30s TTC: Summertime, and the diffin's easy. White goods are jumping and the WOOFLing is high. MSDP in full swing.

[MountTheFairy]

The one before the BESHory Towers. Easy one for summer: I have dug up a fishing pond in the middle of the Palace, put a roof light over it, got some fishin' sticks and put some Gershwin on. Salad's providing Elderflower Fizz, served by newbs in topless bikinis. Could life be better?

So have you newbies worked out what BESH is yet?

You have 3 hours to come up with suggestions for the meaning of BESH. Prizes may be awarded for the best suggestions, or for getting it right. Caning may be involved. Turn your papers over, you may begin writing now.

(Yeah, I know we put off BESHory towers till the new term but I couldn't resist, and anyway I know Cass is dying to bend over ready for a good caning)

At last someone's noticed! All the blood's gone to me head I've been stood here bent double for so long!

Mountie - nope finished 6 months of Clomid (they only recommend 6 months as it's not good for you) and the last month I didn't ovulate at all. Going on to injectibles now, so my meeting next week is to show me how I inject myself. Bloke is squeamish so should be good fun.

LorraLorraLoadofPoo quite often I find the clinics won't give exact figures or results of tests, just fine/ok/normal/below normal/whatever. well done on taking yourself in hand though. Oh and for booking another appointment of course.

StepUptotheOcky right - a Friday afternoon assignment, I like it. What if I deliberately try to fail to get a thrashing?

HAve just had to look up IUI and HSG on the google. Am deeply disturbed to find the latter seems to involve Pingu. Where do they insert him? That's just Wrong.

LadyGargle ishoos, definitely.

How long you been trying, Saffy ? There are often midcycle ranting sessions on here when The Appointed Time has come and our menfolk faff about doing everything BUT shag us so you're not alone in that respect...

Not said this in here before I don't think but we've been talking about adoption in this house the last few weeks as part of the whole Shall We Stop Or Keep Going debate. Anyway, rang up my LA this morning and they basically won't consider us (even assess us) for another 3 years, till ministew is in school. Feel a bit tbh as I'd started to think that was the way forward. In her words - the bigger the age gap the better - whereas I felt the exact opposite - I want ministew and any future siblings to have as small an age gap as possible (well not quite, 9 months would have been a bit much). So wth that off the agenda for the forseeable, and IVF and all that off the table too (at least on the NHS and we can't afford it privately) our options seem to be limited to give up entirely or keep on keeping on. The world is not as big as I imagined it was.

Hmm.

Stewbag That sucks. What does it matter? So what about Brangelina, hmmm? No discernable age gappery there. Are you fussed about a matching pair? Could you go abroad? I've heard of many people who adoped then got their BFP at pretty much same time. Which would be a lark.

WTF? What on earth is the logic of that, Cass? I am very for you. Remind me, luv, did MiniStew just happen eezily? Can IUI be of help (cheaper)?

A matching pair, Gagger? What does that mean??

I am wondering if, because we live in a very white, affluent, Home Counties type area, perhaps our LA can afford to be more picky. A quick cruise of the adoption boards on here seems to show that other people are not having those rules applied to them... so am trying to think of nearby more deprived areas but still with a reasonably high white population, who might be more keen on us. Or there's voluntary agencies, but they seem to have mainly more hard to place children. Which, if it was just us, I'd be up for. I worked in special needs for some years. But I am also mindful of balancing ministew's needs, and our responsbility for him. I am not sure what I think about all that yet. But I do still think that surely having a 2 or 3 year old joining him when he's 4 or 5 has to be easier than being, a 9 and having a 7 year old joining him.

International adoption you still have to be approved by your home LA.

I don't know about AEIOU Mountbatten. Maybe if this doesn't go anywhere and we're still not diffed in a couple of months we'll look into it, thanks for the tip.

I'm also entirely failing to see the logic Cass. Although perhaps as there are relatively few babies needing adoption there's the possibility of adopting say a 3 year old when ministew starts school (although obviously the older they are when you adopt the more challenges they're likely to have due to early experiences )

In the meantime accept this here spanking

Anyone else? Twizzlystinks? Line right up.

Sorry, I feel I should clarify. It wouldn't be physical special needs that would worry me with ministew, more extreme behavioural type stuff. I don't want to offend anyone. And like I say I don't really know I think about it all yet.

Oh, and it only took 2 months with mini, Mountmemountme . Adoption's always something we've spoken about; I've wondered since I was a bairn if it was part of my future, and then Mr Stew and I spoke about it v early on in dating, too. I think we thought we'd have another biologically and then look into it but now we're just wondering whether perhaps to do it this way round.

Just not sure which door to push, you know?

Anyway. Sorry, This is not the adoption board so I'll shut up now. Just I posted on there earlier and didn't want any of you to see it and think I was leading some sort of double life.

Sorry, crosspost there, how long does the process take once you're in it? (So how old might ministew be before you had a kid placed with you?)

Is fostering a way in? I certainly know at least one family where long term fostering led to adoption, but I guess there's no guarantees and have no idea how it all works.

I think it takes about 18 months- 2 years. So we were thinking if we applied when he was 2.5 we'd hopefully be approved or nearly when he was 4, and then hopefully some time over the following year get a 2 or 3 year old.

I'd thought also that before he started school would be a good time, because otherwise I was worried it would be in his mind "Mummy's sent me away all day because she's got a new child to play with now".

Anyway. Thanks. Promise not to clutter up board with irrelevancies all afternoon.

MTF - Few of Brangelina's children "match" in terms of heritage. They've a Cambodian one, an East African one and, um, you get the picture.

BeefCurtainStew feel free to post about adoption as much as you like on here. It's something i have thought about and I'm sure planting the seeds of thinking about it is helpful to many of us struggling a bit on here (or not struggling! Adoption is a seperate thing from Infertility of course). Remind me what tests you have had done again? Will your Dr/Fertility clinic not be willing to try clomid? It's very cheap.

JollyOckySticks about time! Squeeeal!

Is BESH = Bell End Sucking Harridans? Mmmm....will keep pondering.

Stew, I'm absolutely with you, worked with children with EBD for a number of years - we have a children's home nearby that is constantly causing trouble and I am aware of sibling abuse in similar foster care cases (i.e. abuse towards parent's natural child) so no way would I consider it.....that may sound harsh as they do need somewhere to go, and I certainly would have considered it before I had squidgling but not now.

Argh, so much to catch up on as always.
Apologies for not name checking everyone but I'm just dashing into the Palais for a v. short time to say hi.

My BESH CV:
31, trying for sproglet no 2 since late last year. White goods mostly ok. Suspected ovarian cyst for me, as have frequent pain on left side. Dildocam and various internals showed nothing, however. Offered laporoscopy as next check for ishooos with me. Wonky cycles too (31-50 days).

Oh my. MrStew just emailed me this:

"Just spoke with XXXX Council? (council about 15 miles away) Much more positive. Certainly no mention of issues re bio/adopted children mix?. Also, they have steady stream of white children under 2 to be adopted, and that as long as age gap was more than 18 months then that was fine. She asked some basic questions and will be sending out a form to complete to take it further. Next open day at address below on 29 July between 5 & 8pm."

I just burst into tears. I still don't know if it will be the right thing for us but at least it feels like an option again, y'know?

Wow. What a difference a phone call makes. I am at our local LA now though!

Oooh, so glad to hear there's options to explore there. Whether it turns out to be the right way to go or not at least you'll be able to make an informed decision.

I gather from friends who are in the process of being approved for adoption that some LAs have a reputation for being excellent, some dreadful. Here's hoping you've now hit on an excellent one.

Your LA does sound out of order, but well done to MrStew and what positive news!!!

Excellent Stewpot, options are a good thing. I guess if you go to the open evening you'll find out more and it'll give you chance to feel if it's a route you want to go down.

How exciting Cass! Options are always a good thing, as Stinky says. Of course, by the law of sod you will apply to LA to start process and then get diffed.

I am Farkin Knackered. I am never again hosting a childrens party at home. Next year she can go to bloody MacDonalds and think herself lucky. The party is not until Sunday (30 rellies, kids and friends descending on us for BBQ.... what was I thinking?!) and think I will have expired by then. I have worked my arse off this week and still have shitloads to do.*

Scorpy I hope your last day at work goes well. Have you got anything in pipeline yet or are you going to wait until after your 'holiday' with the outlaws in August?

*Disclaimer - if I wasn't such a slattern I wouldn't have so much to do.

And Cass you are spoiling us with zis gym skirt.. bend over again love?

HairsonmyGINnygingin you're back! I've missed you. Hope you had lovely holidaying?

Can I help PollyPoo? I like making burgers and little cupcakes, and here have a shoulder massage while I help (slips hands around the front).
BESH=

Busty Erotic Sexy Hotties
Big Eggy Stained Hotpants
Plus my earlier entry
Bell End Sucking Harridans
Beautiful Elastic Secretion Hole....sorry. I've taken it too far now.