Having difficulties ttc#2?

[Lychees]

After chatting on another thread, I've discovered that quite a few of us are having trouble ttc#2.

It's difficult to find much support in RL; people tell you that you should be happy as you already have a DC [I really am!] and unless they've been there, they don't really understand why it's so upsetting not to be able to get pregnant again so I've created this thread so we can share and we have a place that we can rant/vent/moan/support each other......

Sorry for the unimaginitive title ... marketing is not my area of expertise !

FYI, I'm 36, DH is 38, we have DS who is just over two and a half and we have been ttc#2 for 13 months.

We have had bloods and SA on the NHS and an internal scan and AMH privately and so far, our status is unexplained sub-fertility. If I don't get my BFP this time, next month we'll be having another SA and HSG privately.

Hello everyone! I hope you are all enjoing the weekend.
I went to see the Dr again on Friday to discuss the results of my second Prolactine test adn it went from 770 to 1400
HE has referred me to the Endocrinologist now and we have to put our TTC aside until they can tell me why my levels are high adn can give me drugs to bring them down
i feel like crying!!! And I'm soooo mad wiht the Gp I saw over th epast year for not listening to me and other stuff...I feel I've been let down big time

oh well, I'll try and look forward to Xmas knowing that now thing can only get better

Hi, just returned to the board after a few days of trying in vain not to think about the situation! Thanks for asking how I am Lychees. Time is moving very slowly and I am feeling sick and tired so hard to keep my mind off it. Scan is on Wednesday so nearly there. It's a bit wierd though, as I am looking forward to what could be bad news .

Sorry about your bad news smiley chicken and hipster . Complete ignorance but couldn't the original tests have been right and the others a blip? I guess you have considered this possibility...

Glad the TTCing is enjoyable for you at the moment PandaEis - long may it last . Am too scared to have sex at the moment but actually beginning to think it might be nice (after my usual 'oh go on then, it has to be done' TTC attitude! )

Sorry to hear about the bad news, sending hugs to you both. Amazing that NHS tests both seem so inadequate.

I've been trying not to obsess over the past few days while I waited for my AF to finish. But come on here today because I've been looking at my calendar for the next month and I don't want to say this out loud.

But this MUST be my month! My ovulation day falls on my beloved grandmother's birthday (who passed away just after DS weas born and who I always planned to name a DD after) and AF is due on Christmas Eve!

I know that's stupid, but feeling really positive that it's all aligned like that, like my body was waiting for this month.

If I say that to anyone in RL, I'll feel like a nana, but I'm just bursting.

Also, got some ovulation sticks off Amazon, so I can do this properly instead of just by guesswork now.

Just asking for a bit of luck and magic!

Thanks for listening to my crazy theory!

I have a load of cheap eBay ov sticks. If anyone is interested pm me and will send them on. Dint get to grips with them but might help someone x

Didn't not dint

Fingers crossed Lillysma got my 12 week scan next week though according to my dates it should be tomorrow. Midwife said it was normal for dates to differ.

I really don't think NHS tests are inadequate. The same scientists take jobs in both. I think for one reason or another it is worse this time and I am hoping it is just a blip or at least a downwards trend that may go up again. I just can't give up! The cynic in me wondered if the private clinics make things look worse to get you to spend more money but I now realise that was a stupid thought too! I am just really scared about using ICSI if there are 0%normal forms - sounds so wrong deliberately making a baby with abnormal sperm. What do you all think about this?

Lilysma
I have everything crossed for you. I hope all goes well.

Borglady
I don't think you are mad at all. I really hope this is your month.

Baby dust for everyone

I know what you mean about the abnormal sperm, Smiley, I think that would give me pause too.

But do you know in what way they are abnormal? Is it a serious defect with the DNA they contain, something that might affect an embryo? Or are they abnormal in a way that just means they can't swim very well or something?

Sorry if I'm being intrusive here, but I don't really know about ICSI and what it involves, or how much they tell you.

I would LIKE to think they wouldn't perform a procedure that carried a risk of an abnormal embryo, the heartbreak of that would be beyond words, particularly for people who have already been through the nightmare of infertility.

Correct me if you know more!

Have done a wee bit of online reading in view of our results and apparently there is a higher risk of probs with ICSI conceived offspring especially with boys (infertility can indeed be hereditary it would appear). Having similar thoughts to yours Smiley and no chance to talk to consultant until Jan.

Good wishes to you all!

I'm waiting until January to talk it through too. We haven't been told in what way the sperm are abnormal only that ICSI would be possible. We will get a repeat test done then as well.

Wish I could just feel complete with one. I would never forgive myself if we had ICSI and the baby had something wrong with it - would feel so guilty but still can't imagine not trying. SO many people have normal babies with ICSI and a 'normal' conception can still have problems too!

Argh

Smiley and hipster - sorry you got such bad news on the sperm, etc. Glad that you are not giving up and thinking about alternative methods. I think it's important to keep having hope that one or the other no.2 will arrive.

Luce - you have really been messed around with these tests, they've wasted a year for you, have you made a complaint?

Not much happening here waiting to O - no signs at the moment. Not doing opks or temp at the moment as just need to walk away from it for a while, may even sit this month out, but then think what if this month was the month of optimum conditions?

Hello! I have browsed this thread a few times recently and wondered if I could pick your brains as I think many of you are in a similar situation. I confess to being v bamboozled by the TTC jargon used on a lot of the threads though!

We have one DS who wil be 3 next month. Now I am 38 and DH is 41 and am prepared to concede it was going to be more difficult this time round. I have always had an irregular cycle (so was shocked when it only took 4 or 5 months to concieve my DS) but my AFs seem to have gone really haywire in last 12 months which makes working out how to hit the mark difficult. I have terrible bloating and PMT at odd times of the month and I do not think I am ovulating each cycle. All adding up to some kind of hormonal imbalance I believe.

Have been to GP and have just been for the day 21 test (although it's hard to work out when that is). There are just a couple of things she told me I am fretting about.

She said because I am 38 and already have 1 child I will not get help on the NHS for assisted conception methods should I need it?

Also that she cannot prescribe Clomid via the surgery, only under the Gyn.

Also she said that the luteal phase is always 14 days - but I don't think that's right and I certainly don't think mine is - it seems to vary.

I will always count my blessings I have my DS and know there is still a long road ahead and other tests to be done but really is she talking cr@p? Any advice gratefully received thanks :)

Hi Angechica, the rules are not the same for all PCTs but I think generally, the NHS will not fund fertility treatment [IUI, IVF, ICSI] if you already have children. However, I believe that the NHS will fund further testing and fertility drug treatments [i.e. Clomid]. No GP will prescribe Clomid as it is a specialised drug and you will require some kind of monitoring if you're prescribed it.

Also, not all luteal phases [LP] are 14 days. Mine is between 14 to 19 days. Other ladies have shorter LPs.

Some of the ladies on here might know more than me so don't just take my word for it. I think the NICE guidelines website can provide more info on what your PCT offers. Again, someone might know a better website to get this info.

Hope this helps.

Good luck, hun.

Sorry if my last post seemed to be all doom and gloom . It was meant to be informative.

Hi Angechica!
I think it depends on the PCT when it comes to fertility treatment but yes, usually if you or your partner already have a child ( even if he has a child from a previous relationship and you don't)then you won't qualify for help.

When it come sto Clomid, it's a bit of a lottery...some GP will prescribe it ,others will not and will send you to see the consultant and not all of them will monitor you while you are taking it ( they don't do it where I live)

re the lutheal phase...Gp are ignorant when it comes to cycle and its different phase!! I am one of those woman with a very short lutheal phase ( 4/5 days) due to very low levels of progesteron but my gp kept denying that there was ever a problem!!

POints nope, haven't made one yet...but I'm seriously thinking about making one!! Will let Xmas pass and then will do something

thank you ladies... i will check back in a few weeks good luck to you all.

hello everyone - was hoping to see if Lilysma had updated after her scan but she hasn't - hope everything is ok...

Am pissed off. Am mostly following the Ovulation method book thingy, re mucus types - and I was at prime "slipperiness" late this afternoon, so said to dH "come on, let's get one in" (I know, the romanticism in this household is amazing ). His answer? I can't now, I've got tennis this evening! {angry]
And lo, he couldn't even get a hard-on.
It's ok, he said, we'll do it when I get back from tennis.
Not likely, says I - DS will be bound to be awake still and then you'll fall asleep.
No, no, it will be fine, you'll see.

Guess what happened!
So, hey ho, another month slips by with little chance of a baby. Getting steadily older, it's not looking good. Am so pissed off that his fucking tennis was considered more important than our prime time for ttc.

Hi everyone, thanks for your concern thumbplumbpuddingwitch! I did have the scan yesterday and all was well . I can't believe it, I had totally worked myself up for the worst outcome. I just didn't manage to post yesterday as DD came down with a fever and I was looking after her most of the night.

We saw a heartbeat and the bean and sac had grown to more or less appropriate size for my dates - something between 7 weeks 4 days and 8 weeks (I reckon I'm 8 weeks so am going with that) .

I guess some beans are just slow starters and/or the measurements early on are really not that accurate.

It was two weeks of hell, so am rather regretting the 'reassurance' scan - though I did have to have it due to a previous ectopic.

Sorry for the shitty TTC negotiations thumb - it is such a dispiriting and frustrating process . FWIW I don't think our timing was optimal this cycle - just good luck. I guess that's all it takes - one month of good luck after all those bad luck cycles. Hang on in there!

Angechica my experience has been that NHS will not fund any fertility treatment if you have a child but will fund investigations. My luteal phase seems to range from 13-15 days. Are you charting? I found that very helpful with understanding my cycle (though less so with not getting obsessive about TTC).

Anyway, I'm not out of the woods yet - only 8 weeks and all that - but am a bit more relaxed. will keep you posted about any developments but won't hang out here whingeing about my morning sickness .

But so far my experience shows it can suddenly just happen after 16 months of trying!

Thanks for all your support....

Glad to hear that everything is okay, Lilysma.

Will catch up with everyone else a bit later .

lilysma - so very pleased to hear that! Nice to have a good news story.
Thank you for your reassurance - we'll have to see if we get lucky.

Great news lily glad all is well for you.

thumb you still have tomorrow morning. I'm in a similar situation think I've completing missed my time this month.

Had a weird couple of days, yesterday I had some spotting even though it was only Day 14 an then quite a bit of ewcm since then so wasn't sure if I had O or not - did do the deed yesterday but bit p*ssed off that hadn't managed anything in the days before that as wasn't expecting to O early this month and of course it's the month where i've decided to not temp or use opks so have no idea what is happening. I have never spotted mid cycle before not sure if it is a good thing or not and if it's ovulation bleed whether you O before that or after it. If before we def messed this cycle up.

Congrats on the scan Lilysma. Fingers crossed the next 7 months are uneventful for you.

Just a quick update from me. After much soul-searching and long, emotional chats, DH and I went to see our consultant yesterday and have decided to have a go at medicated IUI in Jan. We will have been trying proper for 18 months by then and its been a hard decision to "admit failure" and seek assistance. But I don't think I can handle the devastation of AF's arrival each month much longer or all the RL pregnancy announcements. I'm realistic ... it might not work but at least I'll feel some control over the situation.

So I have my Clomid ready for when AF arrives around Xmas Eve and my first scan booked at the beginning of Jan.

Who knows?! ... Hopefully AF won't come and I'll get my natural BFP for Xmas. Hoping the same for all of us .

Glad to hear your good news lilysma!Smileychicken - we can compare consultant notes in January. Angechica - the "taking charge of your fertility" book which is where all the charting and mucus watching comes from is full of info about variable luteal phases and variable ovulation days etc (and also goes on about doctors not knowing these things).It's pretty good to use to gen up on stuff before consults. Lychees - let's hope that particular relative doesn't pay a festive visit this year, but if she does don't let her spoil your Christmas (easy said, I know) New year, new approach, new hope - certainly I have felt better since I set the assisted conception ball rolling even though news hasn't been great. Pre-christmas hugs to all [fbear]