Waiting to try for a baby

[AmandaCooper]

A continuation of so many threads spent waiting to ttc that I've completely forgotten what number thread we're on.

If you're waiting to ttc, stop by and say hello!

I feel totally clueless too - I hear that it "comes naturally" but I am not so sure about that...!

What is 2WW?

Also - what is AF? It's not on the acronymns page.

And JSFN - I think the HPTs are like a gauge to see how deep the water is...

I know it sounds really daft, but although we're good to go from April (when DH has his work assessment thingy) I was going to wait a bit in order to avoid the possibility of a Xmas baby, cos I always felt sorry for my friend who was a Xmas baby... But it might not happen immediately, so perhaps I should forget that... See - vacillating again. So glad to hear i'm not the only one who feels like that Quod - thank you.

Basically lots of us on this thread are going to start trying at the same time, aren't we? It's nice to have some friends to do this with, even if we don;t get to have coffee (or caffeine free alternative) together.

for those who want to get their DH/DPs to take zinc but don't want to tell them why!!

Oh yes - I take zinc because it helps support the immune system and mine is crappy! lol

Get the fizzy vitC and zinc tablets from sainsburys and pass it off as normal fizzy drink? Or tell him the 'flu is going round and you want him to stay healthy :-D

So with you on the clueless front!

When I had DD I was so unprepared for actually having a tiny baby to look after! After DH & my mum had gone home. I was left on the postnatal ward & she was in the crib next to me. I couldn't move (epidural hadn't worn off) had canula in my hand & was a bit shell shocked. I looked at this tiny little thing & thought 'Shit! What the hell do I do with that?!' Had no idea how to picke her up, hold her, feed her, change her, bath her...terrifying! But you do just sort of figure it out...eventually! I swear potty training is the hardest thing I have had to do & I've had 2 and a half years to get used to being a mummy before I've had to do that!!

DH is nearly out of zinc...and refusing to take anymore when he's finished (he has them for his immune system )!

I am back on the prenatal vits (in secrect, put them in the container of my normal multivits! ) really hoping I can convince DH to TTC, things are looking up work wise, but not so good in extended family life and it all has a knock on effect!

bebe - totally know where you're coming from with the extended family thing. Amazing how much stress such things can cause. You have my sympathy.

I wasn't unprepared in the end as my best friend had a little boy about 1.5yrs before DD came along so was used to having him from a tiny baby.
Just a tad scary when it's your own lol.

I still have some knitted bits from having DD kept all the unisex stuff :)

AF started yesterday. Roll on 9mths without any lol.

1 more AF to go woohoo

Evening all! It's quiet on here this week isn't it?
I've had yet another manic day and am so in need of the weekend. DH is keen to go to the races on Sunday with friends but I was rather hoping we could have some time together to chill out and unwind. Let's hope I can persuade him that I'm right!!!
What has everybody got planned this weekend?

Hurrah! Nearly the weekend. We have to build a wall. Well, when I say "we", I mean OH has to. I will provide tea and bacon rolls.
Nearly got in trouble last night - I have been gently suggesting the idea of babies to OH, but it all has to be very gentle. Unfortunately my Dad turned up with bags of stuff for me - he'd been sorting out his house. Of all the things he could have found, it had to be all of my baby things! Had to hide them before OH saw and thought it was a conspiracy.
On the plus side, my collection of baby things is looking rather healthy. I even have a vintage parasol that attaches to a pram. No pram though...

Hello everyone (sorry this is going to be a loooooooooooong post!)

Its so nice to know that there are other people like me and I'm not completely crazy!

I am desperate for a baby and slightly addicted to OBEM and various programmes on Discovery Home and Health and was getting slightly worried about myself...The fact I'm registered on MN is also a bit silly as unlikely to have a child for a while :(.

DP hates children...until they're old enough to drive a tractor they are completely useless apparently! (Although I know DP drove one aged 2...unfortunately crashed it into a barn as was too short to reach the brake...but I digress).

When he was 16 his then girlfriend lied re contraception (ie wasn't on pill when she said she was!) and got PG. He supported her through, got a job etc but left her when baby was 3months due to numerous abuse allegations (GF and her family decided he was hitting baby etc - just crazy he would never do anything like that). I think this has (for good reason) put him off slightly.

I said when we first met that I wanted children by 30, ideally two. He has varied between saying no way not a chance to saying that yes we will try when I'm 27. Unfortunately sometimes when we talk about stuff he then goes back to no way... (eg when looking at houses wanting 3 bed so each child can have a room!)I keep trying to convince him that a planned baby in a marriage at 27 is going to be sooooo different to unplanned pregnancy with a crazy teenager. But no luck. I will just keep onI think. I can't imagine not being a mum, but I love DP too much to leave him just so I can have a baby :S.

I have resorted to making a list to calm myself, and make me realise its not the right time yet...

1. Get a house! (still living with parents and engaged not my idea of fun!)
2. Get engaged and married
3. Save
4. Convince DP...

LTBC How lovely that your dad brought all of your baby stuff over for you. I don't think my parents have kept anything other than the big oldfashioned silver cross pram that I had!! Think that will be staying with them as I can't see me getting it through our fornt door, nevermind up and down the stairs!!

Am so glad it's Friday today...... what a week!!!

Yes, it has been a bit quiet, but I was feeling silly spouting on to myself, so I thought I'd wait for someone else to say something :-)

Starting to gear up now - only 5 weeks or so till hubby's probationary period is over and then we start trying... Am basically closing my eyes and letting hubby make the decision. Very childish I know, but I trust his judgement :-)

Bit of drama today having to take one of my beloved boys (cats, just in case you were wondering) to the doctors because I thought he was suffering a replay of a very nasty health condition he had last year. I have never been so grateful to pay £50 for an infected foot in my life - silly sausage. Anyway, I'm now about to go and prise open cat treats so I can stick his pills inside them - it's the only way to fool him! Dunno why i'm so nervous about being a mummy, I basically already am anyway, it's just that my babies are currently furry and will always need me to feed them and do everything for them ;-)

Hope you're all well. I'm excited about getting to walk round our new town with DH tomorrow - first time he's been free on a Saturday since we moved here and the town shuts down on a Sunday.

x
C

PS - welcome to Sands. We're a friendly, albeit slightly batty bunch in here :-)

sands I would definitely resolve the baby issue with your OH, my friends OH was the same (although he had 2 from a prev rellie), she convinced him he wanted another, 6 weeks before they were due to get married, they had a really small tiff and then it escalated and he basically said he didn't want kids, was only doing it for her and couldn't carry on anymore, so they split. i'm not saying this will happen with you, but sort it out one way or another having children is so important, and he needs to really want to do it.

Morning all!

Haven't been on for a while. Then this morning I realised I couldn't remember when I had taken my last Pill, and thought "I know, I was asking the "waiters" about coming off the Pill, so can check there"... This thread has become a bit like a diary!

Welcome sands. How old is your DP if you don't mind me asking? I know a lot of men who couldn't deal with the idea of having children until their (very) late 20s or early 30s. So I guess the question is, does your DP want children at some point but just not yet (in which case you could maybe compromise on timescales), or does he really not want them ever... I do agree with karbea that you need to know before getting married... Good luck, hope you get the right answer.

I am also completely terrified by the idea of being a parent, as is DH. However I keep telling him it's natural to be terrified, after all it's a big a scary thing to do - it doesn't mean we shouldn't do it though! He is still suggesting a TTC date of September rather than June but I am remaining firm. Just found out another friend is pregnant...

Aww, minipie - I feel for you. I think if all my friends were sprogging up I would feel much worse about not having one.

I mentioned to DH last night that I was scared and he very calmly replied:
"Yes, it is scary, but we know we're going to have babies one day so it's not like we have to choose, so we may as well do it this year."

Eek.

Good luck persuading your DH to go for June, Minipie. Shall we hold hands when we jump? :-)

Hmmm thing is although I want a baby loooooads I don't think I could ever not marry him, just because he never wants one. If he really never ever ever wants one then I'll just have to live without I spose.. Both early 20s so we've got plenty of time - I'd just always imagined having kids youngish. Very angry at ex GF for making it so shit for me - he was very up for it with her till she ruined it :(

I think we just need to talk more and I need to be more patient!! Tis nice to have somewhere to vent though...

Capreece, that is brilliant advice from your DH. I wish mine would say nice reassuring things like that to me.

Do you know what, Capreece, that's the argument I've been using to DH (it's going to happen some time so it might as well be now).

Yes we should definitely hold hands! I don't think any of my RL friends are going to be quite in time with us (they all seem to be either pg/TTC already or a long way off) so will need some MN TTC buddies!

Quod, I saw your post on the other "waiters" thread about your DH agreeing to TTC now... I can totally understand why you are scared! If you've been the one pushing and suddenly the tables turn, it does make you question whether it's what you really want. How about if you set a date for trying to TTC in, say, a month's time, that would give you time to get used to the idea?

Sands if you're early 20s then there is still plenty of time for your DP to change his views on DCs - I reckon it's pretty usual for a man to be terrified by the idea at that age (or indeed any age)! I think your four step plan (house, engaged etc then TTC) is a good one - I think lots of guys don't feel comfortable with the idea of DCs till they feel they've got the rest of their life set up well IYSWIM. What did the ex GF do to turn him off having children??

Sands again, changed my name though!

Thanks minipie - I think you're right, He does like to have everything sorted, even if they can't be!

Well firstly I think he was pushed into it a bit early as she deliberately told him she was on the pill when she wasn't...They had a very rocky relationship from what I understand with lots of rows etc during pregnancy. When born, she told her family he was abusing baby, and after 3months he'd had enough on constant allegations. So think its the whole experience of it really - I think he thinks that pregnancy and babies turns all women into crazy crazy people and ruins relationships. While I realise I would probably be suitably hormonal, I doubt I would ever tell my parents he was abusing our baby when he wasn't (He's much more of a hitting a wall type when even at his angriest as he hates hurting people or even making anyone sad!!!)

of*

Welcome Sands
Have nothing constructive to add to what everyone else has said.

A friend had her baby 19 days early we didn't know what the sex was before birth. So brought a little romper suit and came today (ordered from next) showed DP and he smiled and said that's cool :)

Nothing more to add except DD is at my mums for the night so me and DP are having a Prison Break marathon snuggled on sofa

Bath for me. mini & Capreece - when are you jumping?