Ancient Egypt; where the regal BESH barge floats gently in De Nile.

[owlboots]

Glittering seductively in the evening sun, crewed by swarthy slaves, waited on hand and foot by bare-chested manservants bearing a rudimentary form of gin.

We have golden temples decorated with hieroglyphs for sacrificial offerings (and woo from the soothsayers) if required, and The Pit is full of asses? milk.

So, put on your eye make-up that goes out as far as your ears and jewellery so weighty it leaves dents in your head and step out to survey the peasants on the banks.

Come join the 30s TTC if your womble is as ancient and crumbly as Tutankhamen! Egypt; the thread where everyone eventually gets to be a mummy whether they like it or not.

Oh kat, that's shit - the timings of these things are rubbish. Conversely I am now a minimum of 16DPO - no droid and no stick. Following my c-section in July my droid returned at the "text-book" 6 weeks and has been 28 days since. First month TTC and it fucks me over.

Btw, wrt above timings - that pretty much confirmed to me that whilst being a fat old smoking gin-monster, my bits & hormones were fine fankewevehmuch and it was in actual fact jailbait's shoddy white goods.

owl I haz seen someone ask if it's safe to swim. I think you'll be OK as long as you don't carry cakes at the same time.

truff Slippery slope - before you know it you'll have 20 and then every time you post a photo of your baybee they'll all comment! By the same token, when you're awake at 3am and haven't slept for days but can't sleep and are just down - there'll always be one of them online to hold your hand whilst you pour another gin.

'lo Alps Hmmm, sounds very fishy to me. If no droid within 2 more days, piss on another one.

Morning gorgeousnessess :)

You won at balloon-modelling??

Hoorah!

Pony tis the Way Of The Droid - it is regular as a regular thing until you glimpse the tiniest fragment of white goods and then it goes completely barking mental. Mine added to the joy by deciding that I should randomly ovulate somewhere between days 12-17 too for added joy.

I did 20 lengths yesterday. There was only me and an old codger in the pool. It was fabulous. Next time, just for you, I will attempt to swim 20 lengths with a cake balanced on my head.

I keep trying to type in my username on here as owlbotty. This is not good and also slightly Wrong.

Also, yes, 16 DPO wtf? That is just not on. Evil beeping bastard.

beep beep I think I knew really that it was a fail this month due to droid-like hummings for the last 48 hours and a need to polish off a tub of B&J last night (Fairly Nuts fact fans!). Obviously am completely cool with this as it is first month TTC. Come back in March and I'll be a weeping mess!

Ah feck alps soz. Glad you are taking it so well.

Beshies have a look here. I for one am totally amazed.

Thank you but it's really no great shakes this month. I honestly didn't think I'd get lucky first time out of the gates. I'll simply have to continue having sex with the fucker. I must've OV'd later than expected this month and so SWI'd too early. Had lost enthusiasm by that point to carry on.

Oh what a drama fail - seems link doesn't work - you'll have to look at the pic on my profile instead

Suspected as much! Congratulations!

MummaMiaherewegoagain!! Brilliant news

Well bugger me! Congrats Milano!

nice work Meeeelan and many congratumalations from me. Am sure GaGa will be along shortly for intimate superglue application

Chuffing hell, Milano. How dark and convincing is your line? Sticky one to be sure. But bend over just in case.

Would nekkid dance but sore boobies would fall off. So will just foolishly instead!

Milano!

That is chuffing ace news. This fred must surely hold a record for having the most BFP's hever?

Oh my cocking god, seriously?

I blame Daniel Craig from the last fred. If they all come out with scary blue eyes and blond hair I shall not be surprised.

Milano my lovely this is top, top news. Now come here and let me superglue up your foof.

Aries I think Lucas shoots blanks. We need to find a new crush...

Hurrah Milano, sending sticky vibes.

Hmm, I think you're right Boo. I was thinking Gavin Henson. His fecundity is already proven and any brains the offspring need can come from either you or me. Or perhaps Lancelot from Merlin? Can you tell what I was doing last night? I'm so rock n roll, me. Or perhaps we could resurrect Mitchell. I think a former thread shagged him to death, but he's the Undead so can't actually die.

Congrates!!! milano sending you velcro fanjo vibes. This thread has been a corker!

rie you can keep Lancelot, I'll have Gawain, hell, why don't we install the whole cast (apart from victor meldrew) I'm sure we could find something to to do with Emily Fox and Morgana (if she can be persuaded to take that ridiculous gloating smirk off her face) Boo?

Fanks luvlies. I just came back from work yesterday and thought 'fuck it' and went and bought a test. That test was done at 6.30pm and those lines came up as soon as the stick got a wiff of piss Am incredibly zen and not stressing yet, I can't make it stick so there's no point worrying.
This fred really has been touched by the fat fertility bird (see <a class="break-all" href="http://www.google.it/imgres?imgurl=www.whitneygaskell.com/mt-static/images/fertility%2520goddess%2520two.jpg&imgrefurl=www.whitneygaskell.com/archives/2008/08/fertility_godde.html&h=300&w=199&sz=52&tbnid=sei0BZb5E3iBbM:&tbnh=116&tbnw=77&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dgoddess%2Bof%2Bfertility&zoom=1&q=goddess+of+fertility&hl=it&usg=__tmW9DBQqvh2wRya3pIZh7i_lfQM=&sa=X&ei=F8v7TOrxBdDzsgbMyI2UBA&ved=0CEIQ9QEwBQ" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here)

congratumalations milano!!

Nah Rie, couldn't be doing with an Orange baybee from Gav. Who is Mitchell? Think he was before my BEShtime.

Milano I am loving the fat fertility bird

I haff spent the weekend drinking. 'tis my plan for December.

And it's the doctors appointment tomorrow...so do I just pop in and say

"hey up, we've been at it like rabbits for more than a year. No win. Pliz to see if my bits are in working order and pliz to check MS white goods are not sub standard??"

Mitchell from Being Human. The Vampire. <a class="break-all" href="http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?imgurl=www.mtv.com/news/photos/b/being_human_091029/01_aidan_turner.jpg&imgrefurl=www.mtv.com/photos/meet-the-trio-from-the-bbcs-being-human/1625080/4357576/photo.jhtml&usg=__iRS5cBncZgjWIUsfH3D5vE1uIY4=&h=400&w=600&sz=50&hl=en&start=0&zoom=1&tbnid=VnzSp3ZjUgShvM:&tbnh=134&tbnw=176&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dmitchell%2Bbeing%2Bhuman%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26client%3Dsafari%26sa%3DN%26rls%3Den%26biw%3D1280%26bih%3D615%26tbs%3Disch:1&um=1&itbs=1&iact=hc&vpx=832&vpy=343&dur=115&hovh=183&hovw=275&tx=180&ty=148&ei=U-L7TKPOK8nQhAevxqWrBw&oei=U-L7TKPOK8nQhAevxqWrBw&esq=1&page=1&ndsp=18&ved=1t:429,r:16,s:0" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Him

He makes me dribble helplessly.