Avast Behind! Full of salty seamen and buxom lasses, the Gin Palais is heading off in search of Pirate Booty! For those brave BESHly wenches in their 30’s, TTC since the Black Death.

[BarbiesBeaver]

Ahoy Gin Hags, behold the Hendrick?s Palais, the finest sea goin? vessel that ever left these God forsaken shores. Packed with comely wenches and salty seamen, I be lookin? for a BESHly crew to travel the seas in search of booty. Land lubbers lackin? a twisted disposition need not apply.

Let me shiver yer minges with tales of the fearsome Droid Monster, who raises his bloody head each month, and the dreaded 2WOOFL, where the vaguest signs can be espied from the top o? the Crow?s Nest.

Get ye to the Brig, yer scurvy dogs, where Roger the Cabin Boy will see to yer needs, or apply the Cat O? Nine tails to yer britches if ye should mutter the oaths of Babydust.

Drink up me hearties, yo ho(es).

I don't know about VAT - good question. I'm hoping it's inclusive.

BB, I have an AC crush BagofHolly, who has recently been giving some great evidence-based advice on the conception board. She had 2 successful cycles at ARGC, and really knows her stuff about IVF/ISCI in general (I'm sure lots of people do but I have been impressed with her recently). You could private msg her?

here aries drink this hot toddy while I stroke your fevered brow (and back, and bottom, ahem) Now HTFU or walk the plank.

lyra i have heard a few good things about CARE i think, at least they have an impressive website at any rate (which of course means they MUST be good) I am also glad the immense incompetence of your PCT might turn out to your advantage.

Re. extortionate cost of IVF: Mr Shoes recently broke a molar and has had all manner of faffing culminating in need for dental implant thingy. Total cost? About 3.5k. For one sodding tooth. IVF seems to be fairly good value in comparison (if one is comparing absurdly overpriced expensive medical services).

Needless to say he may just have to live with the gap.

Aries I recommend lemon juice, whisky and honey plus hot water. Drink in bed then fall asleep. Tis lovely.

Lyra that is ace news; am expecting money-saving FC-instadiff before you need to actually go to the clinic, obviously.

shoes hot toddy = lemon juice, honey, whiskey (or rum). so there rie 2 ESHes say so, must be TRUFAX.

Is definitely TRUFAX. If nothing else it makes you pissed, less snottery and then you fall asleep with the pissedness. Have several, tis the way forwards.

IVF and private maternity care is expensive - but, IMO, so worth it. I balked with a couple of the PESHes went to the Portland - then I thought about it and looked at the figures and realised it really is peanuts compared to what people spend on utter gumph - e.g., cars, holidays, designer handbags, shoes, ipads, etc., etc. If I were living in in the UK I'd borrow the money if I had to - but I wouldn't go NHS. You know I've got friends who'll drop the best part of a grand on a bag or buy 200 quid a roll wallpaper... but balk at healthcare.

Teef are indeed ridiculously expensive.

aries If you die MrA will run off with your cat and his ex. :(

Well thanks for that, Alps. I feel better now. No one is having my cat, no matter what threats I make about giving her up.

It's alright, ariel , the cat would shit in her handbag, you know it.

Right lets get this straight NO ONE IS DYING ok? And know nasty bint is getting ries cat. End of.

I think I might have eaten too much today. I can feel my love handles with my elbows, this is a first.

know? KNOW? I give up, please tar and feather me and make me walk the plank for crimes against the English language.

Anyone seen the feathers?

I love you Rocket. Did you know that? I do.

I

I know work's been too busy when I've not been in here all week.... Am I too late for the roll call?

Ocarina, 31, married to TH (troublesome husband, I wasn't feeling very inspired the day I came up with that), ttc number 1 for 9 or 10 months now - how did it get to be that long? Have to wait till it's a year before the docs will think about listening to me, keep meaning to investigate needles and stuff but life keeps getting in the way. And I'm a wuss and hate needles.

Sorry to hear about your latest results Barbie, that sucks. Hope all the wise advice from round here is giving you hope.

And grrrr to the letter LadyGG. Hope you've now found something creative to do with it.

Aries this sounds like an excuse to curl up in bed with a book and a hot toddy and make MrA look after you. Hope you're better soon.

AndesMare I did some googling about private maternity care a while back on a procrastinating day and concluded it was all fine and well if you were in London, not much use elsewhere. Do such things exist outside the M25? Not that I can imagine us going for that option even if it wasn't the other end of the country, but I'm intrigued.

Agreed mouthflute it would appear my nearest IM lives over 40 miles away. Not ideal in an emergency really.

"AndesMare" HA HA HA HA HA HARRRR! Best name-creativity I've seen! (no offence Ski)

ramboy sorry to hear you are under the duvet, have this hot totty toddy to cheer your ills.

I had a molar out last year, and hadn't thought to replace it, def won't be now. (Is anyone else's writing invisible for a little bit? its not good when one is so ham fisted at the type writer.)

Moletta has just been running up and down stairs (in a safe supervised manner of course) shouting 'daddy get choclit, I need choclit'.I consider my work here is done. (disclaimer: appreciate cute stories about other people's kids not fitting here, this is more of a demonstration of my parenting fail style and will not be repeated )

insalataare you not in the big beatles city? they must have a doula of some sorts if not IM surely (musthavea doula sounds like the punchline to a joke ) they'll be ok if you decide to pop a bit suddenly?

Am sure should put this on Deli thread, but am shy, and don't know no body, but for those newly diffed who are still lurking, I have a pool which am willing to loan out if anyone requires. Just so you know.

Thats right moley (impressed with your memory!) I didn't even know what a Doula was. A quick search reveals there are plenty in Liverpool, the nearest of which teaches pre and post natal yoga, which I am vey interested in, so thanks very much for that!

Screw that Rocket If I lose my job at the end of March I'll come and live with you for a while and be your Doula. I will be bloody marvellous :)

Still trying to think of a moniker for my man like the rest of the BESHIES. Brain not working. Am terrified about weekend of concerts with my choir. Should be asleep.

rocket I think the cure is to keep eating, then your elbows will just become little dimples in your ham arms and you won't be able to feel your love-handles. Worth a shot, non?

aries I'm not one to stir, you know me, but what would happen if MrA was given the choice of saving you or the cat from a raging torrent of flood water? Just sayin' like!

Ocarina I believe at 1 year your rage dissipates in to acceptance that you will never get diffed - and then you do. It took me 361 days, cossie was approximately 355 days. I was just about on the blower to the oldies to beg for IVF money... :( One fucking year. On the other hand I suppose it helped cement our relationship - and at least I know Bear was very, very much wanted and worth the wait. [soppy git]

Ocarina Yep, it's a definite for London I think - it was very telling I thought that iggy's (and I hope she doesn't mind me saying) parents both work(ed) in the NHS but didn't want their PFB laying a baybee there. As for private care outside the M25 - I suppose any "footballer's hub" - I mean there must be facilities in the Manchester/Cheshire/Leeds environs. Also, Edinburgh? There are some real poshos there - likewise Bath/Bristol? boxer had an independent midwife and she's M4 corridor. I think reggie poked around with some private people when the NHS were being "rude" about her weight, she's Oxford.

aries I wouldn't mock the "Andes" bit. If there were a plane crash you'd be the first to be eaten. Nice & lean. Cruncy. Nom nom.

starnose Awww, they won't bite and there is much excitement as one of them is laying a baybee as I type! (Was induced 4pm friday). There's lots of sharing goes on over there, books, kits, birthing pools, etc. Husbands.

We have an IM near us in Warwickshire too - not sure what I would do if diffed again given what a shit time I had with community midwifes for my home birth that ended in transfer to hospital.

Hope Rie feeling better today.

Morning all, hope you're feeling better aries? Can I recomend a hot-as-you-can bear lover curry? Will make you feel so much better and cos you will be a bit whiffy after it no one else will catch it

Had horrible shock this morning when spotted long white hair sprouting out of chin. After soothing cup of tea and fag I put my glasses on and realised it belonged to kitten and was not organic to my face. I am understandbly still shaken!

Am off to pick sloe berries for christmas gin in the hope that planning drinking in advance will encourage diffdness. Will bring a crate or two aboard when it's ready.

I had an IM last time. She was about 25 miles away from me; there were nearer ones but she was the one I felt safest with.

Most of them say they'll travel up to an hour from their homes. Especially for a first labour, you're likely to have time to waste in the early stages so it's fine. Even emergencies are generally not screaming blue light events - I ended up with an emergency transfer in by ambulance, but it was fine; the ambulance was called and arrived in about 10 mins I think, then it took about 20 mins to get to hospital.

Distance to hospital would be the only reason I'd caution against a homebirth - just in case you do need to transfer in; if you live miles and miles off the beaten track then I personally would be wary but otherwise it's fine and the distance of your IM to you isn't necc a big problem - they'll tell you how far they're happy to travel.

Anyway. This is a weird conversation to have in the palace but you did all start it