Having difficulties ttc#2?

[Lychees]

After chatting on another thread, I've discovered that quite a few of us are having trouble ttc#2.

It's difficult to find much support in RL; people tell you that you should be happy as you already have a DC [I really am!] and unless they've been there, they don't really understand why it's so upsetting not to be able to get pregnant again so I've created this thread so we can share and we have a place that we can rant/vent/moan/support each other......

Sorry for the unimaginitive title ... marketing is not my area of expertise !

FYI, I'm 36, DH is 38, we have DS who is just over two and a half and we have been ttc#2 for 13 months.

We have had bloods and SA on the NHS and an internal scan and AMH privately and so far, our status is unexplained sub-fertility. If I don't get my BFP this time, next month we'll be having another SA and HSG privately.

Right first appointment with the FC nurse and it wasn't too bad. She weighed me and went through my tests. I have got to have day 2 - 4 bloods done and TH has been referred for a SA at Hammersmith. Apparently the first test was fine but second no so great so they do more in depth tests. Not sure what that means but I thought it was worth doing to see what they come up with.

We have an appointment with the consultant on 30th December but hopefully we will be able to get a cancellation once we have had the tests done.

Here I am! Went to bed early last night,was so tired!!!!!
so the Dr I saw yesterday was absolutely fantastic!!! He listen to everything I had to say,all my concernes, he looked at all my charts,explained them to me and was so sweet and calm and....I could go on and on with compliments, seriously!!! He told me that he's one of the old school Drs and he's had loads of other women go and see him after failing to get anywhere with the NHS
Apparently there's a chance that my cycles are way longer than I think they are adn that what I think is a ligh period actually is an ovulation bleed and therefore my cyles are areound the 40/45 days mark ( well not all of them). He thinks I had a chemical pregnancy one of the previous cycles and after having a looka t my blood test he said tha my GP ias a mornon!!!!LOL because my cyles are not regular, the 21 days test will never give me a real indication of what is going on and even the first blood tests I had done are meaningless because she should have sent me to have the hormones levels check several times during my cycles. Sending me just at the beginning it's pointless so " you've been poked loads of times for nothing" great....
He recommended to keep using FF and try to get to bad earlier because he doesn't think I'm getting enough GOOD sleep from looking at my charts. Also I need to keep using opks ( while the GP told me to just bin them) adn keeping track of my other fertility signs
If youa re in the same situation as me when it comes to stupig GP, if you have a little bit of money aside, I would say that going to see private Gyneacologist is defo worth it.
Now, I just need to decide on what to do. He reckons I should go for monitoring and have scan every few days to see what my ovaries are doing and confirm if I'm ovulating and how long my cycles are and if they really are long than I should be put on Clomid. Now I need to try and see if I can be referred to him by my Surgery ( ont he leaflet I have it does say that the GP can referr you). I felt so much positive and happier when I left his studio! IT really makes a difference on how you feel and see things when people actually LISTEN to you and CARE about your feelings and what you ar egoing through!!!!

Loujalou glad the appointment went ok

oh and sorry for the awful spelling!!!LOl

Louja, DH also went to Hammersmith because we're in West London. Where are you based?

Luce, glad you got somewhere with the private DR. I am also considering options ... we could do IUI with Clomid but not sure if we should carry on trying as so far there is nothing wrong with us.

We are in Herts - but Mr T our consultant works from Hammersmith.

Hi everyone please can i join your brilliant thread, have been ttc #2 for 10 months and have a gorgeous DS who is 2 but can't wait to have another!!

I know 10 months isn't as long as some of you but i'm bored bored bored with the groundhog cycle every month and the 2ww madness!

babybarrister - i was really interested to hear your comments on c sections as i had an emergency one with DS and have been wondering if that had any affects

I'm 34 (35 in 2 months ) and don't know whether to see my GP or wait till NY when it will be over 12 months, should i wait that long?

First time round i has chemical pregnancy after 3 months then conceived 4 months after that.

The other spanner in the works is DH who is 43 is noe having trouble putting up the goods each month which i think is enxiety driven as it hasn't happened yet So i feel foolish going for tests when actually we probably aren't doing the do often enough!!!!

Sorry for the typos, i was just so excited to post

Luce, so glad that seeing the doc was so successful. I've found that docs and gps and midwives are VERY VERY stuck on the old 28 days thing, which is stupid really. My old GP who put me on the metformin was really nice, but he left unfortunately and my new one seems pretty clueless. So I think I am going to ask for a referral. Going private probably isn't an option, but... we shall see.

Congrats to all you suddenly pg people! This thread must be v. fertile.

Welcome Choccie75. I think you should go an have a chat with your GP anyway and see what they say. They will ask you how long you've been trying and how often you BD though so be prepared.

How's everybody else today? I'm just waiting for my DH to replenish stocks after his SA yesterday and then we'll start trying to make our baby this month .

No incidents warranting fish-slapping although the three pg ladies at work are all starting to really show now so everywhere I look there's a baby bump.

Oh and welcome Choccie!!

Hello all, and welcolme Choocie!

Lucy glad to hear things are finally moving for you

Lychees good to hear you upbeat and ready for the off so to speak

I've just phoned the FC to make an appt for 2nd Nov - eek! It's a bit earlier than I wanted but the consultant is on holiday when I wasnted to go so took an earlier appt. It all feels a bit real now, I suppose that's what happens when you go private? We'll be just shy of a year by then so reckon we might as well go ahead and see what they have to say as we don't need to start any treatment until we're ready. It's a weight of my mind thinking that this might actually have a chance of happening some time soon - woohoo!

One of my bestest friends has just phoned to say she is having a girl in Feb (20 week scan), she already has two boys so it is brilliant news. I'm a little sad though as she has been preggers twice while we've been trying She had an MC with the first of the two.

Don't think i can face the docs just yet

hi ladies

hi to newcomers lets hope your stay here is a short one in the nicest possible way of course!!

well my AF is AWOL i was due on tuesday so 2 days late and nowt! i did a test and BFN so i doubt it is due to anything other than my body trying to slowly drive me insane that said...i have some crampy pains today so maybe today is the day ahh well.

im going to start to try and shift some weight so i can be svelte by christmas (miracles can happen) so i think TTC may be getting put on the back burner for now im bored of thinking 3 YEARS TTC and nowt to show for the pain and awful time we have had since starting TTC its been a hard time in all areas of DH and my life (work/ money/ house wise etc) things are looking up at the mo so fingers crossed that will spread out to everything

Panda, you've had a tough time of it so I can understand you wanting to get on with life and not concentrating so much on ttc. Will you still pop in from time to time? Either way ... wishing you all the best.

Was wondering, ladies, why is it that sometimes IUI and sometimes IVF is recommended? I thought IVF was only used if there is a problem with the fallopian tubes or low sperm numbers. Am I right?

lychees im still going to hang around as its nice in here

from what i can gather, IUI and IVF are often recommended if the sperm and egg have not met on their own and there seems to be no reason why. it just means that with IUI the sperm is in exactly the right place for a 'natural' conception and IVF they basically do the conception side for you if IUI has no effect. the success rate for these is quite high for unexplained infertility from what my consultant told me

Hi girls

luce your new dr sounds amazing and given you so much new info - so it looks like you are still in your 2ww and you may still have a chance this month.

I am currently seeing a private specialist initially i thought he was brilliant but the last few weeks i am beginning to get fed up with him, last time i saw him we had agreed that I could try IUI whilst waiting for our IVF this was about a month ago. I had sent him 2 emails just trying to get more info which went ignored. I then phoned the hospital (we are seeing him privately but we are getting the actual treatment on the NHS) last week to see how long the waiting list was for treatment for IUI and they told me that although I was on the list for ivf i was not on the list for IUI. So i then emailed my Dr just to see what was happening and still no response from him! He's ignored 3 emails now and we have spent the best part of £700 with him and still only have a diagnosis of unexplained fertility.

Lychees i think IUI is not really recommended for people who have unexplained infertility as it's not really doing anything different from what your body is doing so it is recommended to go straight for IVF as the chances are low. But the way I see it, it still has to be a better chance then what it is for us which seems like zero at the moment.

Anyway sorry for my little rant, on Day 14 - low on the CBFM - no creamy let alone eggwhite mucus - think it's going to be another one of those long cycles.

LOL panda my consultant told me that IUI success rate was low for people with unexplained infertility!

pointsmakeprizes yep, the Dr was amazing BUT I can't afford to have the scans with him it's £280 a scan and I would need a few for the monotoring and we can't afford that amount of money but I'm glad I went to see him because he told me things I didn't know and explained lots of stuff to me,took the time to look at my chats and tell me what he thought was happening and what I can do to have a cleare picture of the situation. I've got an poointment with one of the BIG Drs at my Surgery next week and I want to see if I can possibly be referred to the Dr I saw yesterday. It woudl be great to eb able to deal with him
From what he said I could still be in the 2WW and the light brown spotting that started on CD24 ( and I thought was the beginning of AF) and lasted till CD 27 could have been ovulation bleed. It's just a case of waiting and see what happens!!!

It just not nice that your Dr is not getting back to you. I hate it when people do that!!! Maybe it would be easier if you called him directly?

Panda I don't know anything of what you've been through but still wanted to give you a virtual hug!

thanks luce i know I should call him, but I at the back of mind I do feel like a fraud and maybe I am thinking that he thinks that too - I know that he has patients who have suffered far worse than us and who have not even had the fortune to have one child yet. I also feel guilty that we will get a free go at IVF too - which I know I shouldn't as that's the policy of my trust and nothing to do with me! We're probably way down on his list of priorities. I will get my DH to call him early next week, i can see myself not getting across all the points i want to make which is why i prefer email.

points my consultant said the chances are with IUI that if it is put in when/around Ov the sperm and egg have a better chance of meeting as roughly 60% of ejaculated matter is lost after sex as in it leaks out and has no way of getting back to the egg! i have no idea if this is right as he lost interest and waffled for 10 mins as soon as we said we couldnt afford private treatment (we are not entitiled to NHS treatment as we have DD) our problem doesnt seem to lie in the getting pregnant area but in the staying that way area so i dont know if it would be the same anyway. i see a consultant for the recurrent MCs and he has never said there is any better chances of getting/staying preg with either IVF or IUI so i dont know really

oh and thanks for the hug luce much appreciated

panda that definitely makes sense, I would like to try IUI before moving on to IVF but consultant seems to think IUI is a waste of time for us.

glad you're staying on this thread, really hoping that AF remains late and does not show up for you x

Hi Ladies, it's gone a bit quiet on here today. Hope everyone is okay.

Had a chat with DH last night and I think we are going to try for two/three more months before heading bak to the private consultant; at that point I will ask the question about IUI vs IVF as he suggested IUI to us but don't know whether he did that to try and save us some money.

The weather is horrible here. Hoping it gets a bit better at the weekend. Anyone got anything nice planned?

Am still here. Might have SFF tonight. Decisions decisions....

How are the rest of you? On one of the buses (a long time ago) we had a discussion of what was in our secret drawers. Its Friday night and I fancy a giggle....

Anyone up for sharing theirs?

hi!!! her too,just scoffed a slice of eggless chocolate cake with vanilla ice-cream
DS (aka Damien) is in bed and Dh has just arrived home and eating his cold dinner.
Don't have a secret drawer,I'm afraid....but will have a giggle at other people expenses ( evil laugh )