Having difficulties ttc#2?

[Lychees]

After chatting on another thread, I've discovered that quite a few of us are having trouble ttc#2.

It's difficult to find much support in RL; people tell you that you should be happy as you already have a DC [I really am!] and unless they've been there, they don't really understand why it's so upsetting not to be able to get pregnant again so I've created this thread so we can share and we have a place that we can rant/vent/moan/support each other......

Sorry for the unimaginitive title ... marketing is not my area of expertise !

FYI, I'm 36, DH is 38, we have DS who is just over two and a half and we have been ttc#2 for 13 months.

We have had bloods and SA on the NHS and an internal scan and AMH privately and so far, our status is unexplained sub-fertility. If I don't get my BFP this time, next month we'll be having another SA and HSG privately.

grumpy your friend sounds like a real insensitive cow as well, some people just can't be happy for themselves without having to rub their happiness into other people's faces.

AF started for me today which was no surprise. Wonder if I can get a BFP before christmas, I hope I will ovulate earlier this month, but in all honesty I am just waiting it out til we get our IVF go - 6 more months to wait.

hi.. just delurking... and saying hello... and to say that still havent managed to get the illusive BFP but will be starting ivf at end of December. it will probably bankrupt us so it better bloody work... we have one more shot at natural conception but honestly dont hold out much hope that it will work.

it would be nice to have two kidlets for next christmas....

big waves to all!!

Thanks for your good wishes everyone. Well had the scan today and its not ectopic (phew) BUT no heartbeat - just a sac and pole. The midwife said its probably just too early to see a heartbeat, BUT the sac was measuring at 4 wks 5 days although it is 6 weeks since my last period. The midwife didn't seem overly concerned and just said - 'some ladies get their dates wrong' - but the thing is I chart, so I know mine are right. So it really doesn't seem like good news .

I have another scan booked in in 2 weeks' time, but am not really sure if there's any hope. I'm really worried that the bean has stopped growing and either I'm about to have a MC or have had a MMC. Does anyone know if you keep getting positive pregnancy tests with a MMC?

Not sure how I'm going to last the next two weeks...

Lots of babydust for x-mas BFPs everyone!

Lilysma, can't answer your q's but wanted to let you know that my thoughts are with you and I am wishing and hoping and keeping my fingers crossed that everything is/will be okay with bean. It's certainly reassuring that the midwife isn't concerned. And a good reason not to think the worse yet, hun.

Late, hopefully you'll get your BPF this month. We have been thinking about whether to try IUI at the end of December. My ov day is likely to coincide with our Xmas break so less work disruption but like you, I'm still hoping that it won't come to that.

lillysma dont panic yet. but just take things slowly. she could have measured wrong too. i think 2 weeks is too long bw scans. i couldnt wait that long. go back to your epu and get another one done. you can still get +ve poas with mmc cause hormones are still high so you cant 'prove' anything that way. they could takes bloods and measure that hormones increasing in bloods but i think you would have to go private for that..

lychees that was our thoughts too- re hols and time off... more relaxing. good luck... but hoping you too get bfp next cycle !...

oh and where i am lilysma you dont ned appt for epu. just rock up and be prepared to wait.

Lily my dates are a week ahead of the scan dates. I don't chart anymore but used to so know when I ovulate - give or take. But I went back when I was 9 weeks and they said 8 but all was fine. Baby had a heart beat and was growing as expected. She said she could see no reason at the moment that anything would go wrong. The way I think about it is that you have no idea when implantation happened and that must affect the way the foetus grows. Implantation has about a week window. I panicked for the same reason after my 6 week scan but as I have said the scan lady said it was normal. Don't fret.

Sorry for the ramble but I had to wait 3 weeks between scans so they could get a better idea.

Thanks everyone, obviously I am in a complete state but your reassurance helps . They said at the EPU that there was no point scanning again before 2 weeks' time, though I would have thought it would be possible to see whether there had been growth at a week. I guess they are trying to wait for when they are most likely to see a heartbeat. I could go back and wait, but given what they said I don't think they would scan me any sooner . So somehow I'm going to have to wait it out...

Sorry if monopolising with my pregnancy nightmares is insensitive given the thread topic. I don't feel like I'm anything like a graduate at the moment, but if it is hard to cope with I can take my whingeing elsewhere

lilysma i only normally lurk here so I guess i cant speak for everyone else... but i cant imagine people telling you to bugger off!! i think growth at a week is reasonable too . a week feels so much more manageable and then if you feel ok at a week, then stretch to the two weeks...

Wonder if I can join. I have been trying for no:2 for 10 months now with no joy :( I fell pregnant with my first in the first month so really not sure what I am doing wrong this time. I know 10 months isn't a long time for many as I know some women on here have been waiting for a lot longer but worried there may be a problem. Has anyone else experienced same problem - ie: got pregnant straight away with first and now waiting 2nd time around? any tips or advice appreciated. Thanks so much and good luck to everyone x

Hello again everyone. I've been lurking about whilst dealing with the MC. AF arrived a couple of days ago so feel I can come back and join you all again now.

Hi daisy I fell quickly with DD and it took me 18 months to fall with no2 whom I MC. So I have some idea of how you feel. Its really tough. I am also now 40, which doesn't help either. I don't have any tips really, except just hang on in there.

I managed to hold it together when I met up with all my mum pals whom I met when DD was wee. They are all onto no2. I am now the last one not to have DC2 on the way. Strangely enough my mate who is 5 months preg was just great, and it was a comment from another pal about me not having DD toilet trained which made me want to get the frozen fish out. FFS DD isn't 3 yet. Grrr.

Lilysma of course, you are still welcome to come on here. Hoping the two weeks fly by and you get the reassurances you need.

Welcome Daisy, I got pg with DS in second month of trying and we are on month 17 for #2. No tips to share but just to say that there are some stats somewhere that say about 80% of perfectly healthy couples will fall pregnant in the first 12 months, something like 85% in the first 18 months and 90% by two years so it's perfectly normal for these things to take some time. Some people will fall pg in the first month, so it stands to reason that to balance things out, others will take longer. DH rationalises it by saying that because we were lucky the first time, maybe to balance things out, its taking longer the second time ...

Hope you won't be with us too much longer [for all the good reasons].

Soup glad to have you back, hun. Hopefully, again, it won't be for too long for the right reasons. Grrrr ... why do Mums sometimes give fellow Mums a bad time .... isn't it hard enough being a Mum already?

Hope everyone else is doing okay?

Lilysma - I hope all goes well at the next scan for you.

I am still going; cycle has elongated slightly, no longer straightforward 26-28d, so I am going to have to be more vigilant. Am also considering going back to the GP to get my hormone levels checked again - they were fine in March/April but I'm another 8m older now and still not pg so might need to have another check done - and then might have to see about extra help. Ho hum.

soupie hi good to hear from you again and that you are ready to start ttc again.

lily sure everything will be fine at the scan, it's not long now and you will be able to relax and enjoy the pregnancy after that.

Hi to all the newbies as well. Bit down about AF again but am on CD6 already so this cycle is well underway. Never in a million years did I think when we started ttc 2 that I would still not be pregnant at this stage. Wish there was something I could do to increase my chances.

Hello again everyone.... I was on here in September then got a BFP but had a MC at seven weeks in October. We are only just up to thinking about trying again. I see there have been some successes and some in the same boat as me.... hugs to everybody, old and new. .

Ah cerealqueen - so :( to hear that. I find it's so depressing when it happens, although DH is a bit on the prosaic side with it all - his comment is "well at least it shows you can still get pg". 0/10 for sensitivity there, husband!

Hey,

Just found this thread and thought I'd say hi. Been trying four months which isn't a lot I know, but fell very easily with DS and don't understand why it's not happening again!

I live out in the sticks and don't get out much so I'm naturally obsessing too!

I'm 33, DH is 32 and DS is 2.5.

I had a BFP last month but AF arrived anyway 3 days later and it was so sad. Nothing this month and on day 3 of cycle so particularly jaded at the mo.

Just invested in some cheap internet ovulation sticks, anyone tried them? Really hoping this will be my month, trying to eat healthily, tank vitamins and be positive!

Anyway, nice to meet you all.

lilysma please, don't feel like you shouldn't post on here anymore! We are all thrilled for you and if you feel like winging,then just do it!!!
CerealqueenHi there, sorry to see you on here again!
BorgLady welcome aboard! Sorry to hear about last cycle wishing you a quick stay!

So sorry about your mc, Cereal.

Sorry AF got you Points.

Welcome BorgLady.

Hello everyone. Please can I join you. My DD is coming up to 4 and we only wanted a 2 year gap :-(

I'm so sick of people telling me to relax and it will happen, or to enjoy the one I have (I do!) or to be grateful (I am!) ..... I could have written virtually every one of these posts. It just gets me so down.

I want this so badly and at last I have found somewhere where people understand my pain.

Good luck everyone.

Hi all

Ive just had another piece of horrendous news and I wanted to share it as a warning/help to those of us trying and trying with no result. Having had no luck after a year my Gp did ovulation test an that was fine and DP got a Gp semen test and that was fine too (both in may). A couple of weeks ago I had private ovarian scan and that revealed only 10 follicles (not at all good) and last week DP had private (more detailed) semen analysis and that just came in today an is awful - not even viable for IVF. Having pretty much decided to save up for a trip to spain for egg donor that's now out the window really. We are obviously very unlucky - seems ds was a flukey miracle but what I wish more than anything is that we'd had these tests done before instead of going through the monthly trauma when it was never going to happen. Private tests cost us £220 and we see the consultant in Jan which is another £160 (just in case we have any options) and obviously in a lot of cases they reveal more fixable stuff. I'm not trying to scare people i just think it's so worth doing. Even when I told my mother all this she still said maybe if we just relaxed...but my mother really is a piece of work deserving of a shark slap at the moment.

Lychees this is really wierd. We also had semen test, hormone tests etc done and they were all ok (borderline semen analysis but ok) and then last month we had a private semen analysis done and it was dreadful (0% normal forms)so not suitable for IVF and only suitable for ICSI (but it scares me deliberatly making a baby with an abnormal sperm).

We are hoping things improve with some lifestyle changes.

And keeping everything crossed.

And praying (not even religious!)

And if all else fails we'll have to consider ICSI or donor sperm or adoption.

Aggghhhhh

Lots of love and good luck coming you way.

Hipster and Smileychicken, sorry both for the bad news you got but wishing and hoping that another "fluke" happens for you both.

Lilysma how are you doing, hun?

How is everybody else doing?

Ooh, I've just noticed the festive smilies .

evening ladies
sorry to hear about the bad SA news SC and AHC i hope things improve soon and you both get your much awaited BFPs
im on CD22 and have been TTCing like bunnies with DH since he asked a couple of weeks ago whether we could start to TTC again...i never realised we had stopped but thinking about it we have been lax on the sex front it has given us a boost o sorts and now i have ENORMOUS (.)(.)'s so it is either extra muscle tone or hormone...either way...im not complaining

loving the snow

hope everyone is doing well