Avast Behind! Full of salty seamen and buxom lasses, the Gin Palais is heading off in search of Pirate Booty! For those brave BESHly wenches in their 30’s, TTC since the Black Death.

[BarbiesBeaver]

Ahoy Gin Hags, behold the Hendrick?s Palais, the finest sea goin? vessel that ever left these God forsaken shores. Packed with comely wenches and salty seamen, I be lookin? for a BESHly crew to travel the seas in search of booty. Land lubbers lackin? a twisted disposition need not apply.

Let me shiver yer minges with tales of the fearsome Droid Monster, who raises his bloody head each month, and the dreaded 2WOOFL, where the vaguest signs can be espied from the top o? the Crow?s Nest.

Get ye to the Brig, yer scurvy dogs, where Roger the Cabin Boy will see to yer needs, or apply the Cat O? Nine tails to yer britches if ye should mutter the oaths of Babydust.

Drink up me hearties, yo ho(es).

Dear BESHes, could I just confirm that 'I have to get up to go do some work, because it is bugging me that I have to do it' is not a reasonable excuse for not having SWI at the tail end of one's life partner's fertile period (both in terms of this month and, I guess, my freaking life!) when said life partner has not had SWI at any point this cycle.

I wanted to scream 'get your sperm right back here immediately' but I didn't. I am impressed with my own self control, frankly.

Gah. Gah, Gah.

What's a girl to do?

Hurrah, hurrah for Laurie and Rocket - tis fricking marvellous news!

thanks medee did you bring salami?

salts can I gently suggest a concoction of rohipnol and viagra? Failing that, screaming you want sperm might do it.

Put it in his tea you reckon, RocketDiff? Might work I suppose

sexyRocket Don't worry about the other two - they won't track you down - they're both on here for completely different reasons, Ladymisskier (not her mn name but you know what I mean) only posts on gardening threads or something and the other one with the red hair is here asking questions about stuff she needs info on. So I wouldn't worry. I didn't tell them your nickname either.

I have missed the window of opportunity for SWI this month so there'll be no 2WOOFling for me.

Happy to lend my support and ample bosoms to anyone else on a menkul though.

Sorry I meant right hooks, not support, obviously.

rocket pliz to send my love best wishes to bess*. And keep us updated.

Right, too much mclovin going on here - who's for a dual?

Arrrr.....pokes Cap'nLozenge in the behind with machete....

Draw him a chart, salts . I share your pain. It is unbelievable how anti-shag they can be when they've spent most of their earlier years demanding it at every opportunity. I have a sneaking suspicion that absence of male libido at critical times of the month has a lot to do with the difficulties in trying to win a baybee this late in the proceedings :(

Can I just say that I am hacked off with certain people (nobody in here) on MN who seem to think it's okay to hand out 'advice' to people based on ...what? Random thoughts they have? I've just read one that has riled me particularly. Why are people such twats? Why do I have the PMT of satan this month? Why????

rocket You are allowed prawns you know!

Hello BESHial ones, am back from hen night and so very, very pleased to see your news Loz how very brilliant, sending snogs (and chinese burns to balance unBESHly outpouring of love) Has it sunk in yet?

Unfortunately my WOOFLING is over as the droid arrived in a blaze of glory this morning a week early (so this cycle was only 26 days - WTF?) and while I was totally unprepared in a hotel room with 3 other girls, one of whom announced her pregnancy yesterday (honeymoon baby, first try, mid 30s). Oh yes, I certainly know how to go the whole hog. Then TGB came back from the stag very drunk, was unable to really get my despair and is now snoring in bed, whilst I have a weep on the sofa. So sorry for mememe post, I had really only intended to congratulate Lorry but have gone on rather. Am now taking myself off to the pit for a proper mope.

Oh TrifficTruff you poor love, come here for a bit of erotiviolence.

26 days - weird, no? At least the beeping fucker didn't keep you hanging on in hope.

Shall I make you a nice pirate themed cocktail to take to The Pit with you? Or little snack?

Thanks Saltyone snacks make things feel better, trufax. After a day or so languishing in the pit, I'm hoping to crawl back out and talk to my consultant about what might be going on. Will need a little more wallowing first though. Thanks for violence too, much needed.

Poor old Trumpkin. Join the Extra Crap Droid Club (because she fucked with our heads). Catchy name for a club, non?

And have this slap about the head with a frozen halibut. Nothing but the best! I could even rustle up the rotting Billingsgate fish innards - I know I left them around here somewhere

Rie!!

Waaah I'm late in here but wanted to say a FREAKING HUGE CONGRAULATIONS to lozza That's just such fatabulous news. Hope you're enjoying your new found status as a PESH

God how sweet

Cockweasels, Truffers - that sucks excessively. Can I lower you down some freshly baked homemade bread, quince jam, limes, tonic, ice and a bottle of Plymouth?

It's CD9 in Lyra's pants. Cover me BESHES, I'm going in.

PS I'm all inspired by Loz and Leaf winning. Am going to attack this project with renewed vigour. Are there any CBFMs going spare plz? I'm too tight to fork out on one .

Await new blood BESHes

Aw truffleskin so sorry to hear that, what crappy timing not to mention a massive head fuck! bastard droid.

salts and aries for gods sake GET A ROOM, but can you leave the door open so we can all watch?

shoes the more i read other threads, the more i think the only sane people are within the palais (and deli) walls.

lyra no CBMF this end but i a rubbish intenet opks if they are anygood? Also Pollys Trad Chinese medicine book with is fascinating. Happy to pass on either or both of those to you if you want them?

sorry that last sentence made no sense what so ever, posting and watching period drama do not mix.

F-cup Salts

Honestly, I'm not so serene, but I am comforted by the fact that I can now get trashed at various parties that are upcoming.

You know my little Lollorossoexplosion, Ski is right, you can eat prawns, as long as they're cooked. Silly me nearly exposing your secret for a goddamned untruth (unless anyone would care to do it for me...?)

Anyone else watching Downton Abbey?