Waiting to try for a baby

[AmandaCooper]

A continuation of so many threads spent waiting to ttc that I've completely forgotten what number thread we're on.

If you're waiting to ttc, stop by and say hello!

Got my first AF after DS today (feeling urgh). Told DH and he picked up DS and said 'Mummy's hormones are sorting themselves out now so we'll be able to make another baby, one just isn't enough and you're getting big'

Don't think for a minute he meant in the immediate future but was not quite what I expected him to say!!

AC. Will keep it carefully under control. Hope you get AF soon and can get on with the terrifying exciting bit!

Flowery that sounds very positive!

Hello all. Hope i'm still welcome here now i'm upduffed... I've been pretty ill recently andhaven't built any relationships on MN anywhere else. Had booking appt on monday and my blood pressure is 90/50 - no wonder i've been so dizzy. Thank god for my dh and my mum - couldn't do this without them. How is everyone else?

Just catching up on everyone's happenings after a week away. Sorry the job didn't work out AC but hope you will soon have maternity leave to look forward to to escape the current job! Good luck :) Flowery that is exciting too - aw!

Sending sympathy to Pipbin - sounds like a rubbish situation to be in.

Met up with my friend and her 4 week-old DD yesterday evening which was lovely but didn't get much of a cuddle - she seemed really reluctant to hand her over. So sat back feeling green-eyed! Now making a resolution to be generous if/when I eventually have a LO to share round! Grasping at straws, DH actually mentioned TTC spontaneously 3 times last week - yes I counted . All in positive way and he is looking forward to reading up on childcare, apparently, and thinks I should go down to 2 days a week at work. Not sure he's done the maths on that one but he's certainly looking ahead a bit! As far as actually TTC goes though, he's still talking about 'in a year's time or so' so must not get too excited.

Notthehippopotamus that all sounds incredibly positive, even if he is talking about a year away. Most people seem to manage to shave off a bit of the original timescale!

I was lucky with my friend and her baby she was more than happy for me to have constant cuddles, mainly because she's trying to persuade us to get going so we can do kiddie things together. She's now pg with number two.

Makescakes it's ok by me and I should imagine the rest of the people on the thread, it's the other people on the conception forum we have to be considerate of. What we did last time was when the thread got to 1,000 posts we broke off into two groups, one thread in Other Subjects where people were at different stages but wanted to stay together on a thread and the other on here for people who were still waiting. I guess we can just do the same again. Sorry to hear about your blood pressure.

Floweryboots what a cute thing to say! It's lovely to hear of positive fatherhood experiences, DH still views it like root canal work or some other unavoidable evil.

Minipie indeed the Terrifying Bit awaits! Still no AF though.

Hello. An introduction and a "how did I manage to miss this thread?". I've been lurking on mumsnet for far too long, feeling like a total fraud (and fruitloop) when we weren't even ttc.

We still aren't, but it looks as though we will start next month (although I've thought that in the past and things have changed so no chickens being counted here!!)

Hello :-)

Soupqueen welcome to fruitloop city!

Is it another case of Fear of Fatherhood? It's common round these parts!

Yep, The Fear! Also things not being perfect - right home, job situations yada yada.

We're in a pretty good place and I think he has (almost, fingers crossed) accepted that if we wait for the perfect circumstances we'll never do it!

Almost eh? I think you may have found your MN home!

Now if my errant DH goes along with the plan to start TTC this cycle I can promise you there's hope for ANYONE! (that's a big "if" though!)

So has he actually agreed to next month? When would you be trying?

Hello! Can I join too? I've also been lurking but have decided to come out of hibernation.

We've been married about a year, and are looking at 'Pre-TTC' from next February (as in folic acid etc) and then TTC proper from May. I think I may die of waiting in the meantime though

Well its day 14 of my first proper cycle in 10 years and I got text book EWCM this morning. This has made me hopeful that everything is working like it should.

No movement on the job front though.

In other news I got a letter from one of my oldest and dearest friends to say that his girlfriend is 27 weeks pregnant. Unplanned but they are happy. However she is temping and his contract runs out soon which has made me realise that we have done right thing in waiting.

Heavensnetiswide welcome to the waiting room! Drinks and snacks are just along the hall, bathroom to the right. Find somewhere to hang your coat - the coat racks are under the huge big ticking clock!

Congratulations on nearly a year married, when is your wedding anniversary? Do you have any plans for how to celebrate?

Folic acid has been shown to be beneficial from up to a year before - and you can't account for little accidents - so no time like the present to dose up! You might want to take it subtly for now though, you don't want to scare poor DH (they seem to scare easily)!

pipbin yay for textbook EWCM! That sounds reassuring particularly as it's first proper cycle in 10 years. I assume you have been on the pill, rather than you have had ten children or you are ten years old! I hope something turns up on the job front soon.

I like your thinking AC! it's actually just over a year, got married in February, just dinner and cards (paper anniversary) to celebrate as we're a little short on money, thus the waiting.

pipbin, I never thought I'd say this, but yay for mucous! I've also been using the pill, and now mirena for 10 years, so it does indeed give the rest of us hope. I'm trying to think of waiting as self sacrifice and thus good practice for parenthood.

Congratulations on normality and EWCM, Pipbin. Hopefully I'll be able to say the same in a few weeks time. Supposed to be trying to get a doctor's appt this week to discuss coming off the pill, taking folic acid etc. Nothing she can tell me that I can't find out from the experts on mumsnet of course! Can't say I'm really looking forward to having normal AF back while we wait (Although perhaps DH will get so fed up with me feel so sorry for me that he will bring the deadline forward??!)

Welcome Heavensnetiswide - if my DH sticks to his current timetable it looks like we'll be waiting and eventually starting at the same time. Also hello to Soupqueen and good luck for next month. Sounds as if your DH is starting to conquer his Fear - do you have any FOF-combatting strategies to recommend to the rest of us? :)

coming off the pill next month :)

Thanks stuffedmk, makes me feel better to know that someone else who hasn't broken a bone can cope with child birth! I guess when you get down to it you just have to get on with it.

Notthehippopotamus - people hardly ever let me hold their babies, it's been like that all through my life. I don't know why! I would love to get big cuddles with a baby but it never happens. Maybe over protective mums or new mums worrying I will break their child. Like you, I want to make sure I give friends lots of baby cuddles if they want them!

Yay for starting to TTC soon Soupqueen, hope all goes well.

AC will you be starting soon?

How is everyone doing? Got any DH's on board yet? Hope so. There's never the perfect time to have a child, esp in this day and age of jobs that aren't secure. Not many jobs are secure now.

Good news for me on the job front, turns out having a break down at work actually makes people take notice. My job position is changing and I'm moving to the IT Department in the summer (I work in a school). Will be a lot happier there. Although sad to leave the people I work with in my current department. It's a good career move for me though. It was either stay where I'm comfortable (although over worked and stressed) or take a step up. Will be in a job that uses my brain more. Wonder if it's a good idea since I have heard that there is such a thing as 'pregnancy brain' or 'baby brain' where you forget everything lol.

Counting down to the wedding day, just under 5 months now. Which means not long to start TTC too :)

Yay for coming off the pill next month rimmer80 :)

Apologies for posting and dashing, spent a few days with the in laws - no mobile reception (nightmare!) and couldn't log on here in the middle of the living room!

Amanda, that sounds positive, fingers crossed.

Heavensnetiswide, newly wed is such a lovely time, enjoy (and no harm in discreetly popping the folic acid!)

Pipbin, yay for mucous, funny the things we get excited about these days, isn't it?!?

Notthehippopotamous - I don't know that I have any tips that would work for others as relationships are so different and our "triggers" are quite unique to wherewe are. They include a number of his friends having babies, some of whom are now old enough that he sees what great fun they can be. More seriously, his mother died suddenly 6 years ago and his Dad had a recent health scare so I think it brought home the need to crack on with it if he wants his Dad to have grandchild(ren), and with me about to turn 35, and him at 38........
To be fair though, the fear afflicts me too sometimes! It's such a huge, life altering step.

Rimmer, yay, how cool would it be to be TTC buddies with a character from one of my favourite TV series ever!

Ratata, have a wonderful wedding, enjoy every minute of it.

rimmer for next month - just to warn you, I came off in Feb with the aim of TTCing in May/June and things still aren't back to "normal" (currently my cycles are 40 days long and it's sooo frustrating not knowing when I'm ovulating) - I wish I'd come off a bit earlier!

ratata the job move sounds good - and enjoy the wedding planning! I heard the latest thinking is that pregnancy brain is a myth .. though I must admit I think TTC brain is not good for my work ethic! Baby brain (once the baby is born) is real I think but mostly down to sleep deprivation!

Heaven you sound like you're in the position I was in a year ago - married a year and looking at TTCing in another year's time. The time has gone really quickly and we're now TTC! Good luck with the wait and do lots of wine drinking non-pregnancy-friendly activities in the meantime!

Great news on the job, Ratata, congratulations! :)

Thank you for your thoughts, Soupqueen - what you said is really useful because although obviously everyone is different I can see some parallels with my DH. He has hardly any experience of children, but our friends are starting to have babies now and he is definitely starting to think of it as something he could actually do, but they are all quite little at the moment so not in the fun stage (from his point of view) as you mention. Thankfully he hasn't had the serious side that your DH has been through - which I'm really sorry about and wouldn't wish on anyone - but that does make him think that it's something he doesn't really need to hurry on with at all. Which I guess strictly he doesn't - he's only 29 and I'm 28. Would ideally like to start TTC and preferably even give birth to #1 before I'm 30 though.

On a positive note, DH has just announced that he spent part of today looking up what my entitlements to maternity pay would be and has decided it is really quite good and having a baby therefore affordable. Wasn't really expecting that one, and seems like a good sign!

On the downside I am finding it impossible to get a GP appointment to discuss coming off pill etc. as I don't feel I can take time off work for something non-urgent but although I can get away quite early in the afternoons at the moment for various reasons, and finish work at home later, they don't seem to be able to find me anything on the day or in advance.

come off the pill and on the folic acid so I'll be in optimum TTC condition before the (as its now offically known in our house) poxy wedding. the broodyness is driving me crazy thou. So mean cos SIL is due in 4 weeks and i really wish it was me, then i feel guilty cos im so jealous... :(

"poxy" wedding?

My brother is getting married in Sri Lanka. Love him to bits but having to fly and get various jabs etc has stopped us flat

Oh yes I remember. You've not managed to talk him out of it then? Thank goodness my only sibling is already married!

nope, i tried :( Im enbracing the wait as well as i can and focusing on the fact i'll get to ride an elephant. If he doesnt get me that elephant ride thou his broody sister might just serve him up instead of wedding cake