30s TTC: Summertime, and the diffin's easy. White goods are jumping and the WOOFLing is high. MSDP in full swing.

[MountTheFairy]

The one before the BESHory Towers. Easy one for summer: I have dug up a fishing pond in the middle of the Palace, put a roof light over it, got some fishin' sticks and put some Gershwin on. Salad's providing Elderflower Fizz, served by newbs in topless bikinis. Could life be better?

yep Lyra v kindly let on just after i first joined t'other week as it was doing my head in. Was just running with the alternatives....

Blackly Emotional (and) Seriously Hormonal?
Barely Effective Sanity Hold

nah I'm reaching now...

Afternoon all.

BESHcall: Medee, 33, came off the pill last June, cycle went batshit for most of that time, the bastard 51 day cycle raising my hopes eventually. Seemed to stabilise at 38, and had just seen my GP for the next stage and was a day away from my ovaries getting scanned when I got the BFP. So I got the earliest scan of my bunch of cells known to man, and recently feeling v sicky and not eating. Still, go into panic mood whenever I feel right for an hour.

presumably you don't inherit things from your paternal aunt, but from your father - the gene being latent in him, but active in her.

Ah, that'll be it then.

Mounty when is your dildo cam booked for and did they send you for that straight after your first appointment? I am feeling a bit gyped as my appointment was sposed to be with the consultant but when I turned up I just got the registrar (and a nurse) All they did was ask me a load of questions (medical history etc) and book me another appointment and all the bloods i have already been given by the GP (apart from LH/FSH which I haven't had b4) I'm not sure if this is normal or if there is any such thing as normal. Seems like treatment is randomly varied very much depending on location and situation.

Anyhoo I am going to get off the interwebs and go and see what is left of my veges after this weeks end of the world is nigh rain (i've been putting it off cos i am scared its all been ruined)

Catch y'all later.

ps sorry for stupidly long BESHcall. wish i could pen something brief and witty like all you literary folk seem to be able to but I am too detail oriented and self absorbed for that. just apply wet fish to face at frequent intervals or shout HTFU at me. thankyoubye

Sorry Gin I know what BESH means really on account of stalking you all for nearly a year I just keep getting alternatives popping in my head.

Believe me CaesarSalad that was not "stupidly long". Oh no.

Mmm, it does sound like I am getting the swifter service, SexBomb, though I do wonder if it is TOO swift now that I am going down that route. After all, we are not trying for THAT long to send the army in. But I suppose I should be grateful. Dildocam and FSH/LH (and a bunch of other diseases) are booked for Monday.

We did get the consultant straight away. Difference in areas as you say. We were actually wondering, CH and I, whether the service is quite swift because central London just ain't all that residential? As the clinic is really not that big. But, TBH the only two tests that are different to you are the dildocam and the HSG. Otherwise, same as you, they are repeating everything GP had done. Which, btw, does seem like a huge waste of resources, doesn't it to you?

(P.S. same problem with conciseness. Is that even a word?)

P.S. Did they also send him for a repeat spunktest?

Hmm, HopOnLegolas you might be right. Where I am was looking pretty busy. (was just lovely sitting in the waiting room with loads of preggers ladies and scared looking teens, did I mention that already?) And its pretty resi round here with a large catchment (we live 10 miles away) so you could be right. I have a feeling that the consultant might have been called away for whatever reason so I got bumped down a rung. They haven't ordered another jizz test cos the result hadn't come thru yet so we didnt know the score (or lack of one :s)

They said the new bloods were so they could have the actual samples in the FC and also i think to test the other ovary is working as I spose its feasible that only one is popping em out. I am guessing I might get dildocam after the next appointment depending on results of bloods.

No that can't be right as my last lot were May so would be the same ovary. Must just be a/ and c/ because they enjoy sticking pins in people (bastards)

Stinky, stalking us for nearly a year??? SWFtastic.

Salad - I'm pretty sure ovaries don't work like that, turn and turn about - think it is more like that electronic Simon Says game - could be L, L, L, R, L, R, R, etc.

Lyra really? IDKY i always assumed they did. Showing my ignorance

Well you learn a new thing every day... I now have an image of my ovaries flashing green and red, while i try and bat at them with a large sperm in order to win a babee. I love that phrase btw, is it pure BESH or is it in general use on MN?

stonkers that is indeed impressive, i just waded right in after less than a week. Prob showed too

Took me a while to figure out my new nickname, Salad and then I burst out laughing! Good one! Maybe I'll adopt it.

Why were you with preggers and teenagers? We were with, well, now that I think of it, BESH looking people. There were two other couples, one in their 30s and one in their 40s (or even 50s). It was quite all right really. I guess ours is a dedicated infertility clinic!

Yeah, it does sound like you just lost the consultant by chance. And they will work according to the current jizz results, I guess. Our consultant just did not want to believe ours .

Do we think StinkyWeasle is an obsessed loon or excruciatingly shy?

I thought you had better things to do than hang around here LettuceExplosion!

Of course you can share genes with an Aunt, but you can't INHERIT them from her. And as my Doc told me, as I said earlier, paternal Aunts are as irrelevant as complete strangers as regards inheriting fertility issues. If your maternal Aunt had issues, that could be something she's got off your gran which could be passed onto you, but it doesn't work the same from the male line. I'm very like my paternal Aunt, with v similar colouring (hopefully not her weight; she is a size 22), tastes, interests, abilities, habits, quirks, etc., and a few other physical things BUT her infertility can't have any say on mine.

I think you've got a bit fixated that cos your Aunt couldn't get pg then that's what's happening to you cos of genetics, but I will keep assuring you: it is scientifically impossible! Fertility ishoos are passed down the same sex family line - male to male, female to female. Sex genes are different from things like Male Pattern Baldness or Cystic Fibrosis or summat.

And PS Aries, Medee is right, you can't inherit scoliosis from your Aunt. NO-ONE CAN INHERIT ANY GENES FROM AN AUNT OR UNCLE! Only from your parents and grandparents. You can share genes, but if you do, you got them from the Grandparents or further back. Aunts and Uncles are completely separate branches of the family tree in terms of heredity.

Don't make me get Ben Goldsmith and Professor Robert Winston on here to shoutily explain it to you all!

Am now going to lie down in a darkened room.

Incidentally, fertility issues also tend to be something that befall an individual and not be hereditary, otherwise no-one would ever be born in that family! Things like when you start your periods and enter menopause, some probs like PCOS or endo and what your pregnancies and births will be like, are usually hereditary on the female line, never, ever the male, but not infertility. The concept of 'hereditary infertility' is illogical, as, like I just said, if no-one can have a baby, then who is the infertility being passed to and how?!

Have I hammered it home enough yet? I am like a fucking dog with a bone when I know what I'm talking about. I will change the subject now, honestly Am not going on to prove myself right, just truly trying to get you to see that your Aunt's problems can't be passed onto you, so you can stop fretting about it

I am full of cake & goodness, and my smear came back normal. Following genetic debate with baffled interest. Finger looking remarkably good. Off for an evening of horror (new Stephen King followed by Drag Me To Hell )

I have sore boobies which is prolly PMT but I'm not sure I mind: it'll happen in time. Where there's hot sex love there's hope!

Off to check the deli for an Igg update...

Ass-pinches to all you hot babes.

Better things? Not likely. My planned weeding session got rained off HopOn. But came back with LOADS of monster courgettes marrows tho, which i think i am going to have to give away or turn into a years supply of ratatouille.

The FC clinic is in the maternity wing of the hospital so waiting room was full of The Fecund seeing their midwives, waiting for scans etc. and (i suspected) a few waiting for terminations, (lone scared looking teens) although that may have just been a small attack of menkul/overactive imagination. Cos MrB wasn't with me was a bit too occupied with people watching and imagining back stories etc. I know it'd be the same for everyone but you'd think there would be a separate waiting room so as not to rub our noses in the fertility of everyone else. IDK perhaps I'm asking too much. Again a question of hardening the fuck up....

I don't understand all this genetics malarky, being as I am a) v unscientific and b) a bear of very little brain. But I do think we all have random anxieties and knowing in our heads that we're being menkul does not acksherly prevent the emotional menkul.

Ho hum. I have been fed afternoon tea by the lovely Headbanger. Girl can bake. And is, like, talented and funny and beautiful and whatevs...

Blimey I go out of the house for 2 minutes and whne I come back is all serious in here with brains and stuff. I can remedy that v. qucik.

Good things that have happened today:

Seduced DH with a home-flung treacle tart (bakery is a form of foreplay in Bun household). Baybee-winning this month is back on the cards, hoorah!

HAve just managed to put nail polish on without effing it up royally probly for first time ever. Typing not easy now tho.

I found Prof WInston lurking outside the Palais; should I just direct him to Scorp's darkened room do you think?

Yeeeeey for the smear Hanger! So glad to hear that. Now we need to figure out what your splodges are, unless it is good ole' ovulation bleed after all.

Mmmm, sounds good LettuceSplash. Marrows I mean, not the teenagers. Yes, I think asking them to divide two groups would probably be too much, but I have to say it was kinda nice to be just with other losers wiser and older people with some difficulty to conceive. I didn't feel menkul, which I may have done had I been in your situation.

"Bear of very little brain..."

I announced to the OM yesterday: "At last! A friend I can have a proper crush on!"

I want BangerCake! Waaaaaaaah!

Yes, you do! She made madeleines and scones and almond and raspberry cake and it was all LOVELY. Nom nom nom.

It is surely v tactless to have FC in same place as maternity. Bah humbug.