Avast Behind! Full of salty seamen and buxom lasses, the Gin Palais is heading off in search of Pirate Booty! For those brave BESHly wenches in their 30’s, TTC since the Black Death.

[BarbiesBeaver]

Ahoy Gin Hags, behold the Hendrick?s Palais, the finest sea goin? vessel that ever left these God forsaken shores. Packed with comely wenches and salty seamen, I be lookin? for a BESHly crew to travel the seas in search of booty. Land lubbers lackin? a twisted disposition need not apply.

Let me shiver yer minges with tales of the fearsome Droid Monster, who raises his bloody head each month, and the dreaded 2WOOFL, where the vaguest signs can be espied from the top o? the Crow?s Nest.

Get ye to the Brig, yer scurvy dogs, where Roger the Cabin Boy will see to yer needs, or apply the Cat O? Nine tails to yer britches if ye should mutter the oaths of Babydust.

Drink up me hearties, yo ho(es).

Yep I know, reaping the rewards of my big gob yet again. (not that they aren't lovely rewards) :o

You lot are terrifying. I am never telling you about WOOFLing, ever.

pocketrocket got lots of things crossed for you & hope the faint line becomes a big hefty one.

Btw; I actually quite like ovaltine but I'm really going off it now.

cinco I don't like the tesco ones for the same reason

Oh SaladDaze I'm going to be bloody chuffed for you even if you insist in swimming about in De Nile a little longer. I just KNOW this is the proper proper good news for you my duck

(Also, pliz not to tell me that you can be diffed AND have the dreaded Ovaltine. That will make my monthly 6 days of Ovaltine even MORE menkul )

FAT SNOGS AND PIRATICAL HANDSHAKES XXXXXX

Soz HB but I had the Ovaltine the day before my BFP.

Sprocks can you plz to take an early lunchbreak? And not do a wee/drink too much so you have some nice dark wee? I am now in a meeting until 1:30 (how rude) but may take laptop with Wifi so I can surreptitiously stalk you check on you.

I get my kicks from vicarious BFP's these days. You wait til I get my own...

I got a massive line (genuine wee, not biro) with a Boots - I was 2 days late mind.

rocket Please to bunk down with VAG on passenger ship sailing down De Nile?

CBD are horrible. First off you drown them in piss and they won't work and if they do work they sneer at you. :(

La la la la la la la la not listening LG! My Ovaltine is now getting progressively sludgier and darker (you needed to know that), so 'tis only a late droid and no excitements. But thanks, consider my menkul increased by 15% next month .

How are you my deario? How's work? Thinking of you muchly.

PS Cinco have you been basted yet?

Rocket, I dunno if anyone's mentioned this to you, but A LINE IS A LINE IS A LINE! Bit of ovaltine doesn't necessary equal droid-dom. I got no spotting before my BFP, but loads of people do.

Am away from internet access all avo - dunno if I can cope with waiting for the news of the 'proper' test. Although I know what the result is already

I'm going to be controversial now: I'm not saying this to be judgeypants or mean, but I honestly do not understand why, if experts say you should take folic acid and not smoke and cut down on booze, etc., when TTC and beyond, why wouldn't people do that? Is it really so hard? Okay, so I don't smoke or drink out or choice and having allergies and health probs, I'm used to restricting what I can eat and do, but why is it not a no-brainer? Is it a thing about 'no-one's going to tell me what to do, the meddling fusspots!'? I want to do everything perfectly for my baybee and I don't care if I deprive myself or have to avoid stuff I like or eat stuff I don't really like (must confess, am not the world's biggest fan of veg but am forcing it down at the mo). It's only for a short while, so why not? Okay, so it doesn't guarantee anything won't go wrong, but why shouldn't I make a few tiny sacrifices? I'm not telling other people what to do, please believe me, just wanting to put another point of view across.

And Harlem crack babies are nearly always born with a whole host of problems and disabilities, from mild to life-threatening. Daft comparison.

Sorry, am not just saying this cos I'm now pg and think I'm some sort of beatific mother figure - have always thought it and bitten my tongue. I'm v non-conformist and understand the drive to say 'fuck you, I won't do what you tell me', but I just think this is one arena where that's self-defeating. Not telling anyone they should be like me, just presenting my personal take on my own lifestyle.

I hope I don't start an argument. I'm only putting one point of view across. If peeps can say they believe in sticking 2 fingers up to medical advice, I can say I don't agree, right?

I am wiv spermz, yes Bangers. I found myself picturing you like some fair medieval maiden with a lute and green ribbons in your hair strumming away and singing your swim perm swim song and I think that's done the trick .

I am wiv less spermz than previous attempts - 13 million motile fellas compared to 30 million. So I'm taking that as lucky , along with every other thing I've done different this time to change our luck, like injecting in the other leg, parking in a different car park, helping Mr T to....erm... well you know, we had the other lovely FC nurse to administer the spermz, they went straight in no messing with my bendy cervix this time, I'm definitely ovulating today, I'm not in pain, 3 is the magic number.......and erm oh yeah it's a full moon today which means I'll be superfertile*

*Yes, I am proof. Waiting a long time for a baybee and undergoing extensive tests and fertility treatment can send you a bit cuckoo.

So now I'm feet up on the sofa (Mr T's orders) and wasn't supposed to be online to avoid the google obsessing....however I can't go 'cause I'm desperate to know what the score is with our Rockster

Oh and we need to pick our clinic for the IVF cycle so checking up on the HFEA website - apparently 6-8 weeks referral time for first appointment so we'd be looking at the new year before we went ahead. I have to say if this one doesn't work I feel strangely relieved to be having a few months off this merry go round (and fall pg all by ourselves of course).

Hurrah, KitchenCinc! I will carry on humming my merry spermy song .

Nah 'tis all right Score, you speak with the majority. I am a very careless & lazy individual by nature, and it'd be unreasonable of me to expect to suddenly become very careful and cautious and precise and biddable etc. just because of TTC: I am stil me, with a big fat streak of "Oh fuck you" to everyone and everything (mine tends to be silent and therefore all the more rigid ). But that's not to say I'm not prepared to try: took a Pregnacare this morning so I did .

scorps I sort of agree with you but on the other hand it is VERY hard to give up things like booze and fags when you are under pressure. I agree that once you are diffed then a healthy lifestyle is preferred but when you have been TTC for a vey long time then its really hard not to go FUCK it every now and then or even permanently. I did last weekend, even tho we have been TTC for ages and we have massivley cut down on booze and don't smoke anyway. Last weekend we had a bit of a blow out and I really knew we shouldn't have cos of the time it was in my cycle and TBs upcoming JIAP. But we just needed to!! I personally find booze the hardest as its been such a massive part of our social life up til now. For someone else it would be cigs or eating healthily. On the vitamins front I think if you can afford them then why not take them, they arent going to hurt are they?

cinco also long distance serenading the swimmers to swim, sperm swim. why don't you google new houses instead? get your ass on rightmove my love.

Ok it is officially lunchtime in 6 minutes, I've hardly done any work yet and am going to pop to the shops. Is only cos i need to get us something for tea, honest.....

OOooooh, our Tarty is a SpunkyPie! I have good feelings about this - from what you say, everything seems to be right in place. GO ON, SPERMZ, MEET YOUR TARGET!

Glad the basting went ok TreacleTart, threeee is the magic nummmber. Now feet up and get scoffing fresh pineapple or whatever it is that is supposed to help.

Scorps sometimes I don't take my folic acid. I know I should but I am kind of rebelling against opening that stupid yellow pot with "Mum to Be!" gleefully written on it. After taking it for nearly three years solidly (I started two months before we started TTC) I think a few days off when I really am having a tough day mentally is really not going to make much difference. If I think there's any chance I could be pg I do take it (such as when doing treatments and so on). Living like a monk every day is just not doable to stay sane when long term TTC for me. I don't smoke at all or drink much anymore, but wouldn't condemn someone TTC who did occasionally, especially if it's taking a while.

scorps I kind of agree with you, but at various times over the years I have given into a case of "ahfuckit" & stopped FA when I've run out & enjoyed a drink. But I've never really stopped TTC. I'm too naughty to keep up the healthy lifestyle without any reward

rocket I am shivering with excitement here. Honestly, this is a better cliff hanger than who shot JR!

aries where are you?? Pliz to POAFS.

cinc I'm going to sing the "Just keep swimming" song from Finding Nemo. I think you'll find it'll harmonise vay prettily with head

head so sorry your droid arrived. I'd had high hopes.......But I do think you're far more suited to MAD than MSDP anyhoo.

OK, no-one pliz to shout at me, or ask any questions. But can someone explain EXACTLY what you mean by "ovaltine". Obviously I have a clue, but I've never done spotting before, just nothing then full droid. So I uh, appear to need to know about spotting & ovaltine. Ta muchly.

Also, I do think we have to be very careful to avoid anything erring towards notions of being 'good enough' to conceive or 'deserving' a baby. I don't deserve a baby less than someone who doesn't smoke. Someone who doesn't eat home-cooked food full of fruit & veg doesn't deserve a baby less than me.

Oooo Oooo Loz I can tell you about that!

What I think of ovaltine is a kind of thick discharge stained a pale (or even slightly dark) brown. I get a lot of that spotting, plus also thick pink-stained discharge, for 5 or 6 days before the droid fuly kicks in, and sometimes mid-cycle. I myself would call 'spotting' anything that doesn't quite make it to the gusset, but would show up on a wipe, or something that just makes the gusset but is literally a 'spot' of stuff.

Apparently lots of people get 5 or 6 days of spotting, esp. Ovaltine kind, when they are diffed, at about the time the droid would normally show. This is why I find the droid tough to take because for almost a week there's a good chance I could be duffed, but I never know whether to sigh cheerfully and say 'next month' or squeal and say, 'Ooooo, am duffed!' .

And you're right, I am a VERY autumny person. MAD for me it should be

Rocket, since I lost my job in July and baby-winning was seeming more and more unlikely (HA!), I comfort-ate. Not over-eating, just eating like it was bloody Xmas or summat (ie all treats and rich stuff) and have put on about a stone - and I wasn't exactly a size 8 before then. So I understand how hard it is NOT to rely on whatever a person's comfort is, be it food, booze, etc. Many people would say that being overweight was worse for getting pg than going on a bender before it happens. I was mainly questioning an attitude of choosing cutting-off-nose-to-spite-face rebellion, not being infallible and giving in to what makes us feel better, even if we know it's not good for us - cos we all do that. None of us are perfect or can be perfect; we can only do our best even though we'll fail now and then (which is what I was trying to suggest).

Here here Bangers. The first lesson of TTC is that it is a totally unfair and arbitrary system of who gets a baby and who doesn't. All we can do is try our best I suppose and do what we are comfortable with (and try not to smoke crack while pregnant).

Good luck Tartypants. Fingers crossed that Wayne and Waynetta know what they're doing.

I think that giving up stuff for TTC is a bit of a can o'worms, frankly. I swung wildly between My Body is a Temple and fuckit, I need a fag and a large glass of something. And yes, needing a crutch to get through tough emotional times is not the sign of a very together human, but none of us are utterly together all the time.

Deffo with Edie on the "deserving" or "not deserving" of a baybee. Not how it works.

I thought I'd be much kinder to my body with a baybee inside it than I'm actually being. I've remembered the sweet FA mostly, but definitely had a couple of days where I forgot. I haven't entirely given up caffeine because I can't currently do my job without it. I've had the occasional glass of something nice because hey, it tastes nice and I enjoy it. And a couple of nights ago I was so tired that I had toast and an apple for tea and went to bed.

Also - and I didn't realise this before - pregnancy lasts a fuck of a long time and parties are WAY duller when you have to leave because all your friends are drunk and singing power ballads and your back hurts and you can't stand up any longer and you'd give anything to be one of the drunk power ballads people (bitter).

But Scorps I am perfect how could you forget?

Never had it before but then I've never been rummaging round up there at droid time before. Not enough to make it to the pants tho so might be normal for me and I just haven't spotted it before (scuse pun)

HB, I didn't say anything about people 'deserving' a baby or being 'good enough'. You should know me better than that to think I'd ever think like that. I just meant, as I wrote above to Rocket, that I don't understand wanting to deliberately say bollocks to sensible advice just for the sake of not liking being told what to do (or whatever the reason is). I don't do everything right and have forgotten to tale folic acid or other supplements (or couldn't be arsed), I just meant that my view is we should try to do stuff right as best we can. Nature doesn't decide who's more worthy, etc., so, to me, that's another incentive to do things to the best of my ability (with plenty of fails along the way), as no-one else is covering my back.

Oh gracious Score, I didn't mean to imply you actually think that!

Sorry, pressed 'post' too early. I'm just wary of lines of thought tending that way, if you see worra mean.