Aaaah Autumn...BESH style. Join the MAD and may your loins be fruitful.

[Ariesgirl]

Aaaah Autumn...

Season of jizz and menkul WOOFLing,
Close bosom-friend of the maturing ovaries;
Conspiring with him how to SWI and bless
With baybees the hags that round the thatch eves drink gin run.

Join with us in making this MAD season very fruitful indeed.

Well due aries! Obviously I fancy you all, or I wouldn't be here. Now get your kit off.

Whoa, just off a conference call (studiously working from home) and overwhelmed by muchos response. Glad to see you all speak as one Wine it is.

LadyGaga I would say a bit fuller figured than a whippet but yes Milano facial furniture that is totally inappropriate for spaghetti sauce, the type you need to follow with a towel after a drink (or have spashed walls, which I suspect will be the case in our house?) Polly I will indeed attach a picture when s/he arrives.

Ohhh, Lovely dog! If I were chosing a dog, it'd have a beard. Or I'd get a goat.

Hello heyheywe'rethemonkees I am newbie too and only on first proper cycle (last month didn't count as new nothing of egg white and SWId willy nilly). I still say drink the wine though just not too much

Would anybody like to hear a funny story? no? Well I am telling it anyway cos someone has to know!

So last night the FDH and I were SWIing and I had read that a canine position gives the swimmers less of an endurance test. At the crucial moment poor FDH succumbed to cramp in thigh collapsing on top of me and pinning [dirty smirk emoticon] the pair of us to the bed. I'm shrieking "bend into the cramp!" and he's screaming "I can't effing well move!" We were trapped for about ten minutes and only got freed when he started to laugh at my suggestion of ringing the fire brigade and the cramp miraculously faded. We are both limping today but keen to carry on as got the eggy pants this morning!

What are you flicking Aries? Your bean?

Am thororughly confuzzled as to what flavour newmonkey's puppy will be.

HB I'm so so sorry to hear about the burglary. Would be bad enough if it was just "stuff", but the fact that it's precious family heirlooms is just heartbreaking :(. I will be hoping very hard that they find the fuckers and retrieve at least some of the goods.

Ooh, you dirty, dirty beyatch, Lyra. Call yourself a goddess.

And cincotart. I'm away this weekend and want to know if she is ok. I'll leave a pile of tequila here for her, if she turns up while I'm gone. I'm sure I can trust the rest of you not to drink any...

'ello old hags and new hags! I'm back and....DIFFED!

Got a positive this morning at 9DPO so am climbing back out of the pit. I'm both elated and terrified but have a feeling this one is NOT going to fall out. Third time lucky and all that, surely it would just be too unfair to have 3 MC in a year right? RIGHT????

I'm worried about cinco too, BB. Will drink look after the tequila in case she turns up in your absence.

Twinks!!!!!!! Well whaddya know. Have everything crossed for this one, luvver. As you say, third time lucky

Oh Twinks I am so, so happy for you luvva. BESHcandles lit for a sticker.

I have just had a huge sob owing to having found some horrendously poignant things. Am knackered from clearing up and vaguely wondering why none of my sisters have so much as texted to see how we're getting on. Ah well.

at the sisters HB. That's all I'm saying. And very, very for you.

hello Twinkle Congratulations from a new hag. Many positive thoughts for a clinger.

Oh Twinks that is fantastic! Many congratulations. Everything crossed for third time lucky.

HB you found some stuff! That's brilliant :). I am focusing on the positives, not the sisters*.

• Tis behavious typical of sisters, IME .

Oh Lyra yes, also meant to say - silver bangle all present and correct! Erm, and my Dad had an air rifle under the bed .

Twinkle'sGotALittleStar, will you be having an early scan??

Twinks ! Yay yay yay :) The MAD is kicking off in style, long may it continue. DEFINITELY 3rd time lucky, everything crossed for you over here :)

HB gin tonight, my lovely, you've bloody earned it.

HO keeps a rounders bat under the bed - PE teacher version of an air rifle

YAY Twinks! A punch on the arm to you and a footstool to pop your feet up on.

Lyra why does your breath smell of tequila?

Can I please borrow someone's menkul crown for a moment? I have just POAS despite only having had unprotected sex once (I know, I know) and having done it a week post-OV. Negative bien sur.

head Thieving robbers are bastards and I'm so sorry your parents have lost things of personal value. :(

Twinkletoes Well done you! I went to my beautician on Tuesday and she is now 14 weeks pregnant following a horrible year of 3 mc's. Here's to a successful one for you too!

Hooray Twinks, that's great news, here's to it being a sticker!

Sheath up, woman.

I know you're all dying to know about my egg laying, so I will share with you that I felt a distinct and sharp sort of dig in the wombular area (right side of course - never anywhere else) about two hours ago. I reckon this was the egg being laid, and if true, this means I have about three hours. All hands to the deck, me hearties. (This last addressed to MrA, Cap'n Jack and Lucas, rather than you BESHes.)

Sorry about the bold malfunction there.

In Other News, did you know there's a gymnastic move called the Ginga? Made me larf anyway.

MrA is currently trying to decide between shagging me and going surfing. If I leave him for Lucas, it will be his fault.

Aries Put on your itsy-bitsiest bikini and tell him he either shags you now or you're going to the beach with him to get impregnated by some gorgeous 19 year old Australian. He should shag you, if not - have you got the nerve to follow through with the threat?

I'm not sure my uterus would explode. I've read conflicting reports. You know, gynae consultant said there would be fireworks and ikkel angel baybees and my babydust would give me asthma - elsewhere I've read that it does all the healing it's going to do within the first few weeks. Anyway, what would they do? Make me have a termination? I think not.

But seriously, due to job-hunting - would feel an awful fraud going to an interview whilst already diffed and if it is at all safer to give my uterus 6 months, then 6 months it is. Not risking losing a second.

jailbait uses golfclubs to beat intruders. We also have a pitbull. We don't lock the doors.

Well I could do I suppose. I wonder how successful I would actually be at attracting virile young Aussies when standing shivering on a British beach in a SE gale (our current weather) wearing a string bikini. They would pity me more than anything I think!

Hmm, do you think when the womble-twinging occurs that is actually the egg laying? I have been trying to decide this for a while as I also seem to get that funny brief pain in one side.

Aries if he goes surfing instead of shagging you I believe any jury will happily acquit (?sp) if you beat him to a pulp with his own surfboard upon his return.

I have cunningly put beer in the fridge and done all Mr Shoes' holiday packing for him. And cleaned the house. And taken the cat to the cat prison. Do you think I will get a shag?

Probably not