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Conception

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Come into the BESHt youth club in town, all you sad and bitter crones.

1000 replies

Ariesgirl · 28/03/2011 22:21

Enter the darkened youth club, where desperate 30-somethings who have been TTC since the eighties determinedly try to recapture their teenage years: their snogs with Darren from maths in the corner of the disco, the waft of Impulse, the slow dances at the end of the night, table tennis tournaments and the queue at the tuck shop for black jacks, Panda cola, fruit salads and Wham bars. Bop to Ride on Time, Love Shack and Vogue with Madonna and we'll see if all those sweaty hormones and pheromones can do the trick.

OP posts:
BarbiesBeaver · 19/04/2011 16:28

Hubba Hubba. I got bitten by a Shanny once. It was my own fault as I was taunting it about how angry it looked. It nearly drew blood! It was only about 15cm long. Small but mighty. I learned my respect for nature that day.

owlbooty · 19/04/2011 16:33

Oooh, Colin Firth. Who wouldn't?

owlbooty · 19/04/2011 16:34

PS. I once got bitten by my 2 inch long pufferfish. He thought I was a prawn, the greedy bugger.

Ariesgirl · 19/04/2011 16:39

I once got bitten by a dog

OP posts:
BarbiesBeaver · 19/04/2011 16:40

Actually Owlet I wouldn't. I actually had to google Colin Firth the other day, just to check that there wasn't two of them and I wasn't thinking of the wrong person, as I couldn't understand the pant creamage over him. But then, I am a weirdo in many ways.

BarbiesBeaver · 19/04/2011 16:43

Me too aerial. Right through my thumb nail.

starcuntmole · 19/04/2011 16:44

Oh ffs, I really can't post on an ipod, but just wondered if
barbarella was interested in my new bra strap? < quick flash> (rooting for ya my lovely)
(btw underwear was actually by George, but thanks for indulging
me- is it wrong that I have discovered Asda £8 for 2 bra are the very best at hooking up my poor sad puppies? I am obviously chav shaped, rather than bravissimo. They have a great padded bit that gives much more of a round rather then fifties point which I hate- thou are probably made by blond wheelchair bound orphans aren't they?
Vis running, I doing a ten km in three weeks ( I thought about going for two weeks, but decided to be more realistic, badum tush Wink) my friend who I running with weighs about four pounds, so though when we started I was a bit better, being more experienced [eh eh?] she's now quicker as she's not bearing f cups round with her. it's taking me so long to write this that by the time I have finished a sentence I forget what I was going to say . .. I give in!
see yous later on lap top

Fucking iPods!

Ariesgirl · 19/04/2011 16:47

I don't cream my pants over Firth generally, Barbs, but only when he is dressed in early 19th century britches and is smouldering passionately across a candlelit room.

Here

I am a cliche I know

OP posts:
starcuntmole · 19/04/2011 17:00

It took me actual forty minutes to write that post

Ivegotmrbitey · 19/04/2011 17:16

He even makes the name colin sound hot!

Ivegotmrbitey · 19/04/2011 21:14

Killed Fred again with bad spelling Sad

starcuntmole · 19/04/2011 21:19

Yeah, and take your dropped fffffffffs with you!

This evening I will be mostly watching 'America's Biggest loser' -tonight is makeover week! !!!! OMG !!!! Squeeeeeee!!

InTheSunshine · 19/04/2011 21:33

Ooooh

I'm not sure about the Colin Firth thing. My current hottie of choice is <a class="break-all" href="//www.google.co.uk/imgres?imgurl=www.musingcontinuum.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/08/eric-1.jpg&imgrefurl=www.musingcontinuum.com/2009/08/11/true-blood-eric-is-the-shit-take-a-whiff/&usg" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here

InTheSunshine · 19/04/2011 21:34

Cunty I luffed the UK Biggest Loser - I got a bit addicted and emotional towards the final. Good luck with the running. I will PM you a link that you might find useful :)

starcuntmole · 19/04/2011 21:54

Hey BirthdayBitey we're just ignoring you so we can do a big SURPRISE PARTY NOW!!! (quick everyone gather round and jump out at her when she comes back) We've got caaaaaa---aaaaake!!!!

Ta v muchly sunnyD Wink I have neared tears three times already, but fortunately as its America they always go Too Far, and it brings me back from the brink. Do now fancy two contestants since makeover though. Will try to find a lic of Sexy Sam.

starcuntmole · 19/04/2011 22:01

Link don't work inthepinkafterbeinginthesunshinetoolong who do you fancy? whodo you fancy?!!??

InTheSunshine · 19/04/2011 22:28

Goddamn I am shit at the linking thing. It was fittie Eric from True Blood

My boobs hurt. It's only 4DPO. Ridiculous.

InTheSunshine · 19/04/2011 22:30

Bugger. Bitey happy birthday m'dear. Hope you have had plenty of cake!

AlpinePony · 20/04/2011 06:40

sunshine You are obviously a whore of the highest order because your link doesn't work, it simply takes me to google and expects me to type "cock". As in www.ratemycock.com

AlpinePony · 20/04/2011 06:42

The reason I say that is because my periods have been bang on monthly regular since I was 12. They came back at 6 weeks exactly after giving birth and I've always had FFJ mid-cycle. But the nobbers at the fertility clinic are reluctant to test his white goods because of my BMI. How fucked up is that? I think I might go to the doctor and demand that JB be allowed to JIAP. Or... buy a microscope. In the early hallowed halls of BESH, a "mature lady" turned up (6 kids) and told us that she'd bought a kid's microscope at a car boot sale and done the science bit herself. Possibly less traumatic.

starcuntmole · 20/04/2011 10:04

I have a telescope Ski, perhaps you could throw some up in the air and I could look from here

owlbooty · 20/04/2011 11:17
BarbiesBeaver · 20/04/2011 14:58

Yes what is it with the pointy tit bras? A good roundy cup is what is right and natural.

Pone I have a Sherlock Holmes style magnifying glass want me to take a peek at JB's Jizz? Obviously I would need to inspect his winky beforehand to ensure that no dog hair was about his person.

AuntieDoris · 20/04/2011 19:51

Evening ladies. Sorry haven't been around for a few days - real life has taken over. What have I missed?

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