Feisty, Fabulous Forty somethings

[galwaygal]

This is a continuation of the "More ongoing and continuing conceptions and follicling ahead of Feisty, Fabulous Forty somethings"

I thought I would keep the title short as there are so many long ones out there.

I thought I would start the new thread so that you don't forget me

Thanks for all your lovely messages. Am trying not to think too much about it, and definitely not mentioning it to DH. Am banking on the "blokes have short memories" advice I have received from about four women I've spoken to this week! (must be true...)
I'm determined that I won't become obsessed, so I'm just gonna try to chill out and hopefully get back on good terms with DH!! Got two nites out planned in the next fortnight (with him), and his mates are round tomorrow nite which always cheers him up (well the booze they bring with them does...) and usually ends up with him jumping on me. (Hmmmm..... must invite his mates round on day 14 next month....)
Had bad blood results back from GP, they were testing to see if I'd hit menopause (this was before AF returned New Years Eve)- says two of my levels were raised (can't remember what she called them now...) which MAY indicate menopause is happening It might not be the case though; it may just indicate that I wasn't ovulating that month (which I know I wasn't as AF had vanished). She said to determine whether or not MP is on its way they combine the blood test results with other evidence- i.e. any symptoms like hot flushes (none), change in body shape (Yes! bigger tummy, fatter arse!) , night sweats (none) , lack of periods (well, sort of), and age of maternal MP (asked my Mum and hers was in her 50's so not too early-phew, I was dreading her saying 44.)
Anyone else had these test results?

porth, I really wouldn't worry about those results if you didn't ovulate that month; in fact it would be odd if the results had been good for that time if that makes sense? Sounds like you have a few nice treats planned, so try to relax and yes, get those mates round more often
Nicole that's very true what you say about there being few situations that you willingly embrace that are so potentially heart-wrenching. I was actually thinking this afternoon (musing on how much sex Louise is having ) that there are also very few situations where you do everthing (more than)right (ie, swi on the right days, take the right supplements) and it still consistently doesn't work . If it was work you'd get sacked! But it will work one day for us all - that's something I feel very strongly.
Right, end of philosophising and back to marking social policy essays The bistro will be (re)opening Friday,with special rates for members, so get thinking about what you'd like!

hello everyone. porth do you know what the figures were that the dr gave you? (then you can do what I'd do in the same circs - google wildly!).

We've booked our flights! woohoo. so now I can get pregnant under sod's law.

I'm around cd7 i think too - no sign of ov here, but eagerly awaiting dildo cam on Friday to find out how close I am!

libby half marathon sounds good! I couldn't walk after running 2 miles the other night! I booked a skiing holiday last march on the same basis (i.e hoping I would get pg and not be able to go) - unfortunately i'm still here.

nicole i take folic acid (I think 800mg), vit b and also agnus castus. the last 2 because I think I have a luteal phase defect. I don't take anything else - evening primrose oil gave me really bad pmt symptoms.

Nicole i increased my folic acid as something someone had mentioned at work and whatever your body doesn t need it excretes anyhow.Sex at nights swimming in the morning!!!!

Diege glad the bisro's open again i ll consider my order.Sometimes it feels like bloody work!!!!

Porth beer,beer,beer always does the trick!!! Of course unless it has an adverse effect!!!!

BB glad you ve booked your flights yeh!!!!

A bit down here .Still no smiley face so convinced i m not ovulating this month.Thanks all for trying to reassure me that i ovulated early on.....You know when you just get something in your head

I ll keep testing,got 5 days of tests left and keep swi every 2 days.mmm.............

Louise This may be a silly question, but do you temp? Fertility friend stress that this is a sure sign to find out if you O'd. God I feel stupid asking you that, you probably do everything and more. But it's just I keep reading that the surge tests are secondary signs with the temping and CM being the primaries.

I know the temping won't help you before ovulation, but it may help you to feel a bit more relief to know that you have actually ovulated after the fact, if that makes sense!

All these bodily functions are fascinating. CM is my favourite. I never knew it could be so interesting! I feel like making a web page www.ratemyCM.com!

I'm hoping to get to the Bistro one friday night, but alas, this weekend is out as I'm away. Nothing exciting, but a much needed break so I'm looking forward to it.

Thanks for the welcome ladies. Bit of history - had DD when I was 40. been trying for nearly a year for No.2, had an early MC in October. Just gotten back on the baby wagon as of this month. AF due any day now - I don't actually know as it can be anything between 21-29 days.
All the ladies in my ante-natal group have had or are pregnant with second. I knew it would be more difficult for me being older but that doesn't make it any easier. One of the girls is very supportive, otherwise, its not mentioned/nobody asks. I generally feel very left out, and after the last meet up, cried all the way home (DD had fallen asleep).

I worry about complications for me any any potential baby, that also goes with the territory too.

I worry about us affording a second, (currently not working, made redundant while pregnant, had a contract for just under a year but then ended last June). If I got pregnant, I'd be out of the job market even longer. On a good day, I conclude that while we may be broke for now, there will be time to work while DD is at school (hoping the job market picks up by then!)

However, my Mum had me when she was 43 (one of twins, already had three at home) and that was the sixties so thinking of her is my daily inspiration!

This thread is lovely and supportive and I feel I've a lot in common with many of you. I'm not a prolific poster, though do post more then I did at first and this has to be my longest post ever, its a bit scary!

cereal welcome - we have a lot of similarilities!

Am 42, 43 next month. Was 40 when DS arrived. Started to TTC when he turned 1, have had 3MMCs in the meantime, all 10-12 week stage. So TTC now for 19 months, with fuck all to show for it.

I was also made redundant when DS was 3 weeks old (and he was 3 weeks early!). My mum had me at 39, youngest (by far) of 4.

I am virtually the only person in the world in my circle not to have more than one child. It sucks.

Cried tonight when DP was talking about a guy doing some plastering for us on a house renovation (worked for us half a dozen times before - really nice bloke, who had his DS1 5 months after us and has since had another) who was talking about his money worries and not wanting to do plastering as when he greets his kids at night they get covered in dust... "at least he's got 2 lovely boys" I sniffed. Sounded so shallow saying that - I guess I mean everyone's got their angst :(

So welcome x

Have had 2 days of very light spotting, am CD25 - suspect bastard RTD very close.

Hope everyone ok - sorry for no name checking.

Must go zzzzz, challenging pm with DS, and know he'll wake in the night. Been watching Mary Portas - LOVE HER.

Big mwah to all.

Morning All! Cerealqueen try not to worry.I don't think you are too old(of course because I'm older!) and honestly, like Deige said, I think it is a matter of time. I think we'll get our baby if we can be patient.

As for not really affording it, I know what you mean, but I will never let money dictate how I live my life.I know that sounds stupid, and I don't live the high life or anything, but I think when it comes to children, it is a matter of the heart, not the bank balance. I too am thinking I'll make up for the lost income later, but having said that, may have to go back to work if it gets too hard.

I let my DH worry about money, and I convince myself all will be well!(head in the sand emoticon).

Beattie I hope sods law jumps in and you get pregnant! Last pregnancy I was supposed to hold off because of a trip to Bali. It turned out that although I would have scraped in with the airline, I couldn't get travel insurance (I was 33 weeks), and honestly, in the end I was glad I couldn't go because I worried too much about having the baby early in a third world country. Of course he was born 1 day after his due date! My family went without me because we would have lost too much money! My youngest daughter stayed with me, and we had a really nice time (which I think was very good before the next baby) but I missed my DH terribly.

It turns out that if I'm pregnant now, my due date will be in the middle of our holiday at Rottnest Island! Hubby will not be too pleased, but I really don't care. We can always change the date and go earlier.

Louise I do really like fertility friend and taking my temperature has really helped with confusion. Sometimes I'm not sure about the opks being accurate, but the temp rise always tells me exactly when I Oed.Some people find it just adds another level of stress, but as a control freak, I like it, I feel less stressed!

Porth, I wouldn't worry about those test results. Until you have totally lost your periods, there is a chance. Those results can vary so much too.If you did them now, they'd probably be fine.

I've not had any testing done, and don't want to because I think I'd worry too much if they gave me bad results(head in the sand emoticon again)!

Nicole thanks for asking after me. It is sad that I lost our little one, but I'm doing okay now. I consider my loss to be quite small compared to the losses that others have endured. I'm blessed to have never had a miscarriage before, and still hope that I'll get the golden egg soon!

Ooooh Gum Rottnest Island, I went diving there a couple of decades ago! yes, really it was a couple of decades ago! scary! So long since I was travelling in Oz!

Cerealqueen yes I think I've got something in common with you too. I had my DD when I was 39, just under 3 months before I turned 40. I've been trying again for over 5 years but please don't let that put you off because I think my fertility problems are different to most people on this thread. I had problems before I turned 40 and we have been trying with donor eggs and are now waiting for another (final) shot with donor eggs. I can really associate with the baby group thing. My post natal group of 8 has 5 mums who produced another one, two mums who produced another two and... me... When the last mum had her second longed for baby I did feel very left behind. But I guess I do have to say I would not swap my DD for any of their kids so I am happy, although, yes, sad at times that I have not yet managed to have another. Have not given up hope yet but we have got a hamster in the mean time! (Yes, I know that sounds flippant but I felt at least DD could have a pet).

Diege wow a cockatiel how lovely. www.parrot-bird.com/cockatiel-pictures.html

DD and I are now fighting over who gets to hold the hamster and who is better at holding him. Yes, I am sad, sad, sad!

Hippy so the OPK makes you feel able to have sex! So it is a sex aid??!!

love and hugs to all, sorry not to name check, have a hamster to hold!

Morning ladies, will be scrolling through your posts later to see how you've been. Off to physio shortly but have a burning question...for those of you that take your temp, is it best to read temp in centigrade or fahrenheit please?

Hi all.

Nicole i don t temp.Suppose i should but never got in to it!!! However, i can feel the difference at times [I know not particularly scienctific!!!!]

Hi Curly X

Jolls you sound down.Wonder if its a "down" month for us all generally.I feel down

Gum glad you re ok XX Glad i m reding all these tales of people having their dc at 40 come on bring it on for me!!!!

Swi [or not maybe just for fun this am!!!!] will test opk later but think thats it for this month.Glad i ve got counselling today as need it today.Oh Georgie why aren't you here???? .

Try and have a good day all.Hopefully i ll popst in a brighter mood later .

curly I don't think it matters whether it's fahrenheit or celsius as long as you are consistent!

My thermometer has changed itself to fahrenheit and I find it very confusing as i dont know what the norm is for me

Whoever was asking about temping - I do temp, but don't find it terribly helpful as my sleep gets disrupted anyway alot (today I woke up at 4am for some reason) and sometimes the thought of taking my temp adds to the stress and I wake up at random times through the night and take my temp! I don't think my chart is very meaningful at all, although I can generally tell that I have ovulated (in retrospect), it is just hard to pinpoint when...

In an ideal world I'd have a dildo cam every month so that I would know for sure... perhaps I should get a scanner installed at home?

jolls sorry you fee so crap. I understand a bit how you feel - I find it so unfair that other people are getting pg seemingly with no problems (always remembering Hippy's cautionary tale, or trying to anyway) - even people on here and celebs

welcome cerealqueen and good luck! Alot of us on here had a mc last year - hopefully we'll all be up the duff soon.

nicole I also feel fascinated by the whole science of ttc - a world I was previously unaware of! Having the dildocam is part of that. I'll get to see my follicles and be able to cross check with temps, cm and the cbfm! it's very exciting. [note to self: get a life].

oops louise was typing my long ramble for so long I cross posted.

sorry you feel down today - completely understandable. fwiw I think you probably did ov earlier this month too. Hope your counselling helps a little bit this afternoon.

[am in awe of your swi too!]

Hi all
thanks Lou and BB, yes I am a bit low, but it's not all TTC. I get a bit grey sometimes anyway. Try to fight it, but sometimes you have to just let it flow I think! And IRL I'm nearly always upbeat (facade!)... so it's good to "let go" on here.

Met someone I used to do a class with this morning, my DS1 the same age as her DS3. Of course she was 6 months pregnant with a DD. Just what you want on the day bastard RTD definitely arrives. Arse. Bollox. Arse again.

Bless Italian and your hamster :). Very therapeutic little furry things!!

Right, time to play trains with DS. And order that DHEA.
xx

Wow - i bugger off for a couple of days and come back to find you've all been yakking away

Sorry to those of you who feel down - it is a shit time of year for anyone - never mind those who've been through MC's etc..

It is a very odd thing that we go into this with our eyes open knowing we could once again be hurt - but there are always positive stories to keep us going. alba seems very settled with her new son and lia is doing well - plus many more.

I had some funny old pains on day 6 and 7 and am wondering if I am gonna join lou in ovulating early and then chasing the smiley face for days. Ahh well, at least you know lou that there was no shortage of sperm - Hippy whispers 'Louise is a sex-addict' under her breath!

Nicole - thanks i will defo message you about IOW. Glad to hear you are diving into the whole TTC stuff.

diege glad we are in-sync again this month .

jolly totally shit to get your period and then bump into a new preggo - I know you're gonna get your turn at a sticky bean soon - i feel it.

cereal welcome - you'll fit right in here.

muchlove fingers firmly crossed for you tomorrow.

BB enjoy dildo-cam on friday (if enjoy is the right word).

curly i agree that it doesn't matter which you temp in as long as you stick to one or the other. I have stopped temping but i did do it for a couple of months - come to think of it that was when i got my last BFP . i found that i was dreaming about taking my temp and like BB it was disrupting my night too much.

Big mwah mwah kisses to all. Glad the bistro is all fixed and the staff are back in(lazy gits).

BB - to turn your thermometer to the other reading, press to turn on then press again before the bleep!!! This will change it from F to C or viceversa! I have done it accidentally on many occasions, it is very frustrating when half asleep. Even did it this week, got a reading of 100.1 F and thought, that means i have a temperature, but not convinced and put it back to C it was indeed 38.0C I was officially ill!!!!

ooh thanks GG will turn it back to C then. didn't know how/why it changed in the firs place - probably one of my nocturnal temperature taking sessions!

BB yes my counselling helped, as i knew it would.Last session in 2 weeks time but she said i can re-referr myself if needed when i return to work.Why are you having the dildo cam? Do you have pcos or another reason? If you don t mind me asking.

Hippy Yeh!!! Join me in the "early" club this month .I m convinced i ov'd early this month the more i think about it.You re right there is still lots of hope for us all we ve got to remain positive.I know how bloody hard it is though!!!!

Jolls poor you....I m convinced the whole world is either with child or had new babies whilst be smug at the same time at their "perfect" lifes!!!! Bar stewards!!! Our time will come i just know.I can feel it in my water.!

Italian enjoy your hamster.arh....

Well , of course,no smiley face..I know i m becoming boring, i m boring myself,but there was no reason to think i didn t ovulate was there?

Now i m going to get over myself.I m driving myself mad.

hi Lou, glad your counselling helped you a little. Seems crazy to me that it ends so soon, I can imagine that counselling would be a support for you for years.

I'm having dildo cam because I went to see a consultant a few months ago, as I had been trying to get pg for over a year and have had 3 chemical pgs in that time. consultant has arranged for dildo cam to track womb lining/follicles etc, to check what's going on - have dildocams throughout the month. -of course it will only say what is happening this month, and next month will be different, but i am interested to see when my ov occurs in relation to the positive tests on the cbfm and the rise in temps as I think there is a delay for me, am also worried about womb lining.

The nhs [who i work for] only fund 8 sessions which, apparently, is good according to ny counseller.

Oh i see about the dildocam.I ll keep that in mind if i have another cp.Had 2 in total since Dec 09.Have had scan, blood s and semen sample [dh,not me obviously!!!! ] previously all nad.

Did something really stupid i fished my ovulation tests out of the bin to compare lines!!!! I know, i m a minger!!!!! [Only in the bathroom bin ,not that makes any difference!!!] and think ,looking back, line was darker on 1 of the tests.Problem is i don t know if it wad cd12 or 14!!!!

So looking back i had bd enough either side.So i ve decided i did ovulate and thats that!!!!!!

Promise will shut up now!!!!

I'm getting strange images in my head of what this dildo cam looks like and it aint pretty!

Anyone care to explain exactly what it is and what it actually looks like? Or am I destined to have these images forever more?

louise please don't shut up! I'm sure I'll be picking mine out of the bin this time around and I don't want to be the only one to have done it!

nicole it's just an internal scanner - it's a probe that they put a condom on, and insert (to giggling when it's me ). Just gives a better, clearer picture, closer to the "action" than abdominal ultrasound. Have to say I've never looked at it that closely - it's lie back and think of England ...

PS Hippy, where have you been and who signed your leave of absence form... ?

nicole dildo cam is as you would expect - a dildo shaped camera that they put a condom (thing)on and then shove it up you!

not pleasant, but strangely compelling (at least to me). will be disappointed if I've already ov'ed and miss seeing it.

ooh jolls I like to get a good look at my follicles

try to avoid the fact I'm naked from the waist down with a woman very much at the business end.

(I try to forget going through the same thing so many times during my mmc, but it helps that I don't have to go back to the hospital this time).

BB when the meter's running my darling you can have a long hard look at whatever you fancy . How are they all at the clinic?