Ancient Egypt; where the regal BESH barge floats gently in De Nile.

[owlboots]

Glittering seductively in the evening sun, crewed by swarthy slaves, waited on hand and foot by bare-chested manservants bearing a rudimentary form of gin.

We have golden temples decorated with hieroglyphs for sacrificial offerings (and woo from the soothsayers) if required, and The Pit is full of asses? milk.

So, put on your eye make-up that goes out as far as your ears and jewellery so weighty it leaves dents in your head and step out to survey the peasants on the banks.

Come join the 30s TTC if your womble is as ancient and crumbly as Tutankhamen! Egypt; the thread where everyone eventually gets to be a mummy whether they like it or not.

I only went away for a long weekend! fucking hell! Don't know where to start! Think I am going to have to read it all over again!

that's pretty much what I said, ITS. I had a note of my wonky cycles, and told him how often we were doing it, and that was it for a referral.

Congratulations BrownB Owlie and Milano! The Nile is so fertile!

Owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwllllllllllllie

starsinyoureyes no cat is not named Mr Bitey, although he is quite bitey! I watched kickass the night before joining here and laughed my arse off at the thought of rescuing a cat called Mr Bitey. I mean it would be like rescuing a stranded dolphin called Mr Drowny. Cat's name is dirt in my house after he brought a goldfinch in this morning to punish us for going away.

PS Prague was lush but very very cold and I have drunk my own weight in hot chocolate and now have a face full of spots. Oh and morning sickness began in earnest on the easy jet flight home.

Thanks Medee

Bitey!! welcome back. Did you treck up the hill to the castle?

Oh that Mitchell is lush. Must get box set.

Plz to allow me to vent here. My fucking stepsisters are having a mega love in on facebook and I feel very because they leave me out of everything they do together and even though I don't usually mind sometimes it's just so in my face - they could just thanks each other for their amazing weekends together in some other place so I don't have to see their mutual adoration and feel all left out.

I know I am being pathetic. Somone give me a huge kick up the arse.

Welcome Bitey. Are you feeling 'Christmassy' ?

Are they ugly boo?

Boo I've had Facebook-related rage today aswell, pliz to enjoy this nipple tassle-liscious dancing for cheering up purposes.

Sunshine I believe you have missed one important question: 'where the fecking feck is my baybeeeeeeeee?'

Yes Milano and they used to make me scrub the floors wearing rags. There was a load of business with shoes regarding my bloke as well once.

I have phoned one of them tonight. I have expressed my feelings. It is A Good Thing.

I meant to say Welcome Back, not just welcome Bitey.

sunshine Tbh, if you've regular cycles it's most likely that the white goods are "made in china" and dropped from a crane when being unloaded at the docks here. Although you're unlikely to find MS sobbing in to his coffee at the office and confiding in his friends that he thinks his swimmers might possibly be below-par. White goods tests are supposed to be the cheapest & quickest, so get that ball rolling! You'll want blood tests done at - is it CD3 and CD21 (?) to check that your hormones are good. Obviously the correct method of broaching the subject is to stroll in, put one foot up on the chair, hoist your skirt, pull your gusset to one side and exclaim "inspect this, bitch!". Never fails.

Pls to be checking - any of us left who AREN'T knocked up?

princessboo You could always join the fb latest fad and change your profile pic to be Cinderella - something about wicked step-sisters and a little by-line of "oh so true to life ". Get your little vaguebook on.

Horseski me, me, me. Am entering 'Sex Week' (TM) and expecting laying on Friday. TGB well up for tag team effort of every day this week then mythical implantation shagging 5-7 DPO. If no win this month I'll be taking all of my charts to the quacks and wailing as above. Droid due Boxing Day. Has potential to be off the scale as far as alcoholic Christmases go (either end of the scale. See, am Staying Positive. Almost. Think this is a Good Thing.)

I'm not, Ski :(. Like you didn't know that already.

I don't know why you don't just take up smoking and get really fat Aries - all this healthy living stuff just ain't working is it my love? :(

Healthy living is overrated. I was so sure I hadn't even ovulated this time round that I overdid the pre-festivities with wine, beer, chocolate and caffine. It was a bit of the mindset of "fucking heroin addicts get pregnant so why shouldn't I?"

The only reason I have cut down on booze is because two weeks ago I went out and drank til I puked. Not becoming for a woman in her mid thirties. But thanks for the fag and the cheese

Caffeine Milano? Good God woman. Now don't carry a cake for the next nine months and you may be ok.

I went on a Leo Sayer twice after SWIng and before the winning stick. Am trying not to think about it too much but much like italianomamma I justified it that crack heads get diffed. Haven't drunk since but that is more to do with it tasting bloody awful!

Is anyone giving their sperm donors partners supplements? I gave FDH multi-vitamins with zinc for three months. Don't know if it helped but he had bright eyes, a glossy coat and was full of vitality

Hello aries! I think of you as healthy too, maybe becasue I also think of you as thin?

I carried some Jaffa cakes today
Red wine drinking is still good in my book.

Supplements??!! T.I.S. didn't even really understand much about the whole TTC thing so would have had to grind up tablets and sprinkle them over his dinner.

Thin don't mean helfy Bitey How's life over the Bridge then?

I'm forcing... giving MrA supps. A multivit, zinc and vit c and some omega 3. Don't know how much of an effect they have - I recently found out he had "forgotten" to take them for a couple of months which is why he is on a strict regime. He is also annoyingly full of vitality and seems to thrive in cold weather, bounding around like an over-enthusiastic spaniel. I'm taking an interesting mix of stuff - I'm too tight to fork out of PregnaCare type things, so mix and match and probably end up spending more than I would have done on the pricey ones..

And Milano , everyone knows red wine is full of antioxidants and therefore very good for you.

Aries Pollen is supposed to be good for fertility if you can stomach it
Preseed? Specially for dried up hags - worked for me.

I have a suspicion that I am only updiffed because of the dildo-cam which took place right around day 10. The quantity of gel seemed a bit excessive.

But was that special Italian gel? And if so, can you send some over? Ta. Everyone knows Italians are great lovers and really romantic, do I expect their gel works wonders too.

Oh and btw, by "pollen" do you mean honey?

Would you like me to send my husband over for a bit A?
I mean Pollen(Pliz to ignore the crap graphics). It looks like cous cous but tastes weird.

Blimey. I dunno. I've never heard of eating pollen I get hay fever - praps it may actually cure that due to complete and utter over-exposure.

Aries I thought you were healthy because of your outdoor lifestyle, striding over cliff-tops and ruddy cheeked loveliness - although in retrospect the rosy-cheeks were possibly bloody UBIs. :(

Last time around I gave jailbait a tub of zinc tablets which he promised me he'd take daily. From 100 in the pot there appear to be 98 left. And I think he dropped one on the floor.

Aries I buy the Boots stuff when it's 2 for the price of 3 .

I got weed on this morning after putting on clean clothes for work. I was wrapping up his nappy saying things like "oooh didn't you do a lot of pee last night. Who's a clever boy? etc., etc.". I could hear a funny sort of splattering sound and when I looked at willy instead of face I saw a golden arc with one end landing on my trousers. :( Kids r aces.