We're All Going To IBESHA: Last minute budget holiday fun for 30s TTC. Pack your string bikini and your oversized shades and get on board.

[Saladbomb]

Last call for flight SWI101 to Shagaluff. Sangria laced with folic acid on tape. Fake tanned Club reps will be dishing out the 2 for 1 cocktails, dressed in nothing but the most miniscule budgie smugglers. The pit will be manned by sleazy but virile Spanish waiters to provide your every need. Lets see the summer out in BESHley style, IE: starting a bar fight, drinking the place dry and falling over in a heap at the end of the night.

Scorps and Headgirl I do truely love you both. In BESHory towers I may have school girl crush on the both of youse.

Why have you both had headaches chicas? Is not good.

when does the shitness stop?

truely = truly.

I can't even be pedantic and superior any moooorrrreeeee

Ah now, I fear no-one gets to feel pedantic and superior when both Scorio and I are in the hizzouse

The pit fucking sucks, and none of you deserve to be in it.

Cass! You desert us for too long! How's tricks, old bean?

Caaaaaaaaassssssssssssssssss! How's it going? I detect you've been a bit poorly.

I'm so mizz for you, Head, Score and Salts. If there was anything I could I could do to make it better for you I would 100 times. Come here for some comedy violence and I might see fit to dole out a snog.

In my own pit... largely of vomit, and drucks. But you don't want to hear that here, tho it does mean I'd fit in nicely on Aiya Napa High Street...

Pliz to have cupcake though. Despite the fact nothing stays down I still really really want one? Pliz?

Why Cass these are magical anti-emetic cupcakes, so they are . Your poor, poor thing. I make the most almighty fuss when I even feel vaguely bilious. Truly would rather break a limb than upchuck. Are the drucks working?

Aries I was about to say that I am just being childish and petulant and shouldn't really be in the pit at all, but if I buck my ideas up I won't get a snog, will I?

Well, of a fashion yes - I am now keeping down food and liquid. But am still dizzy and nauseous from the moment my eyes open to when they close again, can't work, study or look after myself let alone my poor child, and I don't remember the last time I actually WANTED to eat anything - tho it stays down, it takes me an hour to eat a third of a portion, usually crying at the same time.

I'm a great incentive to updiff, aren't I?

Poor MrStew - I've stopped upchucking and now the cat's started

Anyone wanna snog me? I'm pretty sure I don't smell of sick anymore.......

Anyway, sorry. Will STFU now on that most ungrateful of subjects.

I'm horrified, Stewie . I had vaguely heard tell that it could get that bad, but never really believed it. I just don't know what to say really. Can I just stroke your hair?

Shit!

Come ere then Headcase. Give the Shagaluf lads some hot girl on girl action to leer at.

Oh, shush now. I should stroke yours. But you're snogging 12pt Dammit I'll have to stroke you both

Right, off to bed.

Oh, poor StewieGriffin When I've had to go to hospital in the past with the mental period pains causing me to vom non-stop, they told me it was the same thing as hyperemesis, but diff cause, so I have an inkling of how nightmarish it is. Poor, poor you. Would it cheer you up or upset you if I henceforth call you Spewpot? Don't worry about chundering here - we're having a foam party at 11pm, so it should wash everything away. In the meantime, take a seat and let me hook you up to this WKD drip... And of course you can have a snog - it'd be weird to snog someone who doesn't taste of vom on this sort of holiday

I hope your drucks work, sweet thing. Big midriff-avoiding hugs :)

HB, you appear to be of a most hardy constitution. I do sometimes worry how well you are going to handle the horrible side of pg. I always console myself that I've had so much crappy illness in my life that I'll barely notice all the bleeeurghy bits of being with diff So please hurry up and win, to prove me wrong PS I've done another one of those things you liked No, not a porny home video just for you.

PS FFs? BRRRRMMMMMRRRRMMMMMRRMMMMMRRRRMMM

Oh Cassandra that sounds rubbish. I have had sickness but yours sounds much, much worse. Poor love. Can you get some drucks from the doc? They do exist, I have heard tell of them.

Will you come and join us in the PESH deli at some point? I want to fill it with former BESHes.

Ah, glad to see you are upholding our oath, Musebot: NO BESH LEFT BEHIND.

(I heart you)

I am not giving up on the MSDP Scorps. And once it's done there's the "blimey it's cold out, better get shagging to save on heating bills - Mass Autumn Diffment".

Alright slaaaaags, just got on from a 2 day clubbing bender (aka traipsing round Our Fair Capitol City) and am knackered so going to bed early. Only manage to catch up half way but wanted to say a pertinent thing or two before my brain falls out my ear.

chinco Needles lady said that if "sperm boy" has had or has a bit of a count or motility problem then doing it more often than every other day can be counter productive as it doesn't leave enough time for sperm generation. So sounds like you are doing the right thing?

salts the way I have handled it is to tell him the week before I ov, how lucky he is that he's going to get loads of sex the following week, this primes him to know its on the cards and puts a bit of a positive spin on it. This was after having the talk about how it all works and him telling me I needed to let him know. I think we get so knowledgeable about our cycles that we forget they are pretty much clueless apart from knowing that we are bitches for a day or two then bleed immediately after, (although have to balance this with TMI) Definitely have found the before tea in the week has worked much better, I just decide I need a shower after work and then flounce around half neckid til he gets the picture :D Hope you find a strategy that works for you.

Sorry if this is all out of date crap, promise to be more up to date tomorrow evening. Here, have some tapas and cava and tequila shots as compensation.

ohh just had a pain in my wombular region, this must be implantation no? (not wind at all)

Cass so sorry to hear you having a rough time of it - hope you feel up to the moving over to Peshland soon.

Yo yo yo beyatches!

Sorry I wasn't around yesterday, I had actual work to do. Can you believe the cheek of it? However it was in a different office perched high on the Mumbles coastline, mostly trying not to watch the fabulous storms & choppy ocean. Am I the only crazy person the prefers the beach during bad weather?

Anyhoo, thanks aries I do manage lots of teh secks speshally round ov time. But its nothing to do with my bam-chica-wow ways. The boyf wants a baybee prolly more than I do. He's the one that got me drunk & weak & persuaded me to bin my lubberly pills. So its quite easy to get him into the sack at the best time. Also, being a business anal-yst he loves the chat about peak times of the month & timetable of SWI. I think he prolly even has an excel spreadsheet somewhere. So sorry, no words of advise from me.......

aries sorry for the tough conversation with your dad, listening to all ariesnephew tales. On the plus side, your parents sound like they're taking to their grandparent duties with gusto - store that aside for when you need some help......... My MIL (kinda - 1. I'm not married, 2. Its the boyf;s step mum) asked me about 6 years ago that if we have children could she babysit for a weekend. At the time I told she if I had a baybee she could keep it!

cass you poor love. Sounds tough, really tough. Come drink huge amounts of gin with me & let the room spin for that reason.

OK, I haz question about CBFM. With regular ov sticks it says to pee on them in the middle of the day & when you haven't drunk loads of water or peed for about 47 hrs beforehand. I cannot do this as I'm a good girl & drink my 2 litres of water a day, which means the time I'm not drinking I'm peeing. Do you have to do the same with CBFM?

Symptom wise I'm on CD 25/26 (depending on the great "what is day 1?" debate), still have occasional tuggy-pully ovary, still feel a bit nauseous, & also felt strangly depressed last night but too tired to cry. Personally, I think I'm just going insane.

Right, day off today - HUZZAH so painting wall in junk room study. Tis proper pissing down here so will also prolly drink lots of tea while cosying down with BESH candles lit & a trashy book.

Laters, x

As if I haven't written enought muse am v much liking the Mass Autumn Diffment (MAD). Seems very fitting.......

MAD - ha ha.

You're getting the weather we've just had lozza. I too love stormy, wave-tossed spumy ocean scenery, but not I repeat not in the summer - understand?

Keep an eye on those symptoms. I think I would be happier if you were to diff next than me. It's deffo your turn.

Oops, enough. Random "t".

As ever aries you are right. Stormy beaches in Oct = fab, stormy beaches in Aug = rubbish.

Ah thanks, x

MAD! . Surely that must be upfront on our next fred

Lozza! Thank the Spaghetti Monster you're in with an update: I have been thinking of you. I still think tuggy-pully ovaries is a good sign but I had that once it was wind. Toot toot! Re. CBFM: it encourages a morning wee, and gives a window of (I think) 3 hours each side of the time that you set it on the first day of your cycle. So if for eg. you press the little 'm' button at 8 am, it will prompt you to test your wee between 5am and 11am. So I've been doing it the moment I wake. Good strong dehydrated night-wee. It's very pleasant.

Score is very nice of you to worry about me for if WHEN I get a differ, but pliz why ? I am not a wimp innit, just never could abide being sick! I have been very lucky with me 'ealf but I have had amoebic dysentery (shitting blood anyone?!). Ooo ooo and, when I was 16, I had a middle ear infection that left me incoherent with pain for 48 hours, rocking backwards and forward, moaning and gripping the headboard of the bed, dribbling and vomiting blood from the painkillers and antibiotics they gave me. Only time I've ever seen my Dad cry - TRUFAX (we need a 'copyright Score symbol for that word!). Doctor came out on call and I remember v. clearly him putting his hand on my writhing foot and saying, "Short of being hit by a truck, this is the worst pain you will ever suffer, and I include cancer and childbirth." I have always clung onto that, but strongly suspect that halfway through labour I will grip the OM by the throat and roar, "Get fucking Dr XXXXX on the fucking phone, I want a fucking word the lying twat!" .

Anyway those are small things esp. considering what poor Cinco must've been through. I am a ruddy-cheeked heifer of a creature it's true, and realise how lucky I am...

Meanwhile it's a full week since the lamp-shattering days and I have massive swollen hurty boobs, arriving at exactly the time they arrive every single month heralding the droid. Tant pis! Time to reset the CBFM soon and see what gives.

PS Score

Ps Lozza I prefer everything in bad weather. EVERYTHING. I kind of grudgingly put up with summer so long as there's Pimms and picnics and maxi skirts. But come September I perk up like a meerkat scenting dinner. Chestnuts! Blackberrying! Fireworks! Long, long walks without getting tired! Mist! Cobwebs! Roaring grey interesting seas! Piling-up clouds! Getting in damp from the rain and putting the kettle on! Tweed! Leaf-kicking in the park! Summer can piss off as far as I'm concerned.