30s TTC: Summertime, and the diffin's easy. White goods are jumping and the WOOFLing is high. MSDP in full swing.

[MountTheFairy]

The one before the BESHory Towers. Easy one for summer: I have dug up a fishing pond in the middle of the Palace, put a roof light over it, got some fishin' sticks and put some Gershwin on. Salad's providing Elderflower Fizz, served by newbs in topless bikinis. Could life be better?

Thanks for the hurrahs MTF - there's some leftover raspberry & almond here if you want it?

Cannot believe the speed of it - was smeared Tuesday morning and had results today. Truly I live in some sort of blessed postcode where GP matters are concerned. A big up to the NHS: can I get a witness?

Well done for the baking enticements Saffy. That's my girl. Way to a man's dick etc. etc.

1. Wow - when did you manage all of that AND when do you work on Phd??

1. How do you stay slim and beautiful with all that baking?

1. YES! Give it here!

Whoot for bangers impeccable cervix. And luscious cake. The Womb Off got me thinking that it could be a form of Fertility top trumps, add last smear test date to all other stats. Might be too demoralising for some of us tho Think i prefer the CM/ping pong ball firing vjj shoot out.

All this talk of food (not smears and vjjs fyi) is making me hungry so I'm gonna get the tea on.

MTF - "Slim & beautiful"?!?!?!? BWA-HA-HA-HA-HAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! God bless you darling. I'm a super-sweet 16 my luvva! However I choose to believe it's worth it for the buns . (They're big but they're tasty. Badum-tish.)

You can have ALL the cake for that. Indeed I shall bake you a whole new batch, so I shall.

Salad thanks for putting in my mind the image of a phalanx of BESHEs, knickers down and legs a-kimbo, firing a fusillade across the room

Going back a page: keep you hair on Scorps! I wasn't arguing merely sharing something I thought, wrongly, was interesting. I know bugger all about genetics but I am the one with the feckin spinal deformity. Share schmare inherit schminherit.

Sweet 16 myself. Gonna keep it that way with your fresh madelines (Who wrote about that?), HeadBaker. Seriously. I want them, and the almond cake. NOW!

Just realised no TTC-ing this month because of HSG. Waaah, waaah!

you your

Why no ttc because HSG, Fairycakes? won't it be done by the time TTC is go?

ooh googling HSG might not have been the best idea on a full stomach BUT:

"Although the purpose of the hysterosalpingogram is not therapeutic, sometimes forcing dye through the tube will dislodge any material which blocks it. A number of women have become pregnant following a hysterosalpingogram without further treatment."

all is surely not lost then? mtf

Yep, but they say due to the X-ray nature of it you should avoid it the whole month. Not necesserily the secs itself (though, apparently, shouldn't do that either from CD1 till 4 days after HSG), but shouldn't conceive: the egg might grow gills or turn green or sprout 8 legs or summat.

Just read on some other thread that in private clinics they do some other (hy-something) procedure which is ultrasound based. Do you reckon that's the posh stuff and we get nuked on the NHS?

I read that somewhere too Bombastic. Here's hoping for the month after!

So, the BESH-like mate of mine that had her baybee recently, was telling me that she conceived when they had no sex whatsoever (not even wanking for him) from CD1 till ovulation day. Being of a Jewish pursuasion she says this is how Orthodox Jews are thought to do (and win dozens of kids)!

BTW, forgot who asked, but I think "to win a baybee" is indeed a BESH expression, made up by wiser BESHes than me.

I wasn't x-rayed or told not to ttc, mtf. Interesting.

no doubt, mrs, dont spose one or two x-rays in our life time is gonna do anyone any harm but concerns re dividing cells make sense i spose just be super careful this month ladee. what CD is the HSG?

All the stuff I read about sperms said regular ejaculation was crucial for best sperms. But then we conceived the month we only did it once, and when we were vaguely trying not to conceive because we thort we were starting IVF drucks.

Twas me that asked, I love it. But i read that saving up sperm doesnt work as frequent ejaculation encourages healthier sperm. And that the best way to get diffed was to just do it every 3 days. you can BET it was a bloke that did that research tho eh? Hmm. contradictory advice, there's a surprise.

ExempliaryUngulent What did your HSG involve then? Was it ultrasound instead?

soz cross posted drom

Nah, bog-standard nhs dye-thru-tubes and x-ray. Is why I am confused that CanadianElf has been told not to get preggers. Was told not to BE pregnant, as could cause miscarriage, but nothing about not trying afterwards.

Perfectimondo, that's how they get the picture, innit? Maybe there is summat in the Jewish traditions Seriously, the friend was laughing about it, because she was receiving such unscientific advice, and it worked when she inadvertedly followed it. (They were apart. Why he did not wank beats me.) Saladlicious CD10 'tis. My earliest OD is on the 14th, so probably quite safe, but their leafelet says so, and I suppose why risk it. Apart from gimme baybee NOW!

That's really weird Drone, will get me leafelet laters (can't be arsed to get off the couch), but am pretty sure it says it loud and clear.

Why is everyone persisting with Canadian?

Blimey Scorps, little bit harsh up there? What Drom said, plus I'm not sure being shouted at helps the menkul either

Ocky/Aries I don't know I'm afraid, we've had lectures on genetics but I just can't bring myself to listen, bores me rigid even though it really shouldn't But I will see if one of the many anatomy textbooks I have gathering dust upstairs can shed any further light on what Scorps has said. By the time I do that though you'll all be diffed and it'll be pointless

Moving on... Thanks all for stuff re age gaps. What to do? Who farkin knows. I am on CD 22, 5DPO and I cannot shit ladies. Seriously. The food's goin in but none of it's comin out. I may implode by morning. Of course, this shorely means I am diffed. And I now feel entirely conflicted as to how I would feel about that, if I were. Ballcocks.

Another exciting day at naked school. I had previously thought my arms were too short but it turns out my boobs are too big; it is some weird illusion whereby by the time my arms have reached round my baps to get at someone they've waste about 3 inches of length

Where is Pollock ? I spent the afternoon wandering zummerzet calling her name plaintively, dog shampoo in one hand and icing bag in the other, but she was not to be found...

I am sorry I was a bit harsh. I was just trying to kill all bad-science-menkul dead, because I know all too well what it's like to fixate on summat and I do find it helpful to have someone put me straight. I was actually trying to be helpful, but I came across as a ranting headmistress As the longer-term BESHes know, my Dad has Aspergers, so I'm afraid I have learnt a very 'sledgehammer to crack a nut' approach to things. It's a shame tone of voice doesn't come across cos I was genuinely trying to come across as amused-exasperated at a friend being irrational, not just like I was telling peeps off. Am a caaaah during my droid (yeah, yeah, what's my excuse the rest of the time).

Now I'm going to go away and worry everyone's getting fed up of me because I have been a bit crap this week. Combined babyfail and jobfail have not put me in the best of moods.

I have woken up with comedy buzzwams .

Why do diffulage symptoms exactly mirror those of PMT? And where is news of Iggster? And will tonight's Sherlock Holmes on BBC1 make me go bang? And who else is 2WOOFLing?

So many questions. Answers on slices of cheesecake please

(And that tone-of-voice thing is a bummer. I fall foul of it myself now and then).

Come back here immediately Scorps and sit on my knee. Don't go away, we all heart you muchly. We know you are like a dawg with a bone when you get the bit between your teeth. How many metaphors can I mix up in one go?

Now, you can have 5 mins groping before I have to go and get on with The List. (Still to do: shower, straighten hair, thread chicken onto kebab sticks, vacuum, put up gazebo and table in garden, transfer all food to table, get bbq on.) Not much then! At least there are 3 of us now as my lufferly friend Jane arrived last night to help.

Cass you are a fibber, I was wailing for you yesterday afternoon, proper sobbing. It all got too much when I decided the castle cake does not look anything like the one in the book (I am virgo perfectionist) and I broke 2 icing bags trying pipe window shapes onto greaseproof paper. Anyways, I know you were up to elbows in dead people again, you weirdo.

Love bitchslaps and rum punch for you all, gotta go BESHes.

Sorry xpost givesgoodhead. Are they more comedy than usual? Hmmmm.... interesting.

Ohhhh, could the too-young-to-be-diffed HB and CassARoll be next in the MSDP?

I want a picture of the castle cake pliz PoleStar! You are proper yummy-mummy domestic-goddess material.

Har yes, they are a bit cartoonish best of times, but they're comedic enough for the OM to have remarked upon them this morning, unprompted. Plus every time I drink water it's immediately followed by sharp needly metally taste.

However, the buzzwams are prolly PMT (which starts about now normally) and I've had the taste before, so I'm now going to stop with the menkul. This month was a nice calm one of SFF so I don't want to ruin it by being a twat.