We're All Going To IBESHA: Last minute budget holiday fun for 30s TTC. Pack your string bikini and your oversized shades and get on board.

[Saladbomb]

Last call for flight SWI101 to Shagaluff. Sangria laced with folic acid on tape. Fake tanned Club reps will be dishing out the 2 for 1 cocktails, dressed in nothing but the most miniscule budgie smugglers. The pit will be manned by sleazy but virile Spanish waiters to provide your every need. Lets see the summer out in BESHley style, IE: starting a bar fight, drinking the place dry and falling over in a heap at the end of the night.

Too late! Just did. Oh no....they'll think I'm an idle scrounger who doesn't even have a horse!

They're all very nice though innit, horse or no horse!

Morning

Does anyone know if the CBFM works if you're already pretty clued up when you ovulate - seems like a lot of money if so? Has it surprised you by showing you ovulate at a different time to when you thought you did cause of ovary grumblings and fanjo juice? Have wondered whether should have tried this before heading into the barren-menders.

I know. I wasn't being rude honest

Anyway Head are you off to join the CBFM support thread?

Morning CincoFlan. It has suprised me by showing my fertile days being a bit earlier than I thought going by ovarian twanging and FFJ, yes. Also, peak fertiilty is BEFORE ovulation, so I was SWIing when I had the FFJ etc. when I think it would have been better to do it in the 48 hours beforehand (which is what the CBFM suggests).Read some online reviews, 'tis most interesting & encouraging!

Nah Aries, I'm sticking here whether you like it or not . Might go and have a snoop tho...

What da difference between the clever baby fail preventer and ovulation sticks?

I need someone to tell me how they work and what I've got to do before taking the plunge, or I'll get all anxious. I'm not an Aries at all really, in spirit. More like a Taurus

Aries, they are amazingly simple to use and I have no idea how anyone got the idea they're complicated. You press a little button on the day the bastard droid hoves into view, then turn it on every morning and have a peek. After a few days a little red light flashes 'cos it wants a piss-stick. You duly POAS and shove it into the little slot; it concentrates really really hard for fives minutes; reads all your hormones; then gives you either low fertility, high fertility, or peak fertility. There's usually 48 hours of peak, and a bit of high leading up to it and immediately after. The peak is (crucially) BEFORE you ovulate. Then as you near the end of your cycle, if you haven't pressed the little 'm' button to let it know that your droid has again ruined your day, it suggests you do a pregnancy test (I think), because it's been a while since you ovulated...

MTF the main difference I can see is that ov sticks have never given me the slightest sniff of a positive, and depressed the tits off me . Also it stores all your information over a number of cycles, so starts to get a very accurate picture of what the devil your body is up to.

Mountie I think the CBFM tests 2 hormones whereas ov sticks are just for LH. Not sure how that makes them better (I'm stingy and balked at the cost of CBFMs, although HB's experience of it engaging a gadget-loving man makes me wonder whether it's worth looking into).

Ocs, I could never have afforded one without selling hand-jobs in Tesco car park for a month...'tis only because I have a v. generous pal who got diffed first months of using it. She is a lurker (let's all wave! Hi PESHfriend!), and has just said that if I get diffed on this one then I have to post it off to another BESH...

One more moronic question:is the day the bastard droid hoves into view the first day of full flow rather than BESHy spotting?

Okie also issued me with helpful instructions - thanks all.

Also, if you're saying that shagging before ov is best, am I right in deducing that doing it on a medium day is best? (sorry that was the last moronic question)

Oh BTW, Head, don't get diffed before our mooted piss up. Then we both will, on the same day. If that's ok with you of course?

No, the peak fertility is the day you shag lots - it allows for the fact that you're about to OV. Is super clever! Droid is first day of full flow. And if you get full flow at, say, 2pm, then you count the first day as the following morning.

Aries, I can promise that BESHly experience teaches that the surest way to get diffed is to get wankered with me

You're on pal.

I've just gone off and read their research paper. It does look like it actually ups the odds a fair bit, particularly as with the sodding ov sticks you're relying on catching the tiny brief peak which means testing twice a day or more if mine are anything to go by.

Am liking the idea that it remembers stuff. I am shit at remembering stuff.

Pencilwoman must've been a happy moment when the lovely baybeefail preventer actually gave you the nod as opposed to the lying ov sticks.

Men do love their gadgets, oh yes. If I invest now, will that guarantee diffment this month do you think?

"Research paper"? You mean there's actual science involved? I thought it was witchcraft.

The CBFM worked for me - with my stupid cycle, I wasn't entirely sure when/ if I was ovulating. It really helped to know when, and if having the Sex is proving a pain, then at least you concentrate it when it is needed most. It doesn't prompt you to do a pregnancy test, just keeps flashing "m" till you say your period has started, or you switch it off and put it in a cupboard.

If you have a long cycle like mine, you might find the cost of sticks expensive in teh first couple of months, as it starts asking you to POAS around day 6, but you can 'fool' it by not telling it your period has started for a couple of days if you like.

Thank you .

My PESHfriend is waving frantically back!

Oooo research! That does make me feel all warm and nice.

But yes I totally agree with M'Dear - it's just SO nice knowing you're actually functioning...

Jesus, from what you've said I think we've been doing this all wrong! No wonder we've had babyfail for so long

Seriously now....I get FFJ (what's the extra F for? Oh, hang on is it fertile?) for 6 whole days every month. Regular as clockwork and we've mostly done the shag every 2 days throughout this time. Perhaps we should have been shagging more .

Will look into if this treatment is a fail. Did try the temperature taking...for all of 3 days. Found myself waking up in the early hours and then not getting back to sleep because I'd start fretting about what the problems were...not fun.

How are the BESH laydeeez today?

I'm trying out more cookie recipes for said new business. Feel like I should explain why I'm a 'welfare scrounger' (Dave's words not mine) . Steady yourselves, this may take some time and will understand if too yawn inducing to read :) Spent 11 years building a respectable career (paranoid to say what even though it's pretty common) and in 2007 got very very ill and nearly died (yep, this my top trump card when people are comparing scars and all that shizzle...and this would also out me, oh well). Made me have a massive wobble about what I should be doing with my life (feelings of well I should be doing something amazing because that's why I'm still alive...obviously and has resulted in me trying to achieve all I want to in double fast time because 'life is too short' etc. Fast forward a year later and I snap up voluntary redundancy to go on some fabulous travels with Mr T - we both swear we will never return to corporate bollocks...only to spend up all that cash and on our return getting in touch with old bosses for references find ourselves right back with our old companies . We've then spent a while planning a food business and to try and cut this long story short jacked in our jobs earlier this year to go head first into business ....only for it to be the wrong location for what we're all about so we had to close or face financial ruin! So now Mr T has a new job which he seems to be liking and I'm figuring out how to earn some money and get our artisan bakery/patisserie off the ground. I'm enrolled on a patisserie course starting next month to actually have a qualification rather than just teaching myself - dead excited Selling cookies to delis/whole food shops is one idea to get some cash rolling in in the meantime hence baking tons of cookies.

So hopefully will be a successful masterbaker v v soon rather than dole scum

And yes we've been trying for a baby whilst this has been going on. Told you I was mental.

Sorry that was an unnecessary essay- feel free to skip

I think I luffs you Cinco, and am very very at your illness, and truly amazed that you had the gall and the guts and the balls and the moxy and the courage and the elan to turn it to goodness

Now then. Artisan baking you say. DO YOU LIVE IN THAT LONDON AND IF NOT WHY NOT? Also, why do my macaroons always turn out a touch on the heavy side?

Ooh, Cinco, do you need testers for these here cookies? I think you'll find we BESHes are a very greedy discerning lot when it comes to baked goods and would be happy to assist.

Illness sounds very :(, travelling sounds excellent.

'successful masterbaker' tee-heee.....am also v sorry to hear about your brush with T'Grim Reaper, but am in awe of you turning it into a positive.

Fuck me those thingys are expensive...I reckon I can buy me a baby off of e=bay cheaper....

I just want to clarify about the whole '1st day' thing. If one spit-spat-spots for a couple of days, then gets proper droid on day 3 afternoon, with red blood (sorry ) is Day 1 actually the next day? Coz if so I've been seriously miscalculating......