Ancient Egypt; where the regal BESH barge floats gently in De Nile.

[owlboots]

Glittering seductively in the evening sun, crewed by swarthy slaves, waited on hand and foot by bare-chested manservants bearing a rudimentary form of gin.

We have golden temples decorated with hieroglyphs for sacrificial offerings (and woo from the soothsayers) if required, and The Pit is full of asses? milk.

So, put on your eye make-up that goes out as far as your ears and jewellery so weighty it leaves dents in your head and step out to survey the peasants on the banks.

Come join the 30s TTC if your womble is as ancient and crumbly as Tutankhamen! Egypt; the thread where everyone eventually gets to be a mummy whether they like it or not.

argh bitey i hate the tight in the chest stressy feeling. Sounds like you have been taking on to much (or rather had too much put on you) c'mere and have a cuddle erm i mean chinese burn. and i have stolen some of boos green fags for emergencies, its ok as they are virtually virtuos.

I went in search of chocolate and have discovered TB has eaten it all. I can't really blame him as he is working on the assumption I can't have any but a little nibble would have been nice, have to settle for melon. pah.

fanks rocket I am going to open the Christmas Quality Street when I get home. and eat them wrappers and all

Bitey you will still get Maternity Allowance though rather than SMP and actually works out about the same. I had to get MA last time as had only just changed jobs when i didn't know was preggo. You just don't get the 6 weeks at 90% pay you get with SMP. But, you don't pay tax on MA which you do on SMP.

You be kind to yourself - you have to start being a bit selfish now workwise as you haz bigger fish to fry

i am in the same boat bitealot I will get MA as I will either be unemployed or self employed by then. I hadnt thought about the tax aspect of it, thanks for that GG. good news.

Neither had I, actually. So although I am worse off than had I remained employed, I am slightly less worse off than I thought!

bitey when will you finish work and when is your EDD? You need to have worked for 26 weeks in the 60 weeks prior to giving birth. I think I am just going to scrap it, thank goodness.

Thanks BESHes, what pisses me off is that I have worked here for four and half years and have the right to be considered a permanent member of staff (and have brought in hundreds of thousands in research grants) but when contract ends so does employer's responsibility. So if I had a longer contract I would get maternity pay from them which would be a lot more money. If I can conceal diffedness and get another contract I will be OK. Going to have to invest in some very loose and flowing interview wear for the new year!

Anyway sorry, this is a TTC thread and not the place for my rants about money. Will get a sense of perspective immediately!

Hags v of all the homemade chocolate things that are going on. I made a chocolate cake once it was called Can't Go Wrong Chocolate Cake - any guesses as to what happened??

Have been to dentist AGAIN. New teeth. Can't feel mouth but will be v happy when I can see new teeth

I was thinking a while ago about leaving my job as I think it's a massive factor in the no baybee win situation. But then the dollar is also important. If I started a new job how long would I have to be there for to qualify for any mat pay?

I am too scared to admit I haff NO idea about the Princess Bride - is this a BAD THING??

Sunshine I think that its as soon as you have a permanent contract, ie if you are on a 3 month probationary period which at the end of the 3 months your contract automatically becomes permanent then after that they will have responsibly for you. They can't get rid of you just because you are PG and if they are down sizing then you have priority for the available positions. But that might be worth checking as I'm not 100%.

Thanks Rocket. I will endeavour to find out more.

Gah. bleeping metal little fucker. Been sulking all day, even though I did know really, but had been really emotional this week (cried at beautiful frosty trees WTF?!) so had got hopes up a bit, as usually just cross and ranty pre droid.

bedtime for smalls, back later, for personal messages/ drunken ramblings (unlikely as have no wine, though there is a bottle in the garage for chrimbo that's whispering to me....

Moley droid sux, it's official. Snogs and nipple tweaks for cheering purpoises.

BitingMe even if you are FTC you can qualify for SMP if your contract ends less than 15 weeks before your due date. It sounds like you have worked at least 26 weeks out of the last 60, which is the qualifying requirement. As the others have said, if your contract finishes before the 15 week cut off you can claim MA.

Boo my sincerest apologises for mistaking the two Princess films. I didn't realise they were 2 different things (although now realuse that Diaries and Bride start with 2 entirely different letters so aargh)

I'm on the bus on the way home from work but as it's Too Late To Cook I'm going to pick up takeaway pizza for dinner from the conveniently located pizzeria by the bus stop.

I'll be trying to motivate my tired ass into SWI tonight as well so wish me luck. (disclaimer: not actual ass, I think you'll see from my BESHtionnaie that I won't be making that mistake again

@ truff's bumming.

starnose Not fair, if you start weeping at the "beauty of trees" you should either be diffed, or your friends & relatives about to stage an intervention.

I should do the sechs today, but I fear it falls under the category "pleasure" rather than "duty" and tbh I can't be arsed to feign interest.

Hello BESHlings.

Went on my work Christmas do last night and it was a damp squib. The place we wnet to was wall to wall bald men with no other women in sight. wierd. Some of them tried to chat us up which was most unwanted. We had a buffet which was pretty naff,then we decided to have some cocktails. The barman was about 18 and seemed to have never made them before - I taught hime to make a cosmopolitan but he drowned it in Cranberry so it tasted like, erm, Cranberry! The 'entertainment' was supposed to come on at 9 - man and guitar didn't appear till 10. After one song (the dullest version of 'stuck in the middle with you' I have ever heard) we decided to leave for greener pastures, (we wanted dancing) only to find that Worcester was dead as a doornail everywhere else. Cosied up in a nice warm pub for booze and chat in the end which was nice (I work in a luffly team) but I was home by 11 stone cold sober!

Re: weeping. Me and small child are watching the first Harry Potter film this morning and I got tearful at how little they all are. The thing is, I am like this any time so it doesn't point to anymore likelihood of diffage really [hgrin]

No need for apologies Truffles my love, but do watch it anyway, 'tis a treat and pleasure.

I mean (still stuck in Hallowe'en me)

• That'll learn him.

Bitey this may not be at all helpful but where I work also has a habit of handing out short (research-related) contracts and apparently when they've passed a certain point then they are supposed to make you permanent. At least, that's what has just happened to me when I yelled at them about it.

See here - although obv. this might not apply to you for some reason. Now give me your Quality Street pliz as payment for useless advice

Boo I always cry at everything too. I can't watch Seaside Rescue at all as I weep copiously all the way through as people are rescued. Mr Shoes thinks I am demented.

Sunshine I made the shittest chocolate cake ever a few months back when the inlaws came over. I had not realised that my tub of bicarb was way out of date. The cake did not rise even a centimetre. You could have used it as a frisbee and it looked like a misshapen cowpat.

Truffs hope the SWI went well and you remembered which orifice you were meant to be using

Today I have to make food for a big Xmas party. Quite a lot of food. So far I have managed to surf t'internets and read a book whilst lying in bed drinking tea. So that's going well, then.

at boos Harry Hill themed christmas party.

Thanks for the link owly I am shouting vay vay loudly about the permanent bit and they've agreed I can apply. Won't stop em making me redundant when the research money runs out though. I am WAH today and have only just started working having instead copied you and spent the morning in bed with a cup of tea and a lot of toast. I am re-reading the glass books of the dream eaters after Italianomamma reminded me of how rude good it is, and lost all track of time. My god my employers are lucky to have me!

'Lo all.
I am 'tres' excited as am off to friend's wedding this weekend ALONE!!!! fucking !
I will cry. I always do. At everything.

owlie forget 'making', try 'buying'!

biteme hope you get confusing things sorted

moley have some TNT for the droidy fecker.

a cheer for truffs to shout at her man:
"gimmie an S. gimmie an H. gimmie an A. Gimmie a G. Nooooowwww give it to me!"

Sorry about the rusty fucker starryeyedatfrostytrees does this mean that SWIing will coincide with getting very drunk at Christmas parties? Sounds like a plan for sucess to me!

Bitey I am available for hire as an assassin should it come to that

Milano fucksticks, you are so right. I am now arse-deep in half-made pastry, and am delighted to report that the stuffing cooking in the oven is actually making me feel sick. Seriously, I am actually delighted. Unless I barf on the stuffing as I have no more apricots to make another batch.

Am now no longer annoyed about droid, (though thanks for supportive violence, could weep at your kindness, but am all out of tears thanks to lovely trees and Corrie) instead have resolved to take anger out on inept BBB who is a) a man, and therefore worthy of disdain and has b) put my car in the garage without my consent or prior knowledge resulting in IL having to traipse over here to get me for nephew's christmas play (and yes, another tear inducer- seriously how am I not diffed, I haven't cried since molette was 3 days old and I had to miss my grandma's funeral and I hadn't slept for 5 days...you see what kind of extreme circumstances it has to be for me to even squeeze out a sniff, and this week I have cried EVERY DAY.)
and now we can't go and get our christmas tree tomorrow which I have been literally planning for a month (we go to special place where you can dig/chop down a tree of your choice, it's mmmmmmagical) (and would probably make me bloody cry if we ever got there) and now will have to do tree and decorate on sunday which any fule knows is not acceptable. Is it just me, or does anyone else find that typing out something which is making you really mad always transforms to trivial and ridiculous in type..can't decide if this is a Good Thing or a Bad Thing.

boo sorry about do, though in my dotage, I have to confess the idea of chatting to nice people in pub where you can actually hear each other speak is rapidly growing more appealing. Mine's on thurs, and can't decide whether or not to drink or not- there are no half measures when it comes to our staff, and I have playgroup in the morning

biteme am sympathetic to temporarity- have been on variable hours contract for few years now, have nothing useful to say other than here take this bottle to your kneecaps.

mammamia have a lovely wedding, wol happy baking truff get down and jiggy (pulls up chair)

I agree Moley but they all love to get hammered - I was always going to stay relatively sober to be honest as I ahd to look after my friend's 3 year old daughter today as well as my own and I didn't want to be doing that hungover. Which I didn't - so all was well

Your tree thing sounds magical.

Day 13 in the alcoholic Sunshine house and I'm wondering how I'm going to manage another night out [wishes I was 25 emoticon]

TTC has gone out the window this month.

Twinkletwinklelittlestar enjoy the tree thing sounds bay festive

Yo BESH biatches

Just saying hello, not much to report as am hoping today is ov day so should be building up to a good menkul for next weekend. All spectators welcome.

Am in awe of such domestic dedication WiseOne and sorry Bitey but am amused by tales of so much weeping. Hope you get your tree tomorrow. We are also thinking of getting a tree and decorating tomorrow so that should get us nice and festive. I've been undecided about having a tree at all as we're away for the Eve, the Day and Boxing Day plus possibly a couple more days, depending how well the MIL feeds us (usually vee good, she's Irish so it's in the genes) and how many social events are planned (again probs lots, they like a drink too, see Irish comment)

I should start present wrapping too. We'll see how kind the hangover decides to be.....

Evening ladies absent whores, i have been out to a party, but drove so as not to intake empty calories, and then ate much buffet... in tear watch, I have been a very brave girl all day, and even didn't blub when my friend made a speech at party (for son with downs who was 30) all about how proud she was of him. DHB status reapplication in the post.

Get a tree truff, they're not optional. (as long as you weren't going to get a black one, as they are the work of the devil, and Santa does NOT come to houses that have them. Or any colour for that matter. (though black's the worst) Or fake ones really.
Treeing in the morning, must get beauty sleep for annual photos. nighty night