth and I had medical management and saw the sac.

I can't bear the thought of either happening again.

hairylights · 10/05/2011 17:11

Hi dachs. Thank you hon.

I quit smoking a year ago and hardly ever drink. I am a little over weight and I'm doing slimming world ATM (after bingeing my way through the mcs).

I just hope I got a good un this time!! You give me faith x

katherine2008 · 10/05/2011 19:23

Jols so sorry to hear your news. You are incredibly brave and I look forward to seeing you back here really soon. I am so far behind and just can't keep up at the moment - but hoping minnie and harrassed are both doing ok. Hairy I'm 40 if that helps at all. I got my nuchal results today - 1/663 which is low risk but feels quite high. What do you all think? DD1 (2.5 years ago) was 1/6000...

waves to collie, nicks, Dachs (how's the behind?), cep, hadrian, pink, mummya (how's the job going?), mamap, Lara, doo, tigger, bfp and all wombats and izzy and daisy.. god who have i left out. Special iced buns, kfc and cheesey omelettes for anyone I've missed. I can't scroll back so am trying to do this from memory.

Velvetcu · 10/05/2011 19:39

jolls so sorry to hear your news :(

katherine you missed me! yuck to the kfc/omlettes (am still very anti-protein here atm) but I'll take the iced buns :)

I am stressing about Kelly Brooke - has nightmares last night and its why I didnt post yesterday.

On the plus side, velvetbean has been wriggling a lot this evening to reassure me :)

tiggersreturn · 10/05/2011 20:18

Jolls - really sorry to hear your news.

Daisybell1 · 10/05/2011 20:35

Jolls I'm so sorry to hear your news.

Hairy do you have any private scanning centres near by? We had a private NT scan, as my NHS don't offer them, and it was worlds apart from a hospital - comfy chairs, pretty walls, brilliantly clear technology. I felt very relaxed, whereas all my NHS scans have freaked me out. Would that be an option for you?

Velvet it is worrying isn't it, but please don't fret, you have lots of reassuring little wriggles from velvet bean PM'd you earlier - can I come on your field trip?

Hello to everyone else!!!!

hairylights · 10/05/2011 20:47

Hi daisy yea, we decided today to have a private scan when we feel ready but not before 8 weeks.

Daisybell1 · 10/05/2011 20:53

Sounds like a good plan Hairy, will have everything crossed for you in June.

Can anyone spare some chocolate and tissues on Thursday - have my first counselling appointment for the pre-natal depression, am knackered just thinking about it. Don't know whether to go with a list of issues/symptoms or whether to just wing it. Wasn't very taken with the counsellor on the phone - she sounded a bit flakey to me...

IzzyWizzyletsgetbusy · 10/05/2011 21:08

jolls I'm so sorry, really really hope you're wrong Sad x

hairy I'm sorry you're feeling so worried. I had a private scan at 8+3 and am glad I did; can't say I enjoyed it as I don't really like scans anymore, or even that it stopped me fretting, but I do think it helped. At least I knew that bean was doing ok at that time and I think if I hadn't been I would have gone insane by 12 weeks.

Katherine I also got really good odds for ds and dd but am preparing myself for higher risk this time (8 and 5 years later respectively). I think those figures look pretty good actually - I'm 35 and I know my background risk based solely on age is about 1:350, so I assume at 40 it's even higher - that means that your adjusted risk must be significantly lower than the average woman your (or my!) age. Without wishing to sound flippant, I find it helps to think of it as betting odds; you wouldn't bet on a horse with those odds...

Would love to go on velvet's field trip...

IzzyWizzyletsgetbusy · 10/05/2011 21:09

daisy good luck for Thursday x

hadrian · 10/05/2011 23:25

So sorry to hear about the chemical pg jolls and really hope to see you here again soon. You help me remember that whatever happens we are all survivors and life does go on no matter how awful it gets at times.

hairy I know what you mean about attachment. I'm doing everything I can not to think of what's happening inside me as a baby, it's just a bunch of cells at the moment. I'm pretty sure it's all over anyway - my symptoms have completely vanished, I've got period-like back cramps and it all feels just like last time. I've booked a scan at the Fetal Medicine Centre on Friday which is the 13th would you believe doom doom doom. Can't face the EPU again.

daisy good luck on Thursday. I've had counselling before and your chemistry with the counsellor is important so if it doesn't feel right don't be afraid to ask to see someone else.

CollieandPup · 11/05/2011 09:27

Morning everyone,

Hadrian I hope you?re wrong, symptoms really can come and go and I had all sorts of cramps and aches early on. Could be a good sign that bean is growing and things are moving about to make room. Have a look at mummyas old link that?s shows you how much your body is changing and could explain all the cramps. Glad you?ve got an early scan booked, god look for Friday.

How are Minnie and Hairy this morning?

Harassed how are you feeling sweet? 7 weeks today right? [stalker emoticon] how are you? I know I cant believe I?m 12+3. To be honest I have felt so much more relaxed since the scan last week, seeing little pup all healthy. I know that things can still go wrong, but I?m further on than last time and knowing that all looked ok has given me enough reassurance to stop me stressing for the past week.

Minnie and Pink I am a little relieved to hear that neither of you have dtd since your bfp. Me neither, to DHs disappointment. Deep down I know it can?t harm the baby but I just can?t help but worry about it. It?s the furthest thing from my mind.

Velvet I?d really love to be part of the meet up / field trip but am up north. When are you planning to go? Any other Northerners making the trip?

Did anyone watch the human body? I recorded it and watched it last night. Thought it was fascinating!!!

Waves to everyone and leaves a tray of hot Warburtons crumpets with lashings of Lurpack butter.