Waiting to try for a baby

[AmandaCooper]

A continuation of so many threads spent waiting to ttc that I've completely forgotten what number thread we're on.

If you're waiting to ttc, stop by and say hello!

Im the same regarding work/ my job!!I'm not enjoying it and am at the point if deciding to stay put and start a family whilst in this job or to get a new one but I'm pretty confused about where I stand on maternity in a new job despite looking on the .gov site.

I know 27 isn't old etc but I've always wanted a few kiddies and won't want them too close in age so want to get cracking. Besides I feel ready - I can hear my own 'clock' starting to tick tock louder

I too am a 'monica' according to my other half in terms of organising / worrying/ being in charge so may look into the books too

Hi all Im new to MN and have spent a while waiting to start TTc for a number of reasons

1. i need to lose weight first or im going to be enourmous and get shouted at off mw.
2. Can we/ will we afford it?
3. House isnt finished! (needs a kitchen)
4. Want to be married first

these reasons have been the same reasons for the last 2 years, nothing is changing except my age.

So now we are TTC!

reasons that turned me to def go for it are

1. i hate my job it takes over my life because i let it and a little time away will help me realise what is important.
2. we probably cant afford it, but when i see folk with loads of kids and not working but still getting by i think sod it!
3. house will never be finished, its never ending.
4. Really dont need to be married first really, its fine. it will happen.
5. my weight is going up instead of down. At least when i have a baby i will lose weight seen as i wont be able to afford to run a car!!!

im pretty excited about it, if not a little apprehensive. I dont really like babies ! EEK
well i do but only once their head has stopped wobbling about like its going to fall off.
:)

signet

Lol, Signet! I don't like babies either (whispers), but love children and everybody assures me it's different when it's your own though.....

The time will never be right. I thought hubby and I had reached an agreement to start trying on honeymoon - 3 years ago- but he claims no knowledge of that conversation.

Now isn't bad - we have a nice home, he is doing really well at work, but at the same time - I'm starting a new job on Monday, our lovely home is a top floor flat which we don't own because we still own a flat with holes in the roof that we're trying to fix up.

There is no ideal time - plus, we get several months warning so anything that is untenable can be fixed!

X
s

Signet reading your post sounds very similar to me regarding job, house, money and marriage etc. Us women do worry about everything. Congrats on getting things moving though.
Hopefully I'll be in the same boat too soon x

thanks everyone

mytime777 - I just got to the point where I thought, its happening - no point in waiting, everyone i speak to tells me there is never a "perfect" time. I think cos you kind of imagine yourself and picture it, us women tend to do that a lot! I have an amazing partner, and fantastic parents on both sides, so I know no matter what happens, it will be fine. If I wait til the "right time" I may leave it too late!

Funny how you spend your first part of your life trying NOT to get pregnant with everyone around you telling you NEVER get pregnant! All of a sudden "get pregnant, why arent you pregnant yet!! "

babyonboard ha ha yes aren't we all just hilarious, waiting to TTC eh, fancy that!

All others well thank you for your congratulations they were of course premature. DH refused to go through with it but has agreed to go to counselling to talk through how he feels. I asked if I should get a coil fitted but he insists there's every chance he'll see it through next month

He changed his mind the day after the second peak day on my Persona monitor and DTD that morning but obviously that's too late. So I guess that even though I am trying desperately I still fall into the waiting category until I can get DH involved.

notthehippopotamus that's weird advice from your doctor about folic acid it contradicts every other piece of advice about folic acid I've ever seen. I'd take some if I were you, it can't hurt.

Signet congratulations on starting trying I hope it happens quickly for you. I have to agree I dont really like babies but I do love children. We'll just have to muddle through the first couple of years. DH will probably love the baby years it's in his nature to nurture small cute things.

mytime welcome! I know what you mean about getting on with it before it's too late. Everything's perfect for us at the moment, I don't see how there could be a better time. I'm scared of leaving it.

Anyway here's to the next 30 days of waiting! Good luck to everyone x

Aw AmandaC I'm so sorry to hear that. Especially after it all seemed to be coming together for you, as it were. If it were me (it probably will be soon) I'd be feeling really pee'd off. Sending broody vibes in the direction of your DH and hoping talking it through will really help. I hope you can still feel as if that is a way of moving forward, if not quite as smoothly and quickly as you were hoping, and not just that you are leaving it.

I'm glad you think it's odd about the folic acid. I've gone ahead and bought some - but didn't think to check the seal in the shop, got it home and it was opened so will have to return that! It really shouldn't be this complicated!

Signet apart from already being married I could say almost exactly the same things for and against as you. I know what you mean about spending so long trying not to get pregnant though - it's quite odd for that suddenly to switch round! :)

Signet two years ago I'd have had a list just like that - in fact I did. Now I feel that if you want children then as long as there's nothing that absolutely stands in the way, like health problems, you should make them while you can.

notthehippopotamus thanks. Send as many broody vibes as you can!

Sorry been a bit AWOL!!

Welcome all newbies, seems there have been loads of you! :)

AC - Big hugs & crossed fingers for next month! x Hope your DH gets some help from counselling. Mine has said he'll go...but hasn't yet! :(

Babyonboard - If only it was that easy for everyone!

I woke up one morning & decided I wanted a baby...2 years (nearly) later & I'm still waiting for my DH to do the same!

I also don't like babies...well actually since DD (who was the most amazing & gorgeous & clever baby the world has ever seen :o) I don't like other people's babies! :o

Aw Bebe thank goodness for you! Got any madiera cake?

Got loads left!! :o Sending a virtual slice!

Am sending it to work with DH tomorrow. Have put on nearly a stone since Christmas! NOT GOOD!!!! It's comfort eating! Lost all the weight on the promise of TTC then it hasn't happened!

Oh how rubbish. I know how hard it is trying to keep up a healthy regime. It's one thing when you've got a TTC date to aim for but when it's just open ended you get discouraged and just want something to cheer you up.

Exactly!!! Hit the nail on the head! Plus it's really difficult when I'm starting to make cake for a living lol

Well yes that does rather add to the challenge. Perhaps you should start making sushi instead!

How far have you got with the business now? You certainly make a lot of beautiful cakes. Did you get your kitchen inspected?

Plan is that I will start properly when DD starts more hours at preschool in Sept. That will give me the chance to sort kitchen out properly & get inspected/registered. Just trying to build up a portfolio/reputation at the moment. So everything I'm doing is for friends & friends of friends! Not being paid just getting the costs back, and getting 'donations'. I'm doing 48 cupcakes for a preschool fundraiser this weekend, they wanted something really nice that they could charge alot for...rather than 20p fairy cakes IYKWIM? Then I'm doing a friends wedding cake at the end of the month, & then DDs birthday cake the week after that! Busy busy busy!!

Hello everyone, have been keeping an eye on this thread for a while and have now decided to join! DP and I have not officially agreed to TTC yet but over last couple of months we have been less and less careful so if it happens we would be pleased, I think he just can't actually say the words 'let's try' yet, so officially waiting for the go ahead! However, after being to the doctors this morning as having very strange AF's last couple of months she has suggested that it may take us a while to conceive as my cyles are irregular, also am turning 30 in a few months, she has suggested that if we want children to start trying now as if there are problems with TTC and if we need tests and help conceiving we could be looking at 3 years down the line before it happens and with risks increasing at 35 she has just suggested to 'get on with it there is never a perfect time for a baby'! so now need to wait for DP to get back from a work trip in 3 and 1/2 weeks so I can put this to him and hope he agrees!

Have you room for one more? I'm also 28 and live in the South West :)

We'll be TTC from our wedding in December. For years I didn't want kids but that changed when I met DP (literally like he flicked a switch in me). He wasn't keen at first but I think it was because there are two amazing DSS from his first marriage and he misses them like hell (we have them Thursdays and alternate weekends) because he is the broodiest man ever!

We literally sat down in December and I said TTC this summer, he said TTC next summer and I suggested the compromise of our wedding. I'm trying to focus on all the things I have planned but was so excited to find this thread and realise it's not just me!

Welcome WaitingForMe and waitingandwishing - good to have you! Sounds like you're in similar situations to several people on this thread - and as WaitingForMe says, this is all about knowing that you're not the only one :)

Bebejones your cake-making projects/business sound amazing! I love baking, but am currently making my sister's wedding cake which is a much bigger project than I've ever taken on before. When work gets me down I frequently occasionally fantasise about making a living from cakes instead but I don't think I'd ever be able to make it work out in reality. Good luck with it!

waitingandwishing if he's happy with not being careful, couldn't you just make sure you're "not careful" at your most fertile time?!

Waitingforme I know what you mean about flicking a switch I think that happened for me on our wedding day. A September baby is considered Quite The Thing for schooling purposes, so there's a plus for you. I don't think I can wait till then. Might have no choice of course.

Anyway I have been reading the birth horrors thread. It is quite therapeutic!

Bebe wow only a few weeks to go then! Your cakes are fabulous I wish you lived near me!

Welcome WaitingForMe & waitingandwishing!! :)

Hippo - don't think I would actually be able to survive off the profits from this 'business' or even pay the bills (at first) but I'm hopeful that I will at least be able to contribute a tiny bit more to the household income. Plus will get DH off my back about getting a 'proper job' when DD starts more hours at preschool.

I was hopeful that I would be PG again/have another baby before we got to the stage of DD being out of the house more. Would have been ideal. Just don't want to go back into work & then stop a few months later to have another baby! (Dependant on DH getting a grip obviously) Plus it's massively difficult to get a job that fits in around DDs preschool hours. If I couldn't be there to pick her up etc then the childcare costs for the extra hours basically don't make it worth my while to work! I could work evenings/weekends when DH is home with DD, but the sorts of jobs available locally with those hours are either a.Not hiring b.Would hire someone younger than me who doesn't qualify for minimum wage! We live semi-rural (ie large ish town but essentially in the middle of nowhere) so any minimum wage part time evening weekend job that I got further afield wouldn't cover my petrol costs to get there! SO just have to content myself with the odd bit of design work & other bits for DH & hope that I can make a go of the cake thing! I realise no one asked for this long winded explanation, but thought I would share!! :o

Hello everyone may I join you?

I have a 3 year old and I am perpetually broody for another. Due to several rather major ongoing health concerns and money worries we havent taken the plunge.

However, yesturday I had a chat with my husband and we have decided to aim to ttc this time next year.

Like so many of you I have a list to get through before we go ahead.

1. losing weight (at least 1 stone)
2. coming off my medication
3. getting myself a more comfortable prosthetic leg
4. having at least one qualification under my belt
5. making it through the day without needing a nap ( i suffer with chronic pain and unless i physically take my leg off and get into bed I dont rest)

So theres my list. I also want to have some savings behind us as i would like a private room to have the baby in and a private midwife- might be pushing it slightly there :) I had a horrible birth and I would like some continuity with mw and some privacy and help from my husband post birth.

There is always the question, can we afford another and to be perfectly frank im not sure we would have had our first ds at all if we had been waiting to be able to afford him, but we rub along and somehow he doesnt miss out on anything.

I dont think there will be a perfect time to have dc no.2 and I dont wnt to wait indefinately until there is. There is no guarentee my health and mobility will improve and I could just about manage another now but i couldnt manage if I were to get any worse.

Shoot, G2G, be back on later.

Welcome mummysfunny!

Agree about there being no perfect time to have another one! So welcome to the madness of waiting to TTC! :o

I also have a long term health issue, and worry that should I get worse I might not be able to cope. I know I would be ok now, but just don't want to leave it so long that I wouldn't be able to! I came off my medication last September when I thought we would be TTC in Jan. DH changed his mind! I haven't gone back on my meds so I just hope that I can stay as healthy as I am now without them!

Hi. Please my I join?