Waiting to try for a baby

[AmandaCooper]

A continuation of so many threads spent waiting to ttc that I've completely forgotten what number thread we're on.

If you're waiting to ttc, stop by and say hello!

Not suspicious Rosy but envious that you're TTCing already! I haven't been on this thread much for a while so missed your previous appearances.

wire welcome! good luck to you and ratata with the wedding planning. I know what you mean about not being in control of conception, I am so used to planning out my life without the uncertainty of possible pg. Mind you it's probably good practice for having a child when (I gather) you are definitely not in full control of your own life...!

woo hoo AC. BFPs here we come.

Thanks for the welcome everyone :) I'm glad that I'm not the only who isn't too good with other people's kids, hopefully I will be fine with my own when the time comes! My fiance has a little brother who was just under 3 when I first met him (half brother) and I had no idea how to speak to him or what to do. Luckily after 3.5 years later he's taken well to me and likes me because I'm always laughing apparently and I never tell him off (don't feel it's my place).

I'm so excited (and envious...) of those who are going to star TTC soon :) It's so exciting. What everyone needs is a pregnancy scare and then you will know if you are ready or not, worked for me! Kind of like the Friends episode where Phoebe tells Rachel she isn't pregnant (Phoebe was reading Rachel's preg test result) and then Rachel is disappointed and Phoebe tells her that really she is pregnant and now she knew how she really felt. Makes sense if you think about it! I know I've been broody since my scare.

I'm always watching A Baby Story on one of the lifestyle channels on Sky...

Wow look at all these new people. Seems I will have someone to wait interminably with.

MrQuod's long-awaited Career Zenith Before Which We Cannot Have Offspring is now going to be next January, apparently (for newbies, this monumental moveable feast has been put back from last june last september february just gone this October coming)

Amanda, bebe and others with recalcitrant OHs: I'm thinking that rather than sitting around powerlessly, I'm going to start a business. I'm thinking about setting up a service where we kidnap your OH, brainwash them into being incredibly enthusiastic about having children immediately (maybe after stunning them mildly) and then return them, a little dazed but none the worse for wear, and totally converted. I reckon it would be a big seller. (I've been inspired by my pregnant friend's DH, who is the MOST ENTHUSIASTIC MAN ABOUT THE EXCITEMENT OF PREGNANCY EVER and who I reckon could evangelically convince just about anyone)

Other option could be a secret screensaver that you download onto their computer which flashes subliminal messages at them. This could be the cheap version maybe, with the above being the delux service. What do you all reckon?

Quodlibet - Subliminal images on the computer could work a treat ;) hehe. The reason DF is looking forward to being a dad is because he used to look after his wee brother and loved watching him grow up and I think it made him feel like a kid again because he could play games with him etc. But the main thing I think is that they say a guy needs a good, older male role model in his life other than his father. DF has worked with a great guy who is around 7 years older than him and therefore settled down and started a family a couple of years ago. DF looks up to this guy and I believe this is partly why he's happy to settle down and have kids at 24 years old. I'm 27 soon, older woman :p

So get this really enthusiastic guy to hang out with your man and hopefully it will rub off on him! I do think that when guys friends start to settle down then it can encourage their friends to want to do the same. I think guys aren't naturally maternal like us, they feel like a daddy when the baby is in their arms. Usually. I could be talking crap.

Ratata - That makes perfect sense! DH says he spent my whole pregnancy freaking out about being a dad & it didn't sink in until he actually held DD.

Quod - sign me/DH up to the subliminal images...actually I think DH probably needs the deluxe service?!

Quod thats the best business idea I've ever heard! You'll be a millionaire if you pull it off! Don't suppose there's a platinum service that's a bit Clockwork-Orange-esque that I could sign DH up to? For very extreme cases.

Remind me again why MrQuod's career zenith has any bearing at all on MrsQuod's TTC plans?

Excellent plan Quod can you sign my DH up too please? If you can also incorporate the subliminal messages into sports car websites that would probably work best. (Though might spark an unintentional population boom).

Yes, tell us more about this Career Zenith. And what happens if the Career Zenith doesn't ever happen? or is that not possible?

Quodlibet, that's rubbish...have to say I'd be majorly tempted to 'accidentally' get pregnant under those circs... :D

Hi everyone!

I am a new addition and another one to add to the 'waiting/ TTC' group. I have finished the pill (Marvelon) last month and cannot wait to TTC with my wonderful husband. It appears I have a long wait ahead though as many people have told me it can take up to a year to even start ovulating again?! Does anyone know how true this is? It has been 34 days since comming off the pill and having my last P. Im worried it will take ages to get back into a normal rhythm. So, in the meantime, what better way to pass the time that to get to know other people who are in a similar position!

Charlotte

I just thought I'd stop by and say hi. I guess you could say I'm waiting to start TTC. Have DS1 who will be 9 months in a few days and am already broody (and have been since he was about a 2 weeks old, as soon as I'd stoped being totally traumatised by the birth!!). Generally I don't admit to it but I must be wanitng to start thinking serriously about the next one since I've been lurking round the conception threads feeling envious. Anyway, just glanced through the last page of posts and spat my G&T all over the screen laughing at Quodibet's proposed business. I'd take a cmbination of your cheap and delux services please! I'd like a small age gap, DH thinks three years at least. Still, at least we both want at least a couple more.

I'll pass around the gin, but can't offer any ice as the ice cube trays are full of mashed parsnips

I wouldn't worry about it too much penguin. I think that the vast majority of people don't experience any problems, even where they have recently come off the pill. In fact, many people get pregnant immediately or even get pregnant whilst on the pill.

I think that there is a danger when you read this forum day in and day out of getting the wrong impression about fertility, because the people who are on the conception forum long term are not really representative of the population as a whole. Generally speaking, pill or not, you're probably looking at about 6 months of trying.

Thanks Amanda.
Your point about the people on tis forum not being a true representation of all women who a TTC has made me feel much better.
I'm still only 3 weeks in to TTC and reading posts here has made me worry about how long it will take.

look here!

Ah brilliant, I'm glad my business plan has some takers.
Minipie I will get to work on a sportscar website version.

I have had a think about the Premiere service and decided it is only a very small violation of human rights and definitely no worse than Madness Caused By Prolonged Waiting To Conceive, so we should be fine. AC can I get you to work on some legal documents to back us up?

In explanation, MrQuod still cannot contemplate having children until Career Zenith is reached, because working towards it is all-consuming and there is not room in his mind for both things. Plus having a child would potentially compromise Career Zenith massively according to him (there is some truth that he will get super busy and be away a lot potentially). All attempts at logic and ration (it could take a year to conceive, once the baby is here it will be here forever and we will have to adjust our careers, his career never pans out as planned etc etc) fall on deaf ears. I have asked how long exactly I should wait if the Career Zenith is again moved. This leads to very very long silences and pained expression.

We don't talk about if the Career Zenith doesn't happen.

I think we are now at the point in negotiations where we might TTC before the Career Zenith, provided that said child is born after Career Zenith. It's very difficult though, because Career Zenith has a habit of getting moved forward again about 9 months in advance, which means we get into the safe-to-TTC-according-to-MrQuod-zone and then Career Zenith merrily skips another 3 months into the future.

Anyway, got to get back to the bunker and work on my masterplan...

Quod - your DHs Career Zenith sounds just like my DHs work! There's no one thing, but everytime something looks like completing & there is light at the end of the work tunnel it turns out to be an oncoming train!! Tis most frustrating! My DH also does not 'have room in his head' to contemplate TTC right now!

Ha ha I think everyone should have to sign a disclaimer so that they can't sue you when DP is begging for DC10 and won't take no for an answer!

I think it is perfectly normal for ttc to coincide with men's career zeniths, it just stands to reason that at the right sort of age for one you're also going to be the right sort of age for the other. Certainly when I was a small child my dad worked away during the week every week, achieving his zenith, while my mum stayed at home with me. I don't fancy that sort of arrangement myself though.

OMG these bloody men! What planet are they on at all to think that kind of non-committal moving of the goalposts is reasonable? Pjani I can sympathise so much. And your boyfriend doesn't even have the excuse of being younger than you! What is more he "gets upset" every time you bring it up, even though he's the one whose priorities are taking precedence!

How long has this been going on?

I find it really strange how they can't find room in their heads and yet we can find actual room inside our actual bodies for a whole new human being! Compared to getting a new human out of one of your orifices, I would say getting your head around one is easy.

DH is now on 24 hour wobble watch as we are in what is supposedly our last two weeks of not trying. I'm trying not to get too excited because we've been here before and at the last minute, after I'd started a bus and everything, it all got put back by another 6 months.

Agree Quod. Same applies to the Career Zenith really - the impact on a woman's career is so much greater, and yet somehow it's their career which holds up TTCing.

Amanda DH and I have got one week to go till we can start TTC so I am in pretty much the same place as you! DH is not allowed to change his mind . Don't think I'll be brave enough to start a bus though. Perhaps we can have our own little minibus here...? Have a feeling my bus will be travelling very slowly as my cycle seems to be still all over the place post-Pill .

pjani welcome. How frustrating for you. Has your OH said he wants children but "not yet", or are you not sure whether he wants them at all?

Another one to add to the waiting group. Me and DH decided we were going to start trying, just getting our heads into gear over it and my brother has decided to get married next March on the other side of the world, so thats put a very frustrating pin in it :(

DH says at least in the meantime I have a bit more time to get myself in the right place. I'm alittle ocd so he thinks the longer I think over/plan everything the less scary/stressfull I'll find it all. Alright for him to say thou, hes not the broody one with everyone having babies arround him and my mum and his on at us lol!! that said at least waiting I get to read baby books and stuff over a nice glass of something without guilt

Hello! Hope you don't mind me joining too. Have been lurking, in denial about having joined Mumsnet at all when I'm a long way off being a Mum yet. DH wants to wait 'till this time next year' before we TTC. Although he's been saying similar things for some time he seems to be gradually coming round to the idea Or is it wishful thinking?! that we might start a family soon, rather than sometime in the distant future.

All my friends seem to be having babies, including one of my closest college friends 10 days ago. We visited her and met the baby at the weekend - so cute! Makes it seem more real that I could be a mum too - cue ratcheting up of broodiness to previously unseen heights!

Anyway, glad I'm not the only one waiting. Also appreciated Amanda's advice above - looking through the Conception forum makes me panic every time that it is going to take us ages. Maybe I should calm down!

Must get off the 'puter but wanted to say hello to you both, MrsTwinks and notthehippopotamus.

MrsTwinks what a pain re the wedding. Great of course, but rather badly timed! But good idea re the nice glass of something

notthehippo, I know how you feel - I've been on MN for ... er ... an embarrassingly long time, despite no DCs and even though TTC was a long long way off when I joined! And, like you, I visited a uni friend and her new DC at the weekend and am now very, very impatient...

Notthehippopotamus (predictive text suggests some weird stuff for that!) I think that's when you first join the conception forum, you inevitably get the overriding impression of hugely prevalent fertility problems - because that's the dominant theme. We always used to warn each other not to read them.

But I've been on here for 18 months now and I've realised that most people join, quickly get pg and pass through without fanfare. Or don't join a conception thread at all and first pop up in a pg thread going "hey what do you know, I'm pg!"

That's changed my perspective and I no longer get so freaked out by the conception threads. I'm mid thirties, so I'm quite unlikely to be among the "hey what do you knowers" but at least if I do have problems there's a huge support group on here to help me through them.

MrsTwinks that's a real blow re the wedding but I guess there's nothing you can do. You'll have to find out how late in pg you would be allowed to fly, you might only have to delay by a few months.