We're All Going To IBESHA: Last minute budget holiday fun for 30s TTC. Pack your string bikini and your oversized shades and get on board.

[Saladbomb]

Last call for flight SWI101 to Shagaluff. Sangria laced with folic acid on tape. Fake tanned Club reps will be dishing out the 2 for 1 cocktails, dressed in nothing but the most miniscule budgie smugglers. The pit will be manned by sleazy but virile Spanish waiters to provide your every need. Lets see the summer out in BESHley style, IE: starting a bar fight, drinking the place dry and falling over in a heap at the end of the night.

WITHOUT! I'll bring my double-ender

I conclude that fingertips are muchos sensitive.

Just call me 'The Scientist' hags.

So, what's new? Where has Lady GG gone? She ok?

Twinks dear, how are you doing?

Cass doesn't a caravan count as almost camping?

Spider season is indeed upon us....found a maasssioooooooove one in my flaming cupboard
Bold as brass it was, sitting there in a bowlk, looking at me with its creepy eyes.

I am left hand typist genius, no?

is SWI 3 days before supposed ovulation too early to then 2WOOFL?

Also, does anyone have any advice about woodburners? About to get a feckin great hole knocked in chimbley in order to install one.....

Salts, have you burned off your fingertips? You could be a famous and sexy cat-burgler. Do it! And steal us all a BESHbaybee!

SWI 3 days before ov surely not too late? What with the jizz wanging about merrily for quite a while?

It most certainly is NOT like camping. How vay dare you!

I shall forgive you, you're clearly mad from your trauma, but really ..............

salty it is most definitely not too early for 2WOOFL. I have consulted Fertility Fiend and it sayeth that one should should do shaggage the three days afore that there egg appears.

Ergo; nice one. Now tell us your symptoms. I've put on my best secretary outfit and got some sexy glasses to look over the top of and everything.

Ouch @ the fingertips. I hope they didn't stop you pressing the hoover 'on' button to HOOVER THE EVIL FUCKER UP.

We appear to be having a flood

Who is? You?

ooh you ok aries? did see there was severe weather warnings dooon soooth. Don't get washed away pls m'dear.

salty lavender essential oil is v v good for burns. if thats not too hipdinger. but it needs to be applied pretty soon after burn so too late if you dont already own some

ridonckulous symptom no.312 - I feel very very bloated so obviously I amdiffed-- ate too much cake.

Oh noes ARies . For you luvva, I will stop wishing for autumn and plead for summer's return...

Yes but Salad why did you eat so much cakey goodness, hmm? WHY? Was it because you must eats lots to stave off nausea?

Nah tis cos I am greedy fat caaaaaah, HB no nausea at all apart from a few vaguely queasy days last week which I am putting down to tiredness/menkulling.

Still pouring but the whole lapping at the back door thing seems to have abated, thank goodness. I really couldn't deal with a flood at the moment. Well there's never a good time is there? Sorry - recent events in Pakistan make that sound rather tasteless.

Poor Salty - I hope your hand's ok.

Did you survive the night 12Pt? Do we need to send aid packages of finest Tanqueray and sticky buns?

Right, 2WOOFL update from you lot pliz. I POAS this morning (why? WHY?! I'm 9DPO and it's an ebay cheapie ). Negatory obviously or the whole tone of this message would be signally more chipper . See this is why I was all Spartan and stoical, refusing to have them in the house for the last 6 months: I knew I would go menkul.

Salt'n'Pepa, how is your poorly hand?

Squarial I have donned my blue Lycra Challenge Anneka catsuit (this is not a pleasing sight, tho I warn you), and I have here a small dog and a soundman called Dave, so I am ready ready READY to jump to your rescue at a moment's notice. Hope you aren't too soggy luvva.

Poorly hand is ok due to rapid application of large amounts of cold water. However I will be taking orders for BESHbaybees HB as fingertips are indeed smooth and printless....I will squeeze into rubber catsuit poste haste...

Erm, I can't start "WOOFLing just yet..aforementioned SWI intent was yesterday, ovulation is Tues/Wed. Was asking so I could see if I had to deal with the whole mid week getting jiggy with it or if I could leave it at that and still join in the menkul!!

RieRie I hope you haven't floated away in the night.....

HB how many days are we talking before you could Akchooally POAS?

Squarial I have donned my blue Lycra Challenge Anneka catsuit (this is not a pleasing sight, tho I warn you), and I have here a small dog and a soundman called Dave, so I am ready ready READY to jump to your rescue at a moment's notice. Hope you aren't too soggy luvva.

Oh look, I posted twice. Soz.

Salted I'm glad the poorly hand isn't too poorly.

Aries flood have things improved this morning?

Poll how's the mouse / smell situation? Doesn't sound good. I'd heartily recommend selling some of your stored stuff at a car boot sale! Never done it before, but dad & I took our flask of tea & set off yesterday morning (hence the 6am start) to get rid of some junk much loved but no longer used goods, & made over £100! We were delighted.

Anyhoo, full on menkal has taken hold. Pliz to skip if you're eating breakfast. As I was spending a few hours in a muddy field yesterday morning I decided I didn't want to be worrying about droid so popped in a tampon (sorry, sorry) just to be sure. Didn't really think I'd need it but.....

Came home & there was a tiny smudge of brahn on there. Was dismayed, then confuzzled. I never, NEVER do this spotting of which you speak. So, with a heavy heart I popped in another one, waiting for the full flood, & we set off to a friend's BBQ with million-and-one kids. Just what I needed.

Back home, even smaller smudge of brahn. Nothing since. Plus temp slightly increased this morning. I know its well documented that my temps are rubbish & all over the place, but the only consistent thing about them is a drop as droid approaches.

I'm CD 28 or 29. Pliz don't tell me to POAS - I know deep down I'm not diffed as I just cannot see that happening after 30+ months of trying. I'm going to allow myself to wallow in the menkal & hope for a few more days.

Also, pretty sure one of friend's from yesterday is diffed again. Just little things..................

Very memememe - sorry about that.

UCL? Bitte?

IF it is indeed about UCL than I believe a kick in da kidneys is in order.

Loubelle ahem. How long is cycle normally? Oh tis horrible isn't it sweetie you old hag?

Car boot hmm? Sounds like a plan, I have sooooo much crap to be got rid of...

Oh Lolly. Not sure whether to or at you. Where is the fingers crossed smiley when you need it?? When did you OV?

BESHbootsale!

Cass that is a most excellent idea..

I have an old lava lamp and about a zillion Lps (that's long playing records, in case any kids are lurking!!) AND some vah, vah tasteful ornament from the MotherOutLaw

I is fine. Told the boy this weekend he was going to be a Daddy - he was very happy. I'm OK so far. Bit tired, bit sore boobied, bit dizzy on standing up too fast and outrageously acute sense of smell like I've morphed into spider-man or sumfink. Also gone a bit scatty and overly emotional. Just been to Doctors for blood test and ackshurly welled up due to cute toddling baybee.

Head - the ebay cheapie's showed nothing til 14dpo with me and even then was a total squniter and they meant to be 10mi sensitive ones. Am still menkul cos been using mine up every 3 days or so just to watch them go darker. This morning was darkest yet which is a relief. Will continue in this vein unless any of the BESHies would like a free gift of crap peesticks?

I see all the talk of Robin Hood land. Don't live there but I did grow up in a town not too far away with a bent church. Lived in the next door "city" to Robin Hood ville for a while a couple of years ago. Now live in small spa town close to the geographic centre of England. This is becoming like Where am I in the Sunday Times travel section so I will shut up now before you start demanding to win an all expenses paid trip to Florence.

Oh by the way, I got diffed from a 2 days before ov shag. I reckon they could have managed a couple more days too. More chance of being a girl apparently.

Oh, and had slight indigestion following a curry last night so convinced myself baybee is hairy. Even though is only a ball of snot or something at this point.