Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Freak out room for those newly updiffed after mc - Part V

994 replies

MummyAbroad · 13/04/2011 13:29

Just found out you are pregnant after a previous miscarriage? There is plenty of support, hand holding and problem-shared-problem-halved going on over here. All welcome to join in.

OP posts:
tunnocksteacake · 15/04/2011 17:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

owlbooty · 15/04/2011 17:22

Too much violence? I'll have you know that stork punching is the national sport of Belgium and I am just practicing for my hols in a couple of weeks' time.

Ace news velvet :)

I was actually planning on having a pool at my home for the homebirth. The cat will probably either a: puncture it b: sleep in it c:vomit on it or d: do all three so I won't be able to use it on the day. I should point out that I will probably be giving birth in front of a team of builders as we are trying to get a bunch of stuff sorted out and failing dismally. Oh and I am going to buy a pram as soon as bloody debenhams extra sort out their craptastic website.

MummyAbroad · 15/04/2011 17:29

Hello everyone, had a power cut here yesterday, and it looks like I have missed looooads... so much I want to catch up with. didnt get to do any doctor/test type research yesterday Sad

Velvet hoooray!!! and thanks for mentioning what your doc said about very low nuchal result. I hope the same happens to me, nice to know that that alone can be enough to make a doctor relax about other tests.
re: protein, healthiest way is combining grains and beans (e.g kidney beans and rice or cuscus and chickpeas) Yummies way is with dairy products, cheese, milk, eggs, yoghurt etc.

sick club members wow there is so much sickness, hope you are all ok. I wont say "at least its reassuring" because you've been told that a million times already and probably just want to feel reassured AND not sick. Hope it eases as soon for you guys as it did for me (9 and half weeks)

dach well done on pram choice! I think that is the hardest bit of all and you have done it! We spent longer choosing prams than we did our car with DS! You wont regret buying a bugaboo either, they are fab. As has been said, jinx pixies dont exist and god forbid if you ever had to, you could sell it at the drop of a hat on ebay.

YRMOTB cant wait to have you over here as well. The whole freak out room will have a party in your honour when you come and join us officially. With lots of cake. Smile

mamap go for the home birth! I wish I had done it, I went to a midwife led unit at 10cms dilated, would have been better if I had stayed home because there were no midwives there, only labour ward nurses and doctors. I got the nice room with a pool, but not a "midwife" birth, couldnt use pool, wanted me to labour on my back etc, kept pushing epidurals, wanted to give me episiotomy etc. With a home birth you get a proper midwife and much less chance of interventions.

right not got time to catch up as much as I would like, have a lovely Friday ladies! xxx

OP posts:
katherine2008 · 15/04/2011 19:22

Just dashed on to say great news velvet xxxx

Blackkat · 15/04/2011 20:23

Evening ladies

Velvet Grin Grin Grin fantastic news, so pleased that the scan went well

cep so sorry you're having such a tough time - have my FX for you on Tuesday

banana collie tunnocks sorry you feel so rotten

dachs I agree, order the pram and JL are good at hanging onto things until you really need them Smile

owl PMSL at your storkpunching and fried egg planning antics, you really help me keep perspective!! Grin

wombat was it your trousers that were back to front? That really made me chuckle!!

Lara glad you felt awful today, if the MS symptoms make it all feel real.

I really should think about adding myself to the list to make you and izz feel less lonesome there, but am a bit nervous as I haven't even plucked up the courage to ask for a scan or call the MW yet. Think I needed to get today out of the way first. Though I have absolutely the same fear as izzy that this is all in my mind. Fuckwit relative update too; Mum challenged them this week and they denied all Angry and stupid, so even more nervous about ringing midwifery team.

Just home from the hospital, Dad's op went well and if the consultant is happy he can come home next week. So that's one hurdle done hopefully, and only the ongoing drugs and chemo to keep going back for.

Spent most of the day asleep at parents house and came close to telling my Mum, but figured she had enough on. Didn't go to EPU because as we went into the reception of the hospital first thing this morning I bumped into the nurse who had dealt with my miscarrige going into the EPU ward (Dad's ward is round the corner, nice!) and I couldn't bring myself then to go back. Pink goo only once and very little within cream goo today and have reassured myself that it's happened over the last two days bcs it's when I would've ovulated if I'd not been diffed. Early night tonight. Thanks all for your support and thoughts today. Very much appreciated. I am not normally such a mentalist, honest. Grin xx Really want a glass of wine tonight!

Sorry for not namechecking everyone

nickstermum · 15/04/2011 20:24

YEY for velvet.

Hmm homebirth.... i would love to be that brave. Hope you all get what you wish for :)

Not wishing to put a neggy slant on anything at all, please give huuuuuge consideration to long distances from hospital, and what could potentially happen in the event of complication, ie needing to get to hospital quickly. My first birth was pretty horrific, i fall into 'that statistic' of epidural & assisted delivery/interventions..but not for the reasons you would think. Had we not been at hospital for the delivery, DS wouldnt have survived as he needed immediate medical intervention and 7 day intensive care, he was born at 40+6 with a collapsed lung. I stayed at home for as long as i could throughout the labour, but to this day i am so grateful to have been in hospital.

I would love to have a home birth, but given that experience, i just couldnt, and DH wouldnt allow it anyway Hmm

You will hear about good and bad birthing experiences, home and hospital, and it is your own choice what you do...and for those of you having a home birth i sincerely hope you get everything you wish for and those beans pop out as easily as can be Grin

I for one am going to try hypnobirthing this time.... but if its like my first labour i wont hesitate to go for an epidural Blush

cep · 15/04/2011 21:44

yay for velvet great news.

blackkat so glad it went well with your dad and no more pink goo.

cep · 15/04/2011 21:48

oh and advance warning, i think i'll be mentaling before my scan on tuesday as i was 11+3 last time when i found out the bad news and i'll be 11+3 on tuesday for this scan. keep chanting

wombatinwaiting · 16/04/2011 07:06

Wonderful news velvet - sounds like you have a right wriggler there!

Sorry that your scan didn't happen yesterday cep and that Tuesday's date is a worrying one for you..... as you say pure coincidence and remember that we don't have jinx pixies on this thread.

No such thing as homebirth here unfortunately so at least I don't have that conundrum. What about you mummya?

blackkat - glad to hear things are going well for your dad. Grrrr at your relatives - hope you can put that to the back of your mind for the moment and not let it spoil things for you (I can see how it could though)

How are my triplet due daters collie and izzy getting on? 24 hours til my scan - eeeek!

Ninunina · 16/04/2011 08:17

velvet great to hear your scan went well. It must be such a relief.

cep I'm sure everything will be fine on Tuesday Fx. Is ds not sleeping again?

blackkat glad to here your dad's op went well. Hope he's on the road to recovery.

dachs I think I want twins just to have a donkey. You'll be the centre of attention pushing 2 bouncing babies in a stylish pram like that. Even though every mum in Richmond has a bugaboo, I still think they're the nicest prams around. I can't wait to be brave enough to start shopping for a pram.

izzy you're right about DH and I needing to agree with when to stop testing. I think we'll do scan and bloods, but will only test further if risk is really high. I would rather know so we could prepare ourselves. I have a big support network back home, so if we got the news that it was ds, I know we could handle it.

I'm so scared though. I really admire knitter for thinking about this so logically. I'm pleased she knows she made the right choice for her. Now I just want life to be kind to her.

mattsmama · 16/04/2011 08:23

velvet great scan news - lovely and reassuring Smile

blackkat your relatives really do take the biscuit don't they?! Angry However it's good to read your dad's op went well Smile

I now have a craving for Double Deckers - haven't had one of them for ages!

Wombat the John Lewis baby list is a great idea. Didn't know they did that. However I am nowhere near even LOOKING at baby things. Even though I have had two good scans there is something inside my head which is making me sort of step back a bit (IFYKWIM). Can't explain it - definitely some sort of defence mechanism ticking away somewhere in there.

Hello everyone else and have a great weekend Smile

DoubleDiffedDachs · 16/04/2011 08:29

nina Grin I now have visions of the streets of Richmond being completely filled with mums pushing Bugaboos! The pram shopping wasn't really that brave, I just thought it was going to be a very long time consuming decision so wanted to start a lot earlier than I thought I 'needed' to. Turns out the decision was comparatively easy and now I have a whole different dilemma. Although I think we're going to order one today to make sure we get one.

Am off out to the hairdressers this morning to have my hair cut for the fits time since the mc last year. My hair is now totally scruffy and very out of control and I'm ridiculously happy that I'm having it cut again at last. After the mc was so obsessed with getting pg again and all the IVF stuff there didn't seem to be any time or reason to do stuff for me and getting my hair done seemed v low on the priority list.

Velvetcu · 16/04/2011 10:04

Blackkat I'm glad you at least managed to get lots of sleep yesterday and that your dads op went well. Your relatives are really out of order! Get yourself on the list too - it is scary but it's lovely to see the days/weeks passing by.

Dachs yay for haircut - I get mine cut whenever I feel really miserable!

cep of course you will be mentalling over the scan, all the more so because of the date it falls on but I have sprayed jinx pixicide everywhere and I think I've killed all the little buggers so they wont be bothering you Grin

You lots are scaring me with all this talk of births!! I'm only just beginning to believe I'm actually pg let alone that I'm going to be squeezing it out in 6 months!

mattmama I haven't looked at any baby stuff either. DH asked yesterday when we are "allowed" to start buying stuff. Made be chuckle but also a little bit sad.

I'm off to my sisters in a bit to get her V shaped pillows - my back, hips and knees are killing me! I thought that was just a late pg thing. Have a good Saturday all.

owlbooty · 16/04/2011 11:22

Dachs sounds like a fab idea; now is the time to treat yourself :) I'm having a pregnancy massage next week as a treat as I have knackered myself gardening and working and suchlike.

Cep my 12 week scan was on my due date from the mc. Which obviously made me think it was all going to be bad news BUT - I think if you can flip that over in your head and look at it as a chance to lay that particular bad memory to rest by replacing it with the good memory that you are going to get of seeing the bean dancing around in there, it can actually be a good thing if you see what I mean.

Nix I'm about 8 minutes' drive on blue lights from a regional teaching hospital full of super medical experts which is a lovely position to be in re. homebirth - poor you with DS though, that must have been terrifying. No wonder you're not chancing it. If I think there's even a hint something might be not going to plan I'll be in the hospital like a shot.

tunnocksteacake · 16/04/2011 11:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mattsmama · 16/04/2011 11:59

tunnocks that doppler is worth it's weight in gold already then eh? Grin I keep having bad dreams too - wish they'd bugger off!

As for coincidences with dates etc my EDD is 17/11/11 which is the date of my first MC - strange or what?

nickstermum · 16/04/2011 12:08

YEY for the doppler fix teacake. I am getting booted all day every day now... thankfully not just nocturnal :)

Re pillows i have the cheesewedge, the full body size and the breastfeeding pillow and its just not enough... i need one to stop me sleeping on my back... keep waking up flat on back Blush i really need another full body size one, but its storing them thats the problem.

owls i so hope you get your homebirth x i am going to try and stay at home hypnobirthing for much longer this time, and hope i dont get the jammed cervix like last time.. DS paved the way, so hopefully this one should be easier.

Gorgeous weather today, hope everyone is enjoying it x

MummyAbroad · 16/04/2011 13:32

Velvet Grin at jinx pixicide. Love it!
Sorry for more birth talk but..

WIW home birth is illegal here! I looked into it last time and did find a private midwife who delivers at home and then takes you to the hospital and says the baby arrived on the way! Very scary option, and not one I would do this time. I have found a doctor who loves doing natural vaginal deliveries with low intervention rates - a miracle over here, but I am also trying to line up another one who normally does cesarians in case my pregnancy goes the high risk route (at the mo we dont know). In the private hospitals there cesarian rate is 90%! In the public hospitals (wouldnt dream of it, DH was ill in one for a long time and they are horrific) you are not allowed an epidural so most women go private if they can afford it and simply request a cesarian. I think my pregnancy will dictate vaginal/cesarian. If the placental attachment looks dodgey in any way then I wouldnt want to risk retained placenta again with vaginal deliver (as much as I am a fan!)

By the way, anyone considering home birth/labouring at home as long as poss, I really recommend reading Ina May Gaskin's book called Guide to childbirth. Its a bit hippy in places, but the best thing for psyching you into the whole idea and removing fear. (It might make you fear hospitals a bit more though!)

teacake can I ask what make your doppler is? Just curious hope those pains disappear sharpish.

I have discovered that nowhere in Costa Rica does CVS or even the bloods Going to have my nuchal after easter and hope that there is a really low definitive looking number, meanwhile I am going to check out places in Miami, but so far all I can find online are information about abortion clinics Confused

I am having nightmares every night now, and last night was sort of mc related. I guess there must be a lot of unprocessed trauma buried in my subconscious that wants to sort itself out!

hope the sun is shining for you over there, love
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

OP posts:
MummyAbroad · 16/04/2011 13:37

SATURDAY'S LIST

Nickster 23+6 EDD 7/8/11
Orange 19+6 EDD 4/9/11 next scan 20/4/11
Wombat33 19+0 EDD 10/09/11 next scan 27/4/11
Daisybell 18+2 EDD 14/09/11
Pinkfondantfancy 16+5 EDD 25/09/11
Tiggersreturn (TTT) 16+4 EDD 26/09/11 next scan 10/5/11
mamapower 16+3 EDD 28/9/11
DoubleDiffedDachs 15+3 EDD 5/10/11 next scan 18/5/11
Emoo 15+1 EDD 7/10/11 next scan 19/5/11
Lovemysleep 14+4 EDD 11/10/11
Tunnocksteacake 12+5 EDD 24/10/11 next scan 20/04/11
Onions 12+2 EDD 27/10/11 First Scan 20/04/11!
Velvetcu 12+1 EDD 30/10/11
IreneHeron 11+5 EDD 26/10/11
MummyAbroad 11+1 EDD 4/11/11 nuchal 25/4/11
CEP 11+0 EDD 5/11/11
Hils74 10+3 EDD 8/11/11
Katherine2008 10+1 EDD 11/11/11 next scan 3/5/11
Haffertee 9+6 EDD 14/11/11
delilahbelle 9+2 EDD 22/11/11
Mattsmama 9+2 EDD 17/11/11
Ninunina: 8+5 EDD 21/11/11 next scan 12/5/2011
wombatinwaiting: 8+2 EDD 26/11/11 first scan on 17/04/11
Collie 8+1 EDD 25/11/11
IzzyWizzyletsgetbusy 8+0 EDD 26/11/11 first scan 19/4/11
Banana87 7+4 EDD 29/11/11
LaraMi 7+1 EDD 2/12/11 Next scan - 18/05/11

Thinking of.... hairy; ladybee; digi; A&R; barbie; harassed; MumTum; Knitter

OP posts:
DoubleDiffedDachs · 16/04/2011 13:44

hello all :)

velvet lol @ jinx pixicide Grin

teacake glad doppler worked! :)

my bump is still determined to disappear in the morning, but I am hopeful it will pop out some time soon :)

The pram deed is done. We have ordered it and JL will keep it until we are ready to have it delivered. Grin [also v scared emoticon]

tunnocksteacake · 16/04/2011 14:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

wombatinwaiting · 16/04/2011 14:48

Fab news on the doppler tunnocks - I'm wondering if you might have created a stampede for them though!

fishfinger sandwiches - mmmmm....!

Collie2 · 16/04/2011 15:01

Afternoon everyone!

banana well done for adding yourself to the list. Sorry that you're still so sick, I honestly so feel your pain!

velvet yay for good scan and test results.

tunnocks thought you were v brave buying a Doppler but clearly it's paid off. Keep us updated on how you go with it. I've been tempted to get one but v scared it will add to my mentalling!

izzy I know it shouldn't but it still Shock me that when it come to things like this it's still a post code lottery out there. I can't believe you don't get the NT scan in your area. Understand your need for a scan to get you through the 'safe zone' (as mummya calls it) your first scan is tues right? I'll be thinking of you

Sorry to nickster and mamap who are getting ms back. That's rubbish!!!! I hope it doesn't last long.

cep sorry you didn't get a scan yesterday. I understand how hard it must be, and unnerving to have scan at exactly the same point as last time, but keep trying to be positive. How was your night last night without ds? Hope you and dh had some quality time together.

pink I think the independent mw sounds great. I'm not so sold on the idea for me but to be fair I've really not thought about the birth much, but I have a friend who is very keen, so much so that as she's facing reduduancy and If the worst happens she's thinking of re-training for it.

blackkat so glad yesterday when well for your dad, I hope his recovery is smooth and rapid. So Angry for you at your rellies. They are just unbelievable. I'd be ashamed if I were them. But for now try not to let them get in the way of looking after yourself and your dad. And, get yourself added to the list lovely, it'd be lovely to see your name up there. It really is weired watching the weeks go by. I couldn't believe it said 8wks yesterday!

dachs yay for buying the pram! V exciting and brave! The JL baby scheme sounds good though!

wiw and mummya it sounds very complicated what you have to consider and go through to get tests for ds. I hope very much neither of you are faced with a decision of having to come back to the UK.

wiw hello dd buddy I am ok thank you. Sickness eased last night so managed to stuff my face eat while I had the chance. Ms gone today too. I seem to have a few days were it's awful, followed by a 'day off'..... Or so I'm Hoping rather than it having just disappeard bcs sonethings wrong! GOOD LUCK tomorrow, I am sure bean is fine and I hope you get to see him/her wriggling for you!

Had chat with dh this morning and we've agreed I'll have another scan privately when we get back from Scotland but before i go to Belfast. I'll be roughly 10 1/2 weeks depending on the date, so would be well into my 'safe zone'. Just hope nothing goes wrong whilst in Scotland!

Ninunina · 16/04/2011 17:47

My turn to start mentalling...I noticed some cm with hints of brown in it today, and am freaking out. I know so many of you have been through this and have been fine, but I can't help but feel really sad since things started out very similarly before I mc last time. I called my GP who said there is nothing he can do to help since having a scan now won't necessarily mean that I won't go on to mc in a few days time. He said that since I've already had a scan, they don't need to worry about an ectopic or anything like that, so I just have to deal with it.

I don't have any pain and its literally only tiny speks of brown- but I just wish it would go away.

Sorry for the me me me!

Collie2 · 16/04/2011 17:55

Oh ninu as you've said a bit of brown in your cm is likely to be fine- I've had it early on! Your gp doesn't sound very helpful at all. I hate that all they care about is ruling ectopic and other such complications and not about reassuring poor women who have prev mc! Maybe you could ring epu directly on Monday? Or do you have a walk in nearby? Do you think you would pay for a private scan? Maybe once you get to the date you mc last time-to reassure you? Try not too worry too much sweet (v easy to say I know) xxx