Come into the BESHt youth club in town, all you sad and bitter crones.

[Ariesgirl]

Enter the darkened youth club, where desperate 30-somethings who have been TTC since the eighties determinedly try to recapture their teenage years: their snogs with Darren from maths in the corner of the disco, the waft of Impulse, the slow dances at the end of the night, table tennis tournaments and the queue at the tuck shop for black jacks, Panda cola, fruit salads and Wham bars. Bop to Ride on Time, Love Shack and Vogue with Madonna and we'll see if all those sweaty hormones and pheromones can do the trick.

Yes. As the folk that worked there on the night shift passed their mates booze out of the window.

Sorry for fred hijack for reminiscing purposes lovely BESH

At your desk??! How?

Mine's a vodka & lime. I shudder at the thought of drinking that now. And I can't even smell tequila without wanting to heave.

Did anyone else go to indie clubs where; when the DJ played Sit Down by James, people sat down on the dance floor? Ah. Just me then....

Everyone did that Sunny You were always covered in filth when you got up.

Just had phone consultation date with Dr McDreamy- he was an hour late, so was thinking would have to come and fess up to being stood up, but he sneaked me in just before he went home (and was very apologetic) (that means something, right?) So he said, How are you and I said I was fine (and then we discussed my abnormal mentrual bleed, blah blah) and then I said something funny, and he properly laughed, not like he was putting it on or anything. And then I asked him to diagnose over the phone whether I have fibroids, or ovarian cysts, and I think I lost him a bit. But he did promise that if it happened again next month he would see to me with his long steely member think about referring me to dildocam. So what do you think? Do you think he likes me?

omg- remember when all you had to help you get a boy was the bloody phone? These children nowadays have no idea how lucky they are with texting, even email, fb etc. None of that trying to stretch the phone out of the door so you could hide, or your entire family watching you while you on the phone. Or your Dad answering !!

"Referred to dildocam"! You lucky beyatch!!

I remember being dared to phone Nick who I fancied by some girls at youth club and his brother answered and I heard him shout "Nick! It's for you!"
"Who is it?"
"Dunno."
"Boy or girl?"
"Dunno that either."
I slammed the phone down in panic.

Glad to know I was not alone.

OMG Cunty he like deffo fancies you. Yeah, deffo. I mean you can tell by the way he just phoned you like, when he could have done well like anyfink else......

I am going out now. No droid today.

Blimey it's like ladyboy night in here tonight, what with Rierie's deep tones and Owly's enormous hands

Sigh. Big sigh. Massive sigh.

So. Tomorrow I am 36. I am no longer young. I haven't had a baby yet, much less two. I don't own my own house. I don't have many savings. I still rely on my parents for things. I still feel insecure in groups and look mournfully in the mirror before I go out. When I was 21, I thought I would have all those things by the time I was 36. I am no longer young.

Enormous melancholy sigh.

Even more enormous
cwtchs ram, bet you swore to yourself that you would never be stuck in a boring job you hate, and be all about which curtains you have and get your knickers in a twist bout the taxes. And you're not. Not that that be much consolation, so we, the BESH shall throw you a party so we can meet boys to cheer you. I've made punch out of all the drinks mentioned on this thread, and there are frazzles and french fancies.

Let me cheer you with my enormous hands. If nothing else you can point and laugh.

Also, OMG moleymole you are so in there. Hot Doctor AND promise of dildocam. I seeth, positively seeth with jealousy

I never sat down during the sit down song as I was invariably wearing a skirt that would have become a belt. Also I frequented some fucking disgustingly dirty clubs and did not fancy a trip to A&E to have the glass shards removed from my backside.

Ah, Manchester. How I miss you. NOT.

The worst was sitting down at that song at festivals -argh the mud!

Aries big snog to you (slightly awkward when it's from the new girl but thought I'd get in there and take advantage when you're down)... Have another large glass of

Dildocam is awesome! My first time I actually burst out laughing in a slightly horrified way when he pulled it out, and then proceeded to pull a condom over it and then lube it up -it's really long and slightly bended, so the doc gets to properly impale you and rummage around...

The whole experience wasn't made any better by the fact that he had a student in with him, who looked about 17 years old and like he would rather have been anywhere else -I wanted to pull him to my bosom and stroke his hear and tell him it would all be ok (but slightly awkward as I was in stirrups)

Happy days...

Er...not having had any of these things before, can you say "no" to students? No judgements please - it's just a question.

Yes you can say no to students. They ask you very nicely and properly before, and it is not a problem at all if you don't want anyone else in there.

sometimes the students are better, cos they try harder.Not jaded and just going through the motions.

Prize for better double entendre goes to birthdaycake.

I saw a joke the other day that I liked.

A girl walked into a bar, and asked for a double entendre. So the barman gave her one.

I also liked this one:

I don't really like Russian dolls- they're too full of themselves.

People I know who have birthdays on 1st April (in the order I met them). My sister, my friend AJ, My friend M, my boss J (not from tomorrow, she's been demoted :( ), and Aries. All lovely people, and all absolutely 100% cool as fuck. What is about Aries girls?

Plz to not get depressed on your birthday sweet Ramlady. :( to looking mournfully in the mirror. You are gorgeous. I know, I have seen pics.

I don't own a house yet either, and I rely on my parents loads too. It's all their fault anyway isn't it? I didn't ask to be born. :o

Not saying Happy Birthday yet, but have out the champagne on ice ready...

Cass your post made me hoot.

I didn't sit down during 'sit down' because I was 'making a statement'. Or something shit like that.

Cunty He hearts you. Trufact. oh and well done on saving the playgroup - forgot to say.

I have just been to body balance. It was really really hard. We learnt a new release (routine), and we had to try and do a thing called a 'Lola'. I will never be able to do a 'Lola', ever in my life.

Boo I think I love you.

Luffs you too Ariel.

And if the thought of little rotund me trying to do <a class="break-all" href="http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?imgurl=www.ashtanganeworleans.com/Old%2520Website/StudentSection/ImagesStudentSection/lolasana.jpg&imgrefurl=www.ashtanganeworleans.com/Old%2520Website/StudentSection/JumpBack-Maty.htm&usg=__y6J0x_Iqfcr1gr4WzciX6cYYwDM=&h=149&w=175&sz=4&hl=en&start=0&sig2=kwGaz7VSltHFZvIjdYrC2Q&zoom=1&tbnid=hMi6nxGcGaQ3bM:&tbnh=119&tbnw=140&ei=AfWUTb-kLoj74Ab6_8SEDA&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dlolasana%26hl%3Den%26client%3Dfirefox-a%26hs%3DoTQ%26sa%3DX%26rls%3Dorg.mozilla:en-GB:official%26biw%3D1280%26bih%3D619%26tbs%3Disch:1%26prmd%3Divns&itbs=1&iact=hc&vpx=776&vpy=134&dur=10&hovh=119&hovw=140&tx=73&ty=31&oei=AfWUTb-kLoj74Ab6_8SEDA&page=1&ndsp=18&ved=1t:429,r:3,s:0" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">this doesn't make you roll about with laughter then clearly you haven't really tried to picture it properly it in your head]] :o

Fuck! That looks haaaaaard!

I never sat down during the sit down song because James are shite (apols to any James fans but it's true) I have been to the pub and despite not actually drinking it still turns me a bit gobby. Its all Shrodingers dogs fault apparently.

As I am going to be on holiday tomorrow and supposed to be having a break from the internet (lets have a sweep on how long that lasts?) I am going to wish Aries a wonderful, fabulous birthday for tomorrow a bit early. I will see boos statement that you are gorgeous and raise you witty and intelligent to boot. So you may not own your own house (less to lose when it all gets washed away, right?) but you do run your own business which is, quite frankly, a much bigger achievement. After all, any muppet can apply for a mortgage, I am living proof of this fact.

So none of that talk, please, my dear but plenty of and and

Take care of yourselves BESH and have lovely weekends.

You're telling me. I can't even get my hands flat onto the floor when I'm kneeling down, let alone do the next stage, which iswhere you lift your knees up but still with your toes on the floor. Not even our teacher can get any further than that and onto the full swinging bit. I asked her what the easy option was. She said there isn't one. So I'll just watch everyone else during that bit next week then.

Have a bloody brilliant time Rocketbomb

Holy x-posts boo that looks hard core. and a bit wrong.