Aaaah Autumn...BESH style. Join the MAD and may your loins be fruitful.

[Ariesgirl]

Aaaah Autumn...

Season of jizz and menkul WOOFLing,
Close bosom-friend of the maturing ovaries;
Conspiring with him how to SWI and bless
With baybees the hags that round the thatch eves drink gin run.

Join with us in making this MAD season very fruitful indeed.

Hello Kat! If you're bitter about getting gradually older as your womb shrivels like an discarded apple, and your soul gently rots with month after month of bleak babyfail, and you deal with your miseries by saying 'fuck' every third word and drinking decent-quality gin, you're a BESH .

You are all going to give up on me? Aren't you? I cannot hold different strands of me life together anymore. Seriously, I am on edge, and missing the luvverly BESHes is just a part of it.

Barbed, the beginner comment was re. the FC, not the general TTC malarchy. It is your first appointment, non? Or did I get that wrong? I have a feeling I did, and I deserve a good kicking, which on the whole, I think I do anyway.

Zdravstvuy RieRie (that was Russian), the 'piss off' was a jokey response to your post where I thought you took a good natured piss out of me, which, in fact you did not, and may this be my final warning against drunk posting ever, ever, ever. It was meant to be a jokey piss take anyway. Can I snog you now? When are you coming back to London? BTW, huge fan of Tolstoy here. And Chechov. I guess I gotta thing for the ruskis. I found Karenina quite easy. Or brothers Karamazov? Checkov (how on earth do you spell his name?) plays are short...

Now that I am not pissed, can I tell you gals somefink honestly: I MISS YOU ALL. Seriously.

Oh Jumpie, come 'ere for a snuggle . Life's really pissing on your chips just now, isn't it? I too am run ragged but suspect in less sustained a fashion (ie I have tomorrow off to watch iPlayer and make a cheesecake. WIN!).

I MISS YOU TOO YOU AULD REPROBATE X

ELFIEEEEEEE. Hallo! Don't worry, I wasn't offended by your piss off, just a bit bemused!

It's Chekhov I think

Will never give up on you hag, dinna fash yourself (as befits this evening's Glaswegian theme). As for That London again, I don't know. We have an enormous bill coming up - like about oooooh, 12 grand. Trips to London might be off for a while :(

I searched and found your Beshtionnaire!

1. Do you like gin? (This is compulsory, you must say 'Yes')

Yes and I also like wine and vodka and brandy and port and well, anything with a percentage value really.

2. Men - are you a gold digger or a cradle snatching cougar?
   Oooh he is a week younger than me, does that make me a cougar?! Very exciting!

3. Baybee-making - to put a baybee in your tumtum, which hole do you use:
   a) weewee
   b) poopoo
   c) foofoo
   d) none, you just pray to the baby Jebus.

Oh dear my babyfails are clearly due to a lack of religious education! Must dump the opk and get me to the church!!

4. Testing - when someone wonders if they should test for updiff (pg), do you: a) bellow 'POAS!' at them non-stop and punch them repeatedly in the kidneys till they wet themselves anyway. b) Sprinkle them with babydust and send them hugs and kisses on lickle baby angel wings.

Ha ha this is why I like MN and this thread better than the other ttc sites - no risk of nnausea being caused by vom-inducing twee crap!

5. Is R2D2: a) an adorable robot from Star Wars. b) the source of all evil.

I hate sci-fi, so whatever R2D2 means, it must be the source of all evil!

6. what colour are your walls?

Ah I wish I could say they were a triumph of colour coordination but I don't own the place so boring old magnolia.

7. Number of pets?

Zero. Not sure i am capable of looking after a poor helpless animal :) Would probably forget to feed and water it or something. Hmmm....

8. Inappropriate (read: weird) crush of shame?

Sully in Dr Quinn Medicine Woman! Mmmmmmm yes!

9. Lesbian crush?
   Would have said angelina when she was less skinny looking. A sort of half nigella half angelina type cross-breed.

10. What are your views on camping?
    Not a chance. Why spend at least 25 quid or something to park in a campsite when you could get the travelodge for about a tenner more and sleep in a nice comfy bed with heating and lighting and somewhere to plug in your laptop and hairdryer! Camping is my idea of a holiday from hell!

11. How much money have you spent on sticks you then urinate on?

i) Oh nothing, I'll probably catch first time and then get the doctor to confirm it.
ii) Over 100 quid
iii) I opened an account on ebay solely for the purpose of purchasing sticks

Well over £100 quid. Spent 50 quid when I already knew I was pg. Discovered internet sticks, purchased them, used three times as many. Don't trust results so therefore resort to buying a shop test too. Need a pay rise to fund stick budget. Want to upgrade to fancy stick reading device......It is like crack cocaine, you start small and you are sucked in deeper than you imagined.

Well done Milano. Congratulations

Rie if you take a break for sensible reasons you will definitely win. TRUFAX. Nice work on the multi-linking btw.

Takes gin off newkat. Drums fingers waiting for questionnaire.

'Tis my new favourite nickname! Can I have some cheezecake and gin? I have been drinking everyday this week, and I am ill, which makes me think I should have lemsip tonight. But want wine.

Poor poorly Queenie. I think port and lemon is a fine remedy for colds. Mix it with a few drucks and you'll be fine.

I demand to be referred to as Auld Reprobate from now on.

Rie, fucking fekking bill. So shit.

Checkhov? I always preferred Uhura myself.

queenie you should have a hot toddy. brandy is known to be medicinal at any rate. Much better than lemsip which is just like a soluble aspirin with a packet of refreshers in it.

well done on the BESHtionnaire Kat . You find me in a raging nark owing to series of unfortunate events culminating in tenth babyfail. I promise I'm not normally this toxic

Thank you Noob. Lemsip in white wine it is.

Oh you've done the BESHtionnaire! My, that was quick . Hmmmm, not bad. I like your answer to ( particularly.

Oh muser. Come here for punishment. Akshooly, I never watched much original Star Trek.

welcome back you auld reprobate we haven't half missed you too.

welcome to newbikitten too, likening POAS to crack is very wise and very funny :o

I have my Merlot. Who's with me?

I have no merlot. But I have a pan of brownies fresh from the oven. They don't seem to cut very well, but you can eat brownies with a spoon, right?

Fuck lemsip, bring on the Merl.

Gooey brownies. Freaking ace.

Merlot AND brownies, count me in. Can offer foot massages if anyone fancies?

When, I adore foot massages. Anyone who does pleasant things to my feet is in danger of being jumped on. I hope you don't mind?

Oh god. I hate feet. I hate having my feet touched. Aaargh.

brownies that need to be eaten with a spoon sound like the best sort. Yum.

12point come on down, tonight's your night. I knew I could entice at least one of you into my lair. Make yourself comfy and we shall begin (fnnar fnnar) (wink)