Avast Behind! Full of salty seamen and buxom lasses, the Gin Palais is heading off in search of Pirate Booty! For those brave BESHly wenches in their 30’s, TTC since the Black Death.

[BarbiesBeaver]

Ahoy Gin Hags, behold the Hendrick?s Palais, the finest sea goin? vessel that ever left these God forsaken shores. Packed with comely wenches and salty seamen, I be lookin? for a BESHly crew to travel the seas in search of booty. Land lubbers lackin? a twisted disposition need not apply.

Let me shiver yer minges with tales of the fearsome Droid Monster, who raises his bloody head each month, and the dreaded 2WOOFL, where the vaguest signs can be espied from the top o? the Crow?s Nest.

Get ye to the Brig, yer scurvy dogs, where Roger the Cabin Boy will see to yer needs, or apply the Cat O? Nine tails to yer britches if ye should mutter the oaths of Babydust.

Drink up me hearties, yo ho(es).

London pigeons are worth steering clear of I reckon.
Wimbledon Common pigeons are okay for sacrifice...

Cat we fed was not fat - so not guilty guys!!

A quick flash from me before I go to bed

Barbiessnatch am loving the Princessboobs moniker - and how spot on you are with it too!

I wish someone would steal our cat (the one that keeps pissing on everything). He eats at loads of people's houses but he keeps coming back bless him .Probably because he thinks our whole house is the litter tray.

Have nothing to say re updiffing and trying thereof because according to my chart I don't ovulate an egg until the 17th of frigging October. Pah.

I have never tried temping. Is it easy? Where do you get all the kit from?

All you need is a thermometer boobs and you can get one from ebay for a fiver. Mine does have an annoying beep tho, drives TB nuts.

OPKs can be handy too if you want to be doubly sure, again ebay or you can have my left overs if Lyra doesnt want them? And they satisfy the POAS urge.

right I'm off to bed now.

ps- don't be mean to Tim. He's sweet (although i suppose i don't have to put up with his wee)

I'm not mean to him, honest. I just want him to live down the road with the nice man who lives on his own, who loves him and feeds him, and then he can come back and visit us sometimes (with no urination) :)

Cheers my lusciousleaf for the advice will look on the bay of e for aforementioned stuff.

I purchased a thermometer at lunchtime from Boots as I am to impatient to wait for an ebay one so can add a whole new level of mental to my life now. I tried to explain temping to TGB but he was quite confused and asked if we have teh sechs tonight could you get pregnant? Droid is still not fully there but some spotting and he knows this so I have quite some way to go in my explaining I think!

Night night BESHial ones

Truff just make sure it is a Basal Body Temperature one and not just a normal fever one as you need the accuracy. Hope it works for you!

My temps have shot up this morning - so could have ovved even though got not a sniff of a positive opk. Or maybe just a wobble and will go down again tomorrow.

Morning BESHlets.

Things in life that are certain:

1. Death
2. Taxes
3. Fucking beeping rusty metal fucker.

But really, arriving earlier than scheduled, that's just not on. I can't even be arsed to find the Pit, I shall sit here on the desk and get trollied on rum instead.

Truffs I still think a chart is the way forwards. Men are very visual creatures.

Boo your cat sounds a bit evil. Perhaps the steal-feeding nice man down the road is actually training him to piss all over your house?

Don't bother with the pit - it's been over-used of late anyway. Would you like some Cap'n Jack to go with your rum?

I'm also wondering whether Neneh Cherry should've sung "taxes, death and droid - this I know"?

Can I fuel your menkul with the suggestion of implantation bleeding?

Naw; I had something ovaltiney that might have been that about 3 days ago and started menkulling then, but this is definitely the beeping fucker. You know how it is; cycles are all regular until you start TTC. Then they go batshit insane. At least it's saved me wasting money on peesticks although as previously acknowledged, I do like my peesticks, oh yes.

Can Cap'n Jack mix cuba libres? I bet he can. He can certainly well make himself useful then.

Certainly well? GrammarFail. The Shame.

Sorry. I officially have Nothing To Say!

Hawkeye - pants to the droid. Tis all shit. I showed my cycle list to needles lady on Mon from the past year and she confirmed my suspicions that all is not quite right. Pants! TTFC with irregular cycles is too darned hard.

Truffles welcome to the charting menkal. I loves it I do. Gives me yet more things to obsess over, and panders to my need for control Oh yes, and get yourself onto fertility friend

Only thing to report here is that forms have now gone to FC, so will phone tomorrow or Fri to get first appt booked in. I also discovered EWCM yesterday - on day 7. WTF!! I hardly ever get pant snot at the best of times, but the earliest I ever OV is CD18, so not entirely sure what the monkey is going on.

Aw, WIIMT that is shit - hopefully the needling will help make things less WTF and more regular.

Have you been quaffing grapefruit juice? Apparently this results in epic quantities of pant snot*. On the other hand perhaps this is going to be a particularly excellent cycle for you (fingers crossed)

*And there's another yet another alarming sentence I never dreamed I would type.

Yes, I have been drinking grapefuit juice, and taking EPO to try and generate some more of the lovely stuff. Have been doing this for a few months though and had no effects before. Not sure why, all of sudden, it should work. Ah the wonders of mother nature.

Cinco have sent a friend request on FB. I hope you don't think I'm stalking you though

BTW: does anyone know anything about the effects of antibiotics on sperm? Mr O has felt crap for weeks now, we think he has a slight chest infection that he can't shake. He's asthmatic too so which I don't think helps. He's seeing the GP tomorrow but Dr Google reckons antibiotics are a no go for healthy sperm.

The grapefruit thing is nonsense. NONSENSE I tell you. I tried it, along with Starflower oil and omega 3 and didn't notice one iota of difference. Bah!

B'ah to the droid Owlie. It's a wrong un but at least it didn't fuck with your head for a week or so before showing it's nasty little face.

I'm booked into the needle woman next week. Seems jolly expensive - £60 p'ah - but as it appears TTC is my new hobby maybe that's ok. And it's for a whole hour and a half so I expect that includes letting me talk about the mc and my feelings and stuff and blarting hot, snotty tears all over her maternal buzzwams.

My grapefruit juice consumption been a bit hit and miss - am sure one glass every few days won't make any difference at all. Have been taking Evening Primrose oil too.

Orca what did needles woman reckon abaht your hormones? Since your cyces are v like mine am v interested.

Also what effect does red wine have on pant snot? Have been drinking loads of that lately

Also, where is my little Scorpulatte - not seen her for a while and wondering if the small Scorpy-one is doing good. And also the other differs too. Although Laurie sounds ok.

LGG she didn't say much about my hormones TBH. She used to be a midwife, then a health visitor, and now is a Zita West (hallowed be her name) acupuncturist. So she has a medical background to fall back on so I do kind of trust her to know what she's talking about. Her eyebrows raised when I said my cycles range from 33 to 49 days. Over two weeks difference she thought was a lot and said something about it showing my body was not always happy to OV. I've also had two recent cycles that have had 20 something day luteal phases which she did the eyebrow thing to as well.

She just said she'd take the list away and study it in more detail. On Mon she worked on 'warming' my abdominal area and encouraging blood flow to get things moving. I'd be interested to hear what your lady says. Between us we should be able to come up with some master plan!

Cheers Orcs. Mine vary (in past 6 months) between 28 and 40, not sure on luteal as not had enough charts to compare. Will let you know what she says. She is Zita West trained too (not sure how Zita gets any work done training gazillions of other needlers!)

Good luck with the needling LadyGeeGee and WhenIsItMyTum. I love the moxi (when they put the warming incense on the needles and burn it) over the wombular area.

Um, looks like TTC is a full stop here for a while at least. My nurse from the FC rung today to say my AMH (egg reserve) results are very low (2) and they won't even be able to do IVF with those levels. They have recommnded DHEA supplements for four months to see if it helps, but looks like private IVF or donor eggs may be our only chance. I've gone home from work as I'm so upset, so any studies any of you know about or find with successes of DHEA or low AMH results would be most welcomed by Mrs Beaver and very upset Mr Beaver. WE're not giving up yet.

Oh BB :( :( :( Am so gutted for you. Please don't give up, not yet.

I'm so sorry to hear that BB. What a kick in the teeth. I'm afraid I know nothing about these but will definitely let you know if I come across anything.

You and Mr Beaver look after each other and really hoping that the DHEA supplements work for you. Too right don't give up - you will find a way to that Deli.

Huge hugs.

Oh Barbie - I know nothing about DHEA or low AMH and IVF outcomes I'm sorry. The best I can offer is a rather large squeeze and a gin and tonic. I'm upset for you my lovely, I do feel like there is much crapness and the world can be unjust at times.

HOWEVER, as you say, all is not lost. There's the DHEA to start with so keep focused and let's hope that works for you. Hope Mr Beaver looks after you this afternoon.

Orchid xx

So so very sorry to hear your news BB :( Take time for you and Mr B to come to terms but it really doesn't sound like it's the end. I hope this doesn't sound flippant - I've just a done a quick search and there seem to be plenty of stories of IVF success with low AMH.

It's so bastardly unfair.

Hair strokes and snuggles.

ps I loves you too xxx

When Pant snot may mean you're ovulating early which could have been bought on by needles? Remember reading somewhere that the needles can bring on spontaneous ovulation. Trufax.

:( at bastard droid twittwoo. How's the rum?