Ancient Egypt; where the regal BESH barge floats gently in De Nile.

[owlboots]

Glittering seductively in the evening sun, crewed by swarthy slaves, waited on hand and foot by bare-chested manservants bearing a rudimentary form of gin.

We have golden temples decorated with hieroglyphs for sacrificial offerings (and woo from the soothsayers) if required, and The Pit is full of asses? milk.

So, put on your eye make-up that goes out as far as your ears and jewellery so weighty it leaves dents in your head and step out to survey the peasants on the banks.

Come join the 30s TTC if your womble is as ancient and crumbly as Tutankhamen! Egypt; the thread where everyone eventually gets to be a mummy whether they like it or not.

Alpine nice cake selection. I have zero, zich, nada in my cupboards right now. I have had fishfinger sandwich for tea. Very festive.

Boo badtimes for washing machine. Is laundrette close? Will Dot Cotton be there?

I think MS is secretly hating thought of WIAR but is putting on brave face for me (that's love isn't it!)

Why is that bint Kirsty still shitting on about stylish Christmas on TV?? This year my house will be sporting the 'spartan' festive look (bah fucking humbug)

I am here Boo. I have just been carol singing for the disabled

I am also here. On other side of the world about to check out of hotel. ps - I liked the Princess Bride interlude...

Glad to have provided amusment BrownieB [hgrin]

Care to join us more PB? I promise I will behave and not turn nutso...

In washing machine news, I posted about it on facebook and in seconds my lovely next door neighbour offered me her machine. I am very blessed me, despite the fact that this house is far too small we are so lucky living here with such lovely peeps close by, the neighbours on t'other side are our bestest friends.

Sunny why is he hating the thought of WIAR?

I think it's the thought of wanking on order! I told him there would be porn there & NURSES. In UNIFORM

Ohhhhhhhhhhhh I thought you were doing it (in a ramekin, bitey style) not him JIAping. I geddit now.

I'm back, show is wrapped for the year, had a (literal) shandy on the way home with waste of space co director on the way home, and now quaffing tesco's finest with ciabatta ( my friend, who's a bit cocky, once pronounced it 'see a batter'..I like to remember that when she's being mean and patronising)

I want more PB.

I quite like laundrettes when they service your wash, but massively sympathise when washing machines don't perform.

Am premenstrual, post play, and mid wine- it's not a good combination, so shall sit here on mitchells face in my cabin (omg, i even made myself blush then) and try really hard not to drunkpost.

poss too late..luffs you all

bugger.you're all asleep. Disadvantage to part time work and friday being on a wednesday...

Evening slaaaaags, glad to see you've all gone mental been amusing yourselves. I have seen TPB but could certainly not be quoting, am impressed. I could do you a pretty consistent line in quotes from 'Hard Days' Night' however. Genius of a fim. I really liked Anne Hathaway as her PB character but after reading some interviews with her, think she'd be annoyingly try hard IRL.

So lovely to have you back on the barge MoleFeatures and big ups on the name check. You've earned the wine fo' sho' with child organising skillz, have a chaser for me.

SunnyD wouldn't be surprised if he was dreading but lufferly that he's being so stiff upper lipped about it for you. Hearts.

We started the big shag fest yesterday and TGB is nicely on board. Think he likes us having a shared plan and has been all conspiratorial about it. Last night I offered him a buy as he's knackered but he said (dead serious) we can't just go to sleep, it's baby week! With serious face and everyfink.

God how is it only Wed Nez? Surely it's Friday by now non?

In other news, my Dad joined FaceCrack today andis now my friend on there. I feel quite bad that he will have a much better clue about what I'm up to now as I'm so crap at keeping in touch

Does anyone watch the Apprentice? If so and you're on catch up * spoiler alert * What was Sralan doing sacking the tasty piece? That twunt of a 21 year old was a right knobber. 'I'm not a one trick pony, or even two. I've got a wjole field of ponies ready to run at you.' Seriously, I'd have taken great pleasure in firing him.

Cross posts Mole see I knew it was Friday!

My cat just woke me up by trying to sleep on my face.

Anne Hathaway? In the Princess Bride? Wasn't it Robin Wright?

Have just IMDB'd Anne H. Truffs if I knew as many quotes from the Princess diaries& as I do from the bride^ then I would be deeply ashamed.

You must watch it. 'Tis genius.

oops italics fail. Anyway watch it and then you can join in the fun. Happy shagging with your luffly man :)

I have stayed away, and wine appears to have not have touched the sides ( this is the problem with not drinking for a month, you just leave lots of cavities in your bones for the wine to disappear into and so you don't really ever get drunk (? .shuttup, this IS how biology works, it is, I read it on tinternet) )instead I have been sucked into the tram wreck that is Corrie (on-line )(multiple pun explosion)
truffles I am friends with my mother on fc, and frequently forget. As did my cousin when she posted pictures of her nd a stripper... Do you think FB is the smoking of the twenty-teens? Anti-social/ have to do it to make sure you don't miss out on the cool kids/ hard habit to break?.....

Am tired, but going to bed will bring morning with inevitable beeping of the robot fucker (pink panther today) and so don't want to. It's been a year...am BORED NOW

truff My mum's tried to "friend" me about 5 time and each time I've rejected her request. I've tried to explain gently that we are not friends, we are mother and daughter. She told me she didn't use it that much and wouldn't judge me on what I wrote - but to really prove that she doesn't take it seriously at all - she went and blocked me after I refused her friendship the last time!

It's my own fault though - they never needed to find out about interweb, but I came home from uni all bright-eyed, bushy-tailed and on a software degree clutching a rickety modem and wanting to show them the wonders of the world. They could've stuck to bi-weekly trips to the library and the world would've kept turning. :( Regrets, I've had a few.

I'm supposed to be ramping up to sex week - this is with his mother visiting next week and basically me being too tired. I am seriously considering asking that he JIAP and I'll just pop it up there before I go to work.

Cakes cakes, come and get yer cakes! Last night I made 1.5lbs of carb-free chocolates. Dig in and retain your waistline! I've also got a colleague bringing me in a xmas pud from M&S Warsaw. It'd better be good or I'm sending him back to the gulags.

I believe I meant 'Bon nuit' rather than 'Bon chance', otherwise Morning After check-what-I-wrote-with-fingers-over-eyes-in -case-of-self-censorship-fail not too bad - though alpen should have been more impressed with my £25 especially since I had to look it up as had originally written £100. I have Nothing To Do today, and my car is being repaired, so even if I did, I couldn't do it, so I have a whole day to Christmas shop online, tidy and clean, and hand out with the bairn- how lovely. Hope you all have lovely days too

Aaah, mothers and Facebook. Tis a terrible combination. My mother's been on it for a while but I forget as she never uses it. Then occasionally she pops in an acid tongued, cat's bum comment into the conversation, based on something I have written on FB. Then the other day, the moment I have dreaded for two years arrived: I received a friends request from MIL

I got one from Ex-MiL FFS. Have quietly ignored it. Feel bad as she is actually lovely. But seeing as not even friends with Ex-P on Facebook...

giggles at moley wish I had been on last night to encourage more ramblings. good stuff.

is for boo & rie it looks like PB with swearing but i suspect all the good bits may be in the trailer.

I am friends with my mum on FB, then have confusing conversations about things that she expects me to know about my sisters cat as she assumes that i get exactly the same news feeds as she does. I don't think she has really worked out that if you have more than 10 friends you might not see EVERYTHING a particular person posts.

starnose I thought the Bon Chance was for everyone doing the sechs!

My whole flaming family is on face book and I have been forced to spend hours tweaking the privacy settings! My mother pokes me on daily basis, as we only live a few miles apart I don't think this is necessary but she seems to enjoy it. Right I'm off to meet with my union rep to see if I have any rights to any kind of maternity leave. Wish me luck!

I do not like the FarceBook (or FaceBoak) - it has given every stalkery weirdo I have ever worked with the ability to track me down and try and befriend me. Needless to say, I have ignored them. And my family, as far as possible.

Good luck Bitey ! Beat them with a stick if they say no.

Pony carb free chocolates? Eh? Does not compute. Last night I made a kilo of chocolate truffles with booze and double cream in. I suspect these are not carb-free.

can you make fat free chocolates pony? drewl.

Can you just make me some chocolates plizz lindtchocolatepony? I don't mind fat or carbs - all the better for smearing over my naked body face!

Thanks owlie maternity leave news wasn't amazing (stupid short term contracts) but not entirely bad (new job to apply for - hope they don't notice I am diffed). In other very stressful news I accidentally revealed that my two line managers are off sick with stress and anxiety and I am managing all the research projects and have been for last six months. Union rep said was urgent HR issue and he would talk to them. At the time I agreed but now feel sick with anxiety myself even though was right thing to do and situation was intolerable. Not sure my managers will see it that way. Sorry BESHes that may not make any sense but if anyone wants to stroke my hair would be most welcome! Have wanted a cigarette vay vay badly this afternoon as don't feel like I can breathe anyway