30s TTC: Summertime, and the diffin's easy. White goods are jumping and the WOOFLing is high. MSDP in full swing.

[MountTheFairy]

The one before the BESHory Towers. Easy one for summer: I have dug up a fishing pond in the middle of the Palace, put a roof light over it, got some fishin' sticks and put some Gershwin on. Salad's providing Elderflower Fizz, served by newbs in topless bikinis. Could life be better?

I too am wondering about the colour of the dye.

Good news, Scorpaline

Dye was .......clear. It's able to be picked up with the X Ray but sadly no exciting "Grape Crush" purple colour I was hoping for. However, friends in USA have reported HSG dye is blue over there. They really know how to live those crazy Yanks!

CassI'dGiveIt10minutesIfIWereYou I'm so relieved. Thanks for the superfast update.

The OM has just given me this as an 'interim' 10th wedding anniversary gift (I'm to expect an antique Japanese woodcut in due course apparently, which makes me feel even more guilty for not having spent a penny on him yet ).

Yes, it has a book rack, an attachment for a candle, and clasps for glasses of champagne. Now that really has taken the sting out of approaching babyfail

Ps - Cass, henceforth the deed will be referred to as a Grand Opening in this house .

I will leave smutty single-entendres on 'opening' to those less pure-minded than myself.

Cheers, Rat Fans I am already planning my outfit and speech for when I win the Man Booker Prize.

HB, that gift is GORG. Sounds like he knows you v well (and should do after 6000000000 yrs).

You should really be able to choose from a wide variety of HSG dye colours, like an old-fashioned slushie. Seeing bright purple or green discharge would be an exciting way to get over the discomfort and Urk Factor RAINBOW FJ IS THE ONLY WAY FORWARD!

I have tipped over from sadness into madness. I realise it's a fine line that only I am aware of

PS Those descriptions of the HSG Experience (like the Jimi Hendrix one but with 100% less loon pants) made me howl with laughter. When I finally get round to writing this BESH Guide to Diffulage, I know who to turn to for the chapters on HSGs

Cass, I hope you got a warm hand on your entrance, etc., etc., snurk, fnarr.

I want THIS dress Pliz to buy it me please, lovely BESHies? Yes, now I have no job or cash, I am cheering myself up with looking at things I can't buy (not that I could afford a dress that costly even with my old job!)

I can't see the dress

I want slush puppy FFJ! I want slush puppy FFJ!

ooohhh..I want that dress too. Tis gorgeous.

That is indeed a fabulous dress, I shall start busking immediately for your benefit. Perhaps people will pay me to stop?

Am also really liking the bath rack thingy, I reckon you could stash large chocolate bars in the book space bit if required too.

Can I plz put in my vote for blue dye, then you can pretend you are the Queen. Too gross? Probably too gross.

I have nothing to do and nowhere to go that could justify a silk dress (anyone who suggests I am still in me nightie are liars ) I KNOW I should go to the gym but I can't be fucking arsed. Can someone beat me into it, please?

Cass you can't see the dress because you'd just spill slush puppy all over it.....

'are liars'? First day of unemployment and am already speaking like a Jeremy Kyle participant. Which I am NOT watching on ITV2, how dare you suggest such a thing?!

ScorperWoman (like wonderwoman, alright?) if you go to T'gym I will go back outside and battle with the Spidertron.

Deal?

Hahahahah..I'm not watching it to. therefore I don't know how hideous that stringy haired woman is....

gah. too not to

someone punch me, please...

Signs you spend too much time on MN #423: I just tried to italicise something in my MS using the ^^ command. TWATFINGERS.

I think people who watch Kyle should be tied up with razor-wire and flung in the canal. Any canal will do. I'm only sayin' ...

I'm not scared of spiders. It's moths that do my head in

I only watch it ironically...

I like moths

I want to write JK a stern letter for always advising youngsters to 'put something on the end of it'. Surely with rubbish advice like that he's only encouraging more teen pregnancies?

RIGHT, am going to actually wash Then go to the shop at least, if not the gym. Phew!

Or, you could write JK a stern letter for being a complete nobjockey?

I Loves moths I do. I have a little moth spotter book and tick off ones I have seen. That is true. My bestest moth was an Elephant Hawk Moth, they are beautiful (green and neon pink). Would do a pretty link to a picture but I'm at work and too lazy.

Scorps I have many, many beautiful shoes. If I am sad I put them on and walk about in them after a shower. They don't need to leave the house or actually be worn properly to cheer me up. Therefore, you need that dress to cheer you up. Plus, it would lovely with some rainbow FFJ splattered down it.

StinkiestOfAllTheWeasles if HSG was like that they would have a queue around da hospital! Dunno why they gave me arsebiscuits, but I am sure they are just placebo, as I actually read an NHS report that states painkillers make no difference . No, I am not sad, you lot watch Jeremy Kyle!

HeadBride how long have you been married for?

Just came back from dildocam. All cool. Small fibroid in da womb (yes, yes, Score still holds the trophey for the immaculate womb), but apparently insignificant. All else good. 12 follicles, which I learned today was good news. How many is normal, you ask? Well, between 6 and 20, it appears. Dildocam lady very nice. In fact, can I make her an honorary BESH? Or is this an honour you cannot bestow unknowingly on people?

Blood on the other hand was weird. The blood sucker was weird and it still hurts! Is there anything he could have manged up?

P.S. tube dye is just saline solution, right?

Nobody is talking to me so I'll just continue blabbing. Score you have every right to have a week off not getting out of your jammies and watching Jeremy Kyle!

I know right, Mountebank?! I were only a wee lass of twenty. Romantically minded and headstrong, d'you see.

Tube dye contains MAGIC DIFFING MOLECULES. Surely you knew that?!