Just MC and ready to try again? Pack your cake wine and tightie whities and join us for more ranting weeping and most of all laughing! All welcome! (Part 9)

[DachshundAntlersRule]

Had an mc and need some wine, chocolate and somewhere to moan and cry? This is the place to be! We chat a LOT so it can be hard to keep up, but everyone on here is great and will hold your hand until you get your BFP.

jiggle welcome.

nix everything crossed that your scan goes well...

of all the bfps recently but am pleased for you all really!

in dachs world I'm starting another IVF cycle today. FX this one goes better than the last one. Not sure I can face doing the list as I'm on my iphone but if anyone does update it I'm on day 3 of my new cycle...

Nix throwing up post tooth brush is absolutely a symptom...I used to get that with DS, was a nightmare - throw up in morning, brush teeth to get rid of taste, throw up from toothbrushing, want to brush again but scared of throwing up...it's a horrible circle.

I read the buses every so often - I like them for the all the chatty innocence. It makes me feel like the big bad wolf even contemplating going in and saying 'yeah, got pregnant, miscarried, got pregnant again, miscarried that one too, it happens...but it probably won't for you'.

Sorry, this is all a bit bleak.

Hello jigglebum so sorry for your loss, at 11 weeks you must have just about been feeling that you were nearly out of the woods. That's so hard. Especially if you don't have anyone in RL to talk about it with except for DH. Is there noone you can confide in? I know it's not usual to tell people that you're TTC but I've found having just one person in RL know what is going on is helpful and doesn't feel embarrassing at all. Plus MC is so common you often find out that people you'd never guessed have experienced it too.

I think I might take my tinsel off...

Hello everyone, hope you't mind me joining in but this seems like a good conversation to be part of. I had a MC on Christmas Eve so am still in a pretty low place but I feel like I need a bit of hope and cheer as well as the sadness of the MC thread.

Obviously we're a long way off TTC again and the thought of it is totally terrifying at the moment - but this was my first pregnancy so I'm damned if I'm going to give up yet.

Any advice on how to get through the next few days? I don't feel too bad when I'm safe and warm in my own home with DH to look after me but am dreading the thought of going back to reality (i.e. work) in January...

Hi there

Welcome both of you and so sorry you've both had such a shitty Christmas :(

Hadrian if you don't feel up to it (physically or mentally) then you could get your GP to write a sick note for a week or so, it can be really draining going straight back to the daily grind, you've got to give yourself as much time as you need to recover.

Ochaye this is indeed a lovely thread. V.good to hear you have support in RL too - it makes such a big difference doesn't it?

Hi owlbooty. I understand why people don't tell friends in RL, but I prefer to speak about things. And I only tell the people I know will be a support to me. I've done it every time I've been pregnant. It really works for me but I know everyone has their own way of dealing with things.

What's your story? I've tried to read back through the thread but it's quite hard to remember everything.

Hadrian - I would second what owlbooty syas. I'm back at work today and feels really strange. Having had a secret from them all and now to not have it anymore ... it feels a bit empty. If you need more time you should definitely take it.

Ochaye you are formerly northeastmummy...no? waves from the diffed thread, this is where i have lived for the last 5 months x hope you are doing ok xx

Hadrian also sorry for your loss esp at christmas, not good at any time though :( hope you are doing ok, welcome!

Owls shitting oneself!!! Felt sick yest, today nada!! Brown goo has gone hoorah....!!!

Hi there StNix - yes 'tis me . I saw you were pretty active on here which also drew me to the thread. It's always nice to have someone familiar around.

I'm so sorry you're having to wait so long for your scan. You could never have predicted the crazy opening hours over Christmas! It sounds like everything's looking positive though. I'll be looking for your news tomorrow!

Hi - thanks for all the lovely words - nearly made me cry again! So sorry to hear about your recent losses ochaye and hadrian.

A couple of friends in RL know too but haven't een them since. Other than that my parents and in laws know (and of course DH). My mum has had flu so no real time to sympathise - apart from to tell me I shouldn't have gone sledging (told her that was NOT the cause) and that she thinks people tell others thet are pregnant too early these days! She is my mum FFS I thought she would appreciate knowing. So not that impressed by her support and in laws don't really know what to say but have been great at helping with DS.

Physically feeling not too bad now, though still bleeding a bit. I had very heavy blood loss at the time (was horrendous and hospitalised overnight because of it) but does mean I am likely to finish mc naturally too. I actually feel in a better place emotionally than I thought I might too. Christmas and DS have helped me not to dwell on it.

Hadrian I would get a sick note too, if you are still feeling fragile. I saw the GP the day after I came out of hospital (as I self discharged as wanted to get home) and along with being brilliantly supportive (he saw me for about 40 mins) he offered me a sick note. However, dont think you can geT one as a SAHM!

Also forgot to say - so pleased to see the BFPs - all the more special on a thread like this I think.

Yes maybe I will take some extra time off although I am moping round the house a bit today so perhaps it would be good to be busy again. Running out of things to distract me although I now have a very tidy knicker drawer...

Have to go the hospital at 4pm for my follow-up scan and to find out whether I need an ERPC. I'm a bit nervous about it - maybe that's why I feel particularly low today.

Hello to ochaye and so sorry for your loss. Sounds like you're coping really well - good luck back at work.

I can't figure out all the back stories on this thread so hopefully I will puzzle out what's going on with everyone as I go along!

Hi to you too jigglebum and so sorry for your loss. Think your Mum wins the prize for most inappropriate response...

Oh jigglebum - I'm so sorry your Mum doesn't get it. Hopefully she's just not feeling 100% and will come round when she's better.

hadrian - my house is the tidiest it's EVER been. Considering we've just had Christmas, that's some achievement .

hello everyone,
Do you mind if I crash your thread and ask a bit of a TMI question?!

So sorry for all your losses, and thanks for any info you can give due to having been through all of this before.

My story briefly is that at my 12 wk scan three weeks ago it was discovered that I had a blighted ovum and would need to either wait to mc or have intervention. Decided on ERPC as had had no sign at all up to then that anything was wrong so how long it might all take was a bit how long is a piece of string? Had ERPC on 13 Dec (so now a couple of days over the 2 week mark) and I still have some (quite light) light brown bleed. It stopped the other day and I thought that was it, but it's started again. The leaflet I got from the epu definitely said bleeding would be up to somewhere between 10 days to 2 weeks. Now that it's gone over the 2 wks, is that just one of those things, or should I be worried, going to docs, ringing epu, or something? I don't want to panic if there's nothing to panic about, and I certainly don't want to go back to epu if I can help it, so thought I would ask here first.

thanks and waves to you all x

wellies,sorry for your loss, my MC was exactly as you describe, excep mine came away on its own. Bleeding can take forever...there are no real guidelines and we have realised on here that everyone is different. I think i bled for 21 days on and off. If its light brown i would think its tailing off to the end....?

Try not to panic x

my house is suspiciously tidy too! Even sorted DS toys to make way for all the new stuff.

DS ill today - poor lamb. Moping about on sofa with high temp and CBeebies on hence lots of time on MN, albeit one handed as wants lots of cuddling!

Not sure my mum would be much better even if not ill! Rang up the day after it happened to see if they could come and help with DS the next day as in laws had to go back home and DH ideally needed to work - she was too ill to come , fair enough, but my dad could not come either as he was looking after her apparently! (They are both retired and less than an hour and a half away) So not that impressed really.

Sorry wellieboots - crossed posted - sorry for your loss. I was told 2 weeks is average but can go on for weeks. If you are worried why not try and phone EPU to check for advice

Gosh I'm so sorry to see so many people joining us especially at Christmas but welcome to the thread ochaye and hadrian - I'm sorry for your losses and hope you don't have to be here too long x

hadrian I took three weeks off after my mc and then had a weeks holiday. I would have been no use to anyone before then. However I know some people function better when busy so it's down to what's best for you, but don't let anyone make you feel guilty either way.

For those of you trying to work out the back stories, I had a mmc picked up at my 16 week appointment in July this year. I already have a ds aged 7 and dd aged 4 after two completely boring and uncomplicated pregnancies, so it came as a bit of a shock. And jigglebum we kept it secret until after a really good 13 week scan and it still went wrong so all the waiting and secrecy made b*gger all difference and I wouldn't even bother next time! Sorry your mum's not being much support to you right now - I do think sometimes people struggle to deal with it, especially if they haven't Bern through it themselves.

Sorry wellieboots missed your post - sorry for your loss and I hope you're doing ok. Bleeding/spotting can go on for a while, it really varies. I think you're supposed to see a gp if it's really heavy (soaking through more than one pad an hour) or smelly, or accompanied by fever or excessive pain (can be sign of infection). However if you have any concerns then do contact your gp or epu.

Sorry to see so many newbies - here's my back story

TTC#1 for 7 years, pg earlier this year, mmc at 8 weeks at the start of August, managed medically rather than surgically. Bled heavily for about 3 days, then it slowed down but carried on for a couple of weeks altogether. Any concerns about bleeding etc then talk to your GP - it's better to catch things earlier if there is a potential problem. Since the mc have had IUI and then IVF, neither of which resulted in a BFP. Am starting another round of IVF today. Feels like it's my last chance, with no possibility of success and therefore a futile waste of time and money. (You're supposed to think positive but I don't want to get my hopes up to have them dashed all over again, so I'm starting off negative in the hopes that it will have the opposite effect).

nix hope you're ok out there. i'll be thinking of you tomorrow - i'm sure it'll be fine...

owl thanks for the hug

Jiggle bum like the name.... If mine was similar it would probably be huge wobbly arse :)

Ps dachs best of luck for this cycle, I really really hope it works out for you xx

Oh dachs that's a hard story to read. I'll hope for a good cycle for you this time. My DD2 is called Hope. When I was due to give birth to her one of my best friends was due to test on her fourth and last round of IVF - it just seemed like a good name given the timing. It was positive and i can't begin to tell you how happy i was (and still am) for her.

I can understand you trying not to get your hopes up, but I'll do it for you .

Thanks for your story too Izzy. You've all be through so much on here. That must've been a terribly sad time for you. And like you say, such a shock after having a good 13 week scan. There just never seems to be a time we can just relax and think it'll all be ok, does there?

Hi there wellieboots. I just joined this thread today too. I think you'll like it here .

Blimey, I look away for a few hours and it goes mad in here! So sad that it's not because of an explosion of BFPs either , and especially so at this time of year. You're all very welcome though, and I hope we can support you am help you through.

hi Hadrian so sorry for your loss :( I would go gentle on yourself, get lots and lots of hugs and tlc from DH and don't attempt too much else. I got signed off for 2 weeks from work and it was a lifesaver as I was a mess. I wasn't sure I felt ready to go back after the 2 weeks really but found that having something else to focus on was helpful. I hope the scan today goes well.

Hi also to Ochaye, can definitely sympathise with the wanting to be pregnant again already. Patience isn't exactly one of my skills so know exactly where you're coming from. Hopefully you won't have to wait long. Sooo understand the weird feeling that you had a secret that only you and DH knew and then all of a sudden it's not there any more :( it's coming back to bite me in the arse too now a bit as I'd expected to go on maternity leave at Christmas so signed up for a pile of truly grotty jobs at work that were due to be completed in January in the expectation of them becoming someone else's problem.... Oh so can't wait to go back now!!!

jiggle I'm sorry you haven't been able To get much support from your mum-I've found mixed levels of sympathy/support in RL, and often found that you'll get surprising levels of support from people you would never have expected. My mum has tried very hard to be supportive but she had two straightforward pregnancies so doesnt understand where im coming from really. I think unfortunately unless you've been through it, it's very hard to empathise. I hadnt told anyone apart from my mum that I was pg, but have told almost everyone close to me about MC and when you start talking it seems to be sadly common. I've actually found it helpful to talk about it and I hope that in case it does happen to any of my friends, they'll feel like less of a failure or freak for knowing that it does happen to other people iyswim.

wellie so sorry about what's happened to you too. :( I didn't have erpc but I bled for 5 weeks on and off. I would second what the others say about phoning the epu if you're worried or if you start to feel ill. Have you done a pregnancy test to check whether it's gone negative? I found phoning the EPU more helpful than gp, as gp seems generally clueless around mc related issues. Alternatively I've heard Nhs direct can be helpful by I don't have any experience of them myself.

lady I hadn't noticed the existence of the busses until this holiday when I've had more time to scout around MN, I'd assumed they were for people that had got a BFP and knew their due date-I was completely gob smacked when I realised they are purely aspirational!!!! Hehehe I was soooo tempted to go and post something similar but thought it would be way too harsh to spoil what is such an exciting and hopeful time for them . Pretty much all of my friends in RL are going to stop the pill in 2011, and I'm finding it tough to hold my tongue when they say things like, "I'm going to stop the pill on [date] as I'd like a baby born in [date]" - not sure I was ever quite that naive but probably not far off!!!

dachs I have everything crossed for you for this cycle. I'm sorry you feel negative, I can completely understand why (((hugs)))

Oh backstory by the way is that I'm trying for my first, had a natural mc at 8 and a bit weeks in June. When I started bleeding i managed to make enough fuss that they agreed to give me a scan that showed a baby that was small for dates (looked like 6 weeks) but with a heartbeat so they told me it would prob be ok. Sadly it wasn't but I feel grateful for having seen something as I would never have believed there was even anything there otherwise iyswim.