Avast Behind! Full of salty seamen and buxom lasses, the Gin Palais is heading off in search of Pirate Booty! For those brave BESHly wenches in their 30’s, TTC since the Black Death.

[BarbiesBeaver]

Ahoy Gin Hags, behold the Hendrick?s Palais, the finest sea goin? vessel that ever left these God forsaken shores. Packed with comely wenches and salty seamen, I be lookin? for a BESHly crew to travel the seas in search of booty. Land lubbers lackin? a twisted disposition need not apply.

Let me shiver yer minges with tales of the fearsome Droid Monster, who raises his bloody head each month, and the dreaded 2WOOFL, where the vaguest signs can be espied from the top o? the Crow?s Nest.

Get ye to the Brig, yer scurvy dogs, where Roger the Cabin Boy will see to yer needs, or apply the Cat O? Nine tails to yer britches if ye should mutter the oaths of Babydust.

Drink up me hearties, yo ho(es).

X-posts lusciousleaf and Ha!

Thanks for the slapping support my BESHies and apologies for sounding like a selfish cow in previous post. Am genuinely happy for the newly preggers friend, was just wallowing for a bit.

Agree re other threads, some serious cases of 'know it all' itis around.

Tomorrow I'm determined to drag myself from the pit and get ready for another cycle. Just feeling frustrated that when I thought I'd got my head round it, fucking bastard droid pins a new one on me. Right, am off for SatC re run marathon until my eyes are drooping so I can sleep through the snores ringing out from the bedroom!

TB just tried to read some of this over my shoulder and said "WTF is that written in code?" :o

Truffkin A good wallow is allowed. I pinned all my hatred on Charlotte Church a couple of years ago because she won a baybee at the same time as me and then I MCd. Have forgiven her now though.

Congrats lozza sooooooooooooooooooooo made up for you

Honest to goodness the Power of BESH - cossie and fanny meet for a pint of absinthe and BANG! An updiff! We still got it ladies - and just so you know, some PESHies are organising a meet-up so best stock up on piss-stix everyone

While we're talking freebies:

I haz this book , which I think was originally Drom's , and has been through various BESHes and came to me via Scorps. So it is obviously lucky. I didn't even read it in the end, got diffrulated shortly after receiving it.

First one wants it haz it.

(oops - unless Drom wants it back, of course?)

If it's any help I famously whilst resident of the PESH Deli ate a raw prawn sandwich. I had the most awful pregnancy brain the entire time and my brain was totally out to lunch (badoom tish). I made a beautiful prawn sarnie and remember thinking the prawns tasted a bit "funny" - I was halfway through before I realised they were actually raw... We didn't even get the shits! I fed the remainder to the dogs and figured if they ate it, it was good. If they'd turned their noses up I'd have been worried!

We have done so well here in the Palace with our own statistics. We have BESHes who've conceived after 3 years (I can think of 3 off the top of my head) - we've had wins wit "poor sperm". In fact... the more one looks at the statistics the more noticeable it is that us wimmins are fine plumbing-wise and it's the shoddy manfat that's being dished out - yet do the men torture themselves, buy books from Amazon or wake themselves daily to stick a thermometer up the japs eye? No, they do not. Wimmins, I call thee - this is a rally! Stop riding your man - lez yourselves up, that's right - rub your beetle bonnet against another lady's - it'll be just as effective as bouncing up and down on our jaffa-men. Oh dear, I appear to have gone off on a personal crusade... What I meant was - we've done brilliantly here in the Palace and everyone will win
their baybee.

Lyra It's your turn to fuck for duty. Nobody is expecting you to enjoy the experience - in fact, a snitty remark will pass as foreplay. Needs must et al. Make sure he knows that if he doesn't fertilise you, you'll be looking around for a younger, fitter, feistier model. No pressure.

Hello Boo. Nice to meet you...another friend of Rockyrocket. Popular lady . Hmm wonder if I could stalk find you on FB. I was going to say how on earth could anyone eat a raw prawn...then read further and saw Ski's story. Ski you iz a double hard bastard, I bow to your food risk hungriness. I won't even eat something past midnight after it's use by date .

How are the newly diffed PESH three this (fucking miserable, grey and too fucking dark TBH) fine morning? Is the water lovely over in PESHland? I've taken up residence in the shed down the garden where I may be partaking in some iilicit according to hallowed zita smoking and drinking quiet meditative comtemplation and positive thinking.

Pliz to give me some violence (of the eroti kind if you can muster it please ) as have been WOOFling like a women possessed since 2 DPIUI FFS. Despite promising myself I was going to be serene and calm and zen. I am not.

Needles not til Friday either. Still 10 days to go. OMFG.

Not been on all weekend. Lozza I'm so, so pleased for you my dear. It's so very exciting.

Hope all of the Fecund Three are feeling fragrant and blooming this morning.

Felt a little bit sad yesterday as was meant to be my booking in appt with midwife. Oh well, did some SWIing instead although Highly expensive OPK says "no". You never know, eh. I did find a blob of the stretchy after a rummage so maybe I'll lay in next couple of days and will be ok (MrG now away for the week, God damn it. how am I meant to get updiffed when he is in Leeds?!!!).

lyra glad to be of inspiration! Give that man of yours a seeing to of the likes he's never experienced.

Oddly, the only thing I did different this time was a 6 week course of reflexology I'd like to say I also fed the boyf pumpkin seeds, but he's now confessed to eating about 5 as its "like eating cardboard".

Is it wrong that I couldn't face my banana this morning, but no problem eating a slab of chocolate cake before 9am . Some things never change...........

Reflexology, Loz. Is that when they can tell you have a tummy ache because of a patch or hard skin near your big toe or something? Is it relaxing? Shall I do it? Is it expensive? I can't make decisions as I have had to take too many lately. Someone needs to tell me what to do to guarantee a diff. Do I need to get myself to a FC and be 37/38 before I can win?

Yep, that's the one rie I found it relaxing, I love my feet being tickled / massaged. I spent £220 for 6 sessions. However, this was prolly the most expensive place I could find in my town! This place was recommended to me as others have had diff successes. But I have seen 6 treatments for £160. Just depends.

FC appointments & being old birds 37 / 38 years old seems to be the way to go.

:( at feeling :( LadyGG. Must be hard when you've had all dates worked out. Fingers and toes crossed that MrLGG's spermz have stamina and will last til your egg pops....I think I read somewhere you've more chance of a girl if sperm are a bit older? Probably bollocks but you've definitely got chance of a baby.

LL Now is the time for chocolate cake for breakfast with no guilt whatsoever....enjoy

Rie Go and book yourself a session of reflexology. Ok, there's you told

I'm supposed to be painting our stairs walls following re-plastering so that we can get house on the market. It's nearly lunchtime and all I've managed to do is put some scraggy painting clothes on. Oops.

Maybe the mass diffment goes in age groups as we've just had the 37/38's three. Who else is 34? Fancy making it our turn next?

I have a Thing about feet. Not in a secsy way or owt, just that I too love them being fiddled with, especially round my heel. Unfortunately my heels are about the most revolting part of my anatomy. So when I climb on to the sofa, dump my feet into his lap and remove my socks, and he gives a weary sigh and commences his stroky thing, I know that indeed This Is Love.

Love Is...your partner indulging your revolting feet.
Love is...hearing him fart noisily into the toilet pan and not wanting to dump him immediately.
Love is...him going to Tesco's for ibuprofen at 2am because of a particularly painful droid.
Love is...not throwing away his nose-offending deck shoes which smell of ancient Stilton and bacteria
Love is...not being offended when he smothers a perfectly good and lovingly prepared roast in Branston's pickle.

Et cetera.

Clearly I'm feeling soppy today. I'm sure it won't last long. Where's ma bitch Bangers?

Boo welcome to the lovely Palais Good to see a forward young thing coming aboard

Cinco have emailed Come and distract yourself on here, time goes so slowly when you're WOOFLing.

Aries I had reflexology for a while, but clearly am not diffed! Have now moved onto needles - have got my second session ce soir.

Operation plan B is in full swing here. I got the forms through for the FC on Friday. Have duely filled them in and am sending them back today. There is a 10 week wait for appts so I reckon if I tee it all up now that takes us past the year mark of TTFC and by-passes needing to beg the GP for a referral. I'm hoping for a diff before then as the prices are quite .

No! It's my turn next! I'm 35 Don't know how old Lyra is though. Lyra?

Anyway, as has been "discussed" recently, talk of turns is silly

I agree there has been rather a lot of talk of 'turns' and 'deserving'. Made me feel really crap what with still not managing the magical diffment. Was just following on from previous comments. No offence intended to anyone.

Will check email shortly Whenizzit. Really must get on with some painting.

Cinco happy painting. Am sure it will look fab when you're done. You can 'reward' yourself with a cuppa and more MN when you're done

Cincs course you didn't cause offence. I was trying to be funny, ill-advisedly!

disclaimer

I may be a leeeetle bit hormonal and therefore sensitive (double dose of progesterone, just rosie) at the moment so pliz to ignore any flouncing. Technically rie you did have a comedy grin after it so I should've known

Having started painting I notice we have no paint brushes left in the house. Bugger it. I'm having to go to the blardy shops. Can't be bothered changing and am wearing Mr T's DIY jeans (secretly v pleased they are way too big despite putting on tons of weight (FC drugs not cake, yep they do that too, I have the belly of a at least a 4 if not 5 month differ)

I will get this painting done today, I promise (myself).

I'm 34 and it is most def. not my turn for AGES.

Have cunningly timed holibobs in a couple of weeks to coincide with the SWI week though so am hoping for a holiday baybee as this is only time Ancient Mr Shoes has enough energy for Teh Sechs.

Plus I have bought a wetsuit that will definitely not fit should I get updiffed. That's a sign, right?

Ariel I reckon all relaxing things are all good for TTC (except for gin, obv.) . Tis so easy for it to become Overwhelming Stressful Thing as we all know. But - branston pickle ??? That is both horrible and Wrong.

WIIMT FC appt you say? Surely another FC-FU diff is on the cards. All things are duly crossed.

Cinco FC drugs sound evil. Cake sounds much nicer.

LadyG hugs, that is all.

laurie Enjoy it whilst you can. In your current "secret state" of pregnancy you can do what you like - as soon as it becomes public knowledge every arsehole and their dog will have an opinion upon what you can shove in your gob. :(

Looks like there's a small amount of WOOFLing going on around here but all relatively tame so far. Nobody appears to be fruitcake. Hmmn Cake!

Aries I think it's very sweet that you're in love with MrA again. :) They're not always useless fucks these men. He has after all just mended my streemly spensive alarm clock (which he broke yesterday ).