Tanif
"I'm convinced I'm going to have the worst case in the world and never be able to have kids. Is this a normal emotion?"
Yes.
I think some of it comes from Daily Mail headlines about what selfish women who "wanted it all" finding out that they can't have children and how it serves them right for waiting too long/getting an STI/being too fat/not finding a husband
There is a culture of barely concealed hysteria around women's fertility and a lot of women are VERY, VERY afraid.
It's one of the reasons I'm so down on early testing and Internet cheapies and getting all wound up about 2ww and stuff. TTC (before you have any reason to suspect a problem) should be fun.
And it's why I think this bus is so great - it is genuinely fun and despite various frustrations and confusions I think most of us here are enjoying ourselves and feel supported. That's not always the case. Some of these little communities can be profoundly negative and wind up the obsessiveness rather than encouraging each other to chill out like we do here.
So yes, your reaction is normal. I know enough couples trying to fit two children into sports cars bought in moments of despair to know that it is both entirely normal, and almost certainly unjustified. So have the thought, feel the fear, but then just do it anyway.
This is your first month. There can be no pressure on the first month. It's really just a practice. It's month zero :)
:) :) :)