Howdy pardners, grab your corset and mosey on down to the BESHt Little Whorehouse for all Wannabe Differs (30's)

[LadyGoneGaga]

Why howdy pardners, tighten your corsets, put a feather in your hair, pull on your boots and garter (*nipple tassles optional but welcome) and mosey on down to the BESHt little whorehouse in all of Diffas. Where the finest 30?s TTCers will fulfil your every need. There?s firewater -?Hendricks-- on tap and we?ll WOOFL you until you can?t WOOFL no more. Yeehaaw.

Menu
Straight up ? the best rootin?, tootin? baby making sechs in 7 counties
Cougar style ? like Doggy but with claws, acceptable for updiffage
Rodeo ? to be followed by a quick dismount to avoid leakage
Sherrif style ? with spurs on
Backdoor ? Recreational but not recommended

Specials
Dildocam ? Half price this month only
Needlework/Foot massage ? for those who like it a little bit woo
Zinc shooters ? to keep the posse on the straight and narrow
Positive thinking ? by the glass
Eggwhite omelettes ? to keep your energy levels up
Gentlemen are kindly reminded to leave all prophylactics by the door and to kindly leave the cowboy juice in the receptacles provided as directed.

Oooh, I am about 5 days ahead of you lot. I fully intend not to drink, stress or WOOFL this month. I may however eat cake. But I will share the cake with you all

Sorry, don't want to sound like a preachy old cow.

I just thought I'd give it a go for a month and see if it made a difference. You don't sound like a preachy cow.

I think doing what feels right is good.

I am just sick of TTC ruling my life. I hate it, and it conflicts with ME, as a person. It makes me less fun, less interested in other people and less interesting to other people. I worry that I will become a different person because of it, and I want me to be a Mum, not some half crazed shadow of myself.

having said that, I am not judging anyone else for their own ways of doing things, and I will happily indulge in other people's menkul etc!! {grin}

fail!!

Moo. salts in no way do you sound preachy moi luvver. Sounds like a splendid philosophy that should lead to calmness and wellbeing :)

loving the boot/coat convo here. and the sanguine attitude saltylove sorry the droid has got you all but very impressed with the upbeat attitudes.

no new boots or coats for me this year as bought both last year although i would quite like a pair of these purely to relive my yoof. but i am holding back.

(shoes nowt wrong with a bobble hat my love)

It isn't even really a philosophy...I just miss myself...does that sound wierd??

Not at all Salts I know exactly what you mean....sometimes I hear me talking and think WTF?!! And today when I was lying flat on my back with pins stuck in me I actually laughed at myself. But the laughing helped.

Salad nice boots. Want some similar All Saints ones but see above post as to why I can't afford them ....

Sorry kitkat,sunnyD and seabreeze, that is all.

Wel clearly not, but have no words of wisdom, only sympathetic cuffs round the ear, and lustful admiring glances at all your stoicism (sp?) and fortitude.

Anyone watching Kirstie?

I want to have glamourous coat and boots, but I always feel that if I look fabulous on the outside then it will just be a universal disappointment when I take it off and reveal my a la George leggings and food covered, holey t-shirt and I will be done for false advertising
Ahem, I have a friend who has been blessed with rather short legs, and really can't wear big heels, but when trying flat boots on looks uncannily like she's wearing wellies. Of course being tall and willowy myself I can't help her, but was wondering if any of you could reccomend the best course of action and I will pass it on to her.

I also know what you mean - it has eaten my bloody life and now it's all I think about. Also my fledgling business now terrifies me as I mc when I was supposed to be shooting a big event and couldn't do it and now I daren't book anything else major in case the same happens again.

I haven't resorted to the pins yet but I do intend to have a massage next week as I need to switch my brain off.

shiny I bought the Shag Dictator today. Hoping the excessive spend will result in instadiff obviously! I considered one before hand but it says you needed two clear cyles after a miscarriage so have had to wait until now. Used ov sticks in meantime so am expecting good things. salty although would clearly prefer no droid, am also pleased to have had three periods with two normal length gaps in between them.

Gives you a chance to say "computer says no" in silly Little Britain voice if you don't feel like the secks.

Have not consulted the boyfriend about the Shag Dictator but hey, they are my sticks and I can pee on them when I want to! But got at least ten days of no obsession ahead of me now so can get some work done and enjoy other aspects of life.

Don't bet on it, Kitty - it will probably have you peeing on sticks from day 6 for the first cycle. Because it is evil like that.

Salts, you sound perfect, as usual I admire your attitude.

seaside that is exactly what I like to hear right now - I've been giving myself a bit of a talking to and come to the same conclusion. Life's just too fucking short and if I'm going to get pregnant (again) then I will, regardless of the glass of wine/cup of coffee/random, un-planned shag.

I live in boots all winter. Luffs them I do. I have stumpy, ankle-free legs so I don't do UGG-type things, nor high-heeled monstrosities but something more like <a class="break-all" href="http://www.google.it/imgres?imgurl=www.refinery29.com/img/madewellboot111008.jpg&imgrefurl=www.refinery29.com/low-rider-the-flat-classic-boo.php&usg=__8zLoJgv-Oi8kI-dI0q4UHOCwwbo=&h=400&w=300&sz=21&hl=it&start=0&zoom=1&tbnid=Dm_eQ7QZJwNCNM:&tbnh=159&tbnw=114&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dclassic%2Bboots%26um%3D1%26hl%3Dit%26biw%3D1280%26bih%3D608%26tbs%3Disch:1&um=1&itbs=1&iact=rc&dur=299&ei=pIvQTIWDE9yV4gbfndjhBg&oei=2orQTI_QNcahOsGm1MwE&esq=9&page=1&ndsp=20&ved=1t:429,r:1,s:0&tx=68&ty=131" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">this

I've been too busy to chat all day and am now exhausted and bed bound (but have new mattress and £200 worth of posh bedding so will be beauts) but wanted to say I luffs you all, am inspired by the boot / coat chats and will be back to join in the fun as soon as real life will allow.

I basically go straight from flip flops to thick socks and boots then back again with cons in between. Oh and I really want some of those chunky little ankle boits Rocket they have some with buckles on in a shop on our high street. I may indulge myself at the weekend.

Night night sweet BESHes. hairstrokes rabbit punches for all.

oohh.. new mattress. Am looking for one of those myself. To go with the new house that we will hopefully be moving into in two weeks.

Am much liking the duo boot link. Am tired, but never too tired to look at new boots.

Am wondering if I can be bothered with all the fuss and angst this month. TBH, it's the first month I've felt like that since the MC last year, so may be a good thing.

night..

I wore boots with heels when I met Poo* (plus crotchless panties, etc., etc. ), thus trying to create the illusion of being verh glam, whereas in fact, that was the first time I'd worn heels since I'd gone to an 80s fancy dress party in March 2009! (NOT the same ones, I hasten to add.)

I shall be cracking out my amazing 1950s wool cape like every winter - totally in vogue AND covers a multitude of sins, diffed or not. Although, with my thin legs and burgeoning midriff, I am going to look like a funky Humpty-Dumpty

Rip-off Westwood 'pirate' boots, fash fans.

I can't don't do heels above about 4 cm high, years of trainers and flip flops just haven't stretched my calves (or shins or whatevs) into the right shape so I walk like a man in drag and I hate that foot pad burn you get from heels.

sunshine I know the All Saints ones you mean they ARE gorgeous but v expensive. Last year River Island did a fairly close rip for about a 3rd of the price, they aren't quite as wonderfully pre battered as the AS ones but I'm sure a few months of wear would fix that. Truffs, I really like these with the ankle strap. Hmm, after self imposing a boot buying ban I am starting to waver

scroppy am jealous of cape.

princessboo I love red, the more red the better - even if one's derriere does become london bus-like. Only downfall I can see is that whilst strolling down Avenue Louise one night in Brussels with a red-coat clad friend, she was stopped and asked "how much"?. We were v flattered obviously as Ave Louise is home to high-class whores, not just a fiver for a blowie gals.

Aries You'd look stunning in a 20s style hat. I need a wide brim else I look like a power-dyke. :(

banger I like that coat very much. I need a new winter coat because it appears my nice coat doesn't fit. So either I i) lose weight instantly, ii) go around in "casual" stuff, iii) leap from car to destination or iv) suck it up and buy a new one. :( Do not want to waste money when I have the world's most beautiful coat hanging up in the hall... grrr.

Am so sorry for all the droiding going on right now.

salty I agree with you - TTC can bring out the obsessed-harpy side in the best of us. :( I've worked really hard to remain ME since the birth of Bear and I think I've managed to achieve that - and it actually annoys the shit out of me when all people want to talk about is the baby.

Right, you know how it's possible to get SEETHINGLY angry over absolutely nothing?

Well, I was trawling through Kate Moss's farewell collection for Top Shop and came across this. The same thing happened when this dress was first issued.

WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!?! That's not a fucking poppy you vacant bint, that's a fucking PANSY! How the fuckingtons does NO-ONE in the world of fashion design, manufacture, modelling, photography, marketing PR and web design not pick up on that? AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Is this it, now? Is this the 21st century? We're all so divorced from all that's good and beautiful and simple and pure in life that people can't tell a fucking tree from a fucking daisy? Hm? HM?

I realise it's not worth getting quite that ventilated about but, you know.

In other news: Good Morning! Defeat for Christine O'Donnell I see

Pone are your red whore boots still on the Duo site? I shall go and look. Mine are due to arrive this morning: if they don't do up/are too big (not bleeding likely)/look awful I shall be straight on here for a sob.

Ps Salty dear, you have spoken wisely, and words that are very much in my heart. Of course I know I will have to put some effort into this TTC business, but I am me: careless, and busy, and never indoors, and inclined to get wankered on single malt. I had started to lose me, and while she's an annoying creature, she's the only me I've got, if you see what I mean.

No, it is worth getting ventilated over. It pisses me off mightily when people have BasicBotanyFail. This might be snobbish but I don't care.

But yes, seething rage does sound like The Rage i.e. PMT. Now is the time to write to your MP, complain in shops, phone BT about erroneous bills, etc

Ps. I think you should email Topshop customer services and tell them they are shit.